Girls To Grow

Nurturing moms in their walk with God

How to Keep On Going When Your Faith is Weak

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Last week we spent several days in the Tennessee mountains with my extended family. We stayed in some lovely facilities and had a wonderful time together.

It was definitely nice to get away and be out of our normal routine for a bit. Because lately, I’m finding myself with more questions than answers most days. It seems like we’ve been living in upheaval and uncertainty for such a long time, though I realize it’s actually only been about five months.

Some mornings it’s harder than others to get my mind moving in the right direction, to fully step into faith and not focus on all the “when’s, why’s, and what if’s.”

I’ll just say it out loud. Some days my faith is weak.

Faith is confidently believing what God has said. That sounds pretty easy on the surface.

I like what Matthew Henry says in his commentary on Hebrews 11:1. “It [faith] is a firm persuasion and expectation that God will perform all he has promised to us in Christ.“

On the good days, I know that, and I’m quoting Bible verses and looking up and moving ahead. But other days I’m questioning a bit, and my faith slips. And in case you have days like that, too, here’s some encouragement for all of us.

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” ~2 Corinthians 5:7

There’s the goal. Walk by faith. But is that our reality? Are we living by what we know God has said or are we living by what we see around us?

I see fear and unrest, people and plans that can’t be counted on. Worry seems like a pretty good option. But we can’t make our circumstances the focus. Each day we have to ask God for faith to get through that day. And we have to lean hard into the promises we find in Scripture.

“Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith;” ~Hebrews 12:2

We would have not faith without Jesus. Our faith originates with Him. He’s also the completer of it in our lives, the one who perfects or matures our faith. I can’t grow it myself. I have to allow Him to cultivate it in me.

Christ is the ultimate example of faith for us to follow. Certainly He faced times of uncertainty in His earthy life – even to the cross – yet His faith was constant.

“So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” ~Romans 10:17

We can expect weak faith if we’re not in our Bibles regularly. The news isn’t going to grow our faith. If we’re looking to Facebook or Netflix to strengthen it, we will continue to be weak. The only place to build up our faith is in God’s Word.

“Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.” ~James 1:3

Maybe we could have skipped this verse. That whole “trying of your faith” thing doesn’t sound like something we want to sign up for!

Is your faith being tried? Mine is. Do I have faith that God is working all things together for our good? Or is this all just a mess that we have to muddle through?

Faith leads us to believe that He has a purpose in everything, even COVID-19. It’s not my plan. It’s His. Part of what comes with each trial, if we’ll allow it, will be increased patience

I like this particular dictionary definition of patience – “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.” I could use some of that!

“For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.” ~1 John 5:4

Our faith will lead us to be victorious. Are the times we’re living in unprecedented? In some ways, yes. But God is still on His throne. We know the end of the story. And faith in God will bring us through these days and even prepare us for whatever lies ahead.

“Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?” ~Luke 18:8

Let the answer to this question be yes!! With God’s help, may our faith be stronger today than it was yesterday. Let’s not give in, but press on in faith, especially as we see how faithful our God is to us.

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8 Tips on Making Decisions About Your Child’s Future

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I know I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. What I write about here is often what I’m dealing with in the moment.

There’s a lot of uncertainty about how the coming school year will begin, especially here in South Carolina. We’re having some of our highest numbers of coronavirus cases since all this started, especially in Charleston County, which is where my younger daughter’s school is located. Across the country, many parents are having to make decisions about whether their child will attend school in person, only virtually, or some mix of the two.

Uncertainty is not where I thrive!! In the midst of all the upheaval, it’s the familiar Bible verses that are bringing me comfort. Yesterday it was this one.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11

The God who knows the end from the beginning has peaceful thoughts toward us, not evil ones. “An expected end” is also translated as “a future and a hope.” God has plans and hope for our and our children’s future. (And couldn’t we all use some hope about now??!!) He has a purpose for us as parents and for our children as we walk through unsettling times.

I already know that my high school daughter’s senior year is not going to look like we expected. Even if they have in-person school, I don’t see her cheer squad traveling to games or the fine arts program competing in events. And what if things get worse and, after starting in-person, they switch back to only online learning?

You may be facing different decisions for your child right now, maybe totally unrelated to schooling. But as I try to come to grips with my own current situation, I developed eight tips to help me get started on making a decision. This post is geared toward making schooling decisions, but the tips can certainly be applied to choosing extracurricular activities or determining how old your child needs to be to have certain privileges!

1. Pray for wisdom.

“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” ~James 1:5

Claiming this promise on a daily basis! God has the true wisdom we need to make decisions. No, we won’t find a Bible verse that says, “Choose this schooling option for your child” or “Sign your child up for this activity.” But we can find principles in His Word and ask for Holy Spirit guidance as we pray.

2. Lay out all of the options.

Admittedly, if you’re in a situation like ours, you’re not sure exactly what the options are at this point. But write out the ones you do know. If you choose to homeschool on your own, what programs are available to you? Do you know yet what options the school your child normally attends are offering? You may need to consider any financial implications related to each option as well.

3. Decide what the long-term goal is.

Because our daughter’s planning on attending college in a year, one of our goals is for her to complete a couple of dual enrollment classes. Those will earn her high school and college credit. Maybe your children are younger, and you want them to have a solid math foundation or they need to catch up in a certain subject. Determine what the desired outcome is and look at which choice is most likely to get you there.

4. Don’t let fear decide for you.

Fear can affect our decisions, and usually not in a positive way. There are certainly risk factors to consider. This could be a child going a long way off to college or having your child try a new curriculum or, in today’s reality, catching the coronavirus.

So use common sense. Take your particular situation into consideration. Drill down into what you’re afraid of and then make the call from a place of confidence. Which leads to…

5. Gather helpful information.

Don’t be obsessive about it (a tendency of mine!), but research your options. Be informed. Figure out what the results might look like if you choose one way over another.

6. Get wise counsel from others.

Talk to those who have already made the choice you’re considering or who have direct knowledge of the situation. Don’t listen to every talking head, news pundit, or distant relative who is convinced that if you don’t do it their way, you must be crazy.

7. Base your decision on what’s best for your individual child and your family as a whole.

You know your child better than anyone else does. Some children work well independently. Others need teacher direction or more social interaction. There may not be a perfect fit, but choose what best meets your child’s needs. At the same time, consider how that choice will affect your whole family.

8. Pray for peace.

We’ll start and end this discussion with prayer. Here’s another one of those familiar verses that’s always applicable.

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:6-7

God can give you peace that you’re making the right decision. Take it to Him in prayer, then make your call. And rest in knowing that there are very few decisions that can’t be changed when they no longer work for you!

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17 Things I Want My 17-Year-Old Daughter to Know

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It’s crazy to realize that my “baby” is 17!! That’s a lot of years that she’s lived in our house…and a lot of chances we as parents have had to try to share advice and wisdom.

I don’t know how much of it has stuck. We’re all still learning and growing together around here. But today I thought I’d give it another shot with this list of 17 things I want her to know.

Here's a list of 17 things I want my 17-year-old daughter to know as she moves into adulthood

1. You’ll never regret being kind.

At the end of the day, it’s usually not the number of times I was kind that I dwell on. No, it’s those moments when I lost my temper or snapped in anger or said something unkind that I wish I could do over.

2. Ground your life now in God’s Word and prayer.

Developing spiritual disciplines in this period of major life decisions is vital. Getting into the habit as a teenager will serve you well for a lifetime.

3. True beauty begins within.

You like makeup and hairstyle trends and that’s all fun and good. But always remember that real beauty shines through from a kind heart and thoughtful gestures and a love for others.

4. Stay true to yourself.

Don’t change who you are to impress a guy or to fit in with a particular group of girls. Find someone who shares that unusual hobby or enjoys the same genre of books. Be you.

5. Be thoughtful about what you post on social media.

People who know you in real life know your heart. Those who only read your online posts don’t.

6. Conversely, know that what someone posts on social media (or how you interpret it) may not be who they really are.

For better or worse, not everyone is a sum total of their tweets or Instastories.

7. Have truth-tellers in your life who will gently show you your mistakes.

This could be a best friend, a husband, a sibling, or a mentor. But have someone who loves you enough to help you grow into a better person, even when it hurts.

8. Be a lifelong learner.

Always be learning. Have a thirst to know more about God and His Word. Read non-fiction books. See the world from other perspectives than your own.

9. Don’t allow the news media or online influencers to dictate your beliefs.

Think for yourself. Base decisions on truth from Scripture. Don’t just fall for the latest political trends or blindly follow a currently popular teacher.

10. Give grace to others.

Parents, teachers, friends who are figuring out life alongside you – they’re all going to make mistakes, and they need the same grace you’ll want extended to yourself.

11. Make good memories.

Be present with your friends. Plan things to do together that don’t involve your phone. And even join in making memories with your family!

12. Look past a guy’s physical appearance to his character.

Yes, you want the physical attraction to be there, but it’s his character – loyalty, honesty, work ethic, sense of humor – that will make him someone you want to spend a lifetime with.

13. Listen to your body.

Are you sick? Do you need to drink more water? Have you not moved your body in three days? Have you been sleeping enough? Treat your body well ’cause it’s the only one you get.

14. Develop firm boundaries around your entertainment choices.

What types of books will you read and not read? How about the movies you’ll allow yourself to watch? Is there music you need to protect yourself from? Set Biblical guidelines today to guide you. Make decisions ahead of time to inform your choices in the moment.

15. Enjoy life’s simple pleasures.

Never get over a beautiful sunset, a walk on the beach, or the taste of a perfectly ripe strawberry. No matter how much money you make or how many amazing experiences you have, always treasure the simple pleasures.

16. Remember that very few decisions are permanent.

Marriage, yes. But in many other areas, don’t get locked into one thing and never try something new. Want to live in the city? Try it for a year. You can always move back to the suburbs. Really don’t like the career you’re in? Develop a plan to try something new.

17. Leave it all on the field.

So that’s a sports metaphor, but basically I’m saying give it all you’ve got. Do your best in the classroom and on the court and at work. Love well. Put relationships first.

At seventeen, you have some wonderful, exciting, and challenging years ahead of you. You’ve got this!! So proud, thankful, and blessed to be your mom.

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What Martha Teaches Me About Serving God

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With daughters spaced two years apart, I get a front-row seat to what a relationship between sisters can look like. I’m also aware of how their personality differences dictate their responses in certain situations. And whether or not you have children, you probably know people who thrive on serving and others who just immerse themselves in the moment.

That’s interesting to keep in mind as we look at a very familiar Bible story. In Luke 10:38-42, Jesus and His followers visit the house where Mary, Martha, and Lazarus live. In a panic to get everyone served, Martha throws herself into preparations around her home. Mary, on the other hand, sits quietly at Jesus’ feet, listening to Him teach.

Martha is frustrated that her sister isn’t helping her, so she appeals to Jesus, wanting Him to send Mary to assist. However, Jesus gently tells Martha that Mary has wisely chosen to spend her time with Him.

Maybe you’ve considered this before, but are you naturally a Mary or a Martha? I’m totally in the Martha camp. When there are things to be done, everyone needs to join in and get busy. We can all sit down and relax when everything is ready…although not really because then it will all have to be cleaned up!

I’m a doer and a list maker. I think that’s partly because I feel I will earn approval if I work hard and meet expectations. And when I have visitors in my home, I want everything to be just right. Can you relate? I wonder if Martha thought she would win Jesus’ and/or the disciples’ approval by working so hard.

I’ve read whole books that have been written about this story, but today, I have just four ideas that I hope will encourage us all.

Jesus sees us in our busyness.

In verse 40, Mary questions Jesus, asking, Lord, do you care? The answer to that is yes. He saw Martha’s troubled heart. He was aware of the work she was trying to accomplish. God had made her with the desire to achieve. And when we’re overwhelmed and trying to do it all on our own, He sees us, too, and has compassion.

We can get caught up in running around and doing all the things. And they can be all good things! He sees our heart and knows our intent, yet He longs most of all for us to fellowship with Him.

Don’t compare our service to what someone else is doing.

Martha was busy, but not too busy to notice that her sister wasn’t helping! She was in her zone, but she thought Mary needed to step it up and shoulder some of the work.

There’s plenty in the service of the Lord for all of us to do. God’s given each of us gifts that we can use to serve Him. Maybe you can’t sing in the choir, but you love helping in the nursery. Or perhaps you like to organize meals for a new mom or are called to lead a ladies Bible study at church. But let’s not measure ourselves against others, whether to make ourselves feel better or worse about what we’re doing.

Make Jesus the priority, not our acts of service.

What did Jesus say to Martha in verse 41? “And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:“

Martha was focused on the work and all the things that needed to be done. And just like her, if we’re so busy serving that we don’t have time to be with Jesus, we’re too busy. It’s all about our relationship with Him, That’s not grown through serving, but through spending time in His Word and in prayer. We’re not fit for service if we’re not taking time to be with Him.

As we serve, it could also be helpful for us to check our motives. Was Martha rushing around because she wanted to serve Jesus well or because she wanted to impress all these people who were in her home? We can’t know, but I could relate if it was the second motive! It might be helpful to ask ourselves if we’re serving because we love Jesus or so that everyone else will notice our efforts.

Don’t let our service distract us from our worship.

How sweet it is to just be with God. While His followers didn’t know it, Jesus wasn’t going to be with them for years and years, but for just a short time. Being able to listen to, learn from, and worship Him that day was a privilege.

Sometimes we don’t see the value in stillness. With busy schedules, it’s all too easy to rush through our devotional time and fail to really worship the Lord on a regular basis.

I’d love to know how this story ended. Did Martha set aside what she was doing and join Mary at Jesus’ feet? Did Mary eventually get up and help Martha serve their guests? I guess we’ll have to find out when we get to Heaven! But I do know that Jesus invites each one of us to spend time with Him and learn from His Word.

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5 Things Parenting Is Teaching Me About My Relationship with God

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Heard the saying, “Confession is good for the soul”? So tell me, are you someone who, prior to having kids, said, “My child will never __________!”

I was. And yes, predictably, at least one or the other of my children did nearly all of the things I filled in that blank with!

Parenting has taught me a lot. It’s taught me a little about my children and a whole lot about myself. It’s also opened my eyes to some of the ways God deals with us as His children. Here are five things I’m learning about my relationship with God as I parent my own children.

1. Life is easier when you obey.

We have a strong-willed daughter who had an extended “terrible two’s” season of life. I remember thinking, “Why can’t you see that your life would go so much more smoothly if you’d simply obey?” It wasn’t like we were asking her to do extremely hard things. We had fairly simple requirements. But she liked to test the limits.

As Christians, it can take us a long time to learn that our life is better if we’ll simply obey God. Our way may seem to make more sense. Or we might not like what He’s telling us to do. But, as James 4:7 tells us, we’re to submit ourselves to God.

It’s also how we show God that we love Him. John 14:15 says, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” Isn’t it sweet as a parent when our child does something just to please us? In that same way, our obedience is a way to show our love for and gratitude to God.

2. Growth takes time.

We know this with our children, especially physically. It’s obvious that their bodies are growing as they get older. But it’s also true with our children emotionally. Maturity allows them to handle disappointments and hard situations with more self-control.

In the same way, spiritual growth takes time. If you’re like me, sometimes you may get discouraged and wonder if you really are growing spiritually. Earlier this year, I read the book Spiritual Growth by Arthur W. Pink. He gave detailed insights into ways we can know if we’ve grown spiritually. And while I know I still have many areas to improve, I was encouraged to see that there are some areas in which I’ve experienced growth.

But remember that growth takes time. Every trial we go through, every answered prayer, each temptation overcome, and our time spent in His Word leads to our spiritual growth.

3. Sometimes “no” is the best answer.

When our children ask for something, no is certainly not what they want to hear. Yet sometimes, because we have done more of life and know what’s best for them, the answer to their request is no.

Neither do we want to hear no when we go to God with a request. We’re asking Him for something because we want it. Yet God in His infinite wisdom denies some of our petitions. And that’s another part of our spiritual growth – learning to trust that He knows what is best for us, even when we don’t understand why.

4. Parenting involves sacrifice.

Whether it’s getting up at 2am to feed a newborn or staying up till midnight waiting for your teenager to get home, sacrificing sleep is often a part of parenting. That’s only one example. We choose to make other sacrifices, too. We want to give our children the best of everything, even if that means giving up something we want.

Sacrifices could be financial or they could involve our time. Playing a game, reading books, going for a bike ride, sitting through a piano recital – these are all ways we sacrifice our time so that we can do things with our children.

We have to look no farther than John 3:16 to understand how God sacrificed for us. He gave His only son that we might have our sins forgiven and live with Him eternally. His great love sacrificed what was most precious to Him so that we could be saved.

5. There’s incredible joy in watching our children grow and mature.

We have teenagers. That in and of itself seems to mean that occasionally they’re going to do or say something immature. But there are times when they respond to a situation or make a decision that shows wisdom and discernment. There’s not much else that brings such joy to a mama’s heart!

How pleased God must be when our first reaction to a difficult situation is to turn to Him in faith rather than resort to our own tactics. When another person provokes us, and we respond in love rather than anger, I think that God smiles at how we’ve let the fruit of the Spirit guide us.

I thank God for His grace, His mercy, and His patience as we learn to walk with Him! May we display those same qualities as we parent our own children.

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Our Hope Then and Now Is Found in the Easter Story

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Easter’s going to have a little different feel to it in 2020.

We haven’t shopped for a new Easter dress or spring shoes. Easter baskets will mostly be filled with whatever I can grab during a weekly grocery store run. [Yes, I still do Easter baskets for my teenage daughters 🙂 ] And we won’t be headed out to our normal Easter service at church on Sunday morning.

With all that’s going on in our world, I want to make sure that the celebration and significance of Easter don’t get lost in the shuffle. I want to be mindful this week to focus my mind on Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection.

And what better event is there to focus on when what we all need today is a major dose of hope? It’s easy in our current environment, where most days feel very long and very much the same, to be discouraged or fearful.

As I thought about how hope plays into the Easter story, this passage came to mind.

“Wherefore remember, that ye being in time past Gentiles in the flesh…That at that time ye were without Christ, being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenants of promise, having no hope, and without God in the world: But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ.” ~Ephesians 2:11-13

It’s interesting to note some parallels between our condition without Christ and the current crisis we’re facing.

We were hopeless.

That’s what everyone single one of us was before Christ came to earth, took our punishment for sin by dying on the cross, and then rose from the dead.

There’s no greater story of redemption and hope. After Adam and Eve sinned in the garden, it looked like this narrative of mankind was headed for a really bad ending. We had no hope of bridging the gap between a holy God and our sinful selves.

Right now, our best hope for living this day-to-day reality that’s so foreign to what we’ve known is to look to God. He alone is the source of true hope.

We were incapable of saving ourselves.

There was nothing you or I could do in our sinful state to save ourselves and get to heaven. God had to initiate salvation. Only He could find a way to reconcile us to Himself and allow us to spend eternity in His presence.

We can’t make COVID-19 and its related problems go away. Hopefully, medical solutions will come soon, but even that will only happen as God gives men and women the ability to figure it out.

God had a plan.

In Genesis 3:14-15, God laid out His plan for our salvation. His Son, Jesus Christ, would be the Savior who would provide a way for man to have forgiveness of sin.

And God has a plan today. Not only does He have a plan for each of us individually through this time, but for our churches and our nations. I couldn’t begin to tell you what it might be, but I trust that He is working in every situation.

It was all in His timing.

Why wait so long between the sin of Adam and Eve in the garden and the coming of the Messiah? I don’t know. But His timing is always perfect. Everything related to Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection was done on His timetable.

Why has the coronavirus afflicted our world in the spring of 2020? I certainly don’t know that either. But we know that it’s all in God’s timing.

There was a purpose to everything He did.

You’ve likely heard sermons about all of the Old Testament prophecies that were fulfilled in the life of Jesus. God orchestrated both the writing and the fulfillment of those prophecies. Nothing was accidentally included; they all had a purpose.

I’m reminded that “The Lord is righteous in all His ways and holy in all His works.” [Psalm 145:17] Everything the Lord does is right and good. He has a purpose for what is happening each and every day.

Victory was waiting in the wings.

Things looked fairly dark that morning as Jesus was led away to be crucified. I would guess that little hope was felt among his followers as they watched Him being nailed to a cross. Yet just three short days later, how their outlook would change.

I don’t know exactly what victory will look like in our current situation. Right now, just a return to what was our normal lives and routines sounds good! Maybe it will also be the lessons we’re learning as so much has been put on hold.

By the blood of Jesus Christ, we who were far off are now drawn close to Him. Let’s immerse ourselves this week in the hope that Easter brings. Eternal life in heaven with our Lord. Peace, grace, and comfort here on earth. His presence to guide us. May we ever give thanks for what Jesus accomplished on our behalf that first Easter!

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Can I Please Send 2020 Back?

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Hear my heart. I know that I am blessed and have innumerable things to be grateful for. I have my health, my family, and a safe place to live. There’s food in the pantry and clean water at my fingertips. Because Jesus is my Savior, I have heaven as my eternal home. Hopefully, you can say the same.

But I think it’s also okay to acknowledge that some seasons are harder than others and that disappointments hurt. Isn’t that why we love the Psalms so much? David is real, raw, and honest about what he’s feeling.

Look at these examples.

“I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears.” ~Psalm 6:6

“Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted.” ~Psalm 25:16

“My soul is also sore vexed: but thou, O Lord, how long?” ~Psalm 6:3

“Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is desolate.” ~Psalm 143:4

God remembers that we are dust. [Psalm 103:14] He made us, and He knows when we’re hurting, confused, afraid, or disappointed.

So with all that behind us, here’s my question.

Lord, can I please send 2020 back??!!

It's less than three months old, but 2020 has already been a trying year.

I realize that it’s not even three months old yet, but some hard things have happened already this year. My dad passed away in January. All of my younger daughter’s fine arts events for this spring are canceled. Today we’re heading to Florida to pick up our older daughter from college, her spring semester now moving to online classes. (She is not thrilled about this development.) Our summer vacation may be in jeopardy.

I know those last few are first-world problems, and those disappointments are small compared to what so many around me are facing. I know sickness and death and quarantine from this virus are real.

But it’s okay to acknowledge that some of these things are difficult for us and to tell God that. He knows how we feel about them anyway.

And after we’ve done that, it’s helpful to remind ourselves that He is in control. I’m glad that He is, and that I’m not. Somewhere in all of this madness, there’s a plan and a purpose. And I know it’s for our good because He is good.

Maybe it’s so we’ll more appreciate our regular routine when it returns. Perhaps we’ll not take our health or our ability to be out and about for granted. Or we’ll be excited about watching sports together again (we will miss you, March Madness!!) And hey, my husband and I get to spend about twenty hours in the car together over two days doing this college trip!

As with all trials, there will be lessons we learn from this experience that wouldn’t have been gained any other way. To trust God – that’s a constant theme for me because I default to self-reliance so easily. We all get to grow our patience as life looks a little different than usual for the next few weeks.

I do know that there’s hope for the future. I have faith in a God who cares and who tells us to cast every one of our cares on Him. [1 Peter 5:7]

One of my very favorite hymns is Day by Day by Lina Sandell. The students at our daughter’s college sang it together at the end of the meeting where the administration announced that they’d be sending students home. No matter what each day brings, it’s message is relevant.

Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.
He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure,
Gives unto each day what He deems best,
Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.

So while 2020 is off to an unexpected, unplanned start for many of us, may we all trust God to provide what only He can in every circumstance we face. Grace, peace, comfort, and joy are all at our disposal as we look to God for strength and encouragement.

8 Important Truths to Teach Our Teenagers from Proverbs 13

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I get it. As the mom of two teenagers, I know that most teens aren’t sitting around waiting for their mom or dad to drop nuggets of wisdom on them. If yours are, more power to you! But that wouldn’t describe mine.

However, life gives us many opportunities to dole out little bits of advice to our kids. It could be when a teachable situation presents itself in their own life or when they talk to you about choices a friend is making.

For optimum benefit, I wouldn’t suggest sitting down and working through this list all at once! But maybe take one or two of these truths and gently work them into your conversation over time – in the car, over pizza, or during a late-night talking session.

1. Be teachable.

“A wise son heareth his father’s instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.” ~Verse 1

In a healthy relationship, parents really do want the best for their children. Often their instruction and correction come from a place of wanting their teen to avoid some of the mistakes they made. Teenagers can tend to think they know it all, but hopefully, we can help them see the value in listening to our guidance.

I thank God for other caring adults, like teachers, coaches, and youth leaders, that He’s placed in our daughters’ lives. Our teens can thrive when they’re willing to accept insights from others. If they fail to listen to people who love them, they could have a rough road ahead.

2. Think before you speak.

“He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.” ~Verse 3

This is old but valuable advice. Wouldn’t we all be better off if we followed it? How many problems could we avoid if we’d either think before we speak or just keep quiet? The answer for me is a whole bunch!

Don’t say everything that pops into your mind. Controlling your tongue will keep you out of many difficult situations as you progress in life.

3. Work hard at whatever you do.

“The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat.” ~Verse 4

Whether it’s in the classroom, on the field, or in the band room, do your best and commit to the process. Habitual laziness will get you nothing and nowhere in life.

4. A little humility on your part will resolve almost any conflict.

“Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well-advised is wisdom.” ~Verse 10

You don’t have to win every argument or prove your point all the time. Be willing to humble yourself and work with others to find solutions to problems.

5. Avoid all get-rich-quick schemes.

“Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labor shall increase.” ~Verse 11

You know how the saying goes…If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Earn money the old fashioned way – with hard work – and you’re a lot more likely to hang on to it.

6. Don’t let disappointments defeat you.

“Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.” ~Verse 12

Disappointments are a part of life. We all face them, and future success is built on how we deal with them. Hopefully, we as parents have helped our children learn how to handle their disappointments. There’s nothing wrong with mourning a loss, but don’t stay there for too long. Pick yourself up and move on.

Robert Kiyosaki says, “The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.“

7. Live your life according to the principles in God’s Word.

“Whoso despiseth the word shall be destroyed: but he that feareth the commandment shall be rewarded.” ~Verse 13

How wonderful it would be if you developed the spiritual disciplines of Bible reading and prayer as a teenager. God blesses us when we know and obey what His Word tells us to do.

Disregarding God’s commands will only bring harm to our teenagers, whether immediately in or in their future. May we as parents set a good example for them by recognizing its authority in our own lives.

8. In every stage of life, find good friends.

“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” ~Verse 20

We can all be easily influenced by our friends. One of my prayers for our girls is that they would have discernment in their relationships, whether it be with other girls or with guys. Our teenagers don’t have the life experience they might need to see through to a person’s character.

Yet good friends can be such a gift! We can encourage each other when we’re down, celebrate each other’s successes, and just make the journey through life so much more fulfilling.

As with most things I write about helping teenagers, I find that all of these are areas I can improve in as an “older” adult as well!

Check out my digital printable How to Pray the Bible for Yourself and Your Family.

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The Simple Lesson of the Magnifying Glass: How We Can Glorify God

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On Wednesday nights at our church, I work with a group of young children. They range in age from four to eight-years-old. As most of us know, using an object lesson is one of the most effective ways to teach a lesson. The curriculum we use had a wonderful one last week.

I took a blank piece of paper and wrote the words “God is eternal” as tiny as I could in the middle of the paper. I pinned it up on a bulletin board in the front of the classroom. Needless to say, the children had a hard time reading what it said from where they sat.

However, I brought a magnifying glass with me and had several of them come up to the front and use that to read the sentence. Once they had the glass, it was easy for them to see what the words said.

So what was the point? It was to demonstrate what it means to glorify God. We take a truth about God and through the way we speak and how we live, we magnify, or make “bigger,” that truth about God so that others can see it.

Then I gave them an illustration. Suppose they were playing ball outside with kids from their neighborhood and a few of them went running after a loose ball. Maybe one of the kids pushed you out of the way in trying to get to the ball first. If you wanted to glorify God, what type of response should you have? Run over and push them back? Yell at them? One little boy said that you should walk over and politely say, “Please don’t do that again.” 🙂 I thought that was a good response.

When our reaction to situations we face is the same as an unbeliever’s, we’re doing nothing to glorify God. But we get to decide if our lives are going to show others – even fellow believers – how great He is. As we learn about God and His character through His Word, we can ask for the Holy Spirit’s help to exalt Him.

What are some specific ways in which we can glorify God? Here are some ideas I found.

By praising Him when times are hard

We proclaim His goodness when we’re going through a trial.

“Offer unto God thanksgiving; and pay thy vows unto the most High: and call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.” ~Psalm 50:14-15

Deliverance may not always take the form we think it should, but God is always faithful to deliver us. Even in the midst of our difficulty, we can praise Him.

By giving Him the credit when times are good

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” ~James 1:17

Sometimes I think this is harder than praising God when times are tough! We’re just cruising along, enjoying our blessings, and don’t make proclaiming our thankfulness to God a priority.

By sharing answered prayer

It can be a great encouragement to let people know when God has answered a prayer in our life. It reminds us of the blessing ourselves and can edify others as they continue praying for something they’re burdened about.

By having a consistent lifestyle

“Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.” ~1 Peter 2:12

In other words, don’t be a hypocrite. People are often watching to see if you practice what you preach – and that can include our children. Our goal is not for them to think highly of us, but of the God we serve.

Here’s another familiar verse about how the way we live our lives can bring glory to God.

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” ~Matthew 5:16

By bearing fruit

“Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.” ~John 15:8

We bear fruit as we abide in Christ. This means staying connected to Him and depending on Him to meet our needs.

By being like-minded as believers

“Now the God of patience and consolation grant you to be likeminded one toward another according to Christ Jesus: That ye may with one mind and one mouth glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” ~Romans 15:5-6

We need to be aligned doctrinally, but often we get worked up over things that don’t make a difference. As Christians, we must live according to the Bible, but outside of that, we should seek to dwell in unity.

As we look back over this list, may we be able to say with David, “I will praise thee, O Lord my God, with all my heart: and I will glorify thy name forevermore.” ~Psalm 86:12

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Grasp Now: 10 Ways We Can Live in the Present

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My husband and I recently made plans for our summer vacation, which makes me so excited!! I love having events to look forward to! Whether it’s a family vacation, a date night with my husband, or buying an item I’ve been saving up money for, I enjoy anticipating what’s ahead.

But what I don’t want to do is wait for a future event to make me happy.

I talked with my daughters about this when they were younger.  There were many things they could hold up as benchmarks for happiness – when I can drive, when I have a boyfriend, when I’m a senior, when I have enough money to buy those shoes I want.  I simply encouraged them to look around and be grateful for all they have to enjoy this day, in this moment, to grasp “now.”

Grasp means “to seize and hold firmly.”  Every day, we’re given opportunities to seize. Most of them can seem insignificant at the time, but they are the building blocks of our lives. Rather than let the small moments slip past us, let’s hold onto them firmly just for this moment that they have been given. 

I had one of these moments on Saturday night. I was working in the kitchen, my husband was in the garage cleaning my car, and our daughter was practicing a song on the piano. Nothing extraordinary was happening. It was just a typical part of our day. But I stopped to thank God for that moment with the three of us here, all healthy, safe, and loved.

I like this quote from Sarah Ben Breathnach.

“Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy.“

Here’s a list of ten things we can do to grasp the now that is today.

1. Give thanks for the small things.

Write down three things you’re thankful for right now. Bonus points if you put it on a sticky note and reflect on those things for the entire day.

2. Take five minutes and sit still.

Literally, five minutes. Set a timer on your phone and be still. Meditate on a Bible verse, sing through a song in your head, pray, picture your favorite place in your mind. Just don’t think about your to-do list.

3. Smile on purpose.

It can be at your family, at the cashier in the grocery store, at a perfect stranger behind you in line. It takes no extra time or money to smile.

4. Hug your family.

As in a real hug, body to body, not a quick pat on the shoulder as they head out the door.

5. Take a picture of something that’s beautiful to you.

It could be the flower blooming in your front yard, the plate of cookies you baked, your child’s smile. Use it as your home screen on your phone to remind you of the beauty around you.

6. Enjoy eating and drinking mindfully.

I eat way too fast, though I blame it on my kids. I like my food hot, and when they were little, if I wanted to get it down hot, I had to do it quickly before one of them needed something.

We gulp down most of our meals. Today let’s make it a process. Be grateful you have an appetite. Savor what you put in your mouth that nourishes your body.

7. Go outside.

Whatever the weather, try to spend at least a few minutes in nature.

8. Say a heartfelt thank you to someone who serves you today.

The bagger at the grocery store, the barista, the fast-food worker who hands you your chicken sandwich, or the teacher at your child’s school would likely all be encouraged by your expression of appreciation.

9. Meditate on a Bible verse that encourages you.

Here are a few to get you started.

“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation.” ~Isaiah 12:2

“My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.” ~Psalm 73:26

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” ~Matthew 11:28

10. Find a little time just to do something you enjoy.

Read a chapter in a book, listen to a podcast or playlist, work on a puzzle, bake cookies, or do some sort of craft. It doesn’t have to take a long time, but set aside a few minutes to do something that brings you pleasure.

We have been given today as a gift from God. May we use the day for His glory by living it to its fullest.

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