The doctors and nurses don’t tell you when you leave the hospital with a tiny newborn baby all that lies ahead of you as a mom. And that’s probably a good thing…
All these years later, we’ve landed in the middle of your teenage years. W
It’s not easy for any of us. The wisdom that we’ve gained from years of living and your desire to make your own choices clash at times.
And even when you dutifully (and sometimes sweetly) follow our directives, I know you don’t necessarily understand.
You don’t understand…
~ why I remind you to “be careful” nearly every time you get behind the wheel of the car.
~why I want you to text and let me know when you’re leaving the school to drive home after a late night ball game.
~why I said “no” to that
~why I probably drive you crazy with how often I ask if you’re okay.
~why I want to know where you’re going and who with…all the time.
~why I won’t let you watch that movie or listen to that song.
~why your cellphone has to be in a basket in the kitchen by 10pm.
~why we’ve taught you to budget and work a job instead of just handing you money.
~why I buy you books titled Liked: Whose Approval Are You Living For and send you blog posts about not settling for bad relationships and ask you to read them.
~why I pray for you so often (though I know I should be on my knees even more).
When, if God wills it, you have a newborn of your own, you’ll begin to understand. When that cuddly baby becomes a toddler, then a kindergartener, you’ll get it even more.
And when that 16-year-old, license in hand, heads out the door to drive all by herself for the first time, then, my sweet daughter, you will understand.
As hard as it is to believe today, I see you doing many of the same things that right now you think you’ll never do as a mom.
Because your heart will be like mine…overflowing with love for a nearly grown child whom you want desperately to protect from the hurts of life and the scars of sin. A child for whom you want only the best.
And in the process of learning to let go, you, as I do, will find yourself leaning ever more on the God who ultimately has control and who loves that child more than you ever could.
So thank you, in these days when you don’t understand, for being patient with your dad and I. We’re all together in this new stage of the growing-up journey.
You’ll make mistakes, and so will we. But if we keep our relationships with God and with each other front and center, we’ll make this transition successfully. We’ll see you go on to become the amazing adult we know you can be.
Then one day, my dear, I believe you’ll understand. Because you’ll see for yourself that all we did stemmed from a heart of love for the precious daughter you are.
- A Letter to My Teenage Daughter: God Made You Special
- A Letter to My Teenage Daughter: Hold On to Your Heart
- 6 Pieces of Advice for a Daughter Who’s Beginning Her Life’s Voyage
What a beautiful letter! Thank you for sharing it with us!
I think you sound like a wonderful mother, strict and caring at the same time. Of course, I’m on the same side of things as you are. 🙂
What a sweet compliment, thank you!! Yes, it’s a tricky balance, but I believe that if our children know our hearts are for them, they’re a lot more likely to accept our limits and instructions, even when they don’t understand.
Misty eyed, nodding in nonstop agreement!!!
My sweet friend, I know you are right there behind me in this parenting journey!! Kids growing up so very fast!
It is a letter so full of meaning and truth. Getting through the teenage years is difficult for them but oh so difficult for us parents. I just find that the world is going too fast and the new generation parents are afraid to say no. It’s a constant battle between what we think is the right thing to do for our teens and what other parents consider to be right. We always come out as the bad guys, but we hope that one day they will understand how difficult it was for us to say no and how it hurt us more than it hurt them. Thank you for putting it in such a beautiful letter.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment!! It’s a struggle for us as parents, attempting to balance what our teens want with what we believe will be the best for them in the long run. I do hope that time and age will give them the perspective to see how we acted out of love, based on our Biblical principles. Parenting teens is not for the faint of heart, but I thank God for His wisdom and grace and the opportunity to see our teenagers become our friends as they go into adulthood.
This letter is so beautiful. My babies aren’t teenagers yet, but I share so many of these same sentiments.
My goodness, I am balling crying right now. What a beautiful letter and very well written. I have a 16 (17 in a month) and a 15 year old. Both girls.!
This letter is so moving. Thank you for sharing it. “Sons are an inheritance from Jehovah(God) , the fruit of the womb is a reward. (Psalm 127:3)
How true and accurate are your penned words I say those words so often. “You don’t understand, I do it for your own good!” You are right tho, God loves them even more then we do (imagine that) we can only have faith that we gave them the foundation to be productive, loving Creatures in the future and they will!!
So wonderful to hear from you!! I appreciate your kind words. It sounds like your two girls are approximately two years apart, as are ours, at 19 and 17. For me as a mom, the teen years have had some difficult moments, so I lean on the faith you mention – trusting that God loves them and will continue to guide them and grow them in their relationship with Him.
Thanks for taking the time to comment, and have a wonderful day!!
Kala Rani says
It’s more obvious that these sentiments move with each mother in the universe…loved the way u have brought all these in words for readers that connect to…I’m a mother of 2 lill girls…1st daughter is 2 n half years n the other is just 2 months old …my heart is already stabbed with much much love n at the same time anxious too.. hopefully everything in almighty hands..
So thankful we can trust a God who loves our children even more than we do!! Thanks for visiting the blog and taking the time to comment. Have a great day!
Alvine Diele says
This is so beautiful, I have twin girls now 12 and resonate with you on all you have said. I am scared and anxious of how they will turn out. Already dealing with pre teen stuff . We truly can only hold to God to help us steer them in the right direction.
Your girls are blessed to have a mom who loves them so much and is seeking God’s help to guide their lives!
There’s definitely a part of us that wants to be fearful and anxious about parenting teens. And there are some really hard parts of it, days when I begged God for wisdom or patience or both! How thankful we can be to have a heavenly Father who is in control and will answer our prayers. He loves our teens and His grace is always sufficient – especially when we feel like we’ve blown it on our own.