My “worst-case-scenario” self made an appearance last week.
My older daughter mentioned on Monday evening that her eye was hurting a little bit. When she got up on Tuesday morning, she said it was really bothering her. She willingly took a couple of ibuprofen, which was a for-sure sign that she was in pain. I started a search for an eye doctor, and got her an appointment for the next afternoon.
However, when I picked her up from school that day, she said it was feeling better. After hearing other symptoms she experienced, I’ve decided it was probably a migraine. Thankfully, she was still feeling better the following morning. I was able to cancel the doctor’s appointment, thus putting my fears about this being the initial symptom of some terrible disease to rest.
We all have days when we’re not feeling well. We get run down, and struggle to find enough energy to get through the day. And just like in our physical lives, we often experience ups and downs in our spiritual lives.
Sometimes I feel like things are going so well. I’m experiencing victory over sin (as in I kept my temper when a certain teenager didn’t respond the way I would have liked). Or maybe I stepped out of my comfort zone and spoke to someone about Christ. Maybe I’ve seen a specific answer to prayer, or have been consistent with my morning devotional time all week.
Then there are the days when it feels like nothing is going right. I’ve given in to that same old familiar sin, I’m discouraged about a situation, or I’ve neglected my Bible again.
I try taking it all to God, but I don’t seem to get any relief, or find an answer for my problem. It can feel like I’m just stumbling along on my own. The words of Edward Mote’s hymn, “The Solid Rock,” comfort me in those times.
“When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.”
When I can’t feel God’s presence or I’m overwhelmed by circumstances or grief seems to have a permanent grip on my heart, I know that God is still there. He is present in my life. No matter my feelings in the moment, they don’t change the fact that God is good and is always with me. I trust in His faithfulness, because I’ve read about it in His Word and seen it evidenced in my life in the past.
I can ask God to reveal any sin in my life that might be hindering my fellowship with Him. Then I can rest in His grace, waiting and hoping through those dark seasons, knowing that He is there for me.