Girls To Grow

Nurturing moms in their walk with God

5 Ways to Have a Christ-Centered Home

by 4 Comments

Welcome to the first blog post of March 2022! The weather here is warming up and I’m already noticing a few weeds poking through the grass in the yard here at our new house. I’m not someone who enjoys yard work, so it’s a good thing my husband likes getting out there! It will be fun to see what he does with the landscaping as we get into spring and summer.

No matter what stage of life you’re in – single, newlywed, parenting young children, or the empty nest – as Christians, our goal can always be to have a Godly home. We influence the people who live there as well as those who visit. So how do we start thinking about cultivating a Christ-centered home?

You’re likely familiar with Joshua 24:15. “And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

It’s a choice. In this passage, Joshua lays out the options for the children of Israel and tells them to make a decision. And then he makes it clear to them what his choice will be. In the same way, we can commit to doing the best job that we can to have a Godly focus in our homes.

So once we make that decision, what’s next? How might we put that into practice? Here are five things we can do to have a Christ-centered home.

Check out this list of five important things you can do to have a Christ-centered home.

1. Make God’s Word a priority.

This starts with us individually spending time in our Bible. Then it can extend to having a family Bible time. It doesn’t have to be long and drawn out, but find a few minutes in the day – maybe before or after a meal, or at bedtime – when everyone can gather to read and talk about a Scripture verse and pray.

As you’re working around the house, you can play Christian podcasts or listen to sermons online. If your child is memorizing Bible verses for a kids’ program at church, work on that together. Talk through what the verse means and how it might apply to their lives.

2. Use prayer as a first resort.

If your child comes home from school talking about an issue with a teacher or a friend, what’s your first response? Mine was usually to find out the details and decide if I needed to intervene in any way.

You know what would have been the best first step? To pray about it. Just right then and there. Pray for whoever else was involved, pray for your child, pray for wisdom on how to deal with the situation.

That’s just one example, but in so many issues that arise in our homes, prayer is the best first response. There may be other actions we need to take, but taking it to God first can give us peace and direction.

3. Choose good music and play it often.

We have an Amazon Echo in our living area, so it’s easy to ask Alexa to play a playlist for us – and it’s still not something I do regularly enough! You could also make singing part of your family Bible time. Sing a hymn or a chorus – and if someone plays an instrument and can accompany the family, even better!

4. Focus on attitudes as much as actions.

It’s usually a lot easier to correct or discipline our kids for actions instead of attitudes. It can take more time to drill down into a bad attitude and figure out what’s really going on in your child’s heart.

We want to encourage our children to be grateful, considerate of other family members, full of joy, and so much more. As my dad always said, “Attitude is everything.” Get that right, and the actions will tend to correct themselves.

5. Have open discussions about everything.

Whether it’s around the supper table, sitting on their bed at night, or riding in the car, be approachable. Don’t shut down when they bring up certain topics. You may need to tailor your answers based on what’s age-appropriate. But help your kids feel comfortable talking about anything from spiritual questions to friend breakups to something strange that they heard about from kids at school.

As these conversations come up, use principles you know from God’s Word to guide the discussion. Help your children see that no matter what they’re up against, they can find help, encouragement, and guidance from Bible principles.

I’ll confess that I’m convicted about doing better in all of these areas! May each of us ask God to show us how we can have homes that bring honor and glory to Him.

Related posts:

10 Essential Things That Wise Women Do

by 4 Comments

Welcome back to Girls to Grow! My sweet husband has been traveling to some colder places – Denver last week and Minneapolis this week – and it’s making me appreciate the warmer days we’re having here in South Carolina in late February. It’s exciting to realize that spring is only a few weeks away!

There’s a neat feature on the backend of the blog where I can see what search terms people use to find my blog posts. Very frequently, one of those terms has to do with being a wise woman.

I’ve written a few posts on that topic before, and I’ll link them in the “Related Posts” section below. However, today I thought we’d dig into ten essential things that wise women do. I hope we’ll recognize some on the list that already characterize our lives, and maybe find a few that we can work on!

Want to be a wise woman? Check out this list of ten Bible-based things that wise women do.

1. Think before they speak.

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: ~James 1:19

Isn’t this an appropriate place to start? Controlling our tongue is probably a lifelong struggle for all of us! But taking a quick second to think before we make a comment or respond to someone can save us from a lot of heartache or misunderstanding.

Also, do you remember Proverbs 17:28? “Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.” Sometimes the best course of action is to just say nothing at all!

2. Study God’s Word.

The entrance of thy words giveth light; it giveth understanding unto the simple. ~Psalm 119:130

It only makes sense that if we want to be wise we’ll read God’s Word, study it, and meditate on it. We can think of practical ways to do this like writing a verse on a 3×5 card and looking at it throughout the day. Set a timer on your phone and read a particular verse whenever it goes off. Getting into the true source of all wisdom can only lead to us getting wiser.

3. Manage their money well and are generous.

She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. ~Proverbs 31:20-21

The virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 wants to help those who are in need. Maybe she gives money – or it could be a warm meal or clean clothes.

At the same time, she makes sure the people in her own house have what they need. Proverbs 31:11 tells us that her husband trusts her and will have no lack of gain. She’s a prudent and faithful manager of the household and finances.

4. Are content with what they have.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. ~1 Timothy 6:6-7

Whether it’s from looking at social media or just comparing what we have with our friends or neighbors, we can easily get dissatisfied. Instead of comparing, cultivate a grateful heart. Actually count your blessings. Rest in the truth that what you have is enough and be satisfied.

5. Serve others.

Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. ~ Galatians 6:2

It’s so easy to get caught up in our own struggles and trials. That pity-party for one can last a long time if we let it! But a wise woman’s focus is not on herself. She makes a point of noticing others’ needs and looks for ways that she can help. Besides obeying the verse above, don’t we just feel so much better ourselves when we reach out and help someone else?

6. Use their time well.

 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. ~Psalm 90:12

Ephesians 5:16 calls it redeeming our time. We want to buy it back. Time is going by no matter what we do. It’s our responsibility to take control of it and use it wisely. There’s certainly a place for rest and relaxation. But God has given each of us a certain number of days, and we want to make sure we’re not just wasting time, but purposely spending it on things that matter.

7. Control their anger.

He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly. ~Proverbs 14:29

I used to think I wasn’t an angry person, but I feel like that’s changed as I’ve gotten older. It seems that it doesn’t take much for me to feel annoyed or frustrated.

If I want to be wise, I’ll have to pray for the Holy Spirit’s help to be slow to anger. Memorizing verses like the one above – and others, like Proverbs 16:32, which says that those who are slow to anger are better than the mighty – can help me when I’m tempted to be quick-tempered.

8. Ask God for wisdom.

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. ~James 1:5

This one makes sense, doesn’t it? A wise woman recognizes that she doesn’t have all the answers. So she prays and asks an all-wise God to give her the wisdom she needs. And He promises to do it!

9. Live their lives with a humble spirit.

When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom. ~Proverbs 11:2

To reference another Bible verse, a wise woman doesn’t think of herself more highly than she should. [Romans 12:3] She recognizes that all that she is and has are the result of the blessings of a gracious God.

10. Have eternal – not earthly – values.

 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. ~Colossians 3:1-2

Our busy day-to-day lives demand our attention. It’s easy to forget that there’s so much more to live for than what’s in the here and now. Spending time in God’s Word and prayer and investing in people are actual things we can do that will impact our lives today and forever.

So are there one or two of these that you can work on this week that will help you be a wise woman? I’d say for me, numbers 5 and 6 can definitely use some work. Let’s ask God to help us to be wise women, not for our own glory, but for His!

Related posts:

7 Important Things to Remember as We Pray for Our Teenagers

by 4 Comments

Hello and thanks for stopping by Girls to Grow today! It’s been a good week here so far and I hope you can say the same. We had a quiet Valentine’s Day dinner at home on Monday night. Yesterday I worked on various blog projects and I hope to get a little more done with those today.

I’ve mentioned numerous times here how I like to use Scripture-based prayers, especially when I’m praying for my family members. I’ve given specific examples in posts like 5 Prayers to Pray When Your Child Is Hurting and 10 Important Prayers to Pray for My College-Bound Daughter.

Praying for our children is always the number one thing we can do for them. But I think the teen years highlight just how true that is. Our teenagers are gaining independence. They’re changing, they’re making big decisions, and maybe even figuring out their faith for themselves for the first time. Here are seven key things to keep in mind as we pray for them.

Here's a list of seven helpful things to remember as we pray for the teenagers in our lives.

1. Your will may not be God’s will.

Have you asked God if the prayers you’re praying for your teenager are in line with His will? Sometimes we fill our prayers with our own plans and ideas for what should happen in our teen’s life. So let’s examine our requests and determine if they’re just our own desires or what God would truly have for them.

Here’s where praying Scripture-based prayers is a huge blessing. We know that if we’re praying God’s Word back to Him, we’re praying in His will. Let’s use Proverbs 3:5 as an example. If you pray, “Lord, please help my daughter to trust in you with all her heart and not lean on her own understanding,” you can be confident you’re praying the same thing that God would want for her.

2. God sees the big picture.

One of our daughters went through a trial recently. She certainly wouldn’t have signed up for it – nor would her dad and I have signed her up for it! However, I believe the lessons she’s been learning will prove invaluable as she matures in her faith.

All that you and I can see is the here and now. But our God knows the end from the beginning. He is doing a work in our teen’s life to prepare her for the future.

3. God is at always work.

We pray and we pray and we pray…but it seems that God’s not moving. Nothing is happening. Or at least that’s how we feel when there aren’t immediate and visible results.

But God is working. He’s aware of what’s going on with our teenagers. He has people or circumstances or situations lined up behind the scenes. God can orchestrate anything that He wants to happen in her life. In those times we don’t see God at work we get to grow our own faith by trusting Him.

4. Recognize that you – not your teenager – may be the one who needs to change.

I’m obviously not talking about going against BIble principles or your own convictions here. But maybe you’ve closed your mind against a particular idea in your teenager’s life when it’s something that’s just a preference. Be humble enough to ask God to reveal to you any area where you might need to change your mind.

5. It’s not one and done.

It might be nice to see an answer to prayer in our teen’s life and think, “Great, they’ve conquered that issue.” Rarely does it work that way. Our teenagers are still growing in their faith. They will sometimes struggle with the same things over and over again. And we do, too. When that particular struggle comes up again, give them grace and keep praying.

6. Our heart’s desire should be for God to receive glory.

It’s not about our reputation or our teenager’s reputation. It’s about God getting the glory. Yes, our prayers for our teenagers focus on them and their needs. But ultimately we want God to be glorified through answered prayer and the work that He accomplishes in their lives.

7. God answers prayer.

Keep praying. Don’t give up. As we studied in Psalm 145 recently, God is close by those who call on Him. Take the burdens of your heart to Him and have faith that He will answer in His time and in His way.

What a gift God has given us in being able to talk to Him about our teenagers! Always remember that He loves them even more than we do. As much as we want the best for their lives, He wants the same – and He knows what truly is best. Let’s cover our teens in prayer and then praise Him as we see Him answer those prayers!

Related posts:

Merry Christmas 2021!!

by 2 Comments

Happy almost Christmas-Eve Eve!! I hope you’re well and able to take some time during the next couple of days to really enjoy the season and celebrate the birth of our Savior.

I don’t normally take this much time off from posting on the blog, but it’s been a whirlwind of a month! We closed on our new home on Monday, December 6th. Since it’s only a ten-minute drive between our old house and the new one, my husband and I made a number of trips moving boxes and smaller items ourselves. Movers came and moved our big furniture on the 8th. We got everything out and the old house cleaned on Saturday the 13th. Sunday we met the new owners and handed them the keys.

It was actually a fairly emotional transition for me. We lived in that house for 14 years. It’s where our youngest started kindergarten and graduated from high school. So many memories were made there and it will forever be the place we remember as our daughters’ childhood home. I put a picture and post on Instagram; you can find it here if you’d like to read more.

Since then it’s just been a matter of trying to get settled into our new home. The main living areas are mostly put together. My husband has been the best, hanging light fixtures and ceiling fans and pictures on the walls! Then our girls got home from college last Thursday night. It’s been wonderful to have them home and settling into their own rooms.

Thankfully I had almost all my Christmas shopping done before the move. I took the afternoon and evening just before the girls arrived to wrap everything. Our only decoration this year is the Christmas tree, but it’s nice to have that plugged in out in the sunroom.

We’re traveling for a few days around Christmas, so I doubt I’ll be writing much before New Years. However, I look forward to being back at the beginning of the year with new posts here at Girls to Grow.

Before I sign off, I wanted to leave you with a thought my husband shared with our Sunday School class last weekend. It’s from Luke 2:10-11

“And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.“

The good news, the gospel, is for all people. Yet it says “for unto you is born…” It’s personal. The good news is for you. The truth is that Jesus, the Son of God, was born to be your Savior, to take the punishment for your sins, that you might spend forever in heaven with Him. That’s the joy of Christmas! God loved you so much He sent His Son as a gift – yes, to the world, but for you.

Thanks for making it through my life update and being patient with this little blogging break of mine! From our home to yours, I wish you a very Merry Christmas!! May the love of friends and family and the good news of Jesus’ birth bring you joy and peace this Christmas season!

A Powerful Prayer of Blessing for Your Family

by 6 Comments

Somehow it’s gotten to be Wednesday again, and it’s less than a week till our daughters come home from college for Thanksgiving break! This will be the first time they’ve been home since they started the semester at the end of August. We’re all excited for them to be back here for several days.

Recently my husband was talking about how when my mom sends us a card or a note, she always includes 3 John 4. Are you familiar with that verse? It says, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” It’s always an encouragement to us to keep walking in truth!

I’m not as consistent about including a Bible verse reference when I write to our girls. However, when I do put one in their notes, it’s typically Number 6:24-26. That’s the blessing I pray often for my family.

“The Lord bless thee, and keep thee: The Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The Lord lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.”

So when I pray these verses, what am I asking God for in regards to my family? It’s these six things.

Six things to pray for those we love from an Old Testament passage of blessing

1. His blessing.

To me, this means wanting God to grant good things to those for whom I’m praying. I’m trusting that He will answer the prayers that my husband or children are praying for their own lives. And not just answer those requests but do it exceeding abundantly above all that they could ask or think. [Ephesians 3:20]

2. His protection.

God has the ability to watch over my family in whatever situation they face. He can protect them from physical harm, and also from spiritual attacks. Just as Jesus taught his disciples to pray, I can ask that the Lord would not lead them into temptation, but would deliver them from evil. [Matthew 6:13]

3. His favor.

This portion of the passage says, “The Lord make his face shine upon thee…” Just as the sun shines light and warmth down on the earth, I want God’s favor to shine on my family because He is pleased with them. Matthew Henry’s commentary calls God’s favor “the smile of a loving Father.”

4. His grace.

We all need God’s grace every day of our lives. No matter how well my husband or daughters (or myself!) may be living, we could never deserve all the good things that God provides for us. And when one of them is struggling, it’s God’s grace that can carry them through, giving strength and courage as they need it.

5. His notice.

We know that God cares for each one of us. Yet I love this reminder of the Lord lifting up His countenance upon us. How sweet to pray that God would focus on someone I love, that they would receive His individual attention and kindly interest.

6. His peace.

What a way to end! God’s peace in the lives of those we care about is such a gift. Life comes along and gives them reasons to be anxious, worried, or fearful. But God can give them His peace in their soul.

These verses hang on a wall in our home and are a daily reminder to me to pray God’s blessings over my family!

Dear Lord, bless my husband and my children. Protect their bodies, minds, and hearts. Don’t allow Satan to gain a foothold in their thoughts. Cause your face to shine on them and allow them to see your grace at work in their lives. Look on each one of them today and let them know that you love and care for them. Give each one your peace in their souls.

If you’d like to learn more about praying for your family, check out my prayer guide on How to Pray the Bible for Yourself and Your Family.

Related posts:

How to Make the Journey from Fear to Faith

by 4 Comments

Hello and welcome to Girls to Grow! It’s a beautiful fall afternoon here. And while I’m not a fan of how early in the evening it gets dark now, I do love that we’re back to it being light earlier in the mornings.

I’ve almost finished Priscilla Shirer’s Bible study on Elijah. This week we’ve looked at how Elijah ran from Jezebel and her death threat in 1 Kings 19. That led to a deeper look at other Bible characters who found themselves in a place of fear but were able to journey through it to faith.

Let’s look at three examples.

Three examples of people in the Bible who moved from fear to faith and how we can do the same.

Jacob.

He was running from his brother Esau who was plotting to kill him. [Genesis 27:41] His mother’s plan was to send him to visit her family until Esau’s anger passed. Jacob was off on a journey to an unknown land to stay with unfamiliar people. On the way, he encountered God.

“And behold, the Lord…said, ‘…I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of.‘” ~Genesis 28:13-15

Moses.

He used to be a prince living in a palace. Now he’s a shepherd out in the middle of nowhere. Moses once thought he could help his people break free from their bondage, but his way hadn’t worked. Until he encountered God, in the midst of a burning bush.

“Come now, therefore, and I will send thee unto Pharaoh, that thou mayest bring forth my people the children of Israel out of Egypt.” ~Exodus 3:10

Gideon.

The Israelites are in bondage to the Midianites. Gideon and his father are threshing wheat in hiding so that the enemy won’t come and take it away. [Judges 6:11] Then Gideon encountered God.

“And the Lord looked upon him, and said, “Go in this thy might, and thou shalt save Israel from the hand of the Midianites: have not I sent thee?…Surely I will be with thee, and thou shalt smite the Midianites…’” ~Judges 6:14, 16

How did these men get victory on the other side? How did they go from a place of fear or uncertainty to living out God’s plan for them?

They trusted God. They believed what He told them and acted on it.

Let’s revisit each of them.

Jacob.

“…If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go…then shall the Lord be my God.” ~Genesis 28:20, 21

What does Jacob come back and say later on in his life? “…O God of my father Abraham, and God of my father Isaac…I am not worthy of the least of all thy mercies, and of all the truth, which thou hast shewed unto thy servant…” ~Genesis 32:9, 10

Moses.

Did it take Moses a minute or two to work through what God wanted him to do? Oh yes. But in Exodus 4:20, he returns to Egypt with the rod of God in his hand. And what does Moses say on the banks of the Red Sea with the Egyptian army breathing down his neck?

“And Moses said unto the people, ‘Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will shew to you today: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen today, ye shall see them again no more for ever.‘” ~Exodus 14;13

Gideon.

He has gathered an army, seen it shrink, then overheard a man telling about his dream that Gideon would defeat the Midianites.

“And it was so, when Gideon heard the telling of the dream…that he worshipped, and returned unto the host of Israel, and said, ‘Arise: for the Lord hath delivered into your hand the host of Midian.‘” ~Judges 7:15

Each of them believed what God said. They had faith that God would keep His Word, that He was faithful to His promise.

What’s your struggle today? Are you running from a certain situation? Are you afraid of following through on something God’s asked you to do?

God has a promise for you in His Word. Could one of these be what you need today?

Do you have a need for God to meet? “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:19

Do you feel left alone by God? “…for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” ~Hebrews 13:5

Do you want wisdom? “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” ~James 1:5

How about strength? “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:13

Desire victory over fear? “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” ~Isaiah 41:10

I’ll end with an example from Paul’s life in 2 Corinthians 1:8-10.

“For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life: But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead: Who delivered us from so great a death, and doth deliver: in whom we trust that he will yet deliver us;”

They trusted in God. He delivered. And they continued to trust that He would deliver them in the future.

Claim a promise from God’s Word and trust Him to be faithful to keep it. May God help us as Christian women in 2021 to rely on His promises and trust Him for every need today and for those that are ahead.

Related posts:

12 Best Parenting Books for Moms

by 11 Comments

This post contains Amazon affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from qualifying purchases at no extra charge to you. Thank you for supporting Girls to Grow through your purchases!

I tend to collect parenting books.

Rearing Godly children is something I’m passionate about, so it’s hard for me to pass up a book that might present a principle in a unique way or encourage me in my role as a mother.

Here I’m sharing twelve of my favorite parenting books from the many that I’ve read over the years.

[My own little disclaimer: There are few books outside of the Bible that I would agree with 100%. And while I definitely recommend the books on this list, that doesn’t mean that I endorse every single word that the author’s written.]

Check out this list of 12 books that can help moms learn and grow as they parent their children

1. On Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam, MD

I’ve heard lots of different opinions on the scheduling and sleep training ideas presented in this book. All I can speak to is my own experience. I followed many of the authors’ suggestions with both of our girls and they were sleeping through the night at an early age. Having a simple schedule to follow gave me a lot of confidence as a new mom.

2.  Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child by Burton L. White

I enjoyed the basic parenting principles in this classic book. It’s broken down into chapters that cover the first three years of a child’s life and talks about how children develop at each stage.

3.  Making Home Work in a Broken Society by Paul Chappell

It’s hard to raise Godly children in a culture that leans away from God. This book reminds us that by following Biblical principles in our homes we can still have families that love and serve Jesus.

4.  John Rosemond’s Six Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children

John Rosemond is one of my favorite parenting authors. His advice is so practical and his writing style is down-to-earth.

5.  Different Children, Different Needs by Dr. Charles F. Boyd with Robert A. Rohm, PHD

This book helps you evaluate your own personality style as well as that of your child. Then it gives you pointers on how to effectively parent based on those individual personalities.

6.  On Becoming Childwise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam, M.D.

This book generally covers ages three through seven of your child’s life. That’s one of my favorite segments of parenting! Included are 15 principles to help you parent well through this season.

7.  Making Children Mind without Losing Yours by Dr. Kevin Leman

First of all, what a great book title! Dr. Leman uses humor to help us see the lighter side of parenting, yet includes reasonable solutions to many of our parenting dilemmas.

8.  Passionate Parenting by Cary Schmidt

If you’re parenting teenagers, this book is for you. It’s full of helpful advice and also showed me that many of the parenting struggles I faced during my girls’ teen years were shared by others!

9.  The Pursuit of Godly Seed by Danny Kenaston

Here’s an in-depth parenting book that covers all the basics in regards to having a solid Christian home. It’s not a light read, but worth investing your time in.

10.  The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian

Nothing has inspired me to pray like having children! This book is a great reminder of the impact we can have on our children as we cover every area of their life in prayer.

11.  Middle School:  The Inside Story by Cynthia Tobias and Sue Acuna

If you have a middle schooler, I’d encourage you to read this book. The authors are experts in dealing with children in this age group and offer plenty of practical advice and encouragement.

12.  Boundaries with Kids by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

Just like the other books in the Boundaries series, this one helps you set reasonable limits where needed so that your child can develop personal responsibility.

A book that almost made the list: Making the “Terrible” Two’s Terrific by John Rosemond. Another very practical book on dealing with some of the issues that make parenting this age group a little scary 🙂

As I reviewed these titles, I noticed that I’m drawn to books that help parents teach their children personal responsibility. How about you? Have you read any of these books? What other parenting books would you recommend? Let me know in the comments below!

Originally posted September 2010. Updated September 2021.

5 Revealing Characteristics of a Foolish Woman

by 13 Comments

Hello, friends, and welcome to autumn! The weather is definitely supposed to feel more fall-like here over the next few days, and I’m looking forward to that. I’m not ready for coats and boots yet, but a little sweater weather would be nice 🙂

Recently I was trying out a new recipe. The instructions said to put a certain group of ingredients in the food processor. However, I didn’t want to drag that heavy thing out from under the counter and then have to clean it when I was done. The blender was much easier to access in the pantry and I could easily throw it in the dishwasher afterward.

That all sounded like a great plan until I got the ingredients into the blender. And then I realized that there was almost no liquid in there…meaning the ingredients probably weren’t going to come together like they were supposed to. At that point, I wasn’t about to dump it all into the food processor and start over. I *may* have gone off script and added a little liquid to make it work.

It came out okay in the end, but in retrospect, I can see how the food processor would have worked better. Full disclosure: I feel like a lot of my cooking and baking adventures go this way. I do something wrong the first time and learn from that what not to do the next time!

There are times when we can learn the right way to do something by studying what not to do. I think we’d all agree that we want to be wise women. So today I thought we’d look at what characterizes a foolish woman to see how we don’t want to act.

Based on different Bible verses, here are five characteristics of a foolish woman.

Are you a wise or foolish woman? Check out these five characteristics of a foolish woman and see if you recognize any of them in your own life.

1. She won’t listen to instruction.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” ~Proverbs 1:7

A foolish woman isn’t teachable. She wants her own way. She doesn’t seek wisdom from God’s Word or from Godly people in her life.

I think we can throw stubbornness in here, too. Proverbs 7:11 describes the strange woman as stubborn. If you want to be a foolish woman, refuse to change your mind even when there are good reasons to do so. Don’t yield to anyone else’s direction, regardless of the circumstances.

2. She tears down her house.

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” ~Proverbs 14:1

I’ve done some digging to try to discover what that phrase means – the foolish woman plucks her house down with her hands. Obviously, it’s not talking about her physical house, but her home. It would be actions that damage her family’s well-being.

Things that come to mind are living above her means, spending money that they don’t have. Maybe she fails to manage the household well; she neglects her children and doesn’t provide the things that would make them feel safe. And there’s certainly the spiritual side of it as well. If she doesn’t prioritize living out and teaching God’s Word, she is failing to build the spiritual foundation they need for life.

3. She doesn’t accept everything as from God’s hand.

“Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die. But he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this did not Job sin with his lips.” ~Job 2:9-10

Wow, Job had it so right here. His wife’s perspective was, “How can you still believe in a God that would allow all these terrible things to happen to you?”

Is that how we want to be, doubting God’s love and goodness when a trial comes along? That’s the way of the foolish woman.

4. She has no control over her tongue.

“The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.” ~Proverbs 15:2

Like water pouring out of a pitcher, a foolish woman just lets words spill out of her mouth. We could say that she doesn’t have a filter or that she speaks before she thinks.

Honestly, this can be an easy trap to fall into. Usually, the more we talk, the more opportunities we have to say something we shouldn’t. And thoughtlessly spoken words can hurt others.

5. She gets angry easily.

 “Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.” ~Ecclesiastes 7:9

Just like the foolish woman doesn’t control her tongue, neither does she control her emotions. She blows up over little things. Maybe her family tiptoes around her until they’ve assessed what her mood is that day.

Nothing good comes from having a short fuse. A sign of a foolish woman is one who has a quick temper and is easily offended.

As we see these five qualities of a foolish woman, let’s ask God to point out any that have taken root in our own lives. With His help, we can become wise women who bless our families and honor Him.

Can you think of other traits that a foolish woman might have? Let me know in the comments below!

Related posts:

11 Important Things Your Teenage Daughter Needs from You

by 4 Comments

Well, it happened. We moved our junior and freshman college students into their dorms on Saturday and said goodbye on Sunday afternoon. I guess that officially makes us empty nesters! I think I’m still in denial because I certainly don’t feel like an empty nester, but I’m sure it will hit me at some point soon.

Back at home, I’ve been cleaning their rooms and organizing what they left behind. I’m trying to maintain that balance of checking in with them to find out how things are going and letting them get the semester started without me hovering 🙂

Between our two girls, I’ve been parenting a teenage daughter for almost eight years. It seems like there’s still plenty I haven’t figured out. Yet there are lessons I’ve learned – many of them the hard way – that you might find helpful as you parent your own teen girl. Here I give you my list of eleven important things our teenage daughters need from us.

A list of eleven important things our teenage daughters need from their moms and dads

1. A listening ear

If she’s in a mood to share about her day – whether in excitement or frustration – listen. Sometimes you can tell that she wants your full attention. Other times she may seem more comfortable talking while she’s sitting at the kitchen counter and you’re chopping vegetables. Either way, take advantage of every opportunity to get a peek into her world.

2. A calm response

You may be able to traverse the seven years of female teenage-dom with no emotional outbursts from your daughter. If so, congratulations. If not, be the adult and stay calm. One or both of you may need to step away from the situation until you can talk it through objectively.

3. Assurance of your love

There may be days you don’t like her that much but she needs to know that you will always love her. Tell her as well as show her. (Here are seven ways you can show love to your teenage daughter.)

4. Approval

Tell her you’re proud of how hard she worked on that research paper or the way she resolved a misunderstanding with a friend. It’s easy to feel like her friends’ approval matters more than yours in these teen years, but she still needs to know that you notice and support her.

5. Confidentiality

She needs to be able to tell you things and know that you will keep her confidence. Don’t share with others stories or situations that you know would embarrass her. (The obvious exception would be if her struggle is one that requires help beyond what you can provide.)

6. Firm boundaries

This one is hard because teenagers love to push up against boundaries. I don’t think I did this well in every area, but there were some lines that didn’t get crossed. She likely won’t admit it, but your daughter finds security in boundaries.

7. Approachability

She should feel like she can come and talk to you about anything. As she gets older, be willing to discuss new freedoms as she approaches you with a reasonable request in a mature manner. Cultivate adult discussions that help you understand each other’s viewpoint.

8. Authenticity

Teens are well on their way to becoming adults and they can see through insincerity. Your daughter lives with you 24/7. She knows that you blow it sometimes, so be honest about your struggles.

9. Prayers

I’ve written a lot about this! Here’s 10 Prayers to Pray for Your Daughter as well as 3 Prayers to Pray As We Learn to Let Go of Our Teenagers. Our girls need us to pray for them – and make sure you tell her that you’re praying for her!

10. Perspective for the future

Teens live for now. They don’t often think about the long-term consequences of the decisions they make today. So have conversations with them about how they want their lives to look in six months, a year, two years. Encourage them to set themselves up for success later by making good choices in the present.

11. Freedom to become who God wants her to be

Sometimes we have our own agenda for our children. And while it’s fine to want good things for them, our most important goal should be for them to follow God’s plan for their lives. Let’s not put expectations on our daughters to choose a certain career or live just down the street from us. Let one of your prayers be that she would become all that God has for her to be, whatever that looks like.

Parenting a teenage daughter can be fun and challenging and may look different today than it did yesterday! Let’s encourage our girls by providing what they need as they grow through their teen years. And let me know what else you would add to this list!

Related posts:

9 Short, Simple Pieces of Advice for College Freshmen

by 4 Comments

We’re past the middle of August now, and I’m guessing many of you with school-aged children are in the process of starting a new school year. I actually ended up at our daughters’ former school on Monday, which was the students’ first day of classes. I was dropping off my daughter’s cheer uniform from last year. Walking into the school office again without having a child on campus felt a little strange!

We’re now in the single digits…just nine days until we take our youngest daughter to college. We still haven’t gotten everything on our list, but we’re getting close! Her last day of work is Monday, so we’ll have a few days to pack it all up before we head to Florida.

As a mom, you hope you’ve done a good job preparing your child for this next season in life. It’s a big step, living independently, for the most part, hundreds of miles away from home. As we count down these final days before college life begins, I have a list of nine things I want her to remember.

Tips to get her college career off to a good start

1. Take care of your body.

I dispensed this down into four words. Eat. Drink. Move. Sleep.

Eat at least some healthy foods and stay hydrated. Walking to classes daily should keep you moving, but occasionally make time for some real exercise. And, as much as possible, prioritize a good night’s sleep.

2. Spend time with God every day.

So many activities and obligations can crowd out the most important thing. Make time for Bible reading and prayer a priority in your day from the very beginning.

3. Reach out to other people.

Be the first to introduce yourself. Talk to the girl who sits next to you in History of Civ. Use your ride in the elevator or your time standing in line to buy books to strike up a conversation.

4. Find a rhythm for your week.

Figure out when you have your dorm room to yourself. Use that time to take a nap or study for that big test. And speaking of studying, figure out when and where you study best. No afternoon classes on Thursday? Designate that time to work on in-depth projects.

5. Get involved.

Join a club. Try out for an intramural sport. Start a study group with kids from your English class.

6. Try new things.

New foods, your roommate’s favorite hobby, an activity you didn’t have time for in high school – if it’s safe and interesting to you, give it a try. This is a great time in life to find out what types of things you enjoy.

7. Ask for help.

You’re not going to know everything. Find an upperclassman who’s willing to help you. Schedule a meeting with a professor. Talk to your resident assistant. Be brave enough and wise enough to reach out when you need help.

8. Develop a large circle of friends.

In the beginning, you don’t know which friendships will go the distance. Tuesdays can be for lunch with friends from Speech class. Thursdays are for afternoon coffee with your suitemates. It’s not likely that you’ll ever be around this many people in your same stage of life again. Enjoy developing these relationships.

9. Call home.

Okay, maybe this one’s a little selfish, but always remember you have a great support system in your dad and me. We’re praying for this to be a great semester of growing into the person God would have for you to be!

What other advice would you give a college freshman? Anything for a college freshman’s mom??

Related posts: