Girls To Grow - Nurturing moms in their walk with God

Saturday Salutes

April 21, 2018 by Tracey 4 Comments

Love this photo from our trip to Boston a few years ago

Brooke says These Are the Things Your Kids Should See You Do.

Kari asks Is Your Daughter Emotionally Ready for Instagram?

I enjoyed the Grit ‘n’ Grace Girls podcast this week on How to Cut the Crazy and Balance Your Digital Life. And Jamie Ivey’s The Happy Hour episode #189 with Tova Sido had me literally crying in the car. Her story is for everyone, but if you’ve ever lost a baby, it will resonate deeply. Her testimony to God’s faithfulness and the way He brought her through many trials blessed my heart.

My husband and I are big fans of Mexican food, so these 5 Ingredient Beef Enchiladas may be coming to our supper table soon!

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

This Is What Our Souls Need

April 18, 2018 by Tracey 5 Comments

Worship.

Does your soul ever thirst for worship? Sometimes it can be the part of our spiritual life that gets overlooked. All too often we come into God’s presence with our list of needs and wants, in a hurry to get down to the business of asking for His help with our problems.

And He certainly wants to bear our burdens, give us guidance, grant us peace.

But how sweet it can be to take time just to be with Him. To set aside the prayer requests, and quiet our minds. To be still. To think about God’s greatness and His holiness, His love and His mercy.

That’s what I needed one morning last week.

One way I like to worship God is to take a Bible verse that’s full of praise, and meditate on it. The verse may talk about His mighty works, or it may describe one of His attributes. In fact, I wrote a whole post about that titled 10 Bible Passages of Praise for Worshiping God. You can read it here.

I also like to worship through music, and that’s what I chose to do last week.

Our daughters’ high school choir sang Only God in the recent state fine arts competition. I’d listened to it several times, and had it saved on my phone. In a quiet moment, I was able to really focus on the words. I was reminded again what a great and powerful God we serve.

Whenever I hear songs like this one, I like to imagine heaven filled with all of our voices lifted in worship. What an amazing sound that will be!

These verses go well with the song below.

“For you are great, and do wondrous things; you alone are God.” ~ Psalm 86:10

“O Lord of hosts, God of Israel, the One who dwells between the cherubim, You are God, You alone, of all the kingdoms of the earth. You have made heaven and earth.” ~ Isaiah 37:16

Here’s a recording of the song. I’ve included the lyrics below the video. [If you’re reading via email, you can click here to view the video on YouTube.]

“Only God can move a mountain; only God can calm the sea.
Only God can heal a wounded spirit–only God, only God!

Only God can hear my heart’s cry; only God my sin atone.
Only God can give us calm assurance–only God, only God!

Only God can be our Refuge; only God can be your Strength.
Only God will stand as our Defender–only God, only God!

Only God is the Power; only God in majesty.
Only God will reign as King forever–only God, only God!

God almighty! Most holy, wise God! You are the power and the glory, O God our God!”

While I’m on the subject, here’s another song of worship I’ve loved for a long time, Holy Is He. [Click here to see the video on YouTube.]

Holy is He and great is His glory
Holy is He and worthy of our praise
I stand in His presence amazed

And crown Him with worship and praise
Holy is He, Holy is He, Holy is He.

Who pardons my iniquities?
Who heals me from within?
Who lifts my fallen life
And sets me on my feet again?
Who leads me like a Shepherd
When I’ve gone astray?
My Lord, my God, my Jesus,
The One I praise today!

Holy is He and great is His glory
Holy is He and worthy of our praise
I stand in His presence amazed
And crown Him with worship and praise
Holy is He, Holy is He, Holy is He.

Who hears me in my loneliness?
Who finds me where I hide?
Who knocks outside my broken heart
‘Til I let Him inside?
Whose life deserves the honor
Laid before His throne?
My Lord, my God, my Jesus,
My Savior and my Own!

Holy is He and great is His glory
Holy is He and worthy of our praise
I stand in His presence amazed
And crown Him with worship and praise
Holy is He, Holy is He, Holy is He.

Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty
All Thy works shall praise Thy Name
In earth and sky and sea
Holy, Holy, Holy, merciful and mighty,
God in three Persons, Blessed Trinity!

Holy is He and great is His glory
Holy is He and worthy of our praise
I stand in His presence amazed
And crown Him with worship and praise
Holy is He, Holy is He, Holy is He!

Holy is He! Amen!
AMEN!

~David Clydesdale, Word Music

Let’s make it a priority to spend some time just worshiping God. He is worthy of all our praise!

Share with me a worship song you love!

Saturday Salutes ~ True Beauty and Overcoming Overwhelm

April 14, 2018 by Tracey 5 Comments

This week I got to attend a national fine arts competition that our girls were involved in. They performed in several events, both individually and with others from their high school. We enjoyed the week – and also enjoyed being back in our own beds last night!

Here’s their upper level band. One daughter plays tenor saxophone, the other alto saxophone.

On to some good posts I found around the web this week.

Marci shares ten helpful questions in What Does True Beauty Look Like?

Kira lists 6 Simple Steps to Overcome Overwhelm.

I like how Lisa breaks down the answer to Am I Doing Work That Will Endure?

Katie has 4 Keys to Discipling Your Kids.

I’ve still got a few years before I become a mother-in-law. And even though I’ll only have son-in-laws, I still think Susan’s 10 Things I’d Love for My Daughter-in-Law to Know About Me will be helpful to remember.

Our 17-year-old is the only one with exciting plans today. She’s taking the ACT test for the first time. Actually, I don’t think she would qualify that as “exciting!”

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

Don’t Let Fear Take You Here

April 11, 2018 by Tracey 5 Comments

Can you identify with the following incident I shared on the blog a few years ago?

Recently I was lying in bed envisioning an upcoming situation with one of our children and letting myself imagine how badly it might turn out. “What if this happens?” or “What if a person responds to her this way?” or “How will we handle this particular outcome?”

I tossed and turned as the possibilities went from bad to worse. Pretty soon I was practically panicked, allowing fear of what might happen to make me a nervous wreck.

Here’s what’s interesting about that story. I could have written those same words last Friday night. Yes, I was basically in much the same boat, just regarding a different situation (one still related to my children, of course!).

A number of times in the Bible, people are told to “fear not.” Maybe that’s because fear is an emotion that’s easy to give in to. It doesn’t take much for most of us to let our imaginations run wild with all the possibilities of bad things that can happen.

I like these words related to battling fear from Melanie Shankle’s book, The Antelope in the Living Room.

“Isn’t that what fear does? It grows and magnifies everything to the point where all rational thought is lost and we can only see the city limits of Worst Case Scenario, which borders Crazy Town.”

In both cases of mine above (plus many more times I won’t mention), that’s exactly what happened to me. Fear crept into my mind. It may have started as a small concern, but I allowed it to totally blow things out of proportion. Not only that, but I was fearful of events and reactions that might not even occur.

Fear can take us lots of places in our minds that we don’t need to go.

One of my favorite Bible verses on fear is II Timothy 1:7.

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

Any feelings of fear we have are not from God. His plan for us is that we trust in Him. His Holy Spirit gives us the power to have peace ruling in our hearts. We can rest in His goodness and faithfulness.

So what do we do when those middle-of-the-night fears start to come? How about meditating on Psalm 34:4?

“I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.”

Pray. God will hear. And He has the ability to deliver us from ALL our fears. There’s not a one that’s too big for Him to handle.

And Deuteronomy 31:6 reminds me that He’s not going to leave me in my fears.

“Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.“

I love that God wants to deliver us from our fears. Isaiah 41:13 says,

“For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.”

If I picture God holding my hand as I face my fear, and hear His voice saying He will help me, I can have the courage I need to send that fear packing.

Our fear will not accomplish anything positive. It will only make us citizens of Crazy Town! Let’s don’t let fear take us there!!

Have you struggled with fear? What helps you get through those times?

Saturday Salutes ~ Recent Pinterest Finds (a book, a recipe, and more)

April 7, 2018 by Tracey 4 Comments

Happy Saturday! Hope your weekend is off to a good start!!

I typically keep a draft post of favorite articles I come across online that I want to share with you on Saturday. However, this week I had nothing saved!

Instead, I decided to share one thing from seven different categories that I saved to my Pinterest account recently.

Book to read: Daughters of the Night Sky by Aimie K. Runyan (recommended by Nikki)

Recipe to make: Chocolate Snackin’ Cake

Post for my teenage girls to read: Christian Girls and Pop-Culture Entertainment

Beauty product to try: Maybelline Brow Precise Eyebrow Pencil

Fun place to take the family: Pigeon Forge Snow

Post to refer back to one year from now: Graduation Party Tips: What Nobody Tells You

Item I may want to add to my closet: Converse Chuck Taylor All Star Stonewashed Low Tops

I stopped in Hobby Lobby on Thursday, and saw this wall hanging that I think might look good over our living room sofa. I don’t make this type of decision quickly, so we’ll see if I get back to the store while it’s still in stock!

It’s a pretty quiet day here, so I’m thinking I’ll get caught up on a little housework. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Parenting Is Not About Making Me Look Like a Good Mom

April 4, 2018 by Tracey 4 Comments

Have you ever parented through a really tough season? Ever been ready to just throw up your hands because you don’t know how to deal with your child?

If so, I’m right there with you!

I currently have two teenagers. You may have a toddler, a seven-year-old, a pre-teen, or one of each. Regardless, we may sometimes need to stop and ask ourselves, “Why am I parenting the way that I am?”

Sometimes I find that I’m not parenting for my child’s sake. I’m not disciplining and discipling them for their own good and for God’s glory. Instead, I’m parenting for other people. I care more about what outside observers think of me as a mom than I do about what’s best for my child and our family situation.

In other words, if I’m parenting so that people will think we have the “perfect” family and that I’m a great mom, then I’m missing the point.

But for me, this can be hard.

I want people to think I’m a good mom. I can get caught up in worrying about how my child’s behavior reflects on me. If she’s obeying, following all the rules while smiling and being respectful, I look like a good mom. On the other hand, if she’s throwing a temper tantrum in the grocery store aisle – or worse, in the church nursery – people will think I’m a “bad” mom.

But our kids are people who are going to make mistakes. They will make poor choices, and sin…just like we do. But if they make those mistakes now, while they’re living in our homes, we can process them together. We can find truth in God’s Word to guide us, and hopefully turn the situation into a valuable life lesson.

The closer I get to releasing teenagers out into the world to fend for themselves, the more I see that it is THE GRACE OF GOD that makes the difference in our parenting.

Are we responsible to train our children to the best of our ability and to set a Christ-like example for them to follow? Absolutely.

But no matter how hard we try, we’re never going to do that perfectly. I’m human. So are you. We’re going to blow it way more times than we’d like.

But God can use even that to show our children that they, too, need to repent and ask forgiveness. Sometimes they’re going to mess up quietly, and hardly anyone will know about it. And sometimes it may be spectacularly, where everyone knows.

In either case, they need to know that we as parents still love them, and are there for them. We walk through the struggle together. So much more important than what other people think is the relationship I have with my child, and the relationship we each have with God.

And one of the best – yet hardest – parts of all this is how God is changing me through parenting. I’ve grown in trusting Him, in understanding grace, in realizing how much I need His wisdom. He gave me my individual kids with their unique personalities for a reason. I believe a big part of that is to show me how weak I am on my own, and how much I need Him to help me on a daily basis.

So here are a few things to remember when we start to focus on what others think of us as a mom.

Be kind to other parents. Most of us are just trying to get this right, and doing the best job we can. Lose the judgment, and be encouraging instead.
Parent your children according to Bible principles. God knows more than anyone else about the best way to teach and train our kids.
Let your kids fail sometimes. Don’t micromanage their lives so much that they never get a chance to learn the consequences that come from making a mistake. Whether it’s forgetting their homework or not turning in that sports form on time, there’s rarely a better way to learn a life lesson than having to deal with the consequences.
Don’t assume you know the whole situation, in your own family or someone else’s. When dealing with your own child, don’t jump to conclusions. Make sure you know exactly what happened. And if you see someone else’s child struggling in some way, don’t assume that the parents don’t know or don’t care. Give grace to that family in the same way you’d want grace shown to yours.
Live honestly and sincerely before your kids. Teenagers especially can spot a hypocrite a mile away. Ask your children for forgiveness when you’ve wronged them. Let them know you face some of the same struggles they do.

As we parent our precious children, may God give us wisdom to do what’s best for them. And may we all grow together in loving one another, and in glorifying God with our lives.

Saturday Salutes ~ An Easter Celebration and the Books I Read in March

March 31, 2018 by Tracey 4 Comments

Joshua Rogers writes My Dad is Finally Celebrating Easter Sunday.

Chantel shares a good list of Books about Intentional Friendship and Community.

Laura asks What Is the Right Way to Handle Teenagers and Dating?

Maryanne made this cute DIY Stenciled Burlap Magnetic Board.

I read four books in March, which is the most I’ve read in one month in quite awhile!

A sweet friend gave me the book Talking with God: What to Say When You Don’t Know How to Pray by Adam Weber. This fit right into my plan for reading books on prayer this year. It was an easy read, written in a down-to-earth style. The book is a great reminder that prayer is simply talking to God. He is our loving Heavenly Father and wants us to come to Him with all of our needs.

More than Happy: The Wisdom of Amish Parenting by Serena B. Miller with Paul Stutzman. Serena Miller writes from her experiences with Amish families as she researched their lifestyle for her fiction books. You’ll find basic parenting principles mixed with a good ol’ dose of common sense. It’s good to be reminded of the importance of family, community, and faith, as well as the value of teaching our children to have self-discipline and a good work ethic.

On our Myrtle Beach trip several weeks ago, my husband and I both read the fiction book Rule of Law by Randy Singer. I’ve enjoyed almost all of his books, and this was no exception.

Murder Is No Accident by A.H. Gahbart is the third book in the Hidden Springs Mystery series. I’ve enjoyed all three of these books as well!

I’ll be preparing our Easter dinner today so that we can just pop everything into the oven when we get home from church tomorrow. It looks like the weather will be beautiful!

May each of us take time this weekend to dwell on all that Jesus did for us on the cross, and then celebrate the glorious victory over death He gained on resurrection day. Have a wonderful weekend!

5 Tips to Keep You from Getting Your Own Way

March 27, 2018 by Tracey 3 Comments

How often do you want your own way? Whether it’s where to go on vacation, how to load the dishwasher, or what time to put the kids to bed, we each like to do things the way we think is best.

That makes us just like the Israelites in the Old Testament.

Each morning I read a Psalm as part of my quiet time. I just go through them in order, then start over when I get to the end of the book. I’m also working through Priscilla Shirer’s devotional Discerning the Voice of God.

One day last week, when the same Psalm I happened to read in my Bible showed up in the devotional section I was on, I figured maybe I’d better pay attention!

It was Psalm 81, and here’s the portion that grabbed my attention. It’s verses 8-16.

Hear, O my people, and I will testify unto thee: O Israel, if thou wilt hearken unto me; There shall no strange god be in thee; neither shalt thou worship any strange god.

I am the Lord thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt: open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

But my people would not hearken to my voice; and Israel would none of me. So I gave them up unto their own hearts’ lust: and they walked in their own counsels.

Oh that my people had hearkened unto me, and Israel had walked in my ways! I should soon have subdued their enemies, and turned my hand against their adversaries.

The haters of the Lord should have submitted themselves unto him: but their time should have endured for ever. He should have fed them also with the finest of the wheat: and with honey out of the rock should I have satisfied thee.

This passage describes the time when God brought the children of Israel out of their bondage in Egypt. When Israel refused to obey Him, God let them have their own way. Needless to say, it didn’t go well for them. They missed so many of the blessings that God had in store for them!

Since we can identify with wanting our own way, I looked for some warnings listed in this passage that we can apply in our own lives.

Keep strange gods out of our lives.

Usually “strange” gods would be those that other nations worshiped, or foreign gods. The Israelites were to be known as a people who worshiped only Jehovah God.

As Christians, I wonder if we often worship the same things our culture does. Are we worshiping the world’s philosophies, their entertainment, their materialism, or their politics?

God wants us to worship Him alone, and to give Him glory for what happens in our lives.

Don’t walk in our own counsel.

If you’re like me, we can get in our own heads and come up with some pretty valid-sounding reasons to do what we want to do. Anytime we have a decision to make, we need to pray and seek Godly counsel, both from God’s Word and from another respected Christian, if needed.

Listen for God’s instruction.

Verse 11 says “But my people would not hearken to my voice…” How are we going to hear God’s voice? Through His Word, the Bible. It’s a simple truth, but we need to read and study our Bible so that we will know what it says and can obey it.

Trust God to give us what’s best for us.

Too often I think I know what’s best for me, but, in reality, I don’t. I don’t see the whole picture like God does, nor do I understand what I need to draw me into a closer relationship with Him. He wants to subdue our enemies and feed us with the finest things, if we will only follow Him.

Realize that true satisfaction only comes as we walk with God.

Our husband, children, friends, ministry or career can’t provide us with what God can. If we’re looking for fulfillment from any of those things, we’re going to be disappointed. God is able to satisfy not only our physical needs, but our spiritual and emotional ones as well.

Here’s my prayer after considering what these verses say.

Dear God, show me any strange gods that are in my life, and help me remove them so that I worship only You. Keep me from walking in my own counsel. Don’t let me have my own way, but help me willingly yield to your guidance.

Let me hear You through Your Word, and then walk in your ways. Feed me in every sense with your best food, and satisfy me daily with your sweetness.

Saturday Salutes ~ Fine Arts Competition and Family Easter Traditions

March 24, 2018 by Tracey 6 Comments

I know it’s been very quiet here on the blog lately! We were out-of-town for two days at a fine arts competition for our daughters, followed by a week of spring break. We spent the first half of this week with my family in Virginia, then had a couple of days to get some things done here at home. This month is flying by for sure!

Both girls were in several events where they and/or their group placed first, so we get to go to the national competition in Greenville in a few weeks. Looking forward to that!

Our daughters in handbell ensemble that won first place (far left and second from right)

Both girls also play saxophone in the band, which won first place.

Here are some helpful posts I’ve found over the past couple of weeks.

Deb shares Why You Need to Seek God’s Help When You Worry.

Lisa tells us How These 7 Things Can Make Your Marriage Better Than Ever.

Kathie gives advice on How to Avoid Coming Unglued with Your Kids.

Ruthie has 8 Meaningful Family Traditions for Celebrating Easter.

I also have a roundup of good Easter posts here if you’re looking for last-minute ideas!

A friend came over for coffee a couple of weeks ago, and I made this Cheesecake Swirl Coffee Cake. I should have sent most of it home with her, because I couldn’t stop eating it!

I plan to be back with a regular post on Tuesday. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

Parenting with a Spirit of Grace

March 15, 2018 by Tracey 5 Comments

Don’t tell my kids this, but when I was a senior in high school, my best friend and I skipped school one afternoon. We went to her house because both of her parents worked, so nobody was at home. We ate some snacks, and watched a movie.

I had to be back at dismissal time to pick up my younger brother, so we were only gone for a couple of hours. But things took a turn for the worse when the school principal called my friend’s house, and she answered the phone. (Not the smartest move when no one’s supposed to be home!!)

I remember a lot of things from that experience, but one of the most memorable is the way my dad handled it. I’m sure he was disappointed that I’d made a poor choice, but there was no shaming or hefty punishment. We talked about it, and he just seemed to believe that I wouldn’t make that same choice again. He was right.

Would he have been justified in taking away my access to the car or denying me some of my other freedoms? Of course. But in my eyes, he gave me grace.

Denny Kenaston, in the book The Pursuit of Godly Seed, takes a chapter to contrast the Old Testament covenant of the law with New Testament grace, and relates them to parenting.

Listed below are just a few of the points he makes as he explains the differences between parenting by law and parenting by grace.

“The spirit of law discourages; the spirit of grace encourages.”

We can be our children’s chief encouragers! Constantly critiquing them causes them to lose confidence, and can keep them from wanting to try new things. And while we definitely have to correct them at times, we can do it in a way that isn’t a personal attack.

I’ve learned that timing is another important key to correction. It’s like the old saying, “Don’t kick him when he’s down.” If he’s had a rough day, it’s okay to wait a little while before addressing a problem.

“The spirit of law is never good enough; the spirit of grace blesses each new step.”

If, like me, you have a bent toward perfectionism, this can be an easy trap to fall into. Your child can feel like they have a hard time meeting the “perfect” standard you’ve set for her. We certainly want our children to do their best, but they are, after all, kids.

This reminds me of another saying, “Praise progress, not perfection.” Find ways that they’re improving or just notice that they’re really trying to do better, and cheer them on.

“The spirit of law criticizes; the spirit of grace gives the benefit of the doubt.”

Assume the best. Look for the good in your child. I think of how awful it would be for me to live under a spirit of criticism, and I certainly don’t want that for my daughters.

“The spirit of law exposes sin and remembers it; the spirit of grace forgives and forgets.”

Try not to bring up the past in a bad way. “You never obey me. This is exactly what happened last week, and you still haven’t learned your lesson.” If you’ve dealt with the previous experience, move on, and don’t refer back to it.

After all, do I want my children to remember the times I’ve spectacularly failed as a mom? Do I want them to remind me of the time when I raised my voice or totally lost my patience? No. So let me give them the same consideration.

“The spirit of law is performance oriented; the spirit of grace is relationship oriented.”

Our love for our children shouldn’t be based on how they’re acting today. It’s not, “I love you (because you’re being good/obeying me/making me look like a good mom).” I want our girls to know that they are loved no matter what.

That means I’m taking the time to listen to them and take an interest in what they’re doing. As long as we have a relationship with our children, we can still have influence in their lives, even as they go through the teenage years and beyond.

So how can we, practically speaking, parent in grace today?

1. Say something encouraging to your child about a specific action he takes or a character trait he displays. (“Thank you for taking your plate to the sink without me asking you.” “I like how diligent you are to put your book bag away when you get home from school.”)

2. Don’t re-do any task they’ve already completed. Just leave it like it is, and thank her for doing it.

3. Assume your child had a good day at school, and don’t ask if he got into trouble.

4. If you need to discipline your child, don’t bring up any past bad behavior in the process.

5. Find one way to show your child how important she is to you. It could be as simple as an extended hug, reading an extra story at bedtime, baking together, or putting a note or special treat in their lunch box.

Rules and discipline are a necessary part of life. But let’s show our children that there’s also love, encouragement, and forgiveness for them in our homes. Just as Jesus has extended his “grace beyond measure” to me, a sinner, so may I live out that grace in all of my relationships.