Girls To Grow

Nurturing moms in their walk with God

5 Questions from the Bible to Ask Yourself Today

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Here we are at the end of June! Our family’s settled into the routine of summer. We’ve got the long, hot days in the South, and there’s sweet tea and watermelon in the refrigerator. (Full disclosure: only one person in our family drinks sweet tea.) Our younger daughter is away at camp this week, so it’s a little quieter around the house.

Recently I’ve enjoyed digging into various questions found in the Bible. Today’s questions are fundamental to our faith, and I hope you’ll join me in asking them of yourself.

1. What will I do with Jesus?

“Pilate saith unto them, What shall I do then with Jesus which is called Christ?“ ~Matthew 27:22

You know the scene. Jewish leaders are demanding Jesus’ crucifixion. Pilate offers to release either Jesus or another infamous prisoner, Barabbas. The people cry for Barabbas to be set free, then Pilate asks the question. What shall I do with Jesus?

The answer the people gave that day is, “Let him be crucified.” Yet we each get to answer as well – not because Pilate is asking us in the heat of the moment, but because it’s the answer to this question that defines our lives.

So what will you do with Jesus? Will you accept Him as your Savior? The crowd that day denied Him as their Messiah. If you’ve already become a Christ-follower, will you serve Him? Will you share Jesus and the love and hope He offers with others?

2. What do I think God is withholding from me?

“He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?” ~Romans 8:32

The heavenly Father who sent His only begotten Son to die for our sins wants to bless us! There is nothing that is good for us that He will withhold. Remember Psalm 84:11? “..No good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.”

If His love for us caused Him to make the greatest sacrifice imaginable, surely He will grant us earthly and spiritual blessings. Everything else pales in comparison to what He’s already given. Just as He gave His Son freely – with no way for us to earn our salvation – so He gives all gifts by His mercy and grace. His gifts are generous and abundant.

So what do you think God is withholding from you? Could it be that what you want wouldn’t be good for you? Perhaps the time is not right for you to have it. But know that a loving God only denies us what’s not best for us.

3. How can I get right with God?

“Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way?” ~Psalm 119:9

This verse gives us an answer! No hypothetical question here. “By taking heed thereto according to thy Word.”

I daresay this applies to anyone, not just a young man. If we want to cleanse our way, have our sin revealed to us, we start with the Word of God. Scripture, applied to our hearts by His Spirit living within, will guide us. And from there, we can seek forgiveness.

So how can we be pure before God? By getting into the Bible and letting the Holy Spirit use it to convict us of our sin and lead us to repentance. It’s easy to neglect this. Holiness doesn’t happen by accident. We have to be watchful and pay attention to God’s Word as it speaks to us.

4. If God is on my side, how can I lose?

“If God be for us, who can be against us?” ~Romans 8:31

Lately, I’ve needed this reminder! Our world can seem like a dark place, yet if we’re walking with God, we don’t need to be afraid. No power is greater, no love is stronger than that of our Heavenly Father.

So what are you fearful of today? Nothing can cause God’s plan and purposes not to be fulfilled. Ultimately His will will prevail and that should comfort us!

5. Does anyone or anything else compare to our God?

“To whom then will ye liken me, or shall I be equal? saith the Holy One.” ~Isaiah 40:25

The verses following that one describe Him as creator, great, everlasting, and strong in power. His majesty and glory are unparalleled. Our God has no equal.

So do you believe there’s anything else that compares to God? Let’s get to know our God and rejoice in Who He is. We can worship Him, knowing that He alone is God.

The song I’m sharing below has been a favorite of mine lately. Its lyrics fit perfectly here.

“Behold our God, seated on his throne
Come, let us adore him
Behold our king, nothing can compare
Come, let us adore him.“

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17 Things I Want My 17-Year-Old Daughter to Know

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It’s crazy to realize that my “baby” is 17!! That’s a lot of years that she’s lived in our house…and a lot of chances we as parents have had to try to share advice and wisdom.

I don’t know how much of it has stuck. We’re all still learning and growing together around here. But today I thought I’d give it another shot with this list of 17 things I want her to know.

Here's a list of 17 things I want my 17-year-old daughter to know as she moves into adulthood

1. You’ll never regret being kind.

At the end of the day, it’s usually not the number of times I was kind that I dwell on. No, it’s those moments when I lost my temper or snapped in anger or said something unkind that I wish I could do over.

2. Ground your life now in God’s Word and prayer.

Developing spiritual disciplines in this period of major life decisions is vital. Getting into the habit as a teenager will serve you well for a lifetime.

3. True beauty begins within.

You like makeup and hairstyle trends and that’s all fun and good. But always remember that real beauty shines through from a kind heart and thoughtful gestures and a love for others.

4. Stay true to yourself.

Don’t change who you are to impress a guy or to fit in with a particular group of girls. Find someone who shares that unusual hobby or enjoys the same genre of books. Be you.

5. Be thoughtful about what you post on social media.

People who know you in real life know your heart. Those who only read your online posts don’t.

6. Conversely, know that what someone posts on social media (or how you interpret it) may not be who they really are.

For better or worse, not everyone is a sum total of their tweets or Instastories.

7. Have truth-tellers in your life who will gently show you your mistakes.

This could be a best friend, a husband, a sibling, or a mentor. But have someone who loves you enough to help you grow into a better person, even when it hurts.

8. Be a lifelong learner.

Always be learning. Have a thirst to know more about God and His Word. Read non-fiction books. See the world from other perspectives than your own.

9. Don’t allow the news media or online influencers to dictate your beliefs.

Think for yourself. Base decisions on truth from Scripture. Don’t just fall for the latest political trends or blindly follow a currently popular teacher.

10. Give grace to others.

Parents, teachers, friends who are figuring out life alongside you – they’re all going to make mistakes, and they need the same grace you’ll want extended to yourself.

11. Make good memories.

Be present with your friends. Plan things to do together that don’t involve your phone. And even join in making memories with your family!

12. Look past a guy’s physical appearance to his character.

Yes, you want the physical attraction to be there, but it’s his character – loyalty, honesty, work ethic, sense of humor – that will make him someone you want to spend a lifetime with.

13. Listen to your body.

Are you sick? Do you need to drink more water? Have you not moved your body in three days? Have you been sleeping enough? Treat your body well ’cause it’s the only one you get.

14. Develop firm boundaries around your entertainment choices.

What types of books will you read and not read? How about the movies you’ll allow yourself to watch? Is there music you need to protect yourself from? Set Biblical guidelines today to guide you. Make decisions ahead of time to inform your choices in the moment.

15. Enjoy life’s simple pleasures.

Never get over a beautiful sunset, a walk on the beach, or the taste of a perfectly ripe strawberry. No matter how much money you make or how many amazing experiences you have, always treasure the simple pleasures.

16. Remember that very few decisions are permanent.

Marriage, yes. But in many other areas, don’t get locked into one thing and never try something new. Want to live in the city? Try it for a year. You can always move back to the suburbs. Really don’t like the career you’re in? Develop a plan to try something new.

17. Leave it all on the field.

So that’s a sports metaphor, but basically I’m saying give it all you’ve got. Do your best in the classroom and on the court and at work. Love well. Put relationships first.

At seventeen, you have some wonderful, exciting, and challenging years ahead of you. You’ve got this!! So proud, thankful, and blessed to be your mom.

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What Martha Teaches Me About Serving God

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With daughters spaced two years apart, I get a front-row seat to what a relationship between sisters can look like. I’m also aware of how their personality differences dictate their responses in certain situations. And whether or not you have children, you probably know people who thrive on serving and others who just immerse themselves in the moment.

That’s interesting to keep in mind as we look at a very familiar Bible story. In Luke 10:38-42, Jesus and His followers visit the house where Mary, Martha, and Lazarus live. In a panic to get everyone served, Martha throws herself into preparations around her home. Mary, on the other hand, sits quietly at Jesus’ feet, listening to Him teach.

Martha is frustrated that her sister isn’t helping her, so she appeals to Jesus, wanting Him to send Mary to assist. However, Jesus gently tells Martha that Mary has wisely chosen to spend her time with Him.

Maybe you’ve considered this before, but are you naturally a Mary or a Martha? I’m totally in the Martha camp. When there are things to be done, everyone needs to join in and get busy. We can all sit down and relax when everything is ready…although not really because then it will all have to be cleaned up!

I’m a doer and a list maker. I think that’s partly because I feel I will earn approval if I work hard and meet expectations. And when I have visitors in my home, I want everything to be just right. Can you relate? I wonder if Martha thought she would win Jesus’ and/or the disciples’ approval by working so hard.

I’ve read whole books that have been written about this story, but today, I have just four ideas that I hope will encourage us all.

Jesus sees us in our busyness.

In verse 40, Mary questions Jesus, asking, Lord, do you care? The answer to that is yes. He saw Martha’s troubled heart. He was aware of the work she was trying to accomplish. God had made her with the desire to achieve. And when we’re overwhelmed and trying to do it all on our own, He sees us, too, and has compassion.

We can get caught up in running around and doing all the things. And they can be all good things! He sees our heart and knows our intent, yet He longs most of all for us to fellowship with Him.

Don’t compare our service to what someone else is doing.

Martha was busy, but not too busy to notice that her sister wasn’t helping! She was in her zone, but she thought Mary needed to step it up and shoulder some of the work.

There’s plenty in the service of the Lord for all of us to do. God’s given each of us gifts that we can use to serve Him. Maybe you can’t sing in the choir, but you love helping in the nursery. Or perhaps you like to organize meals for a new mom or are called to lead a ladies Bible study at church. But let’s not measure ourselves against others, whether to make ourselves feel better or worse about what we’re doing.

Make Jesus the priority, not our acts of service.

What did Jesus say to Martha in verse 41? “And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:“

Martha was focused on the work and all the things that needed to be done. And just like her, if we’re so busy serving that we don’t have time to be with Jesus, we’re too busy. It’s all about our relationship with Him, That’s not grown through serving, but through spending time in His Word and in prayer. We’re not fit for service if we’re not taking time to be with Him.

As we serve, it could also be helpful for us to check our motives. Was Martha rushing around because she wanted to serve Jesus well or because she wanted to impress all these people who were in her home? We can’t know, but I could relate if it was the second motive! It might be helpful to ask ourselves if we’re serving because we love Jesus or so that everyone else will notice our efforts.

Don’t let our service distract us from our worship.

How sweet it is to just be with God. While His followers didn’t know it, Jesus wasn’t going to be with them for years and years, but for just a short time. Being able to listen to, learn from, and worship Him that day was a privilege.

Sometimes we don’t see the value in stillness. With busy schedules, it’s all too easy to rush through our devotional time and fail to really worship the Lord on a regular basis.

I’d love to know how this story ended. Did Martha set aside what she was doing and join Mary at Jesus’ feet? Did Mary eventually get up and help Martha serve their guests? I guess we’ll have to find out when we get to Heaven! But I do know that Jesus invites each one of us to spend time with Him and learn from His Word.

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7 Tips to Help Parents Teach Their Children God’s Word

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As parents, one of the great privileges we have is teaching God’s Word to our children. They soak up so much information in their early years! We can use this time to build a foundation in Scripture for them. I’ve found that the Bible verses I memorized as a child come to mind so much more easily than those I’ve learned in later years!

In Deuteronomy 6:6-7, we’re instructed to diligently teach God’s Word to our children. We’re to do it constantly and give it careful attention. Having a plan makes it more likely that this will happen.

We can be grateful for those teachable moments that present themselves with no preparation on our part. But for all those other times, here are seven tips you might find helpful. (Now that our children are almost grown, I can only say that I wish I’d done these even more!)

1. Play scripture songs.

Make a playlist on your phone, stream children’s songs through a speaker, or just put in a good ol’ cd! When our girls were younger, a couple that we had on repeat were Hide ‘Em in Your Heart Volumes 1 and 2 as well as Cedarmont Kids Bible Songs.

Turn the music on while everyone is getting ready in the morning or while you’re in the car together. Or play it softly in their bedroom as they’re falling asleep.

2. Practice Bible memory verses together.

If your child is learning verses for school or church, take a couple of minutes after a particular meal or at another designated time to have them say the verse to you. You could also write them on 3×5 cards to practice while you’re waiting for an appointment or something else to start. Or keep verse cards in the car and use travel time to practice.

3. Have a scheduled family devotional time.

We had periods of our girls’ lives when we were fairly consistent with this, and at other times, not so much. It worked best to have ours on weeknights right after supper while we were all still at the table.

Family devotions don’t have to be long and drawn out. They can range from reading and commenting on a Bible passage to reading a missionary biography or other book with character-building stories. The Miller Family series was our favorite when the girls were younger.

4. Read a brief Bible story or devotional book together at bedtime.

You can find children’s devotional books for almost every age group. We read through several different Bible storybooks by just reading a small portion to our daughters every night at bedtime. Whether for our children or us, what better way to close our day than by focusing on God’s Word.

5. Connect with your child over what they learned at church.

During the drive home from church on Sundays, we used to ask our girls what they’d learned about in Sunday School and children’s church. When one of our daughters was around 4 years old, she actually lied to us about what the lesson had been about! I saw the paper she’d completed in children’s church, and it was nothing close to what she said they’d learned. I checked with the teacher later, and sure enough, our daughter just made something up. It just struck me as strange that that was our daughter chose to lie about!

Hopefully your conversations with your children about what they learned at church will go more smoothly than that one did!

6. Use Bible verses as you deal with your children and their life situations.

When situations arise that your child needs help resolving, seek to use Bible verses to help them figure out what to do. Whether it’s a conflict with a friend or a need for peace or a bad habit for them to conquer, there’s a Bible verse that addresses it. This also encourages us to know the Bible ourselves so we can direct them to appropriate verses.

7. Let your children see you having your own personal time with the Lord.

You know the old saying, “More is caught than taught.” Allow your children to see you reading your Bible and hear you praying or memorizing Scripture for yourself.

Some of these opportunities have passed for me since our daughters are in their late teens. They’re not around nearly as much, and my bedtime is now way earlier than theirs! So from this side of things, let me say that you will never regret the time you spend helping your children learn more about God and His Word.

If you have additional tips to add to this list, I’d love to hear them!

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4 Questions You Might Have Asked God

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Maybe it’s because the school year is winding down and my daughters have been facing tests and final exams. Or maybe I need more in-person conversations instead of spending so much time at home lately! But I’ve recently been intrigued by questions, especially those found in the Bible.

Two weeks ago I asked how you would answer seven questions that Jesus asked of others when He was here on earth. Today I’m in the Old Testament, looking at questions that people asked of God. And it’s so interesting to me that the questions they asked are the very same ones that you and I likely ask today.

Here are four of them.

Are You really good?

“And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the wicked?…Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” ~Genesis 18:23, 25

Here Abraham is pleading with God prior to the judgment of Sodom and Gomorrah. He knows his nephew Lot and his family are in the city, and Abraham is asking God to spare it for the sake of the righteous people who live there.

I love what this tells me about Abraham’s relationship with God. He asks the question in verse 25 already knowing the answer. He is totally confident that God will do right and will be faithful to what He promises Abraham.

In a conversation just a few verses earlier, God told Abraham and Sarah that they will finally have the son they have waited many, many years for, the one who will become a great nation. The delay in seeing that promise fulfilled has not – at least as he pleads for Lot’s salvation – dampened Abraham’s faith.

I believe that God is good. Do you? Have you experienced it for yourself? It reminds me of Psalm 34:8. “O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.”

Why did this happen?

“And Joshua said, Alas, O Lord God, wherefore hast thou at all brought this people over Jordan, to deliver us into the hand of the Amorites, to destroy us?” ~Joshua 7:7

The children of Israel, after a glorious victory at Jericho, have just been defeated by the small city of Ai. We can read ahead a few verses and see why God allowed it to happen. But Joshua doesn’t yet know about the sin in the camp.

Then there’s Gideon. The Lord sends an angel to tell Gideon the Lord is with him. Here’s Gideon’s response.

“And Gideon said unto him, Oh my Lord, if the Lord be with us, why then is all this befallen us?” ~Judges 6:13

He, like Joshua, is asking why the current situation is the way it is.

And don’t forget Elijah. God led him to a widow to sustain him through a famine. While he’s staying with her, her only son dies. Elijah goes to God.

“And he cried unto the Lord, and said, O Lord my God, hast thou also brought evil upon the widow with whom I sojourn, by slaying her son?” ~1 Kings 17:20

In the case of Joshua and Gideon, we find the answer to the “why” in Scripture. It’s because of sin and God’s judgment that these things have happened. In Elijah’s case, we can read what the widow told Elijah after God breathes life back into her son.

“And the woman said to Elijah, Now by this I know that thou art a man of God, and that the word of the Lord in thy mouth is truth.” [verse 24]

Perhaps the “why” here was to increase this widow’s faith in God and confirm to her that Elijah was His prophet.

Is there any one of us who’s never asked God why? I have, and on more than one occasion. Maybe the “why” is eventually revealed to us or perhaps we never understand.

Here’s where I can run back to Proverbs 3:5, which reminds me to trust God with all my heart and not to lean on my own understanding. That’s all I can do when I don’t understand why. Trust God…and believe God is good (which takes us back to our first question above!)

How long?

“How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?” ~Psalm 13:1

Isn’t that one of the overarching questions in our lives, especially when times are hard? How long until this trial is over? How long do I have to suffer? How long until my prodigal child returns to her faith?

We can usually endure something if we just know the end date. If we’re confident that relief will come in two weeks, we can tough it out. It’s the not knowing how long it will drag on that is mentally stressful. (Truly that’s been one of the hardest parts for me of dealing with the coronavirus and its restrictions!)

I can’t give you a verse that answers this question specifically for you. I do know that God promises not to submit us to temptation longer than we’re able to bear it without an escape. [1 Corinthians 10:13]

And I know that difficulties are a part of life, but they do eventually end. The David who could ask “how long” could also see the joy that follows.

“For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favor is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” ~Psalm 30:5

Who am I?

“And Moses said unto God, Who am I, that I should go unto Pharaoh, and that I should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt?” ~Exodus 3:11

God appears to Moses in the burning bush and tells him that he’s being sent to deliver the children of Israel from Pharaoh in Egypt. Moses doesn’t think that he’s the person for the task!

God’s answer in the next verse? “Certainly, I will be with thee…” That right there, that’s the only qualification Moses needed for the task, large as it was. And that’s the only one we need to do whatever God’s calling us to do.

Who you and I are is precious to God. He knit us together and knows all our thoughts [Psalm 139:2, 15] We are children of God [John 1:12] and the temple of the Holy Spirit. [1 Corinthians 3:16] He has good plans for us. [Jeremiah 29:11] So let’s live today knowing who we are in Christ!

I’m thankful we serve a God who hears our questions and has given us His Word to direct us as we seek answers!

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How My Favorite Bible Verse Relates to Parenting

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How’s parenting life going today?

Maybe it’s a great day. The kids are entertaining themselves and playing well together. They’ve been relatively obedient and no one’s crossing the boundaries you’ve set.

Or maybe your teenager has a bad attitude and doesn’t want to do anything with the family. Perhaps there’s been one argument after another with a child who wants to do the opposite of whatever you suggest.

We all have a mix of those types of days, though to be fair, it does seem like the difficult days outweigh the easier ones sometimes! And no matter the gender, age, or personality-type of child we have, we always need wisdom as we parent.

As I’ve mentioned here before, one of my favorite Bible passages is Proverbs 3:5-6. Today I wanted to take those verses and see how they might apply to our parenting.

Though it's not specifically a parenting verse, Proverbs 3:5-6 gives us wisdom for raising our children.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart.

It didn’t take me long after becoming a mom to realize that trusting myself to parent well wasn’t going to go smoothly. However, that doesn’t mean I haven’t tried to do it in my own strength on many occasions!

If I’d only had one of my children, I’d have been patting myself on the back thinking what a great parent I was. She just has a milder temperament and is easy to get along with. She was one of those who, when she was young, could get teary-eyed if you just gave her a stern look.

But God also gave us a strong-willed child, perhaps to keep me humble. Parenting her has specifically shown me how much I need Him in order to parent well.

There are many ways we could talk about trusting God in parenting, but here are three.

  • Trust Him with the past. We all know there’ve been times we blew it as parents. Ask God for forgiveness, apologize to your child, and move on. God’s grace is there for us and our children.
  • Trust Him with the present. Ask for wisdom as we’re told to do in James 1:5. Every stage of life brings challenges, and what worked with your child before will likely change. Pray, get good counsel if needed, and then walk forward in your parenting having faith that God will guide you.
  • Trust Him with the future. Parent a teenager and you will quickly realize that any control you thought you had was an illusion. You could pick up that screaming two-year-old and take him to his room. That doesn’t work so well when he’s twelve! But God is still able to work in his heart. Every situation our children will face in the coming years can be trusted to God’s care.

Don’t lean on your own understanding.

My “understanding” would include a variety of things. Like jumping to conclusions instead of waiting to hear the whole story. Thinking that my unruly three-year-old will never learn to obey. Worrying about a situation involving my child and giving in to fear about what will happen if I’m not around to step in.

Or it might be thinking that what I want for them (which would include a life of ease and no disappointments) will lead to them becoming the mature adult they should be. But we know our way – the easy way – isn’t really what’s best for them.

It’s probably natural to rely on our own experiences or even our particular desires for our children. But this passage tells us not to rest in how we perceive things. God alone sees the whole picture and knows how to work in the life of our child.

In all your ways acknowledge Him.

“God, I need your help.” That’s a daily prayer for us as we realize our inadequacies as parents. It seems like the longer I parent, the more I see those deficiencies!

Whatever decisions we need to make, regarding discipline or direction or just patience for daily parenting, let’s recognize God as our all-wise provider. We can set a wonderful example for our children as they see us putting Him first…even ahead of them. More than we want to make our children happy we should want to please our Lord.

He will direct your paths.

We’d all agree that we want God to lead us in our parenting journey! For us, one aspect of this has been the Holy Spirit revealing issues to us that need to be addressed in our children’s lives. Our discovering things “behind the scenes” have sometimes led our girls to believe that we find out everything. But it’s God’s grace that has allowed us to spot areas of weakness and then walk through them together.

I’ve found that He will also direct you in letting go. It’s a hard line to walk. At what age do we allow what freedoms? We’re dealing with this in a couple of areas now. I hope (!) I’m learning that as I trust Him fully and acknowledge His authority, He will lead and guide us.

I’m thankful that all of God’s Word is given to us to help us meet our daily challenges and to encourage us in every aspect of our lives!

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How Would You Answer These 7 Questions Jesus Asked?

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Were you one of those students who threw up their hand any time the teacher asked a question? I wasn’t. I usually knew the answer, but I didn’t want the attention that came with having my name called out in class!

Questions make us think. Sometimes we’re confident we know the right answer, and other times, we’re unsure how we should respond.

Today I want to look at seven questions Jesus asked different people during His ministry here on earth. I think they’re questions we can learn from as we consider the answers.

1. “And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?” ~Matthew 14:31

Here’s the story of Peter walking on the water to Jesus. He starts out well, but then his attention turns from Jesus to the boisterous winds and stormy waves and he begins to sink.

I love that the verse says “immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand.” He was right there to catch Peter. But then the question comes to Peter, why did you doubt?

Why do we doubt? God’s Word is full of His promises, and we know that He is faithful. Yet we’re human. And when the trials come, all too often we, like Peter, take our eyes off Jesus and doubt whether He can really come through for us this time.

How thankful I am that God is always there to reach out His hand to us. May our faith be strengthened as we learn to trust Him more.

2. “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” ~Mark 8:36

The answer to this question is simple. Nothing. We could have every single material possession we want, oodles of money in the bank, recognition, fame, and power. But the second we die, if we don’t have Jesus as our Savior, every bit of that is worthless to us.

Yet is that how we prioritize our lives? I’m preaching to myself here for sure. Do I put more time each day into preparing my soul for Heaven than I do accumulating things here on earth? Certainly we have duties and responsibilities that we have to carry out as part of life. But I know that I need to evaluate my priorities and line them up with eternity in view.

3. “And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?” ~Matthew 7:3

Why? Because it’s easier to see what he’s doing wrong than it is to be honest with myself and confront my own faults. Let me begin by dealing with my own issues before I confront someone else with theirs.

How we need discernment to recognize our wrongdoings. It’s yet another reason it’s so important to spend time in the Bible. Scripture can be that mirror that reveals our sin and causes us to repent.

4. “And when he was come into the house, the blind men came to him: and Jesus saith unto them, Believe ye that I am able to do this? They said unto him, Yea, Lord.” ~Matthew 9:28

Two blind men have been following Jesus and asking Him to have mercy on them. Here Jesus asks if they have faith that He can heal them from their blindness. Obviously they do, because in the following verse He says, “According to your faith be it unto you” and He heals them.

Do we believe that God can do far above what we ask or think? [Ephesians 3:20] What is the state of our faith? I know that way too often mine is weak. Yet nothing is impossible with our God.

Our older daughter is taking final exams for her freshman year of college this week. For months before she went away last fall, I prayed for good roommates for her. God answered above and beyond what I could have hoped! Four girls with no drama over six months of living together – what a blessing!

5. “And Jesus stood still, and called them, and said, What will ye that I shall do unto you?” ~Matthew 20:32

Two blind men sitting by the side of the road cry out to Jesus to have mercy on them. Jesus asks, “What do you want?” In the following verse, they answer, “Lord, that our eyes may be opened.”

Maybe their need seems very obvious to us. Yet how would we answer that question? What is our most obvious need? Is that where we need Jesus to step in, or is there something deeper, perhaps a spiritual need? The passage ends by saying that Jesus had compassion on them, and healed them. Praise God for His compassion and the power He has to do whatever needs to be accomplished in our lives.

6. “And Jesus answering said, Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine?” ~Luke 17:17

This is one of my favorite Bible passages because it reminds me of the importance of gratitude. Jesus has just healed ten lepers, and only one has returned to give thanks. He knows the answer to His question here, as do we. The nine were too excited or too busy celebrating or immediately hurrying home to their families to return and thank their Healer.

Being healed from leprosy is not likely our story. But I feel sure we’ve let answers to prayer and specific blessings in our lives pass by without ever going to God and thanking Him. Let’s make it a continual practice to offer praise and gratitude to God for all He does for us.

7. “So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs.” ~John 21:15

We end with a simple one. Do we love Jesus? If so, are we living in a way that demonstrates that we do?

I hope we find ourselves challenged to evaluate our own walk with God as we consider how we would answer these questions!

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5 Things Parenting Is Teaching Me About My Relationship with God

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Heard the saying, “Confession is good for the soul”? So tell me, are you someone who, prior to having kids, said, “My child will never __________!”

I was. And yes, predictably, at least one or the other of my children did nearly all of the things I filled in that blank with!

Parenting has taught me a lot. It’s taught me a little about my children and a whole lot about myself. It’s also opened my eyes to some of the ways God deals with us as His children. Here are five things I’m learning about my relationship with God as I parent my own children.

1. Life is easier when you obey.

We have a strong-willed daughter who had an extended “terrible two’s” season of life. I remember thinking, “Why can’t you see that your life would go so much more smoothly if you’d simply obey?” It wasn’t like we were asking her to do extremely hard things. We had fairly simple requirements. But she liked to test the limits.

As Christians, it can take us a long time to learn that our life is better if we’ll simply obey God. Our way may seem to make more sense. Or we might not like what He’s telling us to do. But, as James 4:7 tells us, we’re to submit ourselves to God.

It’s also how we show God that we love Him. John 14:15 says, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” Isn’t it sweet as a parent when our child does something just to please us? In that same way, our obedience is a way to show our love for and gratitude to God.

2. Growth takes time.

We know this with our children, especially physically. It’s obvious that their bodies are growing as they get older. But it’s also true with our children emotionally. Maturity allows them to handle disappointments and hard situations with more self-control.

In the same way, spiritual growth takes time. If you’re like me, sometimes you may get discouraged and wonder if you really are growing spiritually. Earlier this year, I read the book Spiritual Growth by Arthur W. Pink. He gave detailed insights into ways we can know if we’ve grown spiritually. And while I know I still have many areas to improve, I was encouraged to see that there are some areas in which I’ve experienced growth.

But remember that growth takes time. Every trial we go through, every answered prayer, each temptation overcome, and our time spent in His Word leads to our spiritual growth.

3. Sometimes “no” is the best answer.

When our children ask for something, no is certainly not what they want to hear. Yet sometimes, because we have done more of life and know what’s best for them, the answer to their request is no.

Neither do we want to hear no when we go to God with a request. We’re asking Him for something because we want it. Yet God in His infinite wisdom denies some of our petitions. And that’s another part of our spiritual growth – learning to trust that He knows what is best for us, even when we don’t understand why.

4. Parenting involves sacrifice.

Whether it’s getting up at 2am to feed a newborn or staying up till midnight waiting for your teenager to get home, sacrificing sleep is often a part of parenting. That’s only one example. We choose to make other sacrifices, too. We want to give our children the best of everything, even if that means giving up something we want.

Sacrifices could be financial or they could involve our time. Playing a game, reading books, going for a bike ride, sitting through a piano recital – these are all ways we sacrifice our time so that we can do things with our children.

We have to look no farther than John 3:16 to understand how God sacrificed for us. He gave His only son that we might have our sins forgiven and live with Him eternally. His great love sacrificed what was most precious to Him so that we could be saved.

5. There’s incredible joy in watching our children grow and mature.

We have teenagers. That in and of itself seems to mean that occasionally they’re going to do or say something immature. But there are times when they respond to a situation or make a decision that shows wisdom and discernment. There’s not much else that brings such joy to a mama’s heart!

How pleased God must be when our first reaction to a difficult situation is to turn to Him in faith rather than resort to our own tactics. When another person provokes us, and we respond in love rather than anger, I think that God smiles at how we’ve let the fruit of the Spirit guide us.

I thank God for His grace, His mercy, and His patience as we learn to walk with Him! May we display those same qualities as we parent our own children.

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How Some Geese on a Pond Reminded Me to Trust God in the Middle of a Pandemic

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So I’ve been walking in our neighborhood a lot lately. As in a lot.

One morning last week as I was walking and thinking about all that’s going on in our world – the continued uncertainty and fear related to the coronavirus – I noticed a few geese that were floating out in the middle of one of our neighborhood ponds.

It was a beautiful morning, sunny and a little cool. They were just hanging out together, even social distancing, it appeared. And do you know what those geese were concerned about? Not one. single. thing.

They were just in the moment, enjoying the pond, resting. They weren’t worried about finding supper later or what they would do if their pond dried up one day or focused at all on tomorrow.

Admittedly they don’t have responsibilities like we as humans do. But God made them to just be what they are and do whatever their next thing is. And He provides for them. Psalm 145:15-16 says, “The eyes of all wait upon thee; and thou givest them their meat in due season. Thou openest thine hand, and satisfiest the desire of every living thing.“

Five tips from Matthew 6 to encourage us to keep our trust in God through whatever trial we are facing.

Watching those geese, I was, of course, reminded of the passage in Matthew about God taking care of the birds. Later on, I looked up part of that passage which is in chapter six, verses 25-26.

“Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?”

As I continued to study these and the surrounding verses, I came up with five lessons that I hope will encourage us to trust God no matter what we might be facing.

Have an undivided mind.

Isn’t it interesting how often in this passage we read about “taking thought?”

  • Verse 25 “Take no thought…”
  • Verse 27 “Which of you by taking thought…”
  • Verse 28 “And why take ye thought…”
  • Verse 31 “Therefore take no thought…”
  • Verse 34 “Take therefore no thought…”

As I studied this phrase, it seems that it has to do with the worry or anxiety that comes from having a divided mind. And this makes perfect sense if you look at the verse that leads off this section of Scripture. Verse 25 starts with “therefore.” So what’s the verse before that say?

“No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.“

There it is. Is our mind divided between either loving and serving God or working for what the world has to offer? It’s more difficult to worry when my mind is centered on God and the promises He’s made in His Word.

Know that you are valuable to God.

“Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?” ~Verse 26

You are not forgotten. Who would think birds are particularly worthy of attention? They don’t work, they don’t save up and provide for themselves, but God never fails to take care of them. How much more will He do the same for those He created in His own image?

Remember that God knows what your needs are.

Verse 31-32 says “Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?” …for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.“

Maybe food or drink or clothing aren’t your particular worries today…or maybe they are. Whatever your need is – spiritual, physical, emotional, financial – God knows all about it.

Prioritize spending time with God on a daily basis.

Have you memorized verse 33 at some point? “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

We want to put God first in our lives, and probably the best way to do that is to put Him first in our day. Not that our time with Him has to be as soon as we wake up, but we want to make sure that it’s a scheduled, defined part of our day.

There have been a few times lately where I’ve not gotten up as early as I normally would, and have decided to wait until later in the day to read my Bible. Friends, it’s hard for me to stop and take the time to do it later in the day – even in “quarantine mode!”

For me, early morning works best – though I know some night owls who choose to do it at night. Either way, making Bible reading and prayer a daily priority will help us keep Christ first in our lives.

Focus on today, not tomorrow.

“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” ~Verse 34

Those geese certainly weren’t floating around honking to each other about whether or not they’d be able to find something to eat tomorrow. At the present moment, they had what they needed, so life was good.

If ever there was a time to practice this principle, it’s now. We don’t know when coronavirus restrictions are going to end and how different “normal” will look when they do. But we can live today to the best of our ability.

In the months to come, when we look back on this period of time, may we see how God used it to grow our faith and our trust in Him!

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10 Tips for Communicating with Teenagers

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Judging by the title of this post, you could be led to believe that it’s not always easy to communicate with our teenagers. If it were, we wouldn’t need tips on how to do it!

I’m not an expert in this area. I’m definitely still learning what works and what doesn’t, partly because every teenager’s personality and communication style are a little different. Some teens are much more likely to share their thoughts and feelings, while it takes real strategizing to get another one to open up.

After parenting two teen daughters for quite a while now, I’ve found a few things that could be helpful. Choose a few to try the next time there’s a breakdown in communication!

1. Be available.

The other morning, our 19-year-old toasted a bagel for her breakfast and sat down in our kitchen to eat. Even though I’d already cleaned up the kitchen from my breakfast, I found something else to do in there so I’d be close by in case she wanted to talk.

We obviously don’t put our lives on hold waiting for our teen to speak to us, but conversations won’t happen if we’re not around. If we’re available when they get home from school or their job or when we know they’ll be hanging out near the fridge looking for something to eat, they might just want to talk to us.

(Where I totally fail is in the late-night talks. I’ve heard that many teens open up at the very end of their day, but I just don’t have the stamina to make it much past 10pm!)

2. Don’t ask a lot of questions.

This is somewhat dependent on a child’s personality. We have one daughter who doesn’t seem quite as annoyed by our questions as the other one does.

But we don’t want to come across as an interrogator. That’s been me when they come home from an event. “Who was there?” “What did you eat?” “What else did you do?” I’ve found that if I wait until later, much of that information will actually flow out in normal conversation.

3. Don’t jump to conclusions.

This goes a little bit against number two above, because in certain situations you do need to ask questions to get to the bottom of something. But be careful to hear your teen out. Be direct if you want to know what’s going on, rather than dancing around the subject. I’ve been guilty of this twice recently. You’d think I’d know better by now!

4. Give them a heads up if you’re going to have a difficult conversation.

Both of our daughters seem to appreciate it if I start an awkward or confrontational conversation by letting them know, in a calm voice, that there’s an issue we need to address.

I also try to use the sandwich principle – start and end with something positive. “Thank you for cleaning up after breakfast this morning” or “I appreciate how you’re getting your homework done on time” before launching into the discussion.

5. Don’t raise your voice.

I realize this is naturally easier for some people than others. We’ve never been a family who yells, so I’m not tempted to do this very often. As a teacher, I learned that if I made my voice quieter, usually the students did the same.

Stay calm even if your teen raises her voice. Increasing the volume doesn’t increase the chance of a positive outcome.

6. It’s okay to tell your teen how what she said made you feel.

If your teen says something hurtful, let her know about it…when things have calmed down. Usually, when she’s not caught up in the moment, she’ll realize she was out of line. And of course, apologize if you’ve said something unkind.

7. Figure out what their interests are, and learn enough to talk about them.

Our college daughter developed some new interests during her first year of college – like broom hockey. Maybe your teen has a favorite book series, sports team, or is developing a new hobby. Study up on the subject enough that you can carry on an intelligent conversation with them.

8. Actually listen to what they’re saying so that you can keep the conversation going.

Teens can get frustrated when you ask follow up questions that they’ve already covered in the initial conversation. It shows that you weren’t really listening to what they were saying.

9. Allow them to process their thoughts out loud.

We’ve had some interesting conversations around our supper table over the years. Sometimes teens will come out with crazy thoughts or random ideas. As adults, we can tend to shoot them down because we know it won’t work. But let them talk it out before trying to guide them to a reasonable conclusion.

10. Don’t use trite phrases to make them feel better.

Show empathy. Sometimes the best thing is to just sit with them in their pain. Whatever they’re going through may not get better, at least not for a while.

When our daughter found out last month that she was coming home from college for the rest of the semester, I needed to remember this. I needed to say things like, “I know this is hard. It’s not what you wanted.” At least at first, she needed to feel understood, not rushed to feel that everything was okay.

While I didn’t give this tip a number, it’s the most important one of all! Ask God for wisdom to help you know how best to communicate with your teen. The passcode on my phone continues to be a reference to James 1:5, to remind me that His wisdom is available for the asking.

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