Girls To Grow

Nurturing moms in their walk with God

10 Things That Are Easy About Being a Mother

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There’s a lot about being a mom that’s hard.

Don’t get me wrong. I know it’s a blessing to bring a child into the world. Children bring hope and joy and laughter and show you just how much love you can have for another human being.

But there are parts of being a mom that are hard…

…like giving up sleep. It starts when you bring them home from the hospital as a newborn, and continues through teething, potty training and nightmares. And then it morphs into staying up late as you wait for your teenager to come home at night.

It’s hard to discipline...to decide what offense merits what punishment. You have to set boundaries and then enforce them. And who wants to get up and correct their child for the umpteenth time when you’ve just settled down on the couch?

It’s hard to be patient. You endure one. more. sibling argument. And maybe some days you think you just can’t bear to hear “mom” yelled from the backseat or across the house ever again.

It’s hard to know what to allow when. From sleepovers (what age? only relatives? how much supervision? no sleepovers ever?) to when can I wear makeup/get my ears pierced/go on a date? Your child will often think they’re ready before you do, which can lead to a bit of a debate.

It’s hard to be consistent and stand firm in your decisions…especially if it seems your child is the only one who “has to” or “can’t” do something.

It’s hard to bear the responsibility of parenting, to be concerned about how your child’s doing in their relationships and academics and moral decisions.

Just writing all this out makes me feel tired! It sounds a little overwhelming. But then I’m reminded of the sweet parts – the easy parts – of motherhood.

So what’s easy about mothering?

Check out this list of ten things that are easy about being a mom.

1. Wanting the best for our children. I think every parent instinctively wants their child to have an easy road. We want to spare them from heartbreak and pain. We know that dealing with difficulties is part of maturing, but we do what we can to give our children good things.

2. Being amazed that your child is a unique individual with a distinct personality. Okay, sometimes this throws us for a loop – especially if they’re way different than we are – but it’s a wonderful thing to watch them develop into their own person.

3. Standing up for them. Protecting and defending our children is a natural part of motherhood. It’s also easy to take this too far in some cases…but our mama bear nature and instincts help to keep our children safe.

4. Sharing about our mom-life with fellow moms. Moms always seem to bond over parenting, especially when they’re in similar life stages. Nobody understands us like someone who’s walking through the same things.

5. Being proud of our children. This is especially true when we know how hard they’ve worked to achieve something. Seeing their diligence and perseverance pay off is so rewarding.

6. Connecting over shared interests. Whether it’s a sport they play or one you watch together, it’s fun to have conversations that you’re both invested in. It could also be about a book you both read and loved, shopping at a certain store, or baking a cake together.

7. Praying over them. I find prayer comes most naturally when they’re facing a hard situation at school or struggling in a relationship or driving off in the car alone for the first time. In situations that I can’t control (I guess that would be all of them??!), praying for them comes easily.

8. Listening to them share their hopes and dreams. I want to soak it all in when they give me a glimpse into their heart. Their secrets and confidences mean they trust me with what matters most to them.

9. Laughing with them over something we both think is funny. I love sending my girls memes or jokes or puns – pretty much anything that I think will make them laugh.

10. Loving them. There can be times we don’t like them very much, but our love for our children is never in doubt.

So yes, being a mom can be hard…but the easy parts make it so worthwhile!

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Turning the Corner from Pandemic Pessimism to God-Centered Optimism

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I feel like I’ve turned a corner.

I’m feeling very optimistic about August. I’m not sure why. It potentially holds a lot of change for us, with college and school starting back up. Maybe that’s part of it, though. Life’s looked the same for quite awhile now, so some change might be good!

While getting my hair cut on Friday, I told my stylist that I’m not usually a pessimist, but 2020 has done its best to turn me into one! We had a new roof put on our house last week, so I’m convinced that every tropical storm approaching the Atlantic Ocean is going to morph into at least a category 3 hurricane that will rip a swath of new shingles right off! #atleastIsaiasmostlymissedus

Our coronavirus numbers are looking only slightly better here, but I’m still feeling hopeful. I’ve decided it’s time to count some blessings and settle in to see what happens as fall progresses. Making any kind of plans for the future still seems like an iffy proposition. But maybe now that we’re entering into the sixth month of uncertainty, I’m learning to deal with it a little bit more.

And we can all find blessings – even small ones – that are pandemic related. For example, last week our older daughter flew Delta Airlines from here to Atlanta, then on to Memphis. She texted us about how nice it was to have the middle seat left empty in the three-seat airplane row.

Also, you now have to schedule one of a limited number of time slots each day to go to our neighborhood pool. That means fewer people are there when we go, and everything stays a lot cleaner!

If we just base our current outlook on circumstances, though, we know it could change in a moment. So I’m bolstering my positivity with some Bible verses that remind me that God has it all under control and I can rest in His plan.

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand.” ~Psalm 37:23-24

God orders the steps of our lives. He arranges circumstances and events. As we rest in His care, we can find peace and yes, even joy. Sometimes we’ll face disappointments and failures, yet God is still there to support us through the hard times.

Almost nothing that’s happened in 2020 so far is what I would have chosen. But I can trust that behind the scenes, God is directing it all – and all for my good, and for the good of those I love.

“Blessed be the Lord, because he hath heard the voice of my supplications. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.” ~Psalm 28:6-7

God hears my prayers. I’m weak, but He offers me His unending strength and protection. When I trust Him, He will help me, and I won’t be able to respond in any other way than to rejoice and praise Him.

How simple it is to just ask God for His help, yet how often I fail to do it. If we want to live on the praise side of things, we need to call on Him and trust Him to answer.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.” ~Psalm 46:1-3

That passage about covers it all! God’s present with us in our trouble. He’s the reason we can choose not to be afraid in spite of the craziness that’s going on around us.

“My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.” ~Psalm 62:5-8

I like the word expectation. What if we lived anticipating and looking forward to seeing how God’s going to work as we wait on Him? That would put a positive spin on our days!

And did you notice that it says to trust in Him at all times? Could 2020 be an exception, though? I don’t think so.

“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” ~John 16:33

Jesus wants us to find our peace in Him. At times I tend to look for peace by trying to control circumstances or arrange things so that it will all work out okay and everyone will be happy. The only thing that’s likely to do is cause me stress!

Jesus says straight out that we’re going to have tribulation here. Then He follows that with, “But be of good cheer.” In other words, don’t let it get you down. He is the great overcomer, both through His death that provided salvation and through the final victory He’ll one day win here on earth.

***I wrote the first part of this post on Friday afternoon, wrapped up in my initial positivity about August. By the next day, I realized that Tropical Storm Isaias was probably going to interfere with our older daughter’s return flight last night from her visit to Memphis that I mentioned above. My positivity wanted to fly right out the window!

By mid-afternoon, we assumed her 8:30pm flight from Atlanta to Charleston would be canceled, so my husband went ahead and rebooked her flights for today. But combing through these verses – especially the first one – helped me stay fairly calm about the situation!***

May this month see us trusting God to order our steps, seeking His strength, and finding peace as we wait expectantly on Him!

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How to Keep On Going When Your Faith is Weak

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Last week we spent several days in the Tennessee mountains with my extended family. We stayed in some lovely facilities and had a wonderful time together.

It was definitely nice to get away and be out of our normal routine for a bit. Because lately, I’m finding myself with more questions than answers most days. It seems like we’ve been living in upheaval and uncertainty for such a long time, though I realize it’s actually only been about five months.

Some mornings it’s harder than others to get my mind moving in the right direction, to fully step into faith and not focus on all the “when’s, why’s, and what if’s.”

I’ll just say it out loud. Some days my faith is weak.

Faith is confidently believing what God has said. That sounds pretty easy on the surface.

I like what Matthew Henry says in his commentary on Hebrews 11:1. “It [faith] is a firm persuasion and expectation that God will perform all he has promised to us in Christ.“

On the good days, I know that, and I’m quoting Bible verses and looking up and moving ahead. But other days I’m questioning a bit, and my faith slips. And in case you have days like that, too, here’s some encouragement for all of us.

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” ~2 Corinthians 5:7

There’s the goal. Walk by faith. But is that our reality? Are we living by what we know God has said or are we living by what we see around us?

I see fear and unrest, people and plans that can’t be counted on. Worry seems like a pretty good option. But we can’t make our circumstances the focus. Each day we have to ask God for faith to get through that day. And we have to lean hard into the promises we find in Scripture.

“Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith;” ~Hebrews 12:2

We would have not faith without Jesus. Our faith originates with Him. He’s also the completer of it in our lives, the one who perfects or matures our faith. I can’t grow it myself. I have to allow Him to cultivate it in me.

Christ is the ultimate example of faith for us to follow. Certainly He faced times of uncertainty in His earthy life – even to the cross – yet His faith was constant.

“So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” ~Romans 10:17

We can expect weak faith if we’re not in our Bibles regularly. The news isn’t going to grow our faith. If we’re looking to Facebook or Netflix to strengthen it, we will continue to be weak. The only place to build up our faith is in God’s Word.

“Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.” ~James 1:3

Maybe we could have skipped this verse. That whole “trying of your faith” thing doesn’t sound like something we want to sign up for!

Is your faith being tried? Mine is. Do I have faith that God is working all things together for our good? Or is this all just a mess that we have to muddle through?

Faith leads us to believe that He has a purpose in everything, even COVID-19. It’s not my plan. It’s His. Part of what comes with each trial, if we’ll allow it, will be increased patience

I like this particular dictionary definition of patience – “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.” I could use some of that!

“For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.” ~1 John 5:4

Our faith will lead us to be victorious. Are the times we’re living in unprecedented? In some ways, yes. But God is still on His throne. We know the end of the story. And faith in God will bring us through these days and even prepare us for whatever lies ahead.

“Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?” ~Luke 18:8

Let the answer to this question be yes!! With God’s help, may our faith be stronger today than it was yesterday. Let’s not give in, but press on in faith, especially as we see how faithful our God is to us.

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8 Tips on Making Decisions About Your Child’s Future

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I know I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. What I write about here is often what I’m dealing with in the moment.

There’s a lot of uncertainty about how the coming school year will begin, especially here in South Carolina. We’re having some of our highest numbers of coronavirus cases since all this started, especially in Charleston County, which is where my younger daughter’s school is located. Across the country, many parents are having to make decisions about whether their child will attend school in person, only virtually, or some mix of the two.

Uncertainty is not where I thrive!! In the midst of all the upheaval, it’s the familiar Bible verses that are bringing me comfort. Yesterday it was this one.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11

The God who knows the end from the beginning has peaceful thoughts toward us, not evil ones. “An expected end” is also translated as “a future and a hope.” God has plans and hope for our and our children’s future. (And couldn’t we all use some hope about now??!!) He has a purpose for us as parents and for our children as we walk through unsettling times.

I already know that my high school daughter’s senior year is not going to look like we expected. Even if they have in-person school, I don’t see her cheer squad traveling to games or the fine arts program competing in events. And what if things get worse and, after starting in-person, they switch back to only online learning?

You may be facing different decisions for your child right now, maybe totally unrelated to schooling. But as I try to come to grips with my own current situation, I developed eight tips to help me get started on making a decision. This post is geared toward making schooling decisions, but the tips can certainly be applied to choosing extracurricular activities or determining how old your child needs to be to have certain privileges!

1. Pray for wisdom.

“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” ~James 1:5

Claiming this promise on a daily basis! God has the true wisdom we need to make decisions. No, we won’t find a Bible verse that says, “Choose this schooling option for your child” or “Sign your child up for this activity.” But we can find principles in His Word and ask for Holy Spirit guidance as we pray.

2. Lay out all of the options.

Admittedly, if you’re in a situation like ours, you’re not sure exactly what the options are at this point. But write out the ones you do know. If you choose to homeschool on your own, what programs are available to you? Do you know yet what options the school your child normally attends are offering? You may need to consider any financial implications related to each option as well.

3. Decide what the long-term goal is.

Because our daughter’s planning on attending college in a year, one of our goals is for her to complete a couple of dual enrollment classes. Those will earn her high school and college credit. Maybe your children are younger, and you want them to have a solid math foundation or they need to catch up in a certain subject. Determine what the desired outcome is and look at which choice is most likely to get you there.

4. Don’t let fear decide for you.

Fear can affect our decisions, and usually not in a positive way. There are certainly risk factors to consider. This could be a child going a long way off to college or having your child try a new curriculum or, in today’s reality, catching the coronavirus.

So use common sense. Take your particular situation into consideration. Drill down into what you’re afraid of and then make the call from a place of confidence. Which leads to…

5. Gather helpful information.

Don’t be obsessive about it (a tendency of mine!), but research your options. Be informed. Figure out what the results might look like if you choose one way over another.

6. Get wise counsel from others.

Talk to those who have already made the choice you’re considering or who have direct knowledge of the situation. Don’t listen to every talking head, news pundit, or distant relative who is convinced that if you don’t do it their way, you must be crazy.

7. Base your decision on what’s best for your individual child and your family as a whole.

You know your child better than anyone else does. Some children work well independently. Others need teacher direction or more social interaction. There may not be a perfect fit, but choose what best meets your child’s needs. At the same time, consider how that choice will affect your whole family.

8. Pray for peace.

We’ll start and end this discussion with prayer. Here’s another one of those familiar verses that’s always applicable.

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:6-7

God can give you peace that you’re making the right decision. Take it to Him in prayer, then make your call. And rest in knowing that there are very few decisions that can’t be changed when they no longer work for you!

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6 Steps for How to Pray When We’re Anxious or Afraid

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Prayer.

It’s a spiritual discipline that doesn’t come easily for me. It takes work and time and a still mind and quiet heart. Maybe that’s why I keep coming back to study it quite often – though, if I’m not careful, I spend more time studying it than actually doing it!

As I’m going through the Bible and studying various prayers, I found Jacob’s prayer in Genesis 32 very interesting. He’s headed back home after being away for 20 years. It’s unavoidable that he’ll come in contact with his brother Esau. They didn’t part on the best of terms, shall we say.

He sends a message ahead, hoping to “find grace” in Esau’s sight. His messenger returns and basically says, “Esau’s on his way to meet you and he’s got 400 men with him.”

Jacob was, to quote the Bible, greatly afraid and distressed. [Verse 7] Have you ever been there? I’m sure we all have. Then Jacob goes to God in prayer, the absolute best thing he could do in these conditions.

Let’s look at that prayer and see what we can learn from it to use when we’re afraid, distressed, or just seeking God’s direction.

1. Remind God of His promises.

“And Jacob said, O God of my father Abraham, and God of my father Isaac, the Lord which saidst unto me, Return unto thy country, and to thy kindred, and I will deal well with thee:” ~Verse 9

It’s not like God forgets His promises, but it’s powerful to pray God’s words back to Him. Here Jacob mentions how God was present in the lives of his forefathers. Then he basically says, “I’m doing what you told me to do.” And he points out that God said He would deal well with Jacob as he obeyed.

What a comfort it is to pray the promises of God! One of my favorite promises during these years of parenting teens continues to be James 1:5. If I lack wisdom as a mom (which happens on a daily basis!) and ask God for it, He will give it to me abundantly and without reproach.

What promises of God can you remind Him of today? Isaiah 40:29 says that when we’re worn out, He’ll give us strength. Psalm 23:4 says He’ll be with us when we walk through the valley of the shadow of death. 2 Corinthians 12:9 tells us that His grace is sufficient. There are many more promises found in Scripture that we can use as we pray.

2. Acknowledge our unworthiness.

“I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies, and of all the truth, which thou hast shewed unto thy servant;” ~Verse 10a

Jacob recognizes that he’s not worthy of how God has worked in his life. We can read in previous chapters how he tricked his father Isaac in order to take the birthright that belonged to his older brother Esau. Perhaps we’d agree with Jacob that he wasn’t deserving of God’s mercy.

And yet neither are we. As we come to God in prayer, let’s also come humbly, admitting our own sins and failures.

3. Recognize God’s blessings.

“…for with my staff I passed over this Jordan; and now I am become two bands.” ~Verse 10b

Remember how Jacob left home with, we assume, only what he could carry, considering that he used a pile of rocks as a pillow on his first night out. Yet now he returns to his homeland with a large family, servants, and numerous flocks and herds of animals.

Whether we see our blessings as great or small, everyone of them comes from God. It’s important to be aware of that each and every day.

4. Ask for what we want.

“Deliver me, I pray thee, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau:” ~ Verse 11a

Jacob’s prayer here is pretty basic. Save my life!

Maybe sometimes it feels hard to just come out and ask God for what we want. But that’s a major part of prayer. Right now my husband and our older daughter are shopping for a car for her, and I’m asking God to lead them to just the right one. We can pray for our requests specifically and directly.

5. Admit our fears.

 “…for I fear him, lest he will come and smite me, and the mother with the children.” ~Verse 11b

Jacob tells God what he’s feeling. Yes, God already knows, but Jacob tells Him anyway.

Tell God about your emotions regarding your situation. Are you angry, frightened, annoyed, hurt? Share those feelings with God as you pray.

6. Rest in the promises of God.

“And thou saidst, I will surely do thee good, and make thy seed as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitude.” ~Verse 12

I think Jacob is saying, “God, if Esau kills me and my family, what you said about my seed increasing and prospering isn’t going to happen!” Here he is, once again quoting back to God what He’d told Jacob previously.

What we have to lean on in our prayer life is God’s faithfulness. Because we know He’s true to His Word and because He’s delivered on His promises in the past, we’re confident in trusting Him.

Whatever our needs are today, let’s make time to pray!

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5 Questions from the Bible to Ask Yourself Today

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Here we are at the end of June! Our family’s settled into the routine of summer. We’ve got the long, hot days in the South, and there’s sweet tea and watermelon in the refrigerator. (Full disclosure: only one person in our family drinks sweet tea.) Our younger daughter is away at camp this week, so it’s a little quieter around the house.

Recently I’ve enjoyed digging into various questions found in the Bible. Today’s questions are fundamental to our faith, and I hope you’ll join me in asking them of yourself.

1. What will I do with Jesus?

“Pilate saith unto them, What shall I do then with Jesus which is called Christ?“ ~Matthew 27:22

You know the scene. Jewish leaders are demanding Jesus’ crucifixion. Pilate offers to release either Jesus or another infamous prisoner, Barabbas. The people cry for Barabbas to be set free, then Pilate asks the question. What shall I do with Jesus?

The answer the people gave that day is, “Let him be crucified.” Yet we each get to answer as well – not because Pilate is asking us in the heat of the moment, but because it’s the answer to this question that defines our lives.

So what will you do with Jesus? Will you accept Him as your Savior? The crowd that day denied Him as their Messiah. If you’ve already become a Christ-follower, will you serve Him? Will you share Jesus and the love and hope He offers with others?

2. What do I think God is withholding from me?

“He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?” ~Romans 8:32

The heavenly Father who sent His only begotten Son to die for our sins wants to bless us! There is nothing that is good for us that He will withhold. Remember Psalm 84:11? “..No good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.”

If His love for us caused Him to make the greatest sacrifice imaginable, surely He will grant us earthly and spiritual blessings. Everything else pales in comparison to what He’s already given. Just as He gave His Son freely – with no way for us to earn our salvation – so He gives all gifts by His mercy and grace. His gifts are generous and abundant.

So what do you think God is withholding from you? Could it be that what you want wouldn’t be good for you? Perhaps the time is not right for you to have it. But know that a loving God only denies us what’s not best for us.

3. How can I get right with God?

“Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way?” ~Psalm 119:9

This verse gives us an answer! No hypothetical question here. “By taking heed thereto according to thy Word.”

I daresay this applies to anyone, not just a young man. If we want to cleanse our way, have our sin revealed to us, we start with the Word of God. Scripture, applied to our hearts by His Spirit living within, will guide us. And from there, we can seek forgiveness.

So how can we be pure before God? By getting into the Bible and letting the Holy Spirit use it to convict us of our sin and lead us to repentance. It’s easy to neglect this. Holiness doesn’t happen by accident. We have to be watchful and pay attention to God’s Word as it speaks to us.

4. If God is on my side, how can I lose?

“If God be for us, who can be against us?” ~Romans 8:31

Lately, I’ve needed this reminder! Our world can seem like a dark place, yet if we’re walking with God, we don’t need to be afraid. No power is greater, no love is stronger than that of our Heavenly Father.

So what are you fearful of today? Nothing can cause God’s plan and purposes not to be fulfilled. Ultimately His will will prevail and that should comfort us!

5. Does anyone or anything else compare to our God?

“To whom then will ye liken me, or shall I be equal? saith the Holy One.” ~Isaiah 40:25

The verses following that one describe Him as creator, great, everlasting, and strong in power. His majesty and glory are unparalleled. Our God has no equal.

So do you believe there’s anything else that compares to God? Let’s get to know our God and rejoice in Who He is. We can worship Him, knowing that He alone is God.

The song I’m sharing below has been a favorite of mine lately. Its lyrics fit perfectly here.

“Behold our God, seated on his throne
Come, let us adore him
Behold our king, nothing can compare
Come, let us adore him.“

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17 Things I Want My 17-Year-Old Daughter to Know

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It’s crazy to realize that my “baby” is 17!! That’s a lot of years that she’s lived in our house…and a lot of chances we as parents have had to try to share advice and wisdom.

I don’t know how much of it has stuck. We’re all still learning and growing together around here. But today I thought I’d give it another shot with this list of 17 things I want her to know.

Here's a list of 17 things I want my 17-year-old daughter to know as she moves into adulthood

1. You’ll never regret being kind.

At the end of the day, it’s usually not the number of times I was kind that I dwell on. No, it’s those moments when I lost my temper or snapped in anger or said something unkind that I wish I could do over.

2. Ground your life now in God’s Word and prayer.

Developing spiritual disciplines in this period of major life decisions is vital. Getting into the habit as a teenager will serve you well for a lifetime.

3. True beauty begins within.

You like makeup and hairstyle trends and that’s all fun and good. But always remember that real beauty shines through from a kind heart and thoughtful gestures and a love for others.

4. Stay true to yourself.

Don’t change who you are to impress a guy or to fit in with a particular group of girls. Find someone who shares that unusual hobby or enjoys the same genre of books. Be you.

5. Be thoughtful about what you post on social media.

People who know you in real life know your heart. Those who only read your online posts don’t.

6. Conversely, know that what someone posts on social media (or how you interpret it) may not be who they really are.

For better or worse, not everyone is a sum total of their tweets or Instastories.

7. Have truth-tellers in your life who will gently show you your mistakes.

This could be a best friend, a husband, a sibling, or a mentor. But have someone who loves you enough to help you grow into a better person, even when it hurts.

8. Be a lifelong learner.

Always be learning. Have a thirst to know more about God and His Word. Read non-fiction books. See the world from other perspectives than your own.

9. Don’t allow the news media or online influencers to dictate your beliefs.

Think for yourself. Base decisions on truth from Scripture. Don’t just fall for the latest political trends or blindly follow a currently popular teacher.

10. Give grace to others.

Parents, teachers, friends who are figuring out life alongside you – they’re all going to make mistakes, and they need the same grace you’ll want extended to yourself.

11. Make good memories.

Be present with your friends. Plan things to do together that don’t involve your phone. And even join in making memories with your family!

12. Look past a guy’s physical appearance to his character.

Yes, you want the physical attraction to be there, but it’s his character – loyalty, honesty, work ethic, sense of humor – that will make him someone you want to spend a lifetime with.

13. Listen to your body.

Are you sick? Do you need to drink more water? Have you not moved your body in three days? Have you been sleeping enough? Treat your body well ’cause it’s the only one you get.

14. Develop firm boundaries around your entertainment choices.

What types of books will you read and not read? How about the movies you’ll allow yourself to watch? Is there music you need to protect yourself from? Set Biblical guidelines today to guide you. Make decisions ahead of time to inform your choices in the moment.

15. Enjoy life’s simple pleasures.

Never get over a beautiful sunset, a walk on the beach, or the taste of a perfectly ripe strawberry. No matter how much money you make or how many amazing experiences you have, always treasure the simple pleasures.

16. Remember that very few decisions are permanent.

Marriage, yes. But in many other areas, don’t get locked into one thing and never try something new. Want to live in the city? Try it for a year. You can always move back to the suburbs. Really don’t like the career you’re in? Develop a plan to try something new.

17. Leave it all on the field.

So that’s a sports metaphor, but basically I’m saying give it all you’ve got. Do your best in the classroom and on the court and at work. Love well. Put relationships first.

At seventeen, you have some wonderful, exciting, and challenging years ahead of you. You’ve got this!! So proud, thankful, and blessed to be your mom.

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What Martha Teaches Me About Serving God

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With daughters spaced two years apart, I get a front-row seat to what a relationship between sisters can look like. I’m also aware of how their personality differences dictate their responses in certain situations. And whether or not you have children, you probably know people who thrive on serving and others who just immerse themselves in the moment.

That’s interesting to keep in mind as we look at a very familiar Bible story. In Luke 10:38-42, Jesus and His followers visit the house where Mary, Martha, and Lazarus live. In a panic to get everyone served, Martha throws herself into preparations around her home. Mary, on the other hand, sits quietly at Jesus’ feet, listening to Him teach.

Martha is frustrated that her sister isn’t helping her, so she appeals to Jesus, wanting Him to send Mary to assist. However, Jesus gently tells Martha that Mary has wisely chosen to spend her time with Him.

Maybe you’ve considered this before, but are you naturally a Mary or a Martha? I’m totally in the Martha camp. When there are things to be done, everyone needs to join in and get busy. We can all sit down and relax when everything is ready…although not really because then it will all have to be cleaned up!

I’m a doer and a list maker. I think that’s partly because I feel I will earn approval if I work hard and meet expectations. And when I have visitors in my home, I want everything to be just right. Can you relate? I wonder if Martha thought she would win Jesus’ and/or the disciples’ approval by working so hard.

I’ve read whole books that have been written about this story, but today, I have just four ideas that I hope will encourage us all.

Jesus sees us in our busyness.

In verse 40, Mary questions Jesus, asking, Lord, do you care? The answer to that is yes. He saw Martha’s troubled heart. He was aware of the work she was trying to accomplish. God had made her with the desire to achieve. And when we’re overwhelmed and trying to do it all on our own, He sees us, too, and has compassion.

We can get caught up in running around and doing all the things. And they can be all good things! He sees our heart and knows our intent, yet He longs most of all for us to fellowship with Him.

Don’t compare our service to what someone else is doing.

Martha was busy, but not too busy to notice that her sister wasn’t helping! She was in her zone, but she thought Mary needed to step it up and shoulder some of the work.

There’s plenty in the service of the Lord for all of us to do. God’s given each of us gifts that we can use to serve Him. Maybe you can’t sing in the choir, but you love helping in the nursery. Or perhaps you like to organize meals for a new mom or are called to lead a ladies Bible study at church. But let’s not measure ourselves against others, whether to make ourselves feel better or worse about what we’re doing.

Make Jesus the priority, not our acts of service.

What did Jesus say to Martha in verse 41? “And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:“

Martha was focused on the work and all the things that needed to be done. And just like her, if we’re so busy serving that we don’t have time to be with Jesus, we’re too busy. It’s all about our relationship with Him, That’s not grown through serving, but through spending time in His Word and in prayer. We’re not fit for service if we’re not taking time to be with Him.

As we serve, it could also be helpful for us to check our motives. Was Martha rushing around because she wanted to serve Jesus well or because she wanted to impress all these people who were in her home? We can’t know, but I could relate if it was the second motive! It might be helpful to ask ourselves if we’re serving because we love Jesus or so that everyone else will notice our efforts.

Don’t let our service distract us from our worship.

How sweet it is to just be with God. While His followers didn’t know it, Jesus wasn’t going to be with them for years and years, but for just a short time. Being able to listen to, learn from, and worship Him that day was a privilege.

Sometimes we don’t see the value in stillness. With busy schedules, it’s all too easy to rush through our devotional time and fail to really worship the Lord on a regular basis.

I’d love to know how this story ended. Did Martha set aside what she was doing and join Mary at Jesus’ feet? Did Mary eventually get up and help Martha serve their guests? I guess we’ll have to find out when we get to Heaven! But I do know that Jesus invites each one of us to spend time with Him and learn from His Word.

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7 Tips to Help Parents Teach Their Children God’s Word

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As parents, one of the great privileges we have is teaching God’s Word to our children. They soak up so much information in their early years! We can use this time to build a foundation in Scripture for them. I’ve found that the Bible verses I memorized as a child come to mind so much more easily than those I’ve learned in later years!

In Deuteronomy 6:6-7, we’re instructed to diligently teach God’s Word to our children. We’re to do it constantly and give it careful attention. Having a plan makes it more likely that this will happen.

We can be grateful for those teachable moments that present themselves with no preparation on our part. But for all those other times, here are seven tips you might find helpful. (Now that our children are almost grown, I can only say that I wish I’d done these even more!)

1. Play scripture songs.

Make a playlist on your phone, stream children’s songs through a speaker, or just put in a good ol’ cd! When our girls were younger, a couple that we had on repeat were Hide ‘Em in Your Heart Volumes 1 and 2 as well as Cedarmont Kids Bible Songs.

Turn the music on while everyone is getting ready in the morning or while you’re in the car together. Or play it softly in their bedroom as they’re falling asleep.

2. Practice Bible memory verses together.

If your child is learning verses for school or church, take a couple of minutes after a particular meal or at another designated time to have them say the verse to you. You could also write them on 3×5 cards to practice while you’re waiting for an appointment or something else to start. Or keep verse cards in the car and use travel time to practice.

3. Have a scheduled family devotional time.

We had periods of our girls’ lives when we were fairly consistent with this, and at other times, not so much. It worked best to have ours on weeknights right after supper while we were all still at the table.

Family devotions don’t have to be long and drawn out. They can range from reading and commenting on a Bible passage to reading a missionary biography or other book with character-building stories. The Miller Family series was our favorite when the girls were younger.

4. Read a brief Bible story or devotional book together at bedtime.

You can find children’s devotional books for almost every age group. We read through several different Bible storybooks by just reading a small portion to our daughters every night at bedtime. Whether for our children or us, what better way to close our day than by focusing on God’s Word.

5. Connect with your child over what they learned at church.

During the drive home from church on Sundays, we used to ask our girls what they’d learned about in Sunday School and children’s church. When one of our daughters was around 4 years old, she actually lied to us about what the lesson had been about! I saw the paper she’d completed in children’s church, and it was nothing close to what she said they’d learned. I checked with the teacher later, and sure enough, our daughter just made something up. It just struck me as strange that that was our daughter chose to lie about!

Hopefully your conversations with your children about what they learned at church will go more smoothly than that one did!

6. Use Bible verses as you deal with your children and their life situations.

When situations arise that your child needs help resolving, seek to use Bible verses to help them figure out what to do. Whether it’s a conflict with a friend or a need for peace or a bad habit for them to conquer, there’s a Bible verse that addresses it. This also encourages us to know the Bible ourselves so we can direct them to appropriate verses.

7. Let your children see you having your own personal time with the Lord.

You know the old saying, “More is caught than taught.” Allow your children to see you reading your Bible and hear you praying or memorizing Scripture for yourself.

Some of these opportunities have passed for me since our daughters are in their late teens. They’re not around nearly as much, and my bedtime is now way earlier than theirs! So from this side of things, let me say that you will never regret the time you spend helping your children learn more about God and His Word.

If you have additional tips to add to this list, I’d love to hear them!

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4 Questions You Might Have Asked God

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Maybe it’s because the school year is winding down and my daughters have been facing tests and final exams. Or maybe I need more in-person conversations instead of spending so much time at home lately! But I’ve recently been intrigued by questions, especially those found in the Bible.

Two weeks ago I asked how you would answer seven questions that Jesus asked of others when He was here on earth. Today I’m in the Old Testament, looking at questions that people asked of God. And it’s so interesting to me that the questions they asked are the very same ones that you and I likely ask today.

Here are four of them.

Are You really good?

“And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the wicked?…Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” ~Genesis 18:23, 25

Here Abraham is pleading with God prior to the judgment of Sodom and Gomorrah. He knows his nephew Lot and his family are in the city, and Abraham is asking God to spare it for the sake of the righteous people who live there.

I love what this tells me about Abraham’s relationship with God. He asks the question in verse 25 already knowing the answer. He is totally confident that God will do right and will be faithful to what He promises Abraham.

In a conversation just a few verses earlier, God told Abraham and Sarah that they will finally have the son they have waited many, many years for, the one who will become a great nation. The delay in seeing that promise fulfilled has not – at least as he pleads for Lot’s salvation – dampened Abraham’s faith.

I believe that God is good. Do you? Have you experienced it for yourself? It reminds me of Psalm 34:8. “O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.”

Why did this happen?

“And Joshua said, Alas, O Lord God, wherefore hast thou at all brought this people over Jordan, to deliver us into the hand of the Amorites, to destroy us?” ~Joshua 7:7

The children of Israel, after a glorious victory at Jericho, have just been defeated by the small city of Ai. We can read ahead a few verses and see why God allowed it to happen. But Joshua doesn’t yet know about the sin in the camp.

Then there’s Gideon. The Lord sends an angel to tell Gideon the Lord is with him. Here’s Gideon’s response.

“And Gideon said unto him, Oh my Lord, if the Lord be with us, why then is all this befallen us?” ~Judges 6:13

He, like Joshua, is asking why the current situation is the way it is.

And don’t forget Elijah. God led him to a widow to sustain him through a famine. While he’s staying with her, her only son dies. Elijah goes to God.

“And he cried unto the Lord, and said, O Lord my God, hast thou also brought evil upon the widow with whom I sojourn, by slaying her son?” ~1 Kings 17:20

In the case of Joshua and Gideon, we find the answer to the “why” in Scripture. It’s because of sin and God’s judgment that these things have happened. In Elijah’s case, we can read what the widow told Elijah after God breathes life back into her son.

“And the woman said to Elijah, Now by this I know that thou art a man of God, and that the word of the Lord in thy mouth is truth.” [verse 24]

Perhaps the “why” here was to increase this widow’s faith in God and confirm to her that Elijah was His prophet.

Is there any one of us who’s never asked God why? I have, and on more than one occasion. Maybe the “why” is eventually revealed to us or perhaps we never understand.

Here’s where I can run back to Proverbs 3:5, which reminds me to trust God with all my heart and not to lean on my own understanding. That’s all I can do when I don’t understand why. Trust God…and believe God is good (which takes us back to our first question above!)

How long?

“How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?” ~Psalm 13:1

Isn’t that one of the overarching questions in our lives, especially when times are hard? How long until this trial is over? How long do I have to suffer? How long until my prodigal child returns to her faith?

We can usually endure something if we just know the end date. If we’re confident that relief will come in two weeks, we can tough it out. It’s the not knowing how long it will drag on that is mentally stressful. (Truly that’s been one of the hardest parts for me of dealing with the coronavirus and its restrictions!)

I can’t give you a verse that answers this question specifically for you. I do know that God promises not to submit us to temptation longer than we’re able to bear it without an escape. [1 Corinthians 10:13]

And I know that difficulties are a part of life, but they do eventually end. The David who could ask “how long” could also see the joy that follows.

“For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favor is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” ~Psalm 30:5

Who am I?

“And Moses said unto God, Who am I, that I should go unto Pharaoh, and that I should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt?” ~Exodus 3:11

God appears to Moses in the burning bush and tells him that he’s being sent to deliver the children of Israel from Pharaoh in Egypt. Moses doesn’t think that he’s the person for the task!

God’s answer in the next verse? “Certainly, I will be with thee…” That right there, that’s the only qualification Moses needed for the task, large as it was. And that’s the only one we need to do whatever God’s calling us to do.

Who you and I are is precious to God. He knit us together and knows all our thoughts [Psalm 139:2, 15] We are children of God [John 1:12] and the temple of the Holy Spirit. [1 Corinthians 3:16] He has good plans for us. [Jeremiah 29:11] So let’s live today knowing who we are in Christ!

I’m thankful we serve a God who hears our questions and has given us His Word to direct us as we seek answers!

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