Girls To Grow

Nurturing moms in their walk with God

The 5 Best Books I Read in Spring 2023

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Happy weekend! Do you have anything fun planned?

I think it’ll be fairly quiet around here. My husband and I are on a healthy eating plan for a few weeks. It’s made us realize that most of our outings involve food – and not usually the healthy kind! – so it’s probably best if we stay close to home (and our salads 🙂 this weekend.

Now that we’re sliding into summer, I thought I’d take a look back at the best books I read this spring. This list has two non-fiction and three fiction choices.

Amazon affiliate links are included below. I earn a small commission from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

The top five books I read during Spring 2023.

1. The Greatest of These by J.D. Jones. I’ll start with this non-fiction book which is a compilation of sermons this pastor preached on 1 Corinthians 13. Like me, you’ve probably heard many sermons on this passage, but I found the practical truths he shares here very helpful.

2. All She Ever Wanted by Lynn Austin. Once again, Lynn Austin doesn’t disappoint! This fiction book is the story of three generations of women, the decisions they made, and how those decisions affected the generations after them. It was a compelling read!

3. The Words We Lost by Nicole Deese. I like books about books 🙂 and this story centers on an editor at a publishing house and a missing manuscript. It’s a bit of a mystery and a lot about friendship and loyalty.

4. Lady of a Thousand Treasures by Sandra Byrd. This one is set in the Victorian era and involves a young woman trying to solve a mystery, guard her heart, and save her family’s failing antique business.

5. Chris Beat Cancer by Chris Wark. I also enjoy reading health-related books, and a friend loaned me this one. It’s actually the impetus behind the healthy eating we’re currently doing! After the author had surgery to remove his cancer, he chose natural healing methods over chemotherapy to heal his body. He dives into some of the failures in our current medical system, including the big prescription drug companies, and shares what he did to get healing physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Be sure to let me know if you’ve read a great book recently!

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5 Cell Phone Rules for Your Teens…and Maybe Yourself

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Well, here we are, saying goodbye to May!! The month certainly went by quickly here.

On Saturday, we dropped our 20-year-old daughter off at the Christian camp where she’s working this summer. Now it’s back to the empty nest for my husband and I!

I haven’t delved much into the subject of teens and technology here on the blog. There are certainly lots of opinions around this topic.

For example, what age is right for children to get cell phones (or should they ever get them?) How much time are they allowed to spend on their phones and other technology? What type of oversight should parents have in these areas as their children get older?

I’m certainly not tackling all of that today! But in case it’s helpful for you, I am sharing five rules we had for our children and their cell phones during their teenage years when they lived at home.

We did not do this perfectly. We established several of these rules in the beginning and then added one or two later based on situations that arose. As the first generation of parents to raise kids with so much access to technology, there was definitely a learning curve!

I’m not saying that these rules are foolproof and will prevent your child from ever misusing their phone. They won’t. But they could be a good starting point for conversations that lead your child to set good boundaries for themselves, which is our ultimate goal.

1. No cell phones in the bedroom.

Cell phones were to be used in common areas, like the living/family room, kitchen, and dining room. Exceptions could be made if they were actually using their phone to talk to someone. However, I don’t know many teens who use their cell phones to actually have a voice-to-voice conversation with another person!

2. Cell phones have to be turned off at a certain time at night.

The actual time varied depending on their age. When they first got phones, I believe it was 8 or 9pm. With sports practices and other after-school activities, they usually weren’t getting home until early evening. Otherwise, the cutoff time may have been earlier.

Whatever the designated time was, we set a basket on the kitchen counter where they put their phones and charged them overnight.

3. Family time is phone-free time.

This basically meant no phones at the table, whether we were eating meals at home or out at a restaurant. It would also include other family activities or events.

4. Social media apps on your phone are limited.

Originally we had their phones set up so that we had to approve any app that they wanted to add. We also blocked Internet access on their phones during those early years.

At a certain age, we allowed them to use Instagram. Before we did that, I joined it myself and got familiar with how the app worked. We chose Instagram because it was the one that some of their coaches and other school-related groups used for messaging. They were required to have me as a follower on any accounts that they started.

5. Dad and Mom are your cell phone accountability partners.

We had our girls’ passcodes for their phones as well as their Instagram usernames and passwords. They understood that at any time we had the right to ask to see their phone.

Occasionally, we’d sit down together and scroll through some text messages and/or their Instagram account and browser searches. (Even once they had the Internet, though, we still had filters set to limit what they could access.) More frequently, I would just do a quick check at night or in the morning when their phones were in the kitchen charging.

Keep in mind that, while we didn’t always execute it well, we did have a plan for teaching our girls how to use their cell phones wisely. Restrictions were tight in the beginning. But we wanted to gradually loosen them as our girls matured and showed that they could be trusted to handle the responsibility of the technology.

Once in a while, we had to tighten those restrictions back up for a time or add a new “rule” as things developed. They made mistakes. However, they made them while we were there to discuss those mistakes and hopefully guide them into making better choices in the future. Our goal was that by the time they left for college, they’d have a good understanding of how to use their cell phone as a tool and avoid the pitfalls it could lead to.

One of the greatest teaching tools with technology is the same as in any area of parenting. It’s the example we set. So do we need any of these rules in our own lives?

Do we need to shut our phones down at a certain time at night? Is family time also phone-free time for us? Do we need an accountability partner, whether for how much time we spend on our devices or for the content we’re consuming?

Know that I’m speaking to myself with those questions as much – if not more – than I am to anyone else!

We won’t find a Bible verse that specifically addresses cell phone usage. Yet there are certainly Bible principles that we can apply to the subject. And for today, I’ll leave us with just this one.

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. ~1 Corinthians 10:31

May God give us wisdom to examine our own lives and then to teach our teenagers how to handle this technology in a God-honoring way.

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How to Talk Like a Wise Woman

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Hello! How close are you to being in summer mode? Schools around here finish up in the next week. We’re dropping our younger daughter off this weekend at the camp where she’ll be working for the summer. And of course, Memorial Day is almost here!

At various times on the blog, we’ve talked about being a wise woman. Topics have ranged from ten traits of a wise woman to how she parents her children to how she finds her identity in Christ.

Today we’re going to look into some ways that a wise woman talks. The things she says – and the things she doesn’t say – reveal the wisdom in her heart.

We’ll start with the negative side and see four things that a wise woman doesn’t do with her mouth.

Check out this list of four positive ways wise women can speak along with four negative ways of speaking that would make them foolish.

1. She doesn’t gossip.

A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends. ~Proverbs 16:28

Sometimes we’re seized with the “need” to share something we hear or know about someone else with others. (And typically it’s a rumor that’s personal and/or sensational.) Could it be for the attention we get or that we feel a sense of “power” because we know something others don’t?

Even if the information we have is true, we don’t need to share a person’s private business with anyone else. We can pray for the person involved and be a help to them if the situation warrants it.

2. She doesn’t criticize.

 Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge. ~James 4:11

Isn’t it interesting that this verse is addressed to “the brethren?” These early church believers must have had a problem with criticizing other believers. And I daresay we can have the same issue today.

We won’t agree with everyone, even those we attend church with on a regular basis. There’s certainly a time for a one-on-one conversation if a matter needs to be addressed, but it’s never right to criticize that person to others.

3. She doesn’t inflict hurt with her words.

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. ~Ephesians 4:31-32

If we’ve been hurt by someone else’s words, our initial reaction may be to use our words to hurt them back. However, we need to ask the Holy Spirit for help to respond in a way that is kind and forgiving.

4. She doesn’t brag about herself.

Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; a stranger, and not thine own lips. ~Proverbs 27:2

This one’s fairly simple! A wise woman doesn’t boast about what she has or what she can do. Pride has no place in the life of a wise woman.

Now let’s look at four ways we should use our mouths if we want to be wise women.

1. She offers praise and worship to God.

I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth. ~Psalm 34:1

What will we be doing for all of eternity? Using our mouths to praise and worship God. Let’s get a good start on that now! We can read Psalms aloud, sing along to our favorite hymns, and praise God for His goodness during our prayer times.

2. She prays.

But verily God hath heard me; he hath attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, which hath not turned away my prayer, nor his mercy from me. ~Psalm 66:19-20

Prayer is a favorite topic of mine. It’s our way of communicating with God. In Hebrews 4:16, we’re told to approach the throne of grace boldly. Surely we’re wise when we use our words to pray to our Heavenly Father.

3. She encourages others.

Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do. ~1 Thessalonians 5:11

From her husband to her children, from friends to strangers, she uses her words to lift up others. We can speak comfort in hard times and offer hope and support. Knowing God’s Word allows us to quote Scripture and share God’s promises with others.

4. She instructs her children.

Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul…And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. ~Deuteronomy 11:18-19

What a privilege to be able to use our mouths to teach our children about God! We can tell them about His love, about His care for them, and about how to be saved through the blood of Jesus.

And we get to do it any time and in any place through conversations we have with them. There’s a place for scheduled times of instruction, but let’s also look for those teachable moments that pop up as we go throughout our days.

As we seek to live as wise women walking with God, let’s use our words in ways that honor Him!

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5 Bible Verses to Live by When Parenting Is Hard

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Last Saturday our daughter graduated from college. It was a life milestone and a great accomplishment for her. And it was pretty exciting for her dad and mom, too 🙂

As I’ve reflected on the past 22 years of parenting her, I’ve had lots of emotions. There are so many good memories of family times and vacations, fine arts competitions and ball games, and just the regular ol’ days we did life together.

But woven through the midst of all that were hard days and difficult seasons. There were times I didn’t know what to do or how to handle a situation. Maybe I wanted prompt, happy obedience from her and that wasn’t what I got. Perhaps the direction she wanted to go in didn’t line up with what I thought was best.

Looking back now, I can say two things for sure. God is faithful. And the young woman she is today is not a testimony to my superb parenting skills, but to God’s grace.

So on those days – or weeks or months – when parenting is hard, here are five Bible verses that teach us Bible truths that we can cling to.

1. Don’t give up when it’s hard.

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. ~Galatians 6:9

In context, this verse is not directly written to parents. But if there’s anything that’s worth doing well in life – and that can make us weary!! – it’s parenting.

If your children are anything like mine, then there will be days when you just want to give up. It’s too hard to be consistent in discipline, to set boundaries that are counter-cultural, or to continue to be patient with that teenager who has a bad attitude.

But don’t do it – don’t give up. Persevere. It will be worth it one day.

2. Wisdom is always available.

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. ~James 1:5

We’re not in this alone. What a mess it would be if we were…I mean, it’s still a mess at times, but at least we know who has the answers. We know where to go for help.

And we don’t have to jump through hoops or beg and plead. We simply ask and God gives His wisdom generously and without rebuke.

3. Pray, then pray, then pray some more.

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. ~Philippians 4:6

Every worry, care, and concern can be taken directly to God in prayer. Talk to Him about what’s going on in your child’s life.

There’ve been times as a mom when there was nothing I could do about what was going on in my daughter’s life. It required a change of heart or a certain set of circumstances that only God could make happen. Prayer was my greatest weapon.

4. Trust God’s plan more than you trust your own.

A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps. ~Proverbs 16:9

Our sovereign God has a plan for our children’s lives. And while we want what we believe is best for them, He ultimately knows what is best.

I think what I’ve been learning (notice I didn’t say “have learned 🙂 is to hold my plans for our daughters’ lives loosely. Going back to the two previous points, I need to ask God for His wisdom and pray for His will to be done.

5. Love unconditionally and verbalize it often.

[Charity/Love] Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: ~1 Corinthians 13:7-8

There may be days when you don’t like your child, but you’ll always love them. So tell them. Speak it out loud. Write it in a note or in a text. Say and mean the words, “There is nothing you can do that would make me love you any less.”

Hang in there, sweet friends. While it may look like other parents are breezing through their parenting journey, I think it’s safe to say that we all have struggles sometimes – even when, like me, your children are young adults!

But our God is faithful, and His Word is true, so let’s be encouraged to keep on loving and guiding our children with His help, even on the days when parenting is hard.

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That Day I Tried to Be a Perfect Mom

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I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I overslept and rushed everybody out the door.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I corrected my children with loud, shrill tones instead of gentle words.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I let them eat chips and cookies for breakfast.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I chose cleaning the kitchen over playing with dolls.

I was going to be a perfect mom today….then my daughter talked back and I lost my temper.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I got so busy scrolling Instagram that I wasn’t listening while she told me a story about the cat.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I had to dig through a pile of dirty laundry to find the t-shirt she needs to wear for school tomorrow.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I asked God for His power to grant me self-control, His wisdom to parent my children according to their own bent, His forgiveness for my failure to obey His commands, His grace to guide me through the rest of the day, and His love to shine through me to these children.

Because while I’ll never be a perfect mom, I can be a mom who, with God’s help, loves her children well and points them to our perfect Heavenly Father.

*Adapted from a post originally published in April 2014.

5 Fun Finds for April 2023

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Hello! I’m back with our (mostly) monthly roundup of five things I’m enjoying. This month I’ve also added my favorite fiction and non-fiction reads that I’ve finished recently. Let me know if you’ve tried any of these!

What I'm loving in April 2023

Amazon affiliate links are included below. I earn a small commission from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

1. Revlon One-Step Volumizer Plus 2.0 Hair Dryer and Hot Air Brush. I haven’t used this myself, but my younger daughter owns it and loves it…and her sister’s been known to borrow it 🙂

2. Ethereal Makeup Organizer Bag. I recently replaced my old and very small makeup bag with this one and I like it a lot! The bottom section unzips and has slots to store your makeup brushes. It’s the perfect size for the makeup products I use on a regular basis. (I have the black and white striped one which doesn’t seem to be available right now. The black one is also nice and there are several clear options.)

3. 2mm Sterling Silver Big Hoop Earrings. I bought these in silver for my younger daughter. They seem to be good quality and are available in different sizes and finishes.

4. S’mores Cookies. My younger daughter made these when she was home for Easter break and they were SO good! In fact, I made some myself a couple of weeks later!

5. How to Edit Your Wardrobe for the New Season in 5 Easy Steps. You’ve probably already transitioned into spring clothes by now, but this is a very helpful article that you can use any time you want to clean out your closet.

I also wanted to share the best books I’ve read lately. In non-fiction, it’s The Greatest of These by J.D. Jones which is a compilation of his sermons on 1 Corinthians 13.

And this is one of her older books, but Lynn Austin’s All She Ever Wanted was one of those novels that I didn’t want to put down!

Let me know what you’ve discovered lately that you love!

Complaining: Is It Really That Bad?

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Hello, friends! It’s May, which means a busy month if you’ve got a graduation or end-of-the-school-year festivities, plus there’s Mother’s Day and Memorial Day! I hope you find something good to celebrate this month.

Before we get into today’s post, let me remind you that, as is often the case, I write from a place of weakness. I usually share what I’ve been studying or something that I need to work on in my own life. So as we break down complaining today, please don’t think that I’ve mastered this. I’m a work in progress!

Isn't complaining just one of those acceptable sins? Let's look at Philippians 2:14-16 and decide.

Here’s the passage I was studying last week that led to today’s post.

Do all things without murmurings and disputings:

That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world;

Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither labored in vain. ~Philippians 2:14-16

Verse 14 basically tells us that we’re to do everything without complaining or arguing. We can look at that in a couple of different ways.

It could apply to how we respond to God. Whatever instruction we find in His Word or whatever we believe His Holy Spirit is leading us to do, we should do cheerfully and without hesitation.

It could also apply to how we respond to our circumstances and to other people. Are we often complaining about what’s happening in our lives and/or quarreling with someone any time we don’t agree with them?

That verse pointedly says, “Do all things…” Yes, we know that “all” means “all,” as in every single thing.

But let’s get practical. Does that mean I’m supposed to stand in the checkout line at the store (which I chose because it looked like the shortest one, but now the other lines are moving much faster) and not complain about how long this is taking? I would say “Yes.”

The reason that I titled this post the way I did is because I think we just accept complaining as a natural part of life. Doesn’t everybody complain? Or maybe it’s just me!

Complaining usually boils down to discontentment. It’s an attitude of the heart. And isn’t all complaining ultimately against God?

So let’s answer these questions. Is complaining really that bad? Why is it important that we not complain, that we’re not argumentative? Verses 15 and 16 answer that question for us.

1. We’re to be blameless/innocent.

We want our thoughts to be pleasing to God. Our inner attitudes need to be right so that our outward actions will also be right.

2. We’re to be harmless/inoffensive.

We want to live a life before others that is pure and sincere. We don’t want to purposely annoy or insult someone.

There may be times when we speak the truth in love and that truth is offensive to an unbeliever. But that’s not our purpose or goal.

3. We’re to be a testimony by what we say and how we live.

Paul encourages us to “shine as lights in the world.” The example we show in daily living should be one that stands out in a good way. Our sweet spirit and grateful heart can reflect a peace and joy that others notice.

4. We’re to share the gospel.

We’re also to be “holding forth the word of life.“

Who wants to hear what you have to say about a Savior when you’re constantly complaining about work or your spouse or your kids? If the smallest thing sets you off and you immediately start to argue, is that unsaved observer going to want the faith that you say you have?

If we agree that complaining is wrong, then we need a solution to the problem.

Let’s change our complaining into gratitude. Do you remember another verse that has a similar phrase to “all things” in it?

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. ~1 Thessalonians 5:18

Just as we’re to do all things without complaining and arguing, we’re also to give thanks in everything.

So here’s a challenge to myself, and maybe you’ll take it as well. The next time we start to complain, let’s change that thought and those words into something we can be thankful for. Instead of complaining, make the effort to look for what’s good in that moment.

As E.M. Bounds said, “Gratitude and murmuring never abide in the same heart at the same time.“

With God’s help, we can complain less (or not at all!) and be grateful more.

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5 Ways that We Can Show Grace to Others

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Welcome to this last blog post for April!!

Are you excited that it’s almost May? We’re on a countdown to our older daughter’s college graduation in a couple of weeks. I’m so looking forward to making the trip down to Florida to spend time celebrating with her!

Something I used to do at the start of a new year was to choose a word for that year. I’d try to meditate on my word as I went through the next twelve months, looking for all the ways I could apply it in my life.

One year, the word I chose was grace. I wanted to make sure I recognized God’s grace in my life every day. But I also wanted to focus on showing grace to others.

What exactly did that look like? I needed a plan to put that into action.  Here are five ideas that I came up with to help me show grace to other people in my life.

Check out this list of five ways that we can show grace to other people in our lives.

1. Have compassion.

“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering….”  (Colossians 3:12-13) 

I don’t know what a fellow mom or another sister in Christ is going through. I haven’t walked in her shoes, or dealt with her challenges or limitations.  Asking God to help us see the needs in the lives of those around us will allow us to reach out with compassion and support.

2. Don’t compare. 

“.…but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” (II Corinthians 10:12b) 

I’ve written before about releasing ourselves from the comparison trap.  We can be tempted to compare ourselves to others in a way that makes us feel better about ourselves.  Grace keeps us from looking down on others while elevating ourselves.

3. Give without expectations. 

Whether it’s time, money, an act of service, or an actual gift, let’s give cheerfully, expecting nothing in return.

4. Extend to others the benefit of the doubt. 

If we don’t understand someone’s actions or attitude, let’s not jump to conclusions or speculate on their motives. In other words, “Put the very best construction on the actions of others.”

5. Willingly take second (or third or fourth) place. 

“Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another…” (Romans 12:10) 

Grace can be evidenced by genuine humility in putting others’ needs ahead of our own. Our human nature leads us to selfishness and a desire for personal recognition. But with the help of the Holy Spirit, we can set aside our pride and lift up other people.

Just as we want others to show grace to us, let’s extend that grace to those we’re around today.

Can you think of other ways that we can show grace to others?

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5 Ways a Wise Woman Walks with God

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Hello! It’s a beautiful, cool spring morning as I write this and I’m looking forward to getting outside for a walk in the next few minutes. And yes, if you’ve looked at the title of today’s post, you’ll see that walking goes right along with our topic!

What does it mean to walk with God? I actually answered that question in a previous post 🙂 But I would say it’s how we live on a daily basis, the habits we form, and the mindset we embrace. It’s fellowshipping with God and going in the same direction as He is. By studying His Word, we learn what His commands are and we live in obedience to them.

In the past, we’ve looked at different things about a wise woman – how she treats her husband, how she parents her children, and how she finds her identity in Christ, to name a few. Below I’ve listed five ways that a wise woman walks with God.

Let's look at what it means to walk with God and study five Bible verses that tell us how we ought to do it.

1. Humbly.

He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? ~Micah 6:8

A wise woman realizes her own limitations. She acknowledges that whatever she accomplishes is all because of God. None of us can be the wife, mother, daughter, friend, employee, or whatever other position we hold in our own strength and power. As we walk with God, we set aside our pride and self-sufficiency and rely on Him.

2. By Faith.

 (For we walk by faith, not by sight:) ~2 Corinthians 5:7

A wise woman trusts God. She’s learning through reading and studying His Word and by personal experience that He is faithful.

Is this difficult? Yes! We want to see before we believe. But we can ask God to give us the confidence to believe His promises and to live by them.

3. In the Spirit.

This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. ~Galatians 5:16

It’s natural to walk in the flesh. We want to do our own thing without considering what God would have us do.

Because Jesus is our Savior, we have God’s Holy Spirit living within us. He uses God’s Word to convict us of sin and to show us how to live. As we yield our hearts and minds to Him, we can choose to do right and turn away from our fleshly desires.

4. In Light.

If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. ~1 John 1:6-7

A wise woman desires to walk in freedom from sin. Because Jesus died for us, we have forgiveness of sin and can be free from its power over us. However, we still have to daily make the choice not to sin.

David’s prayer in Psalm 119:133 is a great one for us to pray for ourselves.

Order my steps in thy word: and let not any iniquity have dominion over me.

5. In Good Works.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. ~Ephesians 2:10

Just to be clear, we’re not doing good works to earn salvation. But God created us and He saved us, and He has a plan for us so that we might serve others and bring glory to Him.

May we each look at our lives and see if we’re growing as wise women who are walking with God!

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How to Pray for My Strong-Willed Child

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Sitting around the supper table recently, my family was discussing some memorable “misbehavior moments” from when our girls were younger.  It took me back to those early days of training and correction when it sometimes felt like nothing was working!

We often hear the term “strong-willed child.”  I would certainly say we have one that fits into that category!  I like this definition from Aha! Parenting.com.

“What exactly is a strong-willed child? Some parents call them “difficult” or “stubborn,” but we could also see strong-willed kids as people of integrity who aren’t easily swayed from their own viewpoints. Strong-willed kids are spirited and courageous. They want to learn things for themselves rather than accepting what others say, so they test the limits over and over.

They want desperately to be “in charge” of themselves, and will sometimes put their desire to “be right” above everything else. When their heart is set on something, their brains seem to have a hard time switching gears. Strong-willed kids have big, passionate feelings and live at full throttle.”

While we need to consistently pray for all of our children, sometimes those we would classify as strong-willed drive us to our knees more often than the others. Below, I’ve listed eight ways we can pray for those children in particular, as well as ways we can pray for ourselves as we guide them.  (I’m using the female tense here since I have daughters, but feel free to substitute “he/him” if your strong-willed child happens to be a boy!)

Here are eight ways we can pray for our strong-willed child...and us moms who parent them!

1. Give me wisdom to parent this child.  James 1:5 promises that God will answer this prayer!  I certainly need wisdom to know how to handle the daily struggles that come when she continually wants her own way, right then, no matter what.

2. Draw her to Yourself in salvation early in life.  Our ultimate desire in training our children is to have them be willing to submit their will to God’s.  As they yield their hearts to Jesus Christ in salvation, His Holy Spirit will begin to work in their lives. 

3. Help me to be firm in setting boundaries.   We get tired, and it’s so easy to cave in and just let her do what she wants.  If you’re like me, you just want peace in your family!  Every issue doesn’t need to turn into a power struggle (which is why I need wisdom), but when I take a stand, I need to see it through.

4. Channel her strong will into courage to stand up for what’s right.  Help me see the positive potential in her determined nature.  Use her to be a voice for those who are weaker, and to do great things for the cause of Christ.

5. On those days when I’m exhausted from the constant power struggles, remind me to find my strength in You.  Psalm 22:19 says, “But be not thou far from me, O Lord: O my strength, haste thee to help me.”  God can give us the help and strength we need for each day.

6. Grow her desire to obey.  So often that’s what it’s all about – obedience. Recognize and praise those times when she actually does do what she’s asked without a fight!  As we teach her to obey authority she can see and hear, that will hopefully lead to her obeying God and His Word.

7. As I parent her, show me how often I put my wishes and desires above Yours, so that I may repent.   I’ve learned more about myself through parenting my children than I ever dreamed I would!!  I’m not nearly as patient and easygoing as I might have thought I was before.  Often, God uses situations with my children to show me my own lack of self-control and sinfulness.

8. Even when it’s hard and I’m frustrated beyond belief, let me demonstrate Your love toward her.   Romans 5:8 tells me that even when I was steeped in my sin, Christ loved me enough to die for me.  No matter how unlovely she is in her moments of rebellion, I can allow the fruit of the Spirit to show love through me to her.

God has placed into our homes exactly the children He wants us to parent.  May we seek His help through prayer every day to train those children in a way that brings Him glory

*This was originally published in February 2017. I’m happy to report that my strong-willed child has grown into a delightful young woman.

You can also check out My Family Prayer Journal which is a printable PDF to help guide you as you pray for your children.

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