Girls To Grow - Nurturing moms in their walk with God

Saturday Salutes ~ Life Update and Spring Decor

March 23, 2019 by Tracey 3 Comments

The last two weeks have been full, fun, and a little exhausting!

I was able to spend a couple of days in Savannah with my husband on a work-related trip. The weather was beautiful, and we had a great time exploring the historic district (i.e. lots of walking, a bit of shopping, and some good eating!!)

I was home for a day, then headed to Columbia, SC for two days with my daughters at their school’s state-wide fine arts competition.

With their small instrumental ensemble…my daughters are the two on the right.

They placed first in band, handbell choir, handbell ensemble, and choral group, so they’ll be headed to the national competition in a few weeks.

This past week was their spring break, and we spent the first half of the week in Virginia visiting my family.

As I’ve mentioned a time or two (ha!) it’s my older daughter’s Senior year. I can’t believe that she’ll be entering the final quarter of her high school career this week. I know these next two months are going to fly by!!

On to several good posts I’ve found lately…

Jordan tells us How to Effectively Share Your Faith with Your Friends.

Ruth shares Six Words My Husband Needs to Hear.

Find 6 Solutions to Screen Problems at iMom.

I enjoyed Rachel Joy’s Modern Farmhouse Spring Living Room Tour.

Chelsea shares a Simple Spring Tablescape.

And Potato Chip Toffee??? Yes, please!

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

Are You Communing or Consuming?

March 13, 2019 by Tracey 4 Comments

Earlier this week, my daughters asked me if I could pick up some Talenti gelato from the grocery store. They wanted the Mint Cookie Crunch flavor. (I think they chose that one because they know their dad and I don’t like mint-flavored ice cream, which meant they would have it all to themselves!)

Of course, the store had Caramel Cookie Crunch (which is what I’d have chosen for myself), Old World Eggnog, Sicilian Pistachio, and Almond Butter and Honey, among others….but no Mint Cookie Crunch. I didn’t want to choose a flavor they didn’t like, so I left the store without it. There were too many choices and I didn’t want to make the wrong one!

(The story did have a happy ending for them; I ran into another store later and found the flavor they wanted.)

We’re faced with many choices every day. From what to eat for breakfast to what to wear to which driving route will have the least traffic, it can be overwhelming.

We also make spiritual choices on a daily basis. And many of those boil down to whether we want to be God-focused or world-focused.

This quote from Ann Voskamp in her book One Thousand Gifts is what got me thinking this way.

“Communion with God, what was broken in the Garden, this is wholly restored when I want the God-communion more than I want the world-consumption.”

The pull of the world around us is strong. We have to make a conscious choice if we want to experience communion with God.

I’m reminded of Colossians 3:2 which says, “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.”

Affection is a fondness for or attachment to something. And “set” is a very definite word. The fact that we’re told to “set our affections” must mean it’s easy for our affections to wander. But “set” means you’ve chosen what you want to be attached to, and you’re moving in that direction. It’s a focused mindset that’s not easily changed.

We will want the God-communion more when we feed that part of ourselves. Digging into His Word, meditating on it, and memorizing it will grow our desire to be like Him.

On the other hand, if we feed the world consumption, that is the desire that will grow in us. We’ll want more material possessions or recognition and status even though we know those things can’t satisfy us.

It’s so easy to get roped into placing all of our eggs in this one basket of the temporal, of what we can see and touch right now. It’s much harder to live with our future eyes and see what matters most.

God-communion takes time. It’s like any other relationship. We don’t just have to be sitting down and reading our Bible all day. Listening to sermons or podcasts that challenge us spiritually, playing good music, going to church or a Bible study, and reading books that teach Biblical truths can all be a part of our time with God.

This communion also means getting rid of known sin in our lives and asking God to reveal any unknown sin. The Holy Spirit can take the Word of God and apply it to our hearts and lives. It’s a daily work of God, not of me. It’s allowing Him to use every little circumstance, every seeming interruption, to mold me into His image.

Consumption means that we’re just consuming, using up what the world offers us. In the end, it’s all gone because it doesn’t last.

Communion is intimate fellowship. It grows and becomes greater the longer we do it. After all, we will spend eternity communing with God and other believers.

So you know what we’ll never regret? Choosing communion. But it’s not one and done. If we choose communion today, that doesn’t mean we’ll never have to struggle with consumption. It’s a daily, sometimes an hourly battle.

We may have to ask ourselves questions such as these. Even if what I’m consuming isn’t sinful, is it drawing me closer to communion with God? Or, on the other hand, is it distracting me from Him and pulling me towards the world?

So let’s make a choice today to choose communion over consumption. May our hearts be drawn to God and focused on all that He has in store for us as we follow Him.

7 Tips for Making Each Day Your Masterpiece

Joy at the End of the Journey

Saturday Salutes ~ Recipe Edition

March 9, 2019 by Tracey 4 Comments

It’s fine arts season here for the next month! Our daughters will be at a state fine arts competition with their school next week. They had a concert Thursday night so parents could see their performances ahead of time.

Our girls are in a number of events, including a saxophone/clarinet ensemble. If you’d like to hear what that sounds like, I’ve uploaded it here. (It is rather long, by the way…) I’ll share more of their performances later.

I guess I was hungry while I was putting together this post because I kept gravitating toward sharing recipes. By the time I had three of them, I decided to make it all about food this week!

I put this Crockpot Chicken Noodle Soup in the slow cooker Sunday morning, and we had it for lunch after church. It was really good!

I’m going to be making this Mexican Street Corn Salad soon, though I’ll adapt it for the stovetop instead of using the grill.

These Pizza Sausage Balls look like a fun party (or anytime!) food.

Almost all of my favorite sweet flavors are in these Peanut Butter Chip Brownie Cupcakes.

No one else in my family eats broccoli, but I still think I might make a pan of this Broccoli Cheddar Chicken and Rice Casserole all for myself!!

If you’ve tried a good recipe recently, let me know what it was! Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

Just Say No or Let It Go? Limiting Conflict with Your Teenager

March 6, 2019 by Tracey 4 Comments

So maybe you have the perfect teenager. Maybe he or she does everything you ask them to do with a smile and a sweet attitude. Perhaps they never question why they aren’t allowed to do something, or are required to do something else. If that’s the case, you don’t need this post, but I’d certainly like to know your secret!

Admittedly some children are easier to parent than others at any stage. But when you mix a strong-willed child with their growing bid for independence, it can be natural to have disagreements.

Don’t get me wrong; we have good daughters. But we occasionally have different ideas about what they are and aren’t allowed to decide for themselves in these teen years.

And with every parenting post these days, I feel like I need to offer a disclaimer! I’m just a mom of two teenage girls who’s tried different strategies and found this one helpful in our current season. Our girls aren’t perfect children, neither are we perfect parents. Your mileage with this strategy may vary!

This idea comes from the book Inside the Teenage Brain by Sheryl Feinstein. She tells parents to write down the top ten sources of conflict or tension with your teenager. In other words, what do you disagree about the most?

Once you have your list, put each of the ten items into one of three groups.

We need to establish a firm boundary here.
We can negotiate.
We can let this go.

Obviously the goal is to not have all ten items go under number 1!

Every family is different, so what you would put under number 1 will be different than what we would put there. And items may even change categories as our children mature.

You establish a firm boundary with those things that are most important to your family. They’re your Biblical convictions, your family values. This becomes a valuable teaching tool, because you’ll likely get the chance to explain to your teenager why these are so important to you. (And that’s best done in advance, not in the heat of a conflict!)

For example, attending church regularly with the family is a “number 1” item for us. We also have firm boundaries around our girls’ cell phone usage. Does that mean they’ll never have an issue with church attendance or their cell phones? No. But those are examples of areas in which we’re trying to teach them discipline and self-control.

Then there are issues that are negotiable. You and your teenager start with two different viewpoints. You discuss what each side wants or expects, then agree to a solution you can both accept. This is a helpful skill that your teen can carry with them into future relationships!

We might negotiate on things like hairstyles or color; what household chores have to be done, and when; and our younger daughter is currently negotiating for a hedgehog, but she hasn’t convinced us yet!!

Things you choose to let go are those that, in a sense, you just decide aren’t worth the conflict. Yes, you could be on them about every little thing, but that can make for some long, discouraging days.

Things we’ve let go include making our girls have a scheduled bedtime, keeping their rooms neat on a daily basis, and checking behind them to see if their homework is done. Those just aren’t battles I’m willing to fight.

I also noticed that a few of those items I’ve let go actually have natural consequences built in. The shirt you wanted to wear is dirty because you left it in a pile on the floor instead of in the laundry basket? Oh, well. Guess you’ll be wearing something else today. Get a bad grade in Science class because you didn’t turn in an assignment? Hopefully you’ll get the next one done in time.

Now that our oldest daughter is 18, we’re allowing her to make more and more decisions on her own, though there will always be a few non-negotiables if you’re going to live in our house.

The point is I can find 22 things to nag my girls about every day. But that doesn’t contribute to peace in our home. And every time they see me coming, I don’t want them to wonder what I’m going to get on them about now. I want to have many more positive and encouraging conversations than negative ones.

In the end, you’ll experience a lot more conflict if the boundaries you do set aren’t grounded in an actual relationship with your teenager. I’ve heard it said that rules without relationship equals rebellion. If your teen knows you love them and truly want what’s best for them, it will make walking through the conflicts a little easier.

I don’t have fully grown adult kids yet. Maybe some of you do, and have your own tips for handling conflict with teenagers. I’m learning as I go here, and would certainly love to hear your advice. I’ve still got a few years of parenting teens left!

Saturday Salutes ~ Joy-Stealing Mindsets and Strong-Willed Children

March 2, 2019 by Tracey 2 Comments

March is here, y’all!! This year is going by way too fast!

It was a quiet week around our house. My husband was in cold, snowy Minnesota, so it was just the girls and I at home. Next week, though, is a different story. Our daughters have their first two soccer games as well as a fine arts concert at school. Looking forward to all of it!!

Here’s what I found share-worthy this week.

Laura proclaims I Am a Homemaker.

Mary Ann says Some Kids Are Simply Born Strong-Willed.

Stacey shares 7 Mindsets That Might Be Stealing Your Joy.

Michelle tells us Who God Says You Are: 17 Scriptures About Our True Identity.

If you’re looking for some new podcasts to listen to, check out Karin’s list of The Absolute Best Christian Podcasts for Women 2019.

And speaking of podcasts, Episode 235 of the Don’t Mom Alone podcast was especially helpful for me this week. Marissa Henley, a cancer survivor herself, shares tips on Supporting a Friend with Cancer.

Should you want to update your spring wardrobe, you might want to check out The Main Street Exchange. I ordered three skirts from them recently, and I liked all of them!! Their Willow Olive Skirt is a nice basic, and I know I’ll get lots of wear from their Anna Skirt. The Nicole skirt seems to run a little small, but it’s SO comfortable!! Both the Nicole and Anna skirts are lined, and appear to be really well made. One of my daughters also has their Kyra Denim Skirt. [Not a sponsored ad, by the way; just wanted to share this company!]

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

3 Questions to Ask Ourselves When We Wonder if What We’re Doing Really Matters

February 27, 2019 by Tracey 4 Comments

Maybe it’s something about this time of year.

I seem to fall into a pattern in which all my days look similar. There’s nothing particularly exciting going on at the moment. It’s just the routine, the same ol‘ same ol‘.

I understand that this isn’t everyone’s story right now. Some of you may be in the midst of really tough circumstances. Others might be experiencing great victories.

But in the ebb and flow of life, I’m fairly certain we all hit spots where it doesn’t seem we’re accomplishing much. Maybe we’re not seeing spiritual growth in our lives. Perhaps a ministry or a career or homeschooling isn’t panning out like we thought it would. Could be that our days are just filled with taking care of little kids, going to appointments, or answering the office telephone.

As I thought about what we can learn from these times, I came up with three questions we can ask ourselves.

Am I choosing faithfulness?

“He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much…” ~Luke 16:10

“Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.” ~1 Corinthians 4:2

Faithfulness. It’s not a flashy, hip, exciting word. It’s just steady dedication and commitment.

But it’s important because the majority of life is not lived on the mountaintops. Mostly it’s going through the daily grind, and just choosing to be faithful. There’s no pumped-up soundtrack or big fanfare to push you on. It’s just doing what has to be done, doing the next thing.

Am I living with a spirit of gratitude?

“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” ~1 Thessalonians 5:18

In these seasons of ordinariness, it can be easy to compare. “Look at what she’s accomplishing.” “Well, if I had those advantages, I’d be getting ahead, too.”

But that verse above tells it’s God’s will for us to be thankful. In the mundane, the exciting, the challenging, and the just plain hard, we’re to give thanks.

“And let the peace of God rule in your hearts…and be ye thankful.” ~Colossians 3:15

Am I trusting God’s providence?

We are where He has placed us today. Yes, we’ve each made choices of our own. Yet ultimately, God is in control.

Life may not be as glamorous as we would like. We may be serving when we want to be served. It may look like piles of laundry, filing your taxes, or driving two kids to different sports practices.

While the following verse is used often, it’s still true. “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” ~Romans 8:28

Job asked about God, “Doth not he see my ways, and count all my steps?” [31:4] Isaiah says, “The Lord of hosts hath sworn, saying, Surely as I have thought, so shall it come to pass; and as I have purposed, so shall it stand:” [14:24]

Trusting God’s guidance in our lives involves a surrender to His will, even when it doesn’t match up with our plan. He is always working, whether we see it or not.

This is encouragement I need today. I hope it is for some of you, too. When we’re stuck in one of those days/weeks/months where the little that we’re doing doesn’t seem to matter, let’s remember to be faithful, be thankful, and trust God to use our efforts for His purposes.

“Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.“ ~1 Corinthians 10:31

Saturday Salutes ~ Cheer Competition, Chocolate Donuts, and the Books I Read in February

February 23, 2019 by Tracey 6 Comments

Last Saturday was a fun, successful day!

The girls’ school varsity basketball team got third place at the state tournament. (Our daughters are the fourth and fifth players from the right, number 1 and number 2.)

Since our older daughter’s a senior, it was her final game, so it was nice for her to finish with a win!

Then our younger daughter competed with the school cheerleading squad in their state competition, and they got first place!! (In the second picture, she’s fifth from the left.)

Here she is in the middle of the other two sophomores on the squad.

If you want to watch the performance, I uploaded it here. In the first stunt, my daughter’s the flyer in the back. She’s in several of the stunts; I don’t know how she does the one where she falls straight back and the other girls catch her. Don’t think I’d ever reach the point where I was confident enough that they’d catch me!!

And now both daughters have started practicing with the girls’ soccer team at school, so we’re off and running to the next season.

On to some good posts from the past week…

Elizabeth shares the meaning of God’s name as Our Dwelling Place.

I love the list of phrases Kari shares as she encourages us to Impact Teenagers by Speaking Life.

Ashley lists Top 10 Things Kids Want from Their Parents.

I got a doughnut pan for Christmas, so when Nikki shared a link to these Triple Chocolate Donuts, I knew I wanted to try them!

I finished six books this month!! I was pretty excited about that!

Here are three non-fiction books I read.

Give Them Wings: Preparing for the Time Your Kids Leave Home by Carol Kuykendall is probably the best book I’ve read on preparing yourself for the empty nest. She included lots of practical examples, and assured readers that ultimately you will make it through the transition, and things can be great on the other side! Part of the book emphasized balancing expectations, which I really need help with (as evidenced by this week’s post). I’d recommend this book for any parent with a child in their last two years of high school or later.

Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage: 12 Secrets for a Lifelong Romance by Greg and Erin Smalley is one of the best marriage books I’ve read in awhile. It’s full of practical ways to keep your marriage on track.

Abide in Christ by Andrew Murray was thought-provoking and encouraging! I marked and underlined a number of passages. Know that it was originally published in 1895, so it’s definitely written in more of an old English style. I like that it was arranged in 31 short chapters, so I tried to read one each day of the month. He digs deep into what it means to abide in Christ by studying John 15 from many different angles.

I also read three fiction books.

Fatal Trust by Todd M. Johnson was a very entertaining legal mystery, one of my favorite genres at the moment.

The Domino Effect by Davis Bunn was about the investment banking industry and a world financial collapse, but I’m afraid that much of it was over my head!

I liked Elixir by the same author much better. It dealt with the pharmaceutical industry, but there was a lot less technical information and more action in the storyline.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

One Expectation That Can Damage Any Relationship

February 20, 2019 by Tracey 4 Comments

Do you ever deal with unrealistic expectations? I’m afraid I would have to raise my hand here.

What exactly is an expectation? The Oxford dictionary says it’s the strong belief that something will happen.

We just experienced a holiday that often causes people to have expectations. Maybe someone expects flowers or chocolate (or both!!) or a fancy dinner out when Valentine’s Day rolls around.

Or maybe the expectation is to that you won’t do anything for each other – and then you’re surprised when something really nice happens!

Unfulfilled expectations have been a problem for me at times. But there’s one expectation that I hadn’t really thought about having until I read this quote.

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” ~Donald Miller

I don’t think I would ever have said out loud that I expect anyone here on earth to be perfect. But the more I thought about it, I realized that maybe I do.

As with most things, I start with those closest to me, the ones who live in my house. Do I expect my husband to read my mind about how I’m feeling today? Do I think he’s going to always think, do, or say exactly what I think he should?

How about my children? Do I expect that they will never make mistakes? Am I totally surprised when they respond with a bad attitude or don’t keep their room as neat as I would like it?

If I put these expectations on my family, I’m going to be frustrated on a daily basis. And I’m definitely going to have a hard time liking them!

This can extend to our friends or our coworkers. We think, “Well, she let me down because she didn’t do this or remember this.”

If we can let go of what we expect of other people, the perfection we think they should have (or should at least be striving for!), we have a greater chance of liking them. I want to like these people! I want to appreciate my family, my friends – even strangers I meet – for who they are without piling my expectations on top of them.

I need to quit expecting them to never hurt my feelings, to always read my mind, to always do things my way.

We’re humans. We’re going to disappoint each other. And I certainly hope that no one is waiting around for me to be perfect!

I actually found this Donald Miller quote in Kay Wyma’s latest book, Not the Boss of Us: Putting Overwhelmed in Its Place in a Do-All Be-All World. Kay takes it in a whole different direction. She says this about his quote. “...I think we can quickly agree with [it] – until we make ourselves the subject of that admonition. As in ‘When you stop expecting [yourself] to be perfect, you can like [yourself] for who [you] are.'”

Do you expect yourself to be perfect? Again, I don’t think this is something we would think to express, but perhaps in some way we do.

If we know Jesus, our desire is to do right as we follow Christ and have the Holy Spirit’s help. But when our sin nature wins, as it will, we can be so hard on ourselves.

When we spout angry words or lose our patience or miss an opportunity to minister to someone, we can beat ourselves up. And while we need to ask forgiveness, and make it right, we can also accept the fact that we’re not going to attain perfection here.

Each time, hopefully, we grow a little more and learn to be more Christ-like. But that same grace we extend to others can trickle down to ourselves.

And maybe it’s not even a sin we’re talking about here. Maybe we forgot to pack that note in our child’s lunchbox or missed sending a birthday card to a relative or even just burnt supper.

It’s okay. We’re going to mess up those things, too.

So in the future, I want to work on releasing any expectations I’ve put on others to be perfect…and give myself that same gift.

10 Simple But Powerful Pieces of Life Advice

5 Ways to Show Grace to Others

Saturday Salutes ~ Joy in Marriage and Hospitality

February 16, 2019 by Tracey 7 Comments

In an ongoing tradition, we spent last weekend in Myrtle Beach. We’ve been taking this “winter weekend getaway” as a family for years now. We tend to eat at the same restaurants and do the same activities every year…which may sound boring, but is actually lovely, because there are few decisions to make! We mainly spend time relaxing.

Lisa tells us 6 Ways Your Child’s Misbehavior Makes You a Better Parent.

Ayanna tells us How to Find Joy When Marriage is Hard.

This is an older post, but I needed to hear what Jennifer shares in Hospitality: Overcoming Obstacles.

Amy shares 6 Steps to Finally Get Your Digital Photos Organized.

I’m not normally a big fan of banana bread, but this Dark Chocolate Banana Bread (with Coconut) might change my mind!

We have a full day today. The varsity basketball team that our girls are on plays in their state tournament – and our younger daughter also has her state cheerleading competition at the same location. Looking forward to watching our daughters compete!

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

The True Purpose in Prayer ~ And Why It May Make Us Uncomfortable

February 13, 2019 by Tracey 6 Comments

Do you have a prayer list?

I’ve shared the template for my monthly family prayer list before. I also keep a list of current requests for other family, friends, or needs that I want to talk to God about.

Most of the time when you and I pray, we have an outcome we want to see. It may be that someone gets well, that God opens a door, closes a door, mends a broken relationship, or meets a financial need. The list could go on and on.

As I was reading R.A. Torrey’s book How to Pray, the following line stuck with me.

“The true purpose in prayer is that God may be glorified in the answer.”

So as we bring every concern, fear, hope, and desire to God in prayer, beyond all else, we should want God to be glorified.

If we have a self-centered purpose or wrong motive behind our request, it is highly likely that our prayer will not be answered. Remember what James 4:3 says?

“Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.”

In every request I make, my main desire should be that – no matter how God chooses to answer – He will be glorified.

What’s sometimes hard to accept is that God may be glorified by allowing us to continue in our trial, our sickness, our financial trouble, or dealing with our difficult child.

In our humanity, we don’t know the outcome that will bring the most glory to God. We have to trust that God will accomplish that goal as we surrender to Him.

Here’s a personal example. Our 18-year-old daughter will be heading to college in August. This month I started specifically praying for her roommates. I’m asking that God will put in her room girls that she can become good friends with. I’m praying that they will get along, and that she’ll make many happy memories with these girls during her freshman year.

But I have to admit that God, knowing what is best, could potentially give her a roommate that’s hard to get along with. Maybe their personalities will clash. Perhaps one of the girls will disturb everyone else by staying up super late or being noisy when she gets up early.

(Admittedly I have flashbacks to a roommate during my junior year who would set her alarm clock at some extremely early hour, then hit snooze over and over and over. She could – and did – sleep through it, but it woke me up every. single. time. Mercifully she got transferred to another room for the second semester. Not that I’m still bitter over that, ha!)

Maybe God would be glorified by my daughter learning to live with a difficult person. Perhaps God knows she’ll experience more growth if she has to deal with some frustration.

Will that be easy for her (or her mom)? No. But I need to understand that whatever the outcome of the roommate situation, the ultimate purpose is that God would be glorified.

“Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but unto thy name give glory, for thy mercy, and for thy truth’s sake.” ~Psalm 115:1

So maybe we need to say it out loud or write it in colored ink at the top of our prayer list.

Lord, as you hear the requests I make, may You be glorified in every answer.

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