Girls To Grow - Nurturing moms in their walk with God

Saturday Salutes ~ Prickly Teens and Audiobooks for Kids

November 10, 2018 by Tracey 7 Comments

My younger daughter (on the left) and her friend before their Veterans’ Day program at school yesterday.

Katie lists 8 Ways to Live a Simpler Life as a Christian Mother.

Elizabeth says My Prickly Teen is Teaching Me New Ways to Love. If you don’t have a teenager yet, trust me when I say you may want to save this post to refer to later!!

Tricia shares How to Truly Love Your Middle Schooler.

I realized anew how much I take the Bible for granted after reading Rachel’s article on Two Secret Churches in North Korea Show How Powerful the Bible Really Is.

If you have a road trip coming up, you may want to check out Anne’s list of 40 Favorite Audiobooks for Kids.

My plans for today include going on a breakfast date with my husband, then taking one of my daughters shopping for basketball shoes. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

Only Three Pennies Left

November 6, 2018 by Tracey 6 Comments

In spite of the title above, this blog post has very little to do with money! But I love a good object lesson, and I wanted to share this one with you today.

Last week I was listening to Eryn Lynum talk about her book 936 Pennies: Discovering the Joy of Intentional Parenting on a podcast episode of Family Life Today.

She shared the story of when she and her husband dedicated their little boy to Christ during a service at their church. The pastor gave each of the families a jar filled with 936 pennies.

He explained that each penny represented one week of their child’s life from the time they were born until they turned 18. At the end of each week, the parents were to remove one penny from the jar. This visual aid was to remind parents of the passing of time and to encourage them to be intentional in how they spent the weeks they had with their children.

As Eryn finished the story, I thought about how our jar would look if we’d been given 936 pennies when our oldest daughter was born.

Right now, there’d be only three pennies left.

It's hard to believe, but our time of hands-on parenting with our oldest child is almost over.
Yes, in just over three weeks, our oldest daughter turns 18.

That’s hard for me to fathom. To visualize a big glass jar, once full of pennies and heavy to lift, now basically empty.

Admittedly, she’ll still be living in our home for another nine months, until she goes off to college. But looking back, I have to ask myself, “How have I spent the last 933 weeks?”

There’s lots of good to look back on. There are certainly also those mom moments that I’m not proud of. Hopefully, those will fade from both her memory and mine.

I have to wonder at this stage if she’s caught the most important things, what really matters in life. And I wonder if I’ve lived before her a Godly example she can follow.

So while I’m taking a moment to look back, there’s room for all of us to look forward.

How many pennies are left in your child’s jar? Maybe you’ve only taken out a handful, perhaps it’s half full, or maybe, like me, the jar is almost empty.

Regardless of how what your jar looks like, you get to choose how you parent today.

Let’s remember the overall lesson here. Be intentional in our parenting. For whatever time you have left with your child in your home, purposely decide what’s most important to you that they learn. Keep the list small, and refer to it often. Maybe it’s simply five things, that could look something like this.

~ God loves you.

~ Character counts.

~ Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

~ Attitude is everything.

~ God is always good.

These are just some of my ideas, but you can come up with your own list. What are the values you want your child to have ingrained in their heart when you pull that last penny out of the jar? Make your times of discipline, the teachable moments, every meaningful interaction with your child tie back to one of these principles.

Instead of mindlessly letting the weeks go by, we want to seize the opportunity to train and guide our children in the way that they should go.

And while there are only three pennies left in our oldest daughter’s jar, I’d like to think there’s something else in there. It’s the unseen grace of God that’s covered each day of her life. For even if I’d tried to seize every moment of every week, I’d still have things I wish I’d done better or lessons I know I should have taught her.

But praise God, it’s not all up to me. God’s grace covers those weeks when I lost my temper or was too lazy to grab that teachable moment. It was also His grace that allowed me to connect with her heart and share truths from God’s Word.

And when there’s only an empty jar left, He’ll continue to work in her life. As for me, I’ll continue to pray for and influence her in the best way I know how.

So let’s visualize our jars of pennies and look for ways to be intentional in our parenting. Then remember to thank God for His grace that covers it all.

Saturday Salutes ~ Alleviating Stress and Thanksgiving Tradition Ideas

November 3, 2018 by Tracey 4 Comments

We took our girls to the fair on Monday night. We hadn’t been to the fair in years! The highlight for the girls was the rides, and for my husband and I, it was the funnel cake!

Cambria has 20 Simple Ways to Alleviate Your Stress.

Deanna shares Thanksgiving Tradition Ideas Your Family Will Love.

Elizabeth asks, Having a Bad Mom Day? Here’s 7 Things You Need to Tell Yourself.

Victoria gives tips for Drawing Close to God During the Busy Season of Motherhood.

I’m excited to read Myquillyn Smith’s new book Cozy Minimalist Home. I’ve heard her talking about the book on several podcasts lately, and it sounds like a practical, helpful home decorating book (especially for the decor-challenged like me!) I rarely buy actual books anymore (I rely on my library or my Kindle), but I think I’d like to have this one to keep. Here’s an excerpt about learning the art of having a cozy home with less stuff.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

How’s Your Memory? 4 Benefits of Recalling God’s Work in Your Life

November 1, 2018 by Tracey 6 Comments

A few weeks ago, I had a day full of a long list of errands to accomplish.

My final stop was the grocery store. I’d made a list of ten to fifteen items I needed. I’ve learned the hard way that if I don’t have a list when I go to the grocery store – even if it’s for five things – there’s a huge chance I’ll get home and realize I forgot the key ingredient I needed to make supper.

Excited that I was almost ready to go home, I grabbed a grocery cart and headed to the back of the store. About halfway to the dairy section, I realized I’d left my list in the car. At this point, I was too focused on just getting done to walk all the way through the store and back to the car to retrieve my list.

I decided to rely on my memory – a risky proposition, for sure! After I checked out and put my bags in the car, I looked over my list still lying on the front seat. Thankfully, I actually remembered the most important things, and only forgot stuff I didn’t need till later. I have to admit to being pretty proud of myself that day!!

Just as God commanded the Israelites, we also need to remember what God has done for us in the past.

The reason I’m talking about remembering things today is because of a verse I noticed as we ended our Sunday School lesson this week. We’ve been studying Gideon, and Judges 8:34 tells us what happened right after he died.

“And the children of Israel remembered not the LORD their God, who had delivered them out of the hands of all their enemies on every side.”

One of God’s frequent commands to the Israelites in the Old Testament was for them to remember what He had done for them. Remember means to bring something to mind, or to think about it again.

In the book of Deuteronomy alone, God specifically told His people at least nine times that they were to remember what He did in bringing them out of Egypt. (If you’d like to look those up on your own, here are the references – Deuteronomy 5:15, 7:18, 8:2, 8:18, 15:15, 16:3, 16:12, 24:18, 24:22.)

Surely if God was that insistent on the Israelites remembering what He had done for them, He would want us to do the same. I found five verses in Psalms to encourage us in this area.

“And they remembered that God was their rock, and the high God their redeemer.” ~Psalm 78:35

God is my rock and my redeemer. He is firm and unchanging, and I can always depend on Him. Reflecting on any of God’s character traits will lead me to praise Him.

“Remember his marvellous works that he hath done; his wonders, and the judgments of his mouth;” ~Psalm 105:5

Reflecting on His works and His wonders also causes me to praise Him. Whether it’s studying the miracles of the Bible or looking back at the wonderful ways He’s shown Himself mighty in my own life, I can recognize that whatever I’m currently facing is no match for an all-powerful God.

“I have remembered thy name, O LORD, in the night, and have kept thy law.” ~Psalm 119:55

I love how this verse mentions remembering the Lord’s name in the night. If you’re like me, and sometimes have trouble sleeping, what better way to comfort yourself than by meditating on the names of God.

“I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands.” ~Psalm 143:5

This type of remembering isn’t just a passing thought. No, we think on His works carefully, thoroughly, and seriously.

“Remember the former things of old: for I am God, and there is none else; I am God, and there is none like me,” ~Isaiah 46:9

We serve a great God. He alone is God. No one else can do what He can. Only our God can keep His every promise

So why all the commands to remember? Why was it important for the Israelites to remember how God delivered them? What will remembering do for us?

Here are four benefits of remembering what God has done for us.

1. It cultivates gratitude.

I think this quote from Ann Voskamp in her book, One Thousand Gifts, says it well.

“Remembering is an act of thanksgiving, this turn of the heart over time’s shoulder to see all the long way His arms have carried.”

How can we help but be grateful when we spend time remembering all that God has done for us! In big ways and small, He has been faithful to love, guide, and watch over us.

2. It creates trust.

A God who has brought us through trials in the past can be trusted to carry us through whatever is ahead.

3. It brings blessings.

It was only when the children of Israel forgot what God had done that they left off worshiping Him, and followed after Baal and other idols. Then God’s judgment came as punishment for their sin. How much better if they (and we!) could stop the cycle by keeping God’s greatness always before us.

4. It causes all glory to go to God.

Remembering keeps us humble because we realize that God is the one who has accomplished everything good and productive in our lives. If it had been left up to us, what a mess we would have made of things!

We can be confident in our future because we know, based on the past, that our God will continue to perform His will faithfully in our lives!

Saturday Salutes ~ Getting Out of a Funk, Kids’ Gifts, and the Books I Read in October

October 27, 2018 by Tracey 4 Comments

Ruth talks about Finding Strength When You Feel Weak.

Reading Let Me Hold You Longer on a night when I was already feeling sentimental brought the tears to the surface. The house was feeling empty with the girls out of town for a school volleyball/soccer trip, so I couldn’t linger long over this one!

Danielle shares 7 Tips to Get Out of a Funk.

Deanna gives us helpful ideas in Gifts for Kids Who Have Everything.

These Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter Balls with Rice Krispies might be fun to make with my girls during the holidays.

October has flown by for sure! I got two non-fiction and one fiction book finished this month.

Perhaps I’m a couple of years early for Barbara and Susan’s Guide to the Empty Nest by Barbara Rainey and Susan Yates, but I want to start storing up ideas for when our empty nest season comes! I can definitely see myself referring back to this book later, as the authors shared practical, helpful advice.

Not the Boss of Us: Putting Overwhelmed in its Place in a Do-All, Be-All World by Kay Wyma was a good read that focused on living in truth rather than letting our value be determined by our accomplishments or associations. However, it didn’t quite measure up to my much-loved book by Kay, I’m Happy for You (Sort Of…Not Really).

My fiction read, Deadly Encounter by DiAnn Mills, was okay, too. It was a contemporary mystery, and I’m sure I’ll eventually read more in the series.

This quote just seemed to fit my mood today…

Source

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

Why We Can’t Take the Credit for Any of It

October 25, 2018 by Tracey 6 Comments

Maybe you’ve never had this problem. But hypothetically, let’s say, there’s a day when we don’t feel so good about ourselves. Perhaps, in order to feel better, we’re tempted to look around and find someone whose life seems to be more of a mess than ours is. We think to ourselves, “Well, at least I’m not that bad off. I’m doing better than they are.”

We find something in their lives to judge, a way to put them down and lift ourselves up. But nowhere in the Bible do we find room for self-congratulations, for an “I’m better than she is” approach.

There's a five-letter-word that reminds me it's all of God, and none of me.

This saying often attributed to John Bradford puts the correct spin on it.

“There, but for the grace of God, go I.”

For example, I can’t take credit for being born into a Christian family. Being raised in an environment where we went to church every time the doors were open gave me repeated opportunities to hear the gospel. Making good decisions as a teenager was easier because I had a family and a church community supporting me.

Obviously I still got to choose. I got to choose my friends at school and whether or not I followed the rules (which I didn’t always). The older and more independent I became, the more choices I got to make. But it was easier, at least for me, to choose right because I came to know Christ as my Savior at an early age, and was consistently taught and had lived out before me Bible principles.

On the other hand, I’ve known people from very difficult backgrounds who chose the opposite of what they’d seen, and are some of the strongest Christians I know. And that was how God’s grace played out in their lives.

When I see someone around me who’s struggling with sin – and reaping the consequences – I need to remind myself that I could be right where they are. When I see their children make mistakes, mine could have – and may still – make those some ones. So could I.

“Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.” [I Corinthians 10:12] Whatever brought that person to where they are, the same sins and wickedness can be found in my heart. What does Jeremiah say? “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” [Jeremiah 17:9]

That’s what’s so amazing about grace. It’s undeserved, unmerited favor. And it’s available to all of us, no matter how many times we’ve messed up.

And grace means there’s no grounds for me to put myself above anyone else, to think I’m better. Because I did nothing to earn it.

That’s how it all starts with salvation. “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast.” [Ephesians 2:8,9]

Didn’t God know us well? He understood what we would do. If our salvation had been through works, it would have been ALL ABOUT one-upmanship. “Look at my works. I’m so good. I’m sure to get to heaven.” If morality and good works could save me, I wouldn’t need God.

And our Christian walk is just the same. It’s the grace of God if, when I read my Bible tomorrow morning, the Holy Spirit gives me a truth I need for the day. If I have boldness to share my faith – it’s His grace.

Which means I treat others with compassion. I’m humble because it’s all of God. His grace is every bit as much for them as it is for me.

My own goodness, which is for sure unbelievably small, is not getting me anywhere. Not to heaven, not to rewards, not to a closer walk with God. It’s all of God, all of His grace, nothing of me.

Do I remember this always? No. I’ve admitted before that I struggle with pride often. But I want God to work on this in me, that I continually see myself as I am, totally reliant on His grace. And then I can offer that same grace to others.

Were it not for grace
I can tell you where I’d be,
Wandering down some pointless road to nowhere
With my salvation up to me.
I know how that would go,
The battles I would face,
Forever running but losing the race,
Were it not for grace.

~”Were It Not for Grace” by Larnelle Harris

Saturday Salutes ~ A Senior Moment and the Meal I’ll Never Eat Again

October 20, 2018 by Tracey 4 Comments

Throwback to last fall’s visit to an apple orchard and corn maze in North Carolina.

One of my highlights from this past week was meeting Nikki, her mom, and her children for supper on Monday night. Nikki and I first connected through our blogs. (You can check out her blog here.) This was the second time Nikki and I have been able to get together in person, and it was fun to meet more of her family on this visit!

We also had one of those “last” moments for our daughter as she navigates her senior year of high school. On Thursday, she worked her last home game with the girls’ volleyball team. She started out as the team manager, and for the last two years has kept the score book. They did make it to the state tournament, so she’ll get one more trip with the team next weekend!

And since I’m rambling, here’s another interesting thing that happened this week. Between my husband and I, I’m normally the more adventurous eater, especially when it comes to trying new, healthy foods. However, on Thursday night, I served what was basically spaghetti sauce over spaghetti squash noodles for supper. It about did me in. Not sure if it was the smell of the squash or the texture or just the idea of this being so against what real spaghetti should taste like, but I don’t plan to ever put that combination in my mouth again. My husband, however, went back for seconds!

Now on to a few good posts I’ve read recently.

Kari reminds us that Mean is Not Funny.

Lori shares 10 Ways to Prepare Your Child for Real Life.

With our temperatures finally cooling off a little here, I’m ready to add a few items to my closet. I’ll keep in mind Kay’s 5 Shopping Mistakes We All Make…And How to Stop.

Even though she directed it toward homeschoolers, I thought Brooke’s list in The Ultimate Homeschoolers Gift Guide had great gift ideas for any kids.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

When You’re Parenting a Teen Girl, and It’s One of Those Days

October 18, 2018 by Tracey 7 Comments

I am NOT an expert on teenage girls. In fact, I don’t know that I’m much of an expert on anything, except maybe finding the best desserts at a buffet (ha!)

We have our rough days around here just as often as anyone else does. But I hope that after parenting one daughter through five of the seven teenage years, and another through three, that I’ve learned a little something.

I do know that each child provides a very different parenting experience. Their personalities play a big part in how much they challenge authority, how they respond to correction, and pretty much every other part of the process!

Some are easy-going, naturally want to please, and seek to avoid conflict. They may seem easier to parent, but I think they sometimes cover up what’s going on inside. Other daughters put it all out there, never leaving you to wonder what’s going on with them!

As a mom, I continue to be a work in progress. But here are a few helpful ideas I’ve discovered along the way.

Five tips for parenting a teen daughter when it's one of those tough days.

1. Wait for a calm moment to address the issue.

In the heat of the moment, when emotions run high, I’m likely to say something I shouldn’t. And my daughter’s not going to be listening to my advice/correction, because her focus is totally on how unfair I’m being, how her life is falling apart, etc. (You get the idea.)

This waiting thing goes against my nature, because I want to settle things right away and move on. But over and over (I’m a slow learner), I’ve found out that nothing productive comes of jumping right in to the discussion. Better to let both of us take time to process the situation. When she’s calm, she’s much more likely to think like an adult, and something productive can be accomplished.

2. Know that being the parent isn’t always fun or easy.

Sometimes it means saying “no,” and being very unpopular with your daughter for a while. Other times, it may mean insisting she follow through with something she doesn’t want to do.

I don’t want to sound all “gloom and doom,” because there are so many great parts of having a teenage daughter. But the advice you’ve probably heard before is true…your child needs a parent, not another friend.

3. Realize that she’s listening to you more than you think she is.

How do I know this? Because she’ll bring up something I said when I thought she was paying no attention to me whatsoever. That can be good – as in, “Wow, you really are learning something!” Or it can go the other way – as in, “Oh, no, you really did hear me say that!”

4. Understand that she can get just as overwhelmed by stress and busyness as you do.

Our teenagers have a lot going on in their lives. Between school, sports, work, and other extra-curricular activities, our daughters can get very busy. Not only that, they’re learning to drive (a huge responsibility!) and beginning to make decisions about their future.

They may have high expectations for themselves, and not meeting those goals can bring disappointment. It’s not an excuse for disrespect or poor behavior, but make sure you try to understand all that they’re dealing with on a daily basis.

5. Recognize that only God can change her heart.

If you ever lived under the illusion that you were in control of your child’s life, now is the time you realize you have none. The older and more independent they become, the more you realize that they have the power to make good choices or bad ones.

So pray. This is what I need to remember every. single. day. We’re neck-deep in the season of college choice and “what should I major in.” I’m not arrogant enough to think that I know God’s will for her life. It is for Him to do His work in her heart… and for her to allow it.

I can’t soften her heart any more than I can control her emotions. Only the Holy Spirit can do that. And honestly, isn’t that a relief??? While I have a responsibility to teach her about our Savior, and to train her in His commandments, it’s the work of God to grow her in her faith.

For you mamas who’ve already parented a teenage girl through a few rough days, I’d love to hear your perspective. This non-expert mama enjoys hearing from those who’ve walked this road before me!

Don’t Be a Fool: 5 Things to Avoid if You Want to Be Wise

October 11, 2018 by Tracey 3 Comments

During my morning Bible time, I usually read a chapter from Proverbs. A couple of months ago, I decided to be more focused in my reading. Every time I came to a verse that talked about a fool, I wrote it down in my journal. I wanted to see what it said a fool did – or didn’t do – so that I could hopefully avoid being one!

While I knew that Proverbs talked a lot about fools, I didn’t actually realize how much until I did this exercise. I found it helpful, and thought I would share some of what I found with you – since I’m sure you don’t want to be a fool either!

So here are five things to avoid if you want to be not foolish, but wise.

1. Take advice or correction from no one.

We get this first one right out of the gate, in Proverbs 1:7.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

This makes perfect sense. How can you avoid foolishness if you won’t listen to wisdom? Proverbs 1:22 says something similar.

“How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity? and the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge?”

Wise people recognize that there are many situations in life that they don’t know how to handle. God’s Word is our first resource in those cases. Beyond that, look for wise advice from other people. Hopefully your pastor could be a help here. In marriage or parenting, ask counsel from someone who’s ahead of you in the journey, and seems to be living in a Christ-like way.

It’s only the foolish who think they’ve got it all under control, and don’t want to glean wisdom from anyone else.

2. Talk a lot about anything and everything.

Later on, I’d like to write a post on the verses in Proverbs that talk about the fool’s mouth. But for now, here are a few examples.

“The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.” Proverbs 15:2

I like the use of the word “poureth.” A fool’s mouth doesn’t just trickle out foolishness; it comes gushing out. And we know from Proverbs 18:7 that it’s not helpful words we’re talking about.

“A fool’s mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul.”

We all know that our tongue can get us in a world of trouble. Sometimes we can be wise just by keeping our mouth closed.

“A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” Proverbs 29:11

Don’t say everything you know. Before they speak, a wise person will ask themselves those famous questions, “Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?”

3. Enjoy your pet sins.

A fool wants to hang on to his sin.

“The desire accomplished is sweet to the soul: but it is abomination to fools to depart from evil.” Proverbs 13:19

The foolish man hates to walk away from evil. He’s not willing to deny himself in order to overcome his sin. Proverbs 1:23 goes even further when it says,

^“It is as sport to a fool to do mischief: but a man of understanding hath wisdom.”

He sins without regret or remorse, even finds pleasure in it. If we want to be wise, how tender our hearts need to be in asking the Holy Spirit to reveal sin in our lives. Then we can ask forgiveness, and seek God’s strength to overcome it.

4. Have a short fuse.

In other words, get angry quickly.

“He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly…” Proverbs 14:17

Haven’t we all fallen into this trap? We lose our temper, and then we say or do something really stupid. It can be with a co-worker, our spouse, or one of our children. Proverbs 12:16 addresses this, too.

“A fool’s wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covereth shame.”

If everybody around you knows when you’re angry, it might be time to work on some self-control. (Preaching to myself here for sure!) We need the Holy Spirit’s help to have self-control, which I think we’d all agree is the mark of a wise person.

5. Be proud.

This kind of goes along with number one. If you refuse to accept instruction from others, you qualify as proud. But look what it says in Proverbs 14:16.

“A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil: but the fool rageth, and is confident.”

Wise people discern that there’s trouble ahead, and avoid it at all costs. But the fool thinks, “I’ve got this!” He’s arrogant and self-confident. His way is the best way. Proverbs 12:15 says,

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.”

I love that we read in James 4:6 that God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. A wise man knows he is weak, but goes to God for discernment and strength to overcome his weakness.

Maybe we can all take what I learned about a fool from Proverbs, and make decisions in our lives that will cause us to be wise!

Saturday Salutes ~ Bad Relationships, a New Podcast, and a Dessert Recipe

October 6, 2018 by Tracey 4 Comments

Our girls are out of town, so last night my husband and I had a date night to Blossom Cafe, a favorite spot in downtown Charleston.

If you have tween or teen girls, have them read this post from Kari ~ Girls, Don’t Settle for Bad Relationships. It’s a good mom-read, too!

Chelsia shares What We Can Learn from Mary & Martha.

Brooke has Movie Review Sites for Parents. (My favorite is Common Sense Media. I like that they include specific details about the positive and negative elements of the movie in their reviews.)

Crystal Paine (aka Money Saving Mom) recently started a podcast. I enjoyed episode 3 this week, The Secret to Being a Happier Mom with Jeannie Cunnion.

I’ll be making this Milk and Cookies Icebox Cake soon. Sounds easy and looks delicious!!

Most popular post from September ~ When You’re in the Pit, Look Forward to Your New Song.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!