Parent Archives - Girls To Grow

7 Valuable Lessons Parenting Teaches Us About Ourselves

March 5, 2025 by Tracey Leave a Comment

There’s nothing like having children to make us realize how little we know about parenting!

You can probably relate. We thought we knew the type of parent we’d be. We may have mentally planned out exactly how we’d handle certain situations. However, once we actually had children and were parenting them in real time, things probably looked quite different!

As much as I’ve learned about our children through the years, I’ve learned just as much about myself. Each new age and stage has its own blessings as well as its challenges. And each one gives us and our children the chance to grow and mature as people.

Below are seven things I’ve learned (and continue to learn!) about myself on this parenting journey. There are certainly others I could list, but these are some of the most meaningful ones.

I've learned valuable parenting lessons in the last 24 years...yes, about my children, but maybe even more so about myself.

Here are 7 valuable lessons parenting teaches us about ourselves.

1. We might not have as much patience as we thought we did.

Before becoming a mom, I taught classrooms full of kindergarteners and first graders. I would have said my patience level was fairly high.

And then I had my own children. Living with them was totally different. My true self was revealed, and it wasn’t pretty. I was a lot more self-centered and short-tempered than I’d realized. Dealing with a strong-willed two-year-old or managing sibling squabbles didn’t always bring out the best in me.

The good news is that in 24 years of parenting, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to grow in this area!

2. We can greatly benefit from community.

I’m an introvert so I’m fine spending large chunks of time alone. However, throughout these mom years, I’ve found I definitely need time with other moms who are in a similar life stage. There’s nothing like bonding with others over shared joys or trials in parenting. We can celebrate and commiserate.

I remember meeting several mom friends for dinner as our children were finishing up high school. We had a great discussion about the transition between parenting children and young adults. I left so encouraged over finding common ground with others who related to what I was going through.

3. We have to work at being consistent.

It’s not easy to be steady in our discipline or in setting boundaries. A hard day of parenting can make us want to just give up on it all.

But we need to remember that our children are always watching and learning from what we do. They tend to respond better when we are predictable in how we interact with them and in how we conduct our own lives.

4. If we thought marriage revealed most of our flaws…parenting exposes even more.

I learned to do life with another adult for nine years before we had children. I’m not saying I did it perfectly (and I still don’t). But marriage was just the first step in stripping away my selfishness.

Once children came on the scene, it leveled up! There’s often some personal sacrifice involved when it comes to our kids, even basic things like getting up with them in the middle of the night or having very little time to ourselves. And while we wouldn’t have it any other way, these moments reveal more of who we really are.

5. We’re not in control.

I have to trust God because ultimately, I have no control over my children. From health to safety to relationships to choices they make, God is the one who’s in control.

The more time our children spend away from us – at school, summer camp, then college, and living independently – the more we realize the importance of praying for them. We can’t constantly be close to them in distance, but God is always with them.

6. We need wisdom from God.

I never knew how much I needed God’s wisdom daily until I had teenagers. Whether they’re asking for guidance or we’re establishing boundaries and meeting out consequences, wisdom is invaluable.

We even need wisdom in how to pray for them. They may be dealing with issues they’ve not shared with us, but God knows each one and can lay them on our hearts.

7. We can love our children more than we ever thought possible.

In case the first six lessons made it sound like parenting is only hard, this one makes it all worth it!

It’s amazing how much love and joy we get from parenting our children. It’s such a pleasure to have a front-row seat to watch them become the incredible young people God designed them to be.

What valuable lessons are you learning about yourself as you’re parenting your kids?

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8 Important Bible Verses for Teen Girls to Live By

July 3, 2024 by Tracey Leave a Comment

As our daughters were growing up, there were many things I wanted them to learn. From practical skills like cooking and cleaning to character traits like honesty and initiative, I had the privilege of guiding them in many areas during those early years.

When we want to help our children develop spiritually, having them study and memorize Scripture is a helpful tool. The Bible has verses that give us instructions for how we’re to live as followers of Christ.

Our daughters will likely face new and sometimes challenging situations as they enter the tween and teen years. As parents, we can give them a head start on handling those situations by grounding them in truths from God’s Word.

Here are eight important Bible verses to share with our girls. These principles will be a great help to them as they grow and mature in the coming years.

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Teenage girls can face many challenges on a daily basis. These 8 Bible verses teach our teen girls important truths to live by.

1. Ephesians 4:32, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

Kindness should be the basis for how they treat everyone, from siblings to teachers, friends to strangers. Being friendly and considerate of others is a wonderful way to move through the world, no matter what age you are!

Sadly, they may not always be treated kindly in return. That’s where forgiveness comes in. It’s okay to set boundaries and protect yourself from unhealthy relationships. But we don’t want to let bitterness creep in by refusing to forgive others just as God has forgiven us.

2. I Peter 3:4, “But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”

What a blessing they can be to others if our girls understand from an early age the spiritual value of a meek and quiet spirit. It’s that inner beauty, not their clothes or accessories or hairstyle that honors God and attracts others.

This doesn’t mean that our daughters don’t stand up for themselves and what they believe is right. But they do it calmly, with a sweet spirit, knowing that how they live speaks more loudly than their actual words.

3. Proverbs 31:26, “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”

We all struggle with controlling our speech. This verse describes what good speech looks like in our everyday lives. Learning to use wise, kind words during their teen years will help our daughters for the rest of their lives!

4. Proverbs 31:30, “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.”

How I want my daughters to grasp the fact that, no matter their age, true beauty comes from within. Outward looks and attractive bodies will change. But a young woman who learns to walk with God and continues to grow in her faith will always radiate loveliness.

5. Philippians 4:6, “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.”

As women we often tend to worry, so it’s worthwhile to teach our daughters early on to take every care to God in prayer. They’ll be making lots of decisions during these teen years and can take each one to their Heavenly Father and ask for his help.

6. I Timothy 4:12, “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”

Even as young people, our children can have a real impact on others. One of the books we had our girls read as young teens was Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations by Alex and Brett Harris. Let’s not underestimate what our teens can accomplish.

7. I Corinthians 10:31, “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.”

Do every chore, complete all your school work, play on the sports team, practice that band instrument as if you were doing each one to honor God.

8. Proverbs 15:5, ” A fool despiseth his father’s instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.”

While our children may not always understand it, we as parents do truly want what’s best for them. God says they are wise if they listen to correction and instruction from their parents. And as parents, we need to pray for God’s wisdom as we walk with them through this season of life.

Let’s encourage our teen girls to dig into these eight Bible verses they can live by. And while we’re at it, we can make sure we’re seeking to live by these truths, too!

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10 Simple Ways to Strengthen Family Relationships

May 1, 2024 by Tracey Leave a Comment

Do you have any goals for your family?

I’m not talking about a bucket list of what you want to accomplish together, though that’s a great idea! The only list of that type we have at the moment is a general list in our heads of trips we’d like to take.

Let’s go deeper than that. How do you want your family members to feel when you’re all together? I know that I want each person to feel safe, loved, and accepted exactly as they are. Whether it’s a wacky sense of humor or a deep-seated fear of spiders, we all should feel comfortable being ourselves when we’re together.

I want us to enjoy spending time with each other, to create family memories, to have moments that we can all look back on with shared fondness. It’s fun to hear our daughters talk about memories from their younger years, though that often turns into retelling stories about when they got into trouble for something!

I think we all want to build this sense of love and security into our families. We need to actively look for ways to cultivate that spirit. So I wrote out a list of ten simple ways that we can strengthen family relationships.

We want our family members to be close. Here are ten ways we can strengthen family relationships and build community.

1. Pray together.

Here’s a great foundation for the rest of the list! Our hearts are united as we pray for needs to be met, then rejoice when prayer is answered. We all know when someone in the family is going through a difficult time. It’s a comfort to know that the whole family is praying for you.

And beyond praying together, it’s a blessing to worship as a family. As a mom of older kids, my heart is full when we’re all in a church service together singing and praising the Lord.

2. Share family meals.

Do this as much as you can when your children are small, even though it will be hard at times and all kinds of messy. 🙂 Speaking from experience, it gets much harder when your kids are teenagers and have practices, games, part-time jobs, and other activities in the evening.

There were seasons when we had our family Bible time right after supper, still seated at the table. And as our children hit their teen years and on into young adulthood, we’ve had some great conversations around the table.

3. Support each other’s interests.

As much as possible, we would all go to the girls’ piano recitals, basketball games, and school concerts. It’s fun to rehash the highlights together afterward! It also helps us be able to encourage each other in our interests. My parents were wonderful examples of this when I was growing up.

4. Volunteer as a family.

Whether at church or in the community, take advantage of every opportunity to serve others as a group. I liked to have the girls help me when I worked in children’s church, vacation Bible school, or the church nursery.

5. Read an exciting book aloud.

It’s fun to experience the story together and discuss what might happen next. We might also listen to radio series like Adventures in Odyssey in the car when we’re on long trips. Audiobooks work well for traveling together, too.

6. Set family goals and work toward them together.

You could choose long-term or short-term goals to strive for. Even manual labor can be fun, if you’re working together towards a goal, like cleaning out the garage so you can have a yard sale to make money for a family trip. You could also choose a fun project, like putting together a large puzzle. (Okay, so that’s fun for some people 😉

7. Have friendly competitions and include a prize for the winner.

Each March, we all fill out NCAA basketball tournament brackets. The person who gets the most points chooses a restaurant for our next dinner out. Even if a couple of us aren’t that knowledgeable about which teams are the best, we still have fun competing.

8. Explore new places.

While an actual vacation is nice, this could also just be a visit to the local zoo or a bike ride at a park you’ve never checked out. Once they’re old enough, involve your children in the planning of trips and activities when possible.

9. Respect each other by listening – and not interrupting – when someone else is talking.

This is a valuable skill both inside and outside of our families! We need to listen to each other and really hear what the other person is saying instead of just forming our answers and sharing our opinions.

10. Institute family traditions.

If you’ve read here long, you know this is one of my favorite ideas! For example, each of our girls always got heart-shaped boxes of candy from their dad on Valentine’s Day. You don’t age out of that one until you’re married! And so far, Easter baskets have continued on into married life.

I tried to create a certain tradition around every holiday. But small, simple traditions are fun, too, like always having pizza on Friday nights.

As Gretchen Rubin says, “The days are long, but the years are short.” Let’s gather our families around us and build strong ties that will give us great companions as we walk through life, those who will celebrate our victories and walk with us through our struggles.

(And if you’re having a particularly hard day today, go read The Best Response to ‘The Days Are Long, But the Years Are Short.‘ Because I do remember those days, and they can be really, really long.)

What are other ways we can strengthen family relationships?

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10 Important Things to Know Before Your Daughter Gets Married

April 3, 2024 by Tracey Leave a Comment

I love weddings! I’m in the stage of life where our friends’ children are getting married so bridal showers and weddings are happening more frequently.

And of course, our older daughter got married last year! Her wedding day is one of my most treasured memories.

We had a year between the engagement and wedding to plan and prepare for her special day. Part of it was done long distance because she was in college out-of-state for about eight months of that time.

Pulling it all together went fairly smoothly because both my daughter and I are planners. However, there were plenty of nights – especially as the date got closer – when I’d lie in bed unable to sleep. My mind would be whirling with all kinds of wedding-related thoughts!

So the first important thing to know, before we even start our list, is to take all of your wedding-related thoughts, concerns, and cares to God in prayer! Ask for his wisdom and guidance as you go through the process. And of course, pray for His blessing on your daughter and her fiance!

And now let’s look at 10 important things to know before your daughter gets married.

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Planning a wedding with your daughter? Here are 10 important things to know before your daughter gets married.

1. There’s a strong chance that you’ll disagree with your daughter about something related to the wedding.

Several of my friends are in this same season of life with one or more daughters getting married. I have yet to talk to one where the mom and daughter agreed on every single detail of the wedding.

This doesn’t have to mean that there will be a big argument! But it will likely involve sitting down and talking through the options and coming up with a compromise.

2. It’s your daughter’s and her fiance’s wedding…but if you’re paying, you get to have a voice in some of the decisions.

The best approach is to come together as you start wedding planning and get a general idea of everyone’s expectations. That way there aren’t big surprises later on in the process.

3. Make memories with your daughter during the months of wedding planning.

Add a coffee stop to the wedding errands you’re doing together and just sit and talk. Have breakfast after that early morning visit to the florist.

If she’s still living at home, you’re both facing a big transition as she moves out soon. Enjoy the times you have together just coming and going throughout the day.

4. Recognize what you’re good at and find help for the rest.

As I mentioned, my daughter and I are planners, so I didn’t need help with the timeline or scheduling or reserving the items or locations we needed. Decorating was my downfall! I’m not naturally creative and ideas for making a church or reception space look nice are beyond my talents.

We were able to pay someone to take care of that, but you don’t necessarily have to. We all likely have friends or family members who enjoy that type of activity and are willing to help.

5. Choose the two or three things that really matter to you and your daughter and spend the biggest part of the budget on those.

So having a budget for the wedding isn’t an item on this list, but I’m sure it should be! Allocate the money available into categories, and put the largest chunks toward those things that are most important to your daughter and her fiance.

It could be the photographer, the videographer, the musicians, the dress, the wedding cake, etc. Get the best you can afford in those few areas and be okay with spending less on the others.

6. Lists are your friend.

We bought my daughter The Knot Ultimate Wedding Planner and Organizer and she used that regularly. I made lists of things to buy and things to do. I broke up those lists into months until the week leading up to the wedding. Then I had a list for every day that week!

Another helpful list was of meals needed for the wedding week. Even though we were in wedding mode, people still needed to eat. The list helped me know what to shop for and serve.

7. Do as much ahead of time as possible.

This probably goes without saying, but the more you can do ahead of time the better. We were able to have table centerpieces and other decorations put together beforehand. Some things have to wait until you can access the wedding space. But if it’s all already organized, set up goes more quickly and smoothly.

Thankfully we were able to get most everything done the day before the wedding and were able to enjoy the actual day and not feel stressed.

8. If guests are staying at your house, put a house cleaner in the budget for before and/or after the wedding.

A friend recommended this to me, and it was wonderful! I chose to have someone come the day before some of the wedding party started arriving so I was able to focus on other things.

I cleaned the house myself after everyone left post-wedding because I knew I’d need the distraction and to keep myself occupied.

9. Plan a vacation or a bit of downtime for shortly after the wedding.

My husband and I were able to take a trip together a couple of weeks after the wedding. I was so thankful because it gave me something to look forward to after the wedding was over.

Maybe you can’t do a trip, but try taking a day off – or even set aside a Saturday where you can do something fun and relaxing in your local area. Weddings take a lot out of you, so it’s nice to set aside time for rejuvenation!

10. Your relationship with your daughter after the wedding can be something new and beautiful.

I’ve loved every time my daughter’s called to ask about a recipe or where to find an ingredient in the grocery store! This could be different if your daughter’s already lived alone, but either way, you get to create a new relationship now that she’s a married woman.

Continue to invest time in her and in her new husband. There are plenty of new memories ahead for all of you!

If you’ve gone through this process with your daughter, what would you add to this list of things to know before your daughter gets married?

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8 Important Verses from Proverbs to Teach Your Children

March 20, 2024 by Tracey Leave a Comment

Have you ever experienced information overload?

I’m a planner by nature. If my family takes a trip to a location we haven’t visited before, I want to check out everything the area has to offer – all the hotels, restaurants, and sites we might want to see. But it doesn’t take long until I just feel overwhelmed with ALL the information.

There are so many websites to check out that I could get lost on the internet for days. How do I know which reviews are reliable? Is that tourist attraction really worth our time? Is that the best hotel rate I’m going to find?

Here’s my point. Sometimes we’re so overwhelmed with information that we don’t know where to start.

As Christian moms, we want to raise wise children. This doesn’t necessarily involve book smarts; rather, we want our kids to make thoughtful choices and have discernment when making decisions. I’m glad to know that we don’t have to search all around to find the best ways to teach our children wisdom.

The book of Proverbs gives us advice for every area of life, from relationships to money to how to conduct business to generosity and self-control.

Below I listed eight easy verses from Proverbs, each containing a basic principle you can teach to your children. They’re all fairly short, short enough that you could even memorize them together as a family after you discuss them. (I’ve included a free printable of these verses at the bottom of this post.)

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Here are eight important verses from Proverbs to teach your children.

Here are 8 important verses from Proverbs to teach your children along with the Bible principles to help them grow in wisdom.

1. He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. ~Proverbs 13:20

Choose your friends wisely. This is important when our children are young, but even more so as they hit the middle school and high school years. We become like those people whom we spend our time with.

2. Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight. ~Proverbs 12:22

Tell the truth always, even when it’s hard – and it will be sometimes, even as adults. We want God to delight in us, and he does as we tell the truth and treat others fairly.

3. He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. ~Proverbs 16:32

Learning to control your temper takes hard work and the help of the Holy Spirit. The second part of this proverb deals with any area of self-control. Handling your emotions wisely is more valuable than being physically strong.

4. The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat. ~Proverbs 13:4

In other words, the lazy man wants lots of things but has nothing, while the diligent person will be made rich. Work hard, be thorough, and you’ll be rewarded. Gaining wealth isn’t in and of itself a worthy life goal, but it’s typically a byproduct of hard work and perseverance.

5. He that hath a bountiful eye shall be blessed; for he giveth of his bread to the poor. ~Proverbs 22:9

Bountiful here means “generous.” When you work hard – as we talked about above – you’ll be able to be generous, which brings further blessings on your life.

6. A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favor rather than silver and gold. ~Proverbs 22:1

Your reputation is important. As Benjamin Franklin said, “It takes many good deeds to build a good reputation, and only one bad one to lose it.”

Proverbs 20:11 says something similar. Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.

7. Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end. ~Proverbs 19:20

Listen to those who are older and wiser than you, and you will learn a lot. We want our children to have teachable hearts. It’s important that we parents put wise people – from teachers to coaches to pastors – in their lives as other voices to guide them into truth.

8. Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles. ~Proverbs 21:23

How much trouble we would all avoid if we could control what we say! While it will take a lifetime to work on this, it’s good to help our kids begin to understand the importance of the words they use. Those words can wound or heal, hurt or help.

When our kids were younger, I loved having stories that illustrated the principles in Proverbs. Two of our favorite books were Wisdom and the Millers and Those Kids in Proverbsville. Both of them have short stories that are perfect for family devotions or bedtime stories.

I created a free printable of these eight Proverbs if you’d like to have an easy way to reference it.

Click here to access the free printable.

I hope you’ll find these eight verses from Proverbs helpful as you teach your children wisdom from the Bible. Is there another verse from Proverbs that you would add to this list?

Related Posts:
10 Bible Verses for Little Ones
10 Bible Verses for Teens to Memorize
10 Ways to Help Your Child Memorize Scripture

5 Important Bible Verses to Rely on as We Parent Teenagers

January 24, 2024 by Tracey Leave a Comment

I used to think I knew a lot about being a mom. When our daughters were young, most decisions were clear-cut. It’s fairly straightforward to discipline my child when she’s directly disobeying me, lying, or being mean to her sister.

Yet the older they got, the more that changed. I saw parenting as less and less formulaic. Our approach depended more on the personality of the child, as well as their maturity level, and their history of making (or not making) wise decisions.

It became less and less about parenting through authority, and a lot more about exercising influence. Each year that passed had us releasing a little more control to them to make their own decisions.

More than ever, I realized how much I needed guidance from God’s Word. The five Bible verses below are a foundation we can return to again and again when we’re unsure of what to do. They apply no matter what stage of parenting we’re in. However, they certainly became even more treasured as our girls have gotten older.

As we parent our teenagers, we need truths from the Bible to guide us. These 5 verses give comfort and direction in each stage of parenting.

1. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. ~James 1:5

I need this verse every. single. day. Knowing that God’s wisdom is available can give us so much hope as we parent our children.

This verse is a promise. I simply have to recognize that I lack wisdom (not a problem!) Then I ask in faith, believing that God will give me wisdom, and He will. My husband and I both experienced times when we were dealing with one of our daughters, and God gave us insight in that moment that we hadn’t had before!

2. “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” ~Hebrews 4:16

When it comes to parenting situations, I don’t always feel like I’m coming boldly…it’s more like crawling up to God’s throne begging for help! But that’s the place we need to be if we want to find the grace we need to get us through the hard days.

This also reminds me of the daily grace God provides to us, even when we sin yet again. In that same way, I’ve needed to extend grace to my daughters when they messed up. I don’t live perfectly, so why would I expect them to do so?

While our children’s actions will produce consequences, it’s not wise to hold those over their heads or continually bring them up. We deal with it and we move on.

3. “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ~Romans 8:38-39

Paul was persuaded that nothing could separate him from God’s love. The same is true of us and our children. No matter how they act on a particular day (that’s driving us crazy!) or the poor decision they made that we’re having to deal with, God still loves them.

And when, as parents, we lose our temper or miss an opportunity to invest in our children, God’s love for us is still there. It’s constant and comforting.

4. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” ~Jeremiah 29:11

There may be a day when we experience disappointed hopes and dreams. Our children’s lives may not be playing out in the way we’d hoped. Our relationship with them may look different from what we’d mapped out in our minds when our children were little.

But God thinks about our children. He has thoughts about them and plans for their future. Each part of their story can be used for His glory…as can ours.

5. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:6-7

I think you may sense a theme here! We started with prayer and we’re ending with prayer.

We’ve never truly been in control of our children’s lives, but the older they get, the more we feel that lack of control. They make decisions and live with the consequences.

If I try to manage every detail of my child’s future, I’ll be more of a mess than I already am! So what’s the solution to that worry about what I can’t control?

Take it to God in prayer. As we release our children, their present and their future, into God’s hands, He will give us peace.

How thankful I am for God’s Word that gives us hope and comfort for every parenting situation we face!

A Letter to My Teenage Daughter: God Has Great Plans for Your Life

November 1, 2023 by Tracey 4 Comments

Dear daughter,

You are so precious to me.

I’ve watched you grow from a baby, totally dependent on your dad and me for everything, to a strong, independent young woman.

You stand on the brink of an unknown future. Yes, you seem to know the very next step. But you have no idea how your life will unfold. The coming years are full of mystery, brimming with hope and promise,

As I stand behind you now, watching as you prepare to launch out on your own, I have so many thoughts I want to share with you.

Yet, as in many areas of life, there are lessons you’ll have to learn on your own.

A letter from us as moms to our teenage daughters, encouraging them to let God lead them as they step into their future.

I believe that God has great plans for your life. If you’re willing to ask for His guidance and wait patiently for his leadership, you’ll accomplish much for His kingdom.

And, if you’ll allow me, I’ll just share a few pieces of advice.

Don’t settle for less than God’s best in any part of your life.

Yes, I’m thinking specifically of the guys you’ll date – and, if God wills, that one you’ll fall in love with. It’s such an important decision, this choosing of your life’s partner. Wait for the one who makes you a better person, who loves God and cherishes you.

From the activities you participate in to the career field you study, look to God for guidance. Be faithful to read and study His Word. Seek his face in prayer often.

Be humble, but know your worth. You’re a daughter of the King and He has an amazing plan for you.

Also, don’t get caught up in short-term thinking. Have fun, enjoy the moment, but realize that you have the opportunity now to begin the life you want to have long-term.

Give money generously. Save regularly and spend wisely.

Build relationships that allow you to be encouraged as well as be an encouragement.

You have so much potential! If you’ll follow God and allow him to direct your steps, the results will be extraordinary.

It won’t always be easy. Life just doesn’t work that way. You’ll make mistakes. Hard days and disappointments will find you.

But look for God in those times. For it’s there that you’ll likely grow the most. The struggles will shape you into the person He’d have you become.

Be brave and courageous. Work hard, be kind, have fun. And I’ll be here cheering you on as you step into the bright future He has planned for you.

Love,

Mom

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10 Helpful Tips for Communicating with Your Teenage Daughter

September 20, 2023 by Tracey 2 Comments

I come to you today as a mom who’s parented two girls through their teenage years…and lived to tell about it 🙂

There are many ways our teens communicate with us. We might guess what they’re feeling from their body language, facial expressions, eye contact, and if they choose to cuddle up next to us on the sofa.

While those things give us clues, talking is typically the most effective way to communicate with and understand our teenagers. But as they go through their teen years, they may not talk to us as much as they did when they were younger.

Personality certainly plays into this. Some of our children are open books and want to tell us everything. Others would rather keep most of their thoughts and feelings to themselves. (I had one of each personality.) But even with my daughter who’s more private, I found that if I was present, patient, and didn’t push, she’d open up.

As we reach out to talk to our teenage daughters, here are ten helpful tips to consider.

Here's a list of ten things you can do to help you effectively communicate with your teenage daughter.

1. Timing is key.

If you want to have a conversation – especially a more serious one – do it when you both have a little time for discussion. It probably won’t be in the car on the way to school or when you pick her up after sports practice and she’s already worked up about something. It’s easier when both of you are calm and not preoccupied.

2. Listen fully.

Don’t be a distracted listener. If she’s verbally sharing with you, no matter how inconsequential it seems, give her your full attention.

3. Be calm.

This won’t always come easily. She may say something that makes you want to snap back at her. As one author said, refuse to ride the emotional rollercoaster with her. Be the adult. But be sure she knows that you’ll be there and ready to talk when she gets off of that rollercoaster!

4. Acknowledge her feelings.

You may or may not agree with her, but you can still acknowledge those feelings as hers.

5. Don’t accuse.

If you need to figure out a situation, start by letting her explain what happened. Follow up with some thoughtful questions that are direct but not accusatory.

6. Be honest and expect honesty in return.

Relationships are built on trust, and lying breaks that trust. We taught our girls from an early age that, in our family, dishonesty was a big deal. There’s grace for it, just as there is for other offenses, but we wanted them to know the importance of telling the truth.

7. Handle correction privately.

Don’t embarrass her by pointedly correcting her or bringing up her issues in front of others. Wait until the two of you can discuss it alone.

8. Share humor.

Have light moments of communication often. Our daughters and I send funny Instagram reels to each other. Remind her of inside jokes that your family has.

9. Be patient.

If you go through a period of time when your daughter’s not talking a lot, be patient. Make sure that there aren’t any deeper issues at play. Then just give her the freedom to talk on her timetable.

10. Make sure she knows that you always want the best for her.

This heart connection isn’t built in one conversation. It comes over time as you invest in her life and show her your love.

It’s one of the great parenting lessons I learned from my dad. I usually agreed with his parenting decisions, but even when I didn’t, I always knew he made those decisions from a place of truly wanting what was best for me.

While the teen years can feel very long, they actually aren’t! What a great time to build communication habits that will serve us well as our teens move into adulthood.

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That Day I Tried to Be a Perfect Mom

May 10, 2023 by Tracey 4 Comments

Here's what happened one day when I was trying to be a perfect mom...and how I figured out what I needed to do instead.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I overslept and rushed everybody out the door.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I corrected my children with loud, shrill tones instead of gentle words.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I let them eat chips and cookies for breakfast.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I chose cleaning the kitchen over playing with dolls.

I was going to be a perfect mom today….then my daughter talked back and I lost my temper.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I got so busy scrolling Instagram that I wasn’t listening while she told me a story about the cat.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I had to dig through a pile of dirty laundry to find the t-shirt she needs to wear for school tomorrow.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I asked God for His power to grant me self-control, His wisdom to parent my children according to their own bent, His forgiveness for my failure to obey His commands, His grace to guide me through the rest of the day, and His love to shine through me to these children.

Because while I’ll never be a perfect mom, I can be a mom who, with God’s help, loves her children well and points them to our perfect Heavenly Father.

*Adapted from a post originally published in April 2014.

How to Pray for My Strong-Willed Child

April 12, 2023 by Tracey 7 Comments

Sitting around the supper table recently, my family was discussing some memorable “misbehavior moments” from when our girls were younger. It took me back to those early days of training and correction when it sometimes felt like nothing was working!

We often hear the term “strong-willed child.” I would certainly say we have one that fits into that category! I like this definition from Aha! Parenting.com.

“What exactly is a strong-willed child? Some parents call them “difficult” or “stubborn,” but we could also see strong-willed kids as people of integrity who aren’t easily swayed from their own viewpoints. Strong-willed kids are spirited and courageous. They want to learn things for themselves rather than accepting what others say, so they test the limits over and over.

They want desperately to be “in charge” of themselves, and will sometimes put their desire to “be right” above everything else. When their heart is set on something, their brains seem to have a hard time switching gears. Strong-willed kids have big, passionate feelings and live at full throttle.”

While we need to consistently pray for all of our children, sometimes those we would classify as strong-willed drive us to our knees more often than the others. Below, I’ve listed eight ways we can pray for those children in particular, as well as ways we can pray for ourselves as we guide them. (I’m using the female tense here since I have daughters, but feel free to substitute “he/him” if your strong-willed child happens to be a boy!)

Here are eight ways we can pray for our strong-willed child...and us moms who parent them!

1. Give me wisdom to parent this child. James 1:5 promises that God will answer this prayer! I certainly need wisdom to know how to handle the daily struggles that come when she continually wants her own way, right then, no matter what.

2. Draw her to Yourself in salvation early in life. Our ultimate desire in training our children is to have them be willing to submit their will to God’s. As they yield their hearts to Jesus Christ in salvation, His Holy Spirit will begin to work in their lives.

3. Help me to be firm in setting boundaries. We get tired, and it’s so easy to cave in and just let her do what she wants. If you’re like me, you just want peace in your family! Every issue doesn’t need to turn into a power struggle (which is why I need wisdom), but when I take a stand, I need to see it through.

4. Channel her strong will into courage to stand up for what’s right. Help me see the positive potential in her determined nature. Use her to be a voice for those who are weaker, and to do great things for the cause of Christ.

5. On those days when I’m exhausted from the constant power struggles, remind me to find my strength in You. Psalm 22:19 says, “But be not thou far from me, O Lord: O my strength, haste thee to help me.” God can give us the help and strength we need for each day.

6. Grow her desire to obey. So often that’s what it’s all about – obedience. Recognize and praise those times when she actually does do what she’s asked without a fight! As we teach her to obey authority she can see and hear, that will hopefully lead to her obeying God and His Word.

7. As I parent her, show me how often I put my wishes and desires above Yours, so that I may repent. I’ve learned more about myself through parenting my children than I ever dreamed I would!! I’m not nearly as patient and easygoing as I might have thought I was before. Often, God uses situations with my children to show me my own lack of self-control and sinfulness.

8. Even when it’s hard and I’m frustrated beyond belief, let me demonstrate Your love toward her. Romans 5:8 tells me that even when I was steeped in my sin, Christ loved me enough to die for me. No matter how unlovely she is in her moments of rebellion, I can allow the fruit of the Spirit to show love through me to her.

God has placed into our homes exactly the children He wants us to parent. May we seek His help through prayer every day to train those children in a way that brings Him glory

*This was originally published in February 2017. I’m happy to report that my strong-willed child has grown into a delightful young woman.

You can also check out My Family Prayer Journal which is a printable PDF to help guide you as you pray for your children.

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