We’re ten days into February and I’m ready to declare it the “winteriest” of the winter months, at least for 2021! I’m actually writing this post on Monday, which has been mostly sunny and warmer, but I see more gray skies and rain ahead in our weather forecast.

These cold, wet days naturally lead to lots of time inside at home. What comes to your mind when you think of that word – home? Is it a particular house you lived in growing up? Does it bring to the surface emotions that make you feel safe and secure – or the opposite? Are there certain people you always associate with that word?

No matter what your living situation, most of us live in a home of some sort. It could be a camper, an apartment, or a single family house. Your home could contain just one person, include a roommate, or be multi-generational.

Regardless of our home’s physical characteristics or the makeup of people, we all want our home to be a place we want to be. Somewhere that’s comfortable, welcoming, and peaceful.

Part of what creates that feeling is being surrounded by things we enjoy. For my family, that means lots of books, some pictures on the walls, and photos of family and places we’ve visited. But if filling the rooms with stuff made for a happy home, we could all create one fairly easily.

But a happy home is so much more than that. I’m sure we could come up with a long list of ingredients for a happy home, but here are some I think are important.

1. Love for God

This is the basis for a truly happy home. Can unsaved people have a happy home at times? I think so. But if our home is going to have an overall sense of peace and joy, even when times are tough, our faith will be our home’s foundation.

2. Love for each other

This doesn’t mean kids won’t fight or that husbands and wives won’t have disagreements. But deep down, we all know we’re for each other. We may not like each other all the time, but love is always present. Simply put, we can’t be selfish and expect our home to be happy.

3. Respect

Family members need to respect each other’s time, possessions, and differences. This means we have some ground rules like you can’t borrow your sister’s things without asking. And when we disagree, we don’t yell at each other. We respect the other person enough to talk it through – even if we need some time to cool down first.

4. Shared interests

For us this is Hallmark mystery movies and card games and skillet chocolate chip cookies with vanilla ice cream 🙂 It can also be a favorite sports team you follow or a book author you all like to read or a hobby you do together.

5. Open communication and clear expectations

Make honesty non-negotiable. Talk a little and listen a lot. And those expectations in your head that you never communicate to your family – you shouldn’t be upset when they’re not met.

As a wife and mom, I’m learning that a happy home starts with me and my attitude. No matter how fluffy the pillows or how plush the carpet, if I’m grumpy or “out of sorts,” our home will not be pleasant for anyone.

Seeing my family members as people I can serve for Jesus makes a huge difference. The tasks that I do – from folding laundry to scrubbing the shower to cooking supper – are not just acts of service for my family, but beyond that, they’re done for the Lord. 

As Colossians 3:17 reminds me, “And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by Him.” This doesn’t just apply to my Bible study time or the ministry I serve in at church. “Whatsoever ye do” covers packing my husband’s lunch, vacuuming crumbs off the floor, or washing the dishes.

Let’s be real – no home is totally happy 100% of the time. But there can be an ongoing undercurrent of contentment and satisfaction. With God’s help, my attitude can be one of service and selflessness, and our home can be a place of peace and happiness for my family.

Home interprets heaven. Home is heaven for beginners. ~Charles Henry Parkhurst

What other ingredients do you think it takes to make a happy home?

Related posts:

• 20 Things I’ve Learned in 20 Years of Parenting
• 7 Life Principles from Proverbs to Teach Our Children
• 5 Common Enemies of a Good Marriage

If there’s anything 2020 has handed us, it’s been opportunities to adjust to changes!

These adjustments have looked different for everyone over the past nine months. Our latest one involves our younger daughter. She’d been attending in-person classes at her high school for most of the first nine weeks of the school year. However, due to several students and teachers testing positive for COVID recently, she’s now in the midst of two weeks of Zoom classes before hopefully returning to school on Monday. We’d settled into the school year routine fairly well, and then…change.

Change takes many forms.  It can be the literal seasons, a season of life (I’m looking at you, empty nest years!), a new job, a move, adding a family member, or a lot of other scenarios.

Over the years, the seven tips listed below have been helpful as I navigated uncertain periods of life.

1.  Have a basic routine. 

A routine can be as simple as waking up and getting dressed at the same time each morning. Planning the first hour of the day by scheduling Bible time or exercise or a particular household chore can be helpful.  I remember one mom saying that the first activity of her day was emptying the dishwasher of clean dishes so it was ready to be filled with dirty ones as the day progressed.

I find that anchoring my morning with just two or three essential activities gives me a sense of control for the day. You can find guidance on building simple morning routines at Kat Lee’s site Hello Mornings. Once life gets back to a more predictable pattern, you can add other details back into your schedule. But in the meantime, set yourself up for success by establishing a basic routine.

2.  Put relationships first. 

Since I’m task-oriented, following a routine is fairly easy for me. And while that’s important because it gives a rhythm to my days, I can skip connecting with the people around me.  If we’re talking about family members, they’re likely experiencing change in some form right along with us. Are we taking the time to acknowledge their needs?

We may have to be purposeful about sitting down to a meal together or going out for coffee. Often, in a season of change, we can be distracted or feel like there’s not enough time to get everything done. That’s why we have to focus on our relationships and make maintaining them a priority.

3.  Keep to-do-lists short. 

Figure out what actually has to get done each day.  We can easily get overwhelmed in an unsettled situation. Having a manageable list of tasks to accomplish can keep us from getting discouraged. It can also give us focus when we don’t know what to do next.

The Lazy Genius has an interesting podcast episode called What Is Your List-Making Personality? (You can also read it as a PDF here.) Most of us feel a sense of accomplishment when we can check a piece of paper (or our phones) at the end of the day and see what we actually completed.

4.  Be flexible. 

Remember up there when I said routines are my friend? Flexibility is not. 🙂 Change is all about situations that are in flux, so be willing to adjust plans as needed. Again, 2020 has allowed us to practice this over and over again.

Be patient with yourselves and others when plans or situations change. Know that there’s a time and a season for everything…but we can’t always do all the things right now.

5.  Simplify. 

Make simple meals, wear clothes that don’t require ironing, do only essential cleaning.  Keep your schedule as free as possible so you can deal with unexpected situations that arise.

I often enjoy Emily P. Freeman’s podcast The Next Right Thing. She helps listeners tackle just the very next decision that needs to be made rather than looking ahead to what’s farther down the road.

6.  Pray. 

In seasons of change, this should actually top the list!  Ask for God’s wisdom and help with your current circumstances. When I’m overwhelmed, I find comfort in basing my prayers on the Psalms.

We’re all familiar with Philippians 4:6-7. When life’s uncertain, let’s really grab hold of God’s promise of peace as we bypass worry and take our requests to Him.

7.  Give yourself grace.

Many days don’t go as planned.  That’s okay! 

Stop. Let go of the frustration. Take a minute to count your blessings. Realize that eventually, life will return to some sort of normal. Until then, don’t expect everything to function just like before.

Seasons of change help us grow.  We often get a new perspective and are able to re-evaluate what’s most important in our lives. Change can be scary, but hopefully these tips can help us handle it a bit more calmly!

Related posts:

• In the Midst of Change, Here’s Who God Is to Me Today
• 5 Ways That Daily Quiet Time with God Changes Me
• 10 Things God Might Use to Change Us This Year

My husband and I recently made plans for our summer vacation, which makes me so excited!! I love having events to look forward to! Whether it’s a family vacation, a date night with my husband, or buying an item I’ve been saving up money for, I enjoy anticipating what’s ahead.

But what I don’t want to do is wait for a future event to make me happy.

I talked with my daughters about this when they were younger.  There were many things they could hold up as benchmarks for happiness – when I can drive, when I have a boyfriend, when I’m a senior, when I have enough money to buy those shoes I want.  I simply encouraged them to look around and be grateful for all they have to enjoy this day, in this moment, to grasp “now.”

Grasp means “to seize and hold firmly.”  Every day, we’re given opportunities to seize. Most of them can seem insignificant at the time, but they are the building blocks of our lives. Rather than let the small moments slip past us, let’s hold onto them firmly just for this moment that they have been given. 

I had one of these moments on Saturday night. I was working in the kitchen, my husband was in the garage cleaning my car, and our daughter was practicing a song on the piano. Nothing extraordinary was happening. It was just a typical part of our day. But I stopped to thank God for that moment with the three of us here, all healthy, safe, and loved.

I like this quote from Sarah Ben Breathnach.

“Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy.“

Here’s a list of ten things we can do to grasp the now that is today.

1. Give thanks for the small things.

Write down three things you’re thankful for right now. Bonus points if you put it on a sticky note and reflect on those things for the entire day.

2. Take five minutes and sit still.

Literally, five minutes. Set a timer on your phone and be still. Meditate on a Bible verse, sing through a song in your head, pray, picture your favorite place in your mind. Just don’t think about your to-do list.

3. Smile on purpose.

It can be at your family, at the cashier in the grocery store, at a perfect stranger behind you in line. It takes no extra time or money to smile.

4. Hug your family.

As in a real hug, body to body, not a quick pat on the shoulder as they head out the door.

5. Take a picture of something that’s beautiful to you.

It could be the flower blooming in your front yard, the plate of cookies you baked, your child’s smile. Use it as your home screen on your phone to remind you of the beauty around you.

6. Enjoy eating and drinking mindfully.

I eat way too fast, though I blame it on my kids. I like my food hot, and when they were little, if I wanted to get it down hot, I had to do it quickly before one of them needed something.

We gulp down most of our meals. Today let’s make it a process. Be grateful you have an appetite. Savor what you put in your mouth that nourishes your body.

7. Go outside.

Whatever the weather, try to spend at least a few minutes in nature.

8. Say a heartfelt thank you to someone who serves you today.

The bagger at the grocery store, the barista, the fast-food worker who hands you your chicken sandwich, or the teacher at your child’s school would likely all be encouraged by your expression of appreciation.

9. Meditate on a Bible verse that encourages you.

Here are a few to get you started.

“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation.” ~Isaiah 12:2

“My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.” ~Psalm 73:26

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” ~Matthew 11:28

10. Find a little time just to do something you enjoy.

Read a chapter in a book, listen to a podcast or playlist, work on a puzzle, bake cookies, or do some sort of craft. It doesn’t have to take a long time, but set aside a few minutes to do something that brings you pleasure.

We have been given today as a gift from God. May we use the day for His glory by living it to its fullest.

Related posts:

• In the Midst of Change, Here’s Who God Is to Me Today
• 5 Unexpected “gods” We Might Be Worshipping Today
• 3 Truths About God from Psalm 91 to Encourage Us Today

Do you like to talk? I tend to think of myself as a fairly quiet person, but my husband may feel otherwise! 🙂

Regardless, most of us use a bunch of words every day. Those who are closest to us often get the benefit (or detriment!) of many of them.

This came to mind on Monday as I was reading Proverbs 10. I’ve read it often, but this time I noticed how many verses in this one chapter deal with our speech. I figured this topic must be important if it got this much attention!

Whether it’s in marriage, parenting, or friendships, our words have power. I found a few principles in the verses below that can be helpful to us. I’ve not mastered these guidelines that I’m sharing, but I definitely want to do a better job at them!

1. Make sure that our words are refreshing and lifegiving.

Verse 11: The mouth of a righteous man is a well of life: but violence covereth the mouth of the wicked.

We want people to feel better – not worse – after talking to us! I’m reminded of Proverbs 18:21 which tells us that death and life are in the power of the tongue. The words we speak should energize and invigorate people. If someone comes to us down and discouraged, what we say can give them new energy and strength.

The opposite of this could be criticism or using words that wound. Sometimes if we’ve been offended, it’s natural to try to hurt the other person with our words. Or maybe we get frustrated with their behavior and are critical of our husband or one of our children. If we want to be that righteous man, we must choose to either keep quiet or speak kindly.

After a discouraging day at work, our husbands need us to use our words to build them back up. When our teenager’s missed out on an opportunity she really wanted to pursue or had a friendship breakup, she needs our words of support. She may not always act that way – and may even use her words to drive us away – but she needs us to continue to pursue and encourage her.

2. Speak words of wisdom.

Verse 13: In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.

Speech that is discreet and prudent shows that we are wise. Here we need the Holy Spirit’s help so we can discern what to say at times. We want to be careful not to purposely offend with our speech, but to be tactful and considerate.

Verse 31 also fits in here. The mouth of the just bringeth forth wisdom: but the froward tongue shall be cut out.

Just like the fruit tree brings forth fruit, so we can produce wise words as we learn to be “just” and walk with Christ. I’m also reminded of the Proverbs 31 woman who is described as opening her mouth with wisdom and having the law of kindness in her tongue. I would love to be described that way!!

3. Don’t talk negatively about other people.

Verse 18: He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool.

At times I struggle with all of these, but this one may be the most difficult to abide by. When we find someone else who shares our less-than-favorable opinion about another person, it’s easy to just dissolve into tearing that person down. Maybe it’s all true…but it takes us back to that old saying, “Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?”

Even more seriously, we don’t want to be guilty of passing on rumors or sharing false, damaging information about others. Let’s stop the gossip train before it gets started!

4. Recognize the value of silence.

Verse 19: In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.

I was talking to another mom recently about a situation involving our kids that we were frustrated with. I think both of us felt like we should march up to the authority involved and address them about it. But then my friend saved the situation by saying, “I’ve never regretted what I didn’t say in these moments.” She was absolutely right. That advice can keep me from speaking hastily or harshly and later being sorry that I reacted that way.

Let’s listen more than we talk. Remember Proverbs 17:18? Even a fool is considered wise when he keeps quiet.

5. Choose words that are appropriate and applicable to the current situation.

Verse 20: The tongue of the just is as choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth.

We’ve likely all been in situations where someone said just the right thing at just the right time and was a blessing to us. We may have also encountered people who ramble on and on (maybe about themselves) and what they said was of no benefit to anyone.

Verse 32 touches on this as well. The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable: but the mouth of the wicked speaketh frowardness.

It’s important, too, to leave the past in the past when dealing with our families. Don’t bring up that old argument with your husband or remind your child about how they failed the last time. Let’s stick to the present and speak in a way that helps us all move forward together.

Our words can be truth-centered, grace-filled, and honoring to the Lord as we seek His help to follow these principles.

Related posts:

• Don’t Be a Fool: Five Things to Avoid if You Want to Be Wise
• 10 Traits of a Wise Woman
• What Abigail Teaches Me About Discretion

My dad passed away on Monday, January 6, 2020.

It obviously wasn’t the way any of us planned to start the year, but it was all in God’s timing. My father was saved as a young adult, and we are fully confident that he went straight from here into the presence of God. Never is heaven more real than when someone we love dearly now resides there!

Our family was overwhelmed by the love and support shown by the many who knew and loved him. As the pastor of a church for 46 years, he certainly influenced a large number of people. But even more deeply than that, it was the impact he had as a person. He treated everyone he interacted with as though they were the most important person in the world.

Not only in life but now in his passing, my dad was a testimony and a motivation to me to live this one life well. There are many ways in which I want to be like him, but here are three that came to mind. Hopefully, they can be a reminder to all of us to use the time we’ve been given with purpose and intention.

1. Continually seek wisdom.

I loved the verse my brother used at the funeral service.

“And God gave Solomon wisdom and understanding exceeding much, and largeness of heart, even as the sand that is on the sea shore.” ~1 Kings 4:29

Dad was wise because he spent substantial amounts of time in God’s Word. He was a humble man who knew he needed God’s help if he was going to be successful as a husband, father, and pastor.

I and many others benefited from that wisdom. Especially when it came to parenting issues, I was quick to ask how he might handle a certain situation. And the same wisdom that was available to him is there for us as we seek it in the Bible and pray for God’s guidance.

2. Be compassionate.

In the verse above, it says Solomon had “largeness of heart.” That would definitely describe my dad! He was always concerned about others and what they might be going through and wanted to help if he could.

My tendency is to be focused on myself. I need eyes to notice the needs of people around me and then respond quickly. The Holy Spirit can help me to “Bear…one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” [Galatians 6:2]

3. Live for eternity.

I have no doubt that my dad heard “Well done, thou good and faithful servant!” He cared more about pleasing God than anyone else.

This week I was convicted as I read Mark 8:33 which talks about savoring the things of men more than the things of God. Perhaps we all have a tendency to focus on the here and now rather than viewing our thoughts, words, and actions from an eternal perspective. We’ll never regret time we spend in prayer, God’s Word, and reaching out to others.

There were hundreds of people at the visitation and funeral service last week to honor his memory. But they came because of what he did – which was care about people in order to introduce them to his Jesus whom he loved so much.

Related posts:

• 7 Steps to Becoming a Wise Woman: Live for Eternity
• 3 Truths About God from Psalm 91 to Encourage Us Today
• 8 Ways to Know if We Have Godly Wisdom