When it comes to finishing up the school year (which happens for us on May 31st), there tends to be a lot of testing going on. Whether it’s final exams or other end-of-the-school-year testing, it’s time to see how much our kids have learned over the past nine months.

Testing is basically just an evaluation of how you measure up to a certain standard. That must have been on my mind this week as I was reading in 1 John. I came to the verse below and realized that it gives us the basis for a spiritual test.

“He that saith he abideth in Him ought himself also so to walk, even as He walked.” ~1 John 2:6

If we claim to abide in Christ, we have a way to examine whether or not that’s true. How do we know if we pass that test? By asking ourselves, are we walking (i.e. living our life) like Jesus did?

That naturally leads us to ask ourselves, how did Jesus walk? What characterized His life that should also be a part of ours?

Here’s what came to my mind.

1. He had compassion.

“And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick.” ~Matthew 14:14

“And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her, and said unto her, Weep not.” ~Luke 7:13

Jesus had compassion on the multitudes as well as individuals. His heart was easily moved to concern for the sufferings of others.

Then Jesus went beyond just the feeling of sympathy. He did what He could for them by His actions and His words. Obviously, we can’t heal someone’s physical illness. But we can take them a meal, run an errand, or do their laundry. We can pray for them and speak or write words of encouragement.

2. He sought to do the Father’s will.

“For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me.” ~John 6:38

“Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.” ~Luke 22:42

There are certain things we know to be God’s will. To give thanks in everything [1 Thessalonians 5:18], submit to authority [1 Peter 2:13-15], and keep our bodies pure [1 Thessalonians 4:3-6] are clearly presented in the Bible as being the will of God for us.

And as we read His Word, He will reveal to us how He would have us to live. Through prayer and the leading and power of the Holy Spirit, we can also seek to do God’s will like Jesus did.

3. He interacted with people that others avoided.

“Then drew near unto him all the publicans and sinners for to hear him. And the Pharisees and scribes murmured, saying, This man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them.” ~Luke 15:1-2

“And, behold, two blind men sitting by the way side, when they heard that Jesus passed by, cried out, saying, Have mercy on us, O Lord, thou son of David. And the multitude rebuked them, because they should hold their peace: but they cried the more…So Jesus had compassion on them, and touched their eyes: and immediately their eyes received sight, and they followed him.” ~Matthew 20:30-34

Jesus didn’t run from the sinners, the outcasts, the diseased, or the disgraced. He ministered to them. So God calls us to have grace and offer help to anyone He puts in our path.

4. He was humble and served others.

“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.” ~Philippians 2:5-8

“After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded.” ~John 13:5

The ultimate act of humility was Jesus leaving heaven to come to earth, live as a man, then submit Himself to death on the cross to accomplish our salvation.

In the passage above, Paul instructs us to have a humble mind like Christ did. That will then lead us to serve others through our actions. Jesus, son of God and Creator of all, took on the lowly task of washing the disciples’ feet, setting an example for us to follow.

5. He prayed often.

“And in the morning, rising up a great while before day, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed.” ~Mark 1:35

“And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone.” ~Matthew 14:23

Y’all, prayer is hard work. It takes a focused mind. I honestly find it easier to read my Bible and do my journaling than to pray. I have the desire to pray, but not always the self-discipline. But if I’m going to walk as He walked, I must make prayer a priority in my life.

We are not perfect like Jesus was. That means we won’t follow through on these things one hundred percent of the time. But with the Holy Spirit’s help, our lives can be characterized by them. We can continually grow in walking as Jesus did.

Can you think of other ways in which we can walk as He walked?

Related posts:

• 4 Ways We Can Love Like Jesus
• Do You Have Fair-Weather Faith?
• 5 Bible Promises to Pray Over Your Life Today

Back in the day when I had to drive my daughters to and from school (yay for a teenager with a driver’s license!), I got the chance to learn a very important lesson from a little boy I didn’t know.

While sitting in the car, waiting for my girls to be dismissed from school, a class of four-year-olds walked by headed to the playground.  They got to the designated posts where they could hang up their lunch boxes and book bags. Ready to release some pent-up energy, they all hung up their things as quickly as they could and took off.

One little boy caught my attention. He tried several times to hoist the handle of his lunch box over the top of the post.  He finally succeeded, then slipped the book bag off his back, and began to maneuver it into place. 

With his first attempt, he knocked his lunch box off the post and it fell to the ground.  To his credit, he didn’t show any frustration. He just started the whole process over again.

Just down from him another boy, who’d already hung up his own stuff, noticed his classmate’s trouble.  While the other children dashed off to the playground, this boy moved in, took the lunch box and quickly put it back in place.  He then took the book bag, slid it over the post, and, without a word, both boys turned and continued down the sidewalk.

There wasn’t a lot of fanfare. In fact, I don’t think anyone other than myself saw what happened. But one little guy sweetly helping another little guy really touched my heart.

I have to ask, which character would you and I be in this story?  Would we be one of those other kids, wrapped up in the excitement of the moment, unaware that someone needed help? 

The other kids weren’t doing anything wrong. I’m sure their hearts were likely just as kind, and most of them would have helped out, too. If, that is, they’d noticed.

But they just didn’t notice. They were involved in their own pursuits, and didn’t take the time to look at what was happening around them.

That four-year-old didn’t know it, but he reminded me of the good Samaritan. [Luke 10:25-37] He saw a need and stopped to help, not expecting thanks or repayment, but just doing what he could in the situation. It was only a small thing, but I’m sure it meant a lot to the boy who needed help.

So let’s ask ourselves what small thing we can do today to let someone know they’re noticed. Let’s live out Colossians 3:12.

“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;”

As Christians, we want to be the ones offering kindness and mercy, putting others ahead of ourselves.

And when we help someone out, we don’t want to do it expecting something in return. That little helper wasn’t looking to get a reward from his teacher or a big pat on the back from the rest of the class. Yet we can rest assured that God sees and knows our heart.

May the example set by this tender-hearted preschooler cause us to notice those in our path who could use a simple act of kindness.

Related posts:

• 5 Ways to Show Grace to Others
• God Has a Purpose for You Today
• 4 Ways We Can Love Like Jesus

Do you ever deal with unrealistic expectations?  I’m afraid I would have to raise my hand here.

What exactly is an expectation?  The Oxford dictionary says it’s the strong belief that something will happen.

We just experienced a holiday that often causes people to have expectations.  Maybe someone expects flowers or chocolate (or both!!) or a fancy dinner out when Valentine’s Day rolls around.

Or maybe the expectation is to that you won’t do anything for each other –  and then you’re surprised when something really nice happens!

Unfulfilled expectations have been a problem for me at times.  But there’s one expectation that I hadn’t really thought about having until I read this quote.

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” ~Donald Miller

I don’t think I would ever have said out loud that I expect anyone here on earth to be perfect.  But the more I thought about it, I realized that maybe I do.

As with most things, I start with those closest to me, the ones who live in my house.  Do I expect my husband to read my mind about how I’m feeling today?  Do I think he’s going to always think, do, or say exactly what I think he should?

How about my children?  Do I expect that they will never make mistakes?  Am I totally surprised when they respond with a bad attitude or don’t keep their room as neat as I would like it?

If I put these expectations on my family, I’m going to be frustrated on a daily basis.  And I’m definitely going to have a hard time liking them!

This can extend to our friends or our coworkers.  We think, “Well, she let me down because she didn’t do this or remember this.”

If we can let go of what we expect of other people, the perfection we think they should have (or should at least be striving for!), we have a greater chance of liking them.  I want to like these people!  I want to appreciate my family, my friends – even strangers I meet – for who they are without piling my expectations on top of them.

I need to quit expecting them to never hurt my feelings, to always read my mind, to always do things my way.

We’re humans.  We’re going to disappoint each other.  And I certainly hope that no one is waiting around for me to be perfect!

I actually found this Donald Miller quote in Kay Wyma’s latest book, Not the Boss of Us: Putting Overwhelmed in Its Place in a Do-All Be-All World.   Kay takes it in a whole different direction.  She says this about his quote.  “...I think we can quickly agree with [it] – until we make ourselves the subject of that admonition.  As in ‘When you stop expecting [yourself] to be perfect, you can like [yourself] for who [you] are.'”

Do you expect yourself to be perfect?  Again, I don’t think this is something we would think to express, but perhaps in some way we do.

If we know Jesus, our desire is to do right as we follow Christ and have the Holy Spirit’s help.  But when our sin nature wins, as it will, we can be so hard on ourselves.

When we spout angry words or lose our patience or miss an opportunity to minister to someone, we can beat ourselves up.  And while we need to ask forgiveness, and make it right, we can also accept the fact that we’re not going to attain perfection here.

Each time, hopefully, we grow a little more and learn to be more Christ-like.  But that same grace we extend to others can trickle down to ourselves.

And maybe it’s not even a sin we’re talking about here.  Maybe we forgot to pack that note in our child’s lunchbox or missed sending a birthday card to a relative or even just burnt supper.

It’s okay.  We’re going to mess up those things, too.

So in the future, I want to work on releasing any expectations I’ve put on others to be perfect…and give myself that same gift.

Related posts:

Letting Go of Expectations and Entitlement

10 Simple But Powerful Pieces of Life Advice

5 Ways to Show Grace to Others

Do you consider yourself a conflict-avoider? Or are you someone who’s ready to address conflict head on?

I am squarely in the “avoid conflict at all cost” camp! However, even I know that sometimes we have to address conflict in our lives. If we have any relationships with other people, there’s going to be a disagreement at some point.

Even for those who don’t mind stepping into conflict, there’s usually a better way to handle it than just blindly going at it full force!

In 1 Samuel 25, we see a woman who wisely handles conflict. Even though her husband is the source of the conflict, she steps in and manages the situation well.

You likely know the story. Abigail’s husband, Nabal, has refused to give any supplies to David and his men despite their good treatment and protection of Nabal’s shepherds while they were in David’s area. David tells his men to arm themselves, and they set off to attack Nabal.

In the meantime, one of Nabal’s men goes to Abigail and tells her what’s going on. She immediately goes into action, gathers a large group of supplies, and sends servants ahead of her with the supplies to meet David. She follows.

Then comes the scene of her meeting face-to-face with David. Here’s where I find these three simple truths that can help us when we are involved in a conflict. (Let me say up front that these apply when dealing with typical conflict in an otherwise healthy relationship. If abuse or other harmful behavior is involved, this wouldn’t be the recommended solution.)

Enter the situation with an attitude of humility.

Verses 23 and 24 say, “And when Abigail saw David, she hasted, and lighted off the ass, and fell before David on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, And fell at his feet, and said, Upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be: and let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak in thine audience, and hear the words of thine handmaid.”

Abigail didn’t march up to David and accuse him of being on the warpath to attack her husband. She didn’t begin with a list of David’s faults and vent about how offended she was by him. No, she approached him in a humble manner.

She also didn’t blame anyone else. Certainly this conflict was all of Nabal’s making, but Abigail was willing to take the blame for what had happened.

Since I naturally struggle with pride, I need the reminder of Proverbs 13:10. “Only by pride cometh contention…” It’s going to be very hard to resolve a conflict if neither person is willing to set aside their pride. Let’s be the ones willing to humble ourselves and take the first step toward reconciliation.

Think through the best way to approach the situation before you start.

Abigail speaks to David in verses 30-31.

“And it shall come to pass, when the Lord shall have done to my lord according to all the good that he hath spoken concerning thee, and shall have appointed thee ruler over Israel; That this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself: but when the Lord shall have dealt well with my lord, then remember thine handmaid.”

Here Abigail points out to David what this rash act against Nabal could do to his reputation when he becomes king. Rather than allowing herself an emotional outburst, she speaks to him calmly and reasonably. She makes a logical appeal to David.

Sometimes an argument erupts quickly, but often conflict builds up over time. There’s an issue we need to address, but we keep putting it off. When the time is right to bring it up (which we’ll look at next), start by praying about and deciding on the best way to approach it. You likely know the personality and tendencies of the other individual. Use that to your advantage by planning a strategy to help them see ways the conflict could be resolved.

Timing is important.

Abigail went to meet David immediately because he was already on the way to attack Nabal. This was a matter of urgency, so she had to address the conflict right away.

However, when it came to dealing with Nabal, she decided to wait.

“And Abigail came to Nabal; and, behold, he held a feast in his house, like the feast of a king; and Nabal’s heart was merry within him, for he was very drunken: wherefore she told him nothing, less or more, until the morning light.“ (verse 36)

If I need to work through an issue with my husband, the best time is NOT when he first walks in the door after work. I’ll get a much better response if I wait until he’s had a chance to eat supper and wind down a bit from his day. And I think he knows that trying to resolve something with me is not best done at 6:30am when I’m making breakfast and packing lunches!

Here’s where we need the Holy Spirit to help us exercise some self-control. It can be natural to jump into a conversation, thinking that we’ll feel better if we can just get this problem off our chest. But the response will likely be better if we consider the best time to address the issue.

I admire how Abigail handled a conflict that wasn’t even of her own making. I hope that all of us, conflict avoiders or not, can learn from her wisdom!

Related posts:

• What Ruth Teaches Me About Trusting God
• Don’t Be a Fool: 5 Things to Avoid if You Want to Be Wise
• What Hannah Teaches Me About Prayer

Happy 2019!! I hope each one of you is enjoying a good start to the new year.

It’s a time of fresh beginnings and renewed purpose. Everywhere I look people are posting their goals, resolutions, and words for the year.

I’m honestly not feeling a lot of motivation for setting goals. And while I’ve occasionally chosen a word for the year, it’s not something I’ve done recently.

But this year, I’m going back to the word idea. I want a focus for this year, a way to make sure I’m accomplishing something worthwhile.

At first I thought choosing a word would be easy. With a daughter graduating high school and heading off to college in 2019, my word would be change.

Her life will change, but our lives here at home will change just as much. Beyond the bittersweet nature of her leaving, and knowing we will miss her, is how the change will effect our everyday lives.

As I thought about it, though, I realized that change is kind of a word that’s been chosen for me for 2019. I decided to actually choose a word on my own.

And that word is opportunity.

I wanted to twist the change that’s coming into an opportunity. Hopefully I’ll be encouraged to approach it in as positive a light as possible!

There are six areas in which I’d like to apply this word. In 2019, I’ll look for opportunities to…

~ grow in my walk with God. I’m recommitting to memorizing Bible verses, which I’d slacked off of in the last couple of years. I expect my trust and faith to be stretched with a daughter hundreds of miles away, so I need to always have God’s Word fresh in my mind!

~ serve others. This doesn’t come naturally for me, so I want to keep this idea in the forefront of my mind. It doesn’t have to be big or noteworthy; in fact, the little ways in which I can serve others can be the most meaningful.

~ share my faith. Another spiritual area where I desperately need to grow, especially in my boldness. I need to remember to pray for opportunities to tell others about Christ. He wants the gospel shared, so I believe He will open doors for me to do just that.

~ strengthen relationships. This starts with my immediate family. I want to intentionally do things with and for my husband. In the second half of the year, I’ll get to develop a new “long-distance” relationship when my older daughter goes off to college. Then I’ll also have lots of one-on-one time with our younger daughter!

Over the last few years, I’ve realized the value of friendships. Near the end of 2017, a lady invited me over to her house for coffee. We’d known each other for a long time, and saw each other occasionally, but weren’t close. We had such a good time that day just talking and catching up, that we decided to schedule another coffee date. Ever since then, we’ve gotten together once a month. It’s been such a blessing, and all because she took the time to reach out to me. I want to be that friend for someone else.

~ try new things. Okay, I really like staying in my comfort zone, but I want to get better at stepping outside of it. One of my husband’s Christmas gifts is helping me out here! He gave me a gift certificate so we could have a private lesson in ballroom dancing at a studio here in Charleston. This is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. We’d talked about taking lessons once the kids were grown and gone, but now we’ve moved that schedule up! He may be sorry since coordination isn’t a natural gift of mine, but I’m really looking forward to it!

~ use this blog to encourage others. I want to be more consistent in writing and putting out helpful content. I know I need to set some goals in this area to motivate me to do better.

Finally, I want to claim these verses for 2019, to meditate on them as I go throughout the year.

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee; because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength.” ~Isaiah 26:3,4

To live in peace as I trust in God, and to rely on His everlasting strength will make 2019 a great year!!

So that’s a lot about me in one post, but I hope you’ll find some encouragement here as you plan for the year ahead.

Let me know if you’ve chosen a word for 2019. Is there something specific you want to accomplish? I’d love to know what you’re planning for the upcoming year!