Girls To Grow

Nurturing moms in their walk with God

How to Improve Your Attitude in One Step

by 4 Comments

Happy March, friends! I would say we’re well on our way to spring now. We still have some chilly days ahead, but I’m definitely ready to pack up the boots and heavy sweaters.

Sunday was a fairly warm day here, and my daughter had a new dress she wanted to wear to church. She’d just bought it on Friday, and it needed a small alteration. [Insert fact about me: I don’t like to sew. Buttons, I can handle. Outside of that, I have little patience for it.]

My daughter said she would sew it – and I probably should have let her since she’s fairly handy with a needle. But I knew it would take some finagling for the dress to come out looking right. I’ve done this alteration before, and she hasn’t. Since I had a good twenty minutes before I needed to get ready for church, I figured it shouldn’t be a problem.

Well. The first try looked awful. On the second and third tries, I messed up a stitch near the beginning and didn’t realize it till I was almost done. Time was running out, and my daughter said she would just wear something else to church. But at this point, I was frustrated with myself and determined to get the job done.

I will spare you the rest of the details and just say that she wore the dress to church Sunday morning. But part of it was held together by clear shipping tape. (Yes, it’s true! And it survived the service!) I did sew the dress up properly on Sunday afternoon.

As you might imagine, my attitude in that moment was not the best – and it was my own fault. I was mad at myself for not being able to do it right. It should have taken me five minutes to complete, but I kept messing it up.

Many different things affect our attitude. We go through big, hard trials. We or someone we love is sick. A family member won’t communicate with us. Our every day emotions rise up and we feel mad or sad or hurt or helpless or discouraged. Some days we just get up on the wrong side of the bed!

All it takes is one adjustment to turn your attitude around.

So how can we change our attitude? I believe it boils down to one word.

Praise.

Most of the time I have an attitude problem because my focus is wrong. It’s on my circumstances or my feelings. I wrap myself up in self-pity or self-righteousness or self-condemnation.

Getting my focus off of myself and onto God can change my attitude. But I have to make the choice. It’s not easy because sometimes, as weird as it sounds, we like to indulge ourselves in our feelings. But nurturing that wrong attitude isn’t good.

So what does praising God mean? It’s us expressing our admiration of Him to Him. It can also involve expressing thanks and love to Him and showing our reverence for Him as Lord.

What better way to praise God than by saying His Word back to Him!

I will extol thee, my God, O king; and I will bless thy name for ever and ever.  Every day will I bless thee; and I will praise thy name for ever and ever.  Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; and his greatness is unsearchable.  ~Psalm 145:1-3

In a post later this month, we’ll talk more about Bible verses that praise God. Another way to praise God is through song. Here are five of my favorite classic hymns of praise.

It could be helpful for us to create a list of “praise” Bible verses to pull out when we sense that we need an attitude adjustment. A playlist of praise hymns would also be a great tool for directing our focus to God.

Occasionally I will skip my daily scheduled Bible reading and prayer and use that time to simply praise God.  After singing hymns of praise, I read praise passages in the Bible. 

What a difference the right attitude makes! Our homes and our relationships are better when we have a grateful heart that’s saturated in praise for our God.
  
The LORD is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works.  The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth.  My mouth shall speak the praise of the LORD: and let all flesh bless his holy name for ever and ever.  ~Psalm 145:17-18, 21

This month let’s make praising God a priority. Share a favorite praise passage or hymn if you have one!

Related posts:

5 Important Lessons to Teach Our Children Before They Leave Home

by 3 Comments

Welcome, friends! Here we are on the last Wednesday in February. It seems like the first two months of 2021 have flown by. I’ve mentioned that our younger daughter is a high school senior. I feel like the next three months until she graduates are going to go by even faster.

With her, all the “lasts” are the actual “lasts.” With our older daughter, I knew I’d get to do most of the things again with our younger daughter. I think it’s going to take some getting used to, my husband and I not planning our calendar around school or extracurricular activities. But I’m also excited about what this next season of life will look like!

As we finish up this month talking about our homes and families, I thought we could look into some of the lessons we want to teach our children before they leave our homes. I’m at one end of that spectrum, but you may be at the other! Perhaps you still have young children at home, and, Lord willing, a number of years to shepherd them before they leave.

I’ll go ahead and let you know that the first two lessons on the list are directly from my dad. He and my mom taught us four children many valuable lessons, but these are two of the ones I remember the most.

Five lessons parents can teach their children at home that will help them be successful in life.

1. Life’s not fair.

I recently got to share this lesson with a six-year-old in the children’s ministry I work at in our church on Wednesday nights. She complained that it wasn’t fair that she hadn’t yet gotten a turn to be the line leader. She loudly proclaimed to me and some of the other kids that “it’s not fair!” I don’t think my little talk about how life’s not fair impressed her very much, but maybe more stuck with her than I think! 🙂

Solomon has an interesting take on this in Ecclesiastes 9:11. “I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.“

We’re not to go around with a defeatist attitude or channeling our inner pessimist. We work hard and we do our best. But our children need to know that life’s not always fair. You’re going to get a bad call in a game. The part you want in the school play goes to someone else when you feel you were just as good. (That’s one from my own life experience.) The job promotion you believe you deserved goes to your co-worker.

Regardless of the situation, there will be times when life doesn’t seem fair…because it isn’t. And if we can help our children understand that fact ahead of time, they can hopefully be more prepared to deal with it.

2. Attitude is everything.

The earlier we learn this lesson, the happier we will be. We control very little in our lives, but our attitude we control 100%.

Every day we get to decide. Will we be grateful or discontent? Are we going to give that task we hate our best effort or just skim by? Do we sulk or pout when our feelings get hurt?

We also need to help our children see that the attitude we choose doesn’t just affect us. It affects others around us. Their day can be better or worse depending on the attitude we display.

It reminds me of Colossians 3:23. “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;” The work that we do and the attitude with which we do it should be a testimony to others that we’re seeking to serve the Lord.

3. It’s not all about me.

Goodness don’t we all know someone who’s self-centered? Children can naturally focus on having their needs and wants met. What a blessing if we can help them learn early on that they will have more joy and contentment if they put others first.

This covers a lot of ground – learning to share, taking turns, getting along with siblings. Just being part of a family and responsible for certain chores helps our kids learn that other people are important and the world doesn’t revolve around them.

“Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;” ~Romans 12:10

4. Work is good for you.

This can be a hard one because honestly, it’s often easier as a parent to just do the work yourself rather than battle with getting your child to do it – or making them do it over when it’s not done right the first time.

One of our girls was fairly self-motivated. She understood that if she’d jump in and get her work done, she could move on. The other one was more motivated to work if I worked alongside her. Regardless, we want them to know the feeling of completing a job and doing it well.

The fight against entitlement is real. We don’t want children who feel entitled to things just because they breathe air or live in our house. They don’t need everything handed to them. A good work ethic will take them a long way in life.

“In all labor there is profit, but the talk of the lips tendeth only to poverty.” ~Proverbs 14:23

5. Honesty is the only policy.

Not just when it’s convenient, but always tell the truth.

Do all children lie? Maybe not, but both of ours did at some point. Sometimes when they’re really young it’s almost funny because it’s so obvious. But there have been other times when I believe the Lord has revealed to us in some different ways that they weren’t telling the truth. And that’s a blessing! We want them to get caught when they’re dishonest so that we can deal with the issue.

Honesty’s always been a big deal in our home because without it, there’s no foundation for trust. If our girls do something wrong – and they will – we want them to come to us and confess it. There may still be consequences, but if we find out they lied about it – or we discover it through other sources – the consequences will likely be worse.

“Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but they that deal truly are His delight.” ~Proverbs 12:22

These five lessons can be good reminders for all of us. I know we haven’t done a perfect job teaching these to our girls. But I do hope the time we spent instilling truths in their lives will benefit them as they leave our home and step out on their own.

Related posts:

7 Prayers to Pray for Our Homes and Families in 2021

by 3 Comments

It appears that February 2021 will go down in the record books as a weird winter weather month! I’ve read about the frigid temperatures and snow in much of the country, even in places you don’t normally expect it. I hope you’re safe and warm wherever you are!

Our weather story has been rain, followed by rain, and then some more rain. We even had thunderstorms move through on Monday night – not a common occurrence here in February. As I write this on Tuesday, we’ve finally got sunshine – and there’s actually more of it in the forecast for tomorrow!

Moving on from the weather…This month on the blog we’ve been talking about our homes. Previous posts focused on how to keep traps out of our homes and discovering what makes our homes happy.

Today I want to talk about how we can pray for our homes and families, especially in our current culture. These seven ideas are based on Scripture. You could pray one of these prayers for your family each day of the week. Or you could choose one day to pray through all seven, making your home your prayer focus for that day.

I hope these remind all of us of the importance of praying for our homes and families. How thankful we can be for a God who hears and answers our prayers!

Here's a list of seven Bible-based prayers we can pray over our homes and families this year.

1. Pray that our homes will be built on a solid foundation of faith.

“Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.” ~Matthew 7:24-25

Hard times will come to our families. Your storm will look different than mine and different than your neighbors. And when those rains and floods come, we want our homes to still be standing when it’s all over. That can only happen as we build our house on the rock of God’s Word and live by it.

Prayer: Dear God, help us to build our home on You and Your Word. Give us ears and hearts to hear what the Bible says to us and the strength to live out its commands. May we base our decisions on Bible principles, seeking your guidance through prayer. When trials come, may our family be a testimony to our faith in you.

2. Pray for the courage to make Godly choices in your home regardless of what culture says or the choices others around you make.

“And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” ~Joshua 24:15

It seems like every day it becomes clearer that following God or following the world system and its philosophies are in direct opposition. While we’re to be good citizens in the world, we’re not to buy into beliefs that go against what God teaches us in His Word. In his day, Joshua made it clear where he and his family stood.

Prayer: God, give us the courage to make a stand as a family to do right. May we do it as a way to honor you, in a spirit of love and mercy for those who don’t know you, so we can be a light shining brightly in a world that is dark with sin.

3. Pray for our homes to be marked by love and unity.

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” ~1 Corinthians 13:4-7

This one gets kind of personal! Sometimes it’s easier to love people outside our homes because we don’t know them and their faults nearly as well as we do the people who live inside our homes.

We know the characteristics of love from the passage above. It’s patient, kind, not jealous, selfless, not easily provoked, believes the best about the other person, longsuffering. Just reading through the list reminds me how often I fall short of loving my family well.

Yet our homes can be characterized by love, even though we’ll have children – and adults – who disagree. We can speak our love and we can show it through our actions.

Prayer: Lord, let love characterize our home. When children argue, when parents disagree, convict our hearts. Don’t let us get caught up in having to be right or only be concerned about getting our own way. May we cultivate a love within our family that flows over into the lives of others as a testimony to the love you have for each one of us.

4. Pray that God will protect your home from evil.

“But the Lord is faithful, who shall stablish you, and keep you from evil.” ~2 Thessalonians 3:3

We talked about some of the harmful things that can enter our homes in a post earlier this month. Blatant sin, like pornography, brings evil directly into our homes. But we also want to pray that God will keep our family from the subtle influences that may seem harmless at first, but can lead to real problems.

Prayer: God, please protect our home from evil. Don’t let Satan gain a foothold in any of our lives. Help us to guard against temptation, especially in areas where we know we’re weak. We know that greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world. [1 John 4:4] May your Holy Spirit keep our hearts tender and sensitive to those things that would lead us into sin.

5. Pray for wisdom to build your home and guide your family.

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” ~Proverbs 14:1

I definitely want to be the wise woman, not the foolish one! We can build up our homes by loving and encouraging those in our family, and by following Biblical principles.

According to James 1:5, wisdom is ours for the asking. I often face situations that I don’t know how to deal with. But God has the wisdom I need and He willingly makes it available to me.

Prayer: God, I need your wisdom to build my home in a way that’s pleasing to you. Help me remember to pray for that wisdom before I give correction or advice to my children. Your Word provides direction, so bring appropriate verses to my mind when I’m not sure what to do. Thank you that you’re always willing to give wisdom when I ask for it.

6. Pray that God will bless and protect each one in your family, that He will be gracious to them and give them peace.

“The Lord bless thee, and keep thee: the Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The Lord lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.” ~Numbers 6:24-26

This is my favorite passage to pray over my husband and our girls. In fact, I have a print of these verses hanging on a wall in our living area.

Prayer: Lord, bless my daughter/son/spouse today. Protect her mind, her heart and her body. May your face shine on her. Please show her your grace as she goes through her day. Watch over her and give her your peace in her spirit.

7. Praise God for how He provides for and blesses our homes as we trust in Him.

“Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;” ~1 Timothy 6:17

What a blessing our families can be! It’s a privilege to grow together spiritually, to become friends with our adult children, to see our children learn lessons and mature, to experience how we as parents become better people because we’ve learned from our children.

Prayer: Dear God, thank you for the gift of a home and a family. One day we’ll know the full experience of a family when we’re all in Heaven with you. Thank you that we can have a tiny taste of that here as we learn and grow with ones we love so much.

May we use the gift of prayer to intercede with our Heavenly Father on behalf of our homes and families so that together, we can bring glory to God.

Related posts:

What Makes A Happy Home?

by 3 Comments

We’re ten days into February and I’m ready to declare it the “winteriest” of the winter months, at least for 2021! I’m actually writing this post on Monday, which has been mostly sunny and warmer, but I see more gray skies and rain ahead in our weather forecast.

These cold, wet days naturally lead to lots of time inside at home. What comes to your mind when you think of that word – home? Is it a particular house you lived in growing up? Does it bring to the surface emotions that make you feel safe and secure – or the opposite? Are there certain people you always associate with that word?

No matter what your living situation, most of us live in a home of some sort. It could be a camper, an apartment, or a single family house. Your home could contain just one person, include a roommate, or be multi-generational.

Regardless of our home’s physical characteristics or the makeup of people, we all want our home to be a place we want to be. Somewhere that’s comfortable, welcoming, and peaceful.

Part of what creates that feeling is being surrounded by things we enjoy. For my family, that means lots of books, some pictures on the walls, and photos of family and places we’ve visited. But if filling the rooms with stuff made for a happy home, we could all create one fairly easily.

Happy homes are more than comfy sofas and pretty pictures on the walls. This list of ingredients can make our homes a happy place to be.

But a happy home is so much more than that. I’m sure we could come up with a long list of ingredients for a happy home, but here are some I think are important.

1. Love for God

This is the basis for a truly happy home. Can unsaved people have a happy home at times? I think so. But if our home is going to have an overall sense of peace and joy, even when times are tough, our faith will be our home’s foundation.

2. Love for each other

This doesn’t mean kids won’t fight or that husbands and wives won’t have disagreements. But deep down, we all know we’re for each other. We may not like each other all the time, but love is always present. Simply put, we can’t be selfish and expect our home to be happy.

3. Respect

Family members need to respect each other’s time, possessions, and differences. This means we have some ground rules like you can’t borrow your sister’s things without asking. And when we disagree, we don’t yell at each other. We respect the other person enough to talk it through – even if we need some time to cool down first.

4. Shared interests

For us this is Hallmark mystery movies and card games and skillet chocolate chip cookies with vanilla ice cream 🙂 It can also be a favorite sports team you follow or a book author you all like to read or a hobby you do together.

5. Open communication and clear expectations

Make honesty non-negotiable. Talk a little and listen a lot. And those expectations in your head that you never communicate to your family – you shouldn’t be upset when they’re not met.

As a wife and mom, I’m learning that a happy home starts with me and my attitude. No matter how fluffy the pillows or how plush the carpet, if I’m grumpy or “out of sorts,” our home will not be pleasant for anyone.

Seeing my family members as people I can serve for Jesus makes a huge difference. The tasks that I do – from folding laundry to scrubbing the shower to cooking supper – are not just acts of service for my family, but beyond that, they’re done for the Lord. 

As Colossians 3:17 reminds me, “And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by Him.” This doesn’t just apply to my Bible study time or the ministry I serve in at church. “Whatsoever ye do” covers packing my husband’s lunch, vacuuming crumbs off the floor, or washing the dishes.

Let’s be real – no home is totally happy 100% of the time. But there can be an ongoing undercurrent of contentment and satisfaction. With God’s help, my attitude can be one of service and selflessness, and our home can be a place of peace and happiness for my family.

Home interprets heaven. Home is heaven for beginners. ~Charles Henry Parkhurst

What other ingredients do you think it takes to make a happy home?

Related posts:

Are We Keeping Traps Out of Our Homes?

by 4 Comments

Happy first week of February! We’ve got a fairly full month ahead of us. Our senior daughter finishes up her high school cheerleading career and prepares for her last fine arts competition (which is virtual this year).

We’re also trying to plan ahead for a summer vacation, but covid restrictions are making that quite interesting. We’d initially looked at traveling internationally, but that changed last month. Now we’re checking out locations that offer a good mix of options for our one activity-loving and our other leisure-loving daughters 🙂

I briefly mentioned here on the blog our exciting (ahem) VRBO we stayed at last summer. Our younger daughter found a snake on the stairs leading from the lower level to the main floor. (Yes, there was screaming involved.) Then all four of us spotted a mouse (or more likely several different mice) on all three floors of the house.

The owner of the house did send an exterminator who put out a few of those sticky traps to catch the mice. (We, as in my husband and our older daughter’s boyfriend, took care of the snake ourselves.) As to the mouse traps…first of all, there was nothing in those traps to attrace the mice – certainly nothing as good as what was on the kitchen counters. And secondly, I’m not even sure the mouse I saw could have fit into one of those little traps! Needless to say, no mice were caught while we finished our stay at the house.

In that instance, the traps were totally ineffective. But real traps – those made to trick and deceive – can be very effective. The kind of traps I’m thinking of are those temptations that slip into our lives and homes and lead us into sin. And if we’re not careful, we can fall prey to them.

In the second chapter of Judges, the angel of the Lord rebukes the children of Israel for making leagues (alliances) with the heathen inhabitants of Canaan. In the third verse, he says that because of their failure to remove these people, he will allow them to “be as thorns in your sides, and their gods shall be a snare unto you.”

There’s a real application here for our homes. You see, the Israelites failed to recongize the consequences of not ridding their environment of things that would cause them and their children to be tempted to sin.

Let's keep an eye on the things we allow into our homes so that we can protect our families from the temptation to sin.

I began to wonder if there were any areas in which I have unknowingly allowed worldly ideas or philosophies into my home. Could anything here be a snare to my family and perhaps entice them to sin?

Let’s be clear that each one of us is responsible for our own actions. We should know ourselves well enough to set boundaries in areas where we’re weak and prone to sin. But I also feel, in a way, that I can be a gatekeeper. I can ask God for discernment to allow only the best things into our home.

So what kind of snares should we be watching out for in our homes? Here are a few ideas.

Media

This area came to mind first. Are the books, music, movies, or television programs that come into our homes drawing us away from our relationship with God? It could be because of the content – bad language, inappropriate situations, or anti-Christian viewpoints. Or it could just be the amount of time we spend on those things that could be used in better ways.

I suppose we could lump our smartphones into this category as well. The purpose of this post is not to specifically discuss boundaries on social media, games, or other information we access on our phones. However, it’s certainly an area in which we can be easily tempted.

Worldly philosophies

One reason to monitor our media choices is that they affect our thoughts. Our ideology can come from what we see or hear repeatedly, so we have to be careful that we’re basing our beliefs on God’s Word. If we’re getting our opinions from Facebook, the news, another person (even a “spiritual leader”), and not checking those ideas against Bible truth, we can easily fall into a pattern of worldly thinking.

Sinful attitudes

It gets very personal here! Is there an attitude I portray that is negative or sinful? Maybe it’s discontentment, ingratitude, anger, or a critical spirit. And I’ve noticed that those attitudes are very contagious! If I fall into that trap, I’m probably going to take someone else in the house with me. We need to ask the Holy Spirit to help us recognize when our minds are headed in the wrong direction.

Putting other things before God

This could be work, a hobby, friends, a place we go – things that are good in and of themselves, but not when we put them ahead of God. Or maybe we just go our own way. We make decisions based on what we want, and fail to seek God’s guidance.

This isn’t an exhaustive list, but just some ideas to get you thinking. But let’s end with a few practical ways to avoid traps in our homes.

Let’s practice 1 Thessalonians 5:17. “Pray without ceasing.” As we go through our day, let’s have a heart attitude that drives us to prayer when we need guidance.

In the words of Philippians 1:9-10, let’s “approve things that are excellent.” Just as we wouldn’t feed our families a steady diet of junk food, let’s make sure that what we allow to nourish their hearts and minds is healthy.

And when we recognize that we may not be noticing the traps around us, let’s seek to have our “senses exercised to discern both good and evil.” [Hebrews 5:14] Sometimes things that seem innocent on the surface can be harmful. As we pray and delve into Scripture, God can reveal those traps to us.

Like me, you want your home to be one that honors Christ. Let’s be vigilant to watch out for and remove any traps that might be present!

Related posts:

3 Places to Find God’s Goodness When Life is Hard

by 4 Comments

As I write this post on a late January afternoon, it’s partly cloudy outside and temps are in the low 70s. Winter days here in coastal South Carolina can be unpredictable, but I’ll take this one for sure!

I know a lot of people who are carrying heavy loads in this first month of 2021. I mentioned that we’ve already been to two funerals, and have other friends who’ve lost loved ones. We know people who’ve had surgeries, hospitalizations, received a cancer diagnosis, or dealt with covid. None of us are exempt from trials.

In my Friday e-mail to blog subscribers, I included a video where I talked about part of our journey expecting an anencephalic baby. [If you’re not signed up to receive those e-mails, you can do that here.] Since we’ve been looking at God’s goodness on the blog this month, I hoped to encourage you by sharing a time in my life when God’s goodness was particularly evident.

Today I wanted to dig into this a little more. When we’re going through a difficult time, it may not be natural to immediately focus on God’s goodness. But if we can, it’s always there for us to see. It can change our perspective on the situation and give us hope going forward.

When life is hard, we can still see God's goodness in our lives in these three ways.

Three ways we see God’s goodness in our trials are through…

1. His grace

Like His unexplainable peace, God’s grace is always there to sustain us. It’s such a comfort to know that whatever comes, He will give us grace to meet the need.

In our case, it arrived when well-meaning strangers saw that I was pregnant and excitedly asked questions about the baby. They had no idea that she would never take a breath on her own on this earth.

We needed grace as other couples around us were choosing furniture for their nursery while we chose a gravesite. And His grace brought me through a difficult delivery and allowed us to hold our stillborn baby.

Does God’s grace mean that there weren’t hard days? Of course not. But His grace sustained us and brought us through that trial. We came to a place of knowing His goodness that we’d never have reached without it.

“But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.” ~1 Peter 5:10

2. His gifts

Can there really be gifts in a trial? Yes, so many! Among the greatest were our ob/gyn who fully supported our decision to continue the pregnancy. Our labor and delivery nurse in the hospital was unbelievably kind and caring. Family, friends, and church members prayed for and supported us.

While we may not have seen it at the time, God used this trial to knit my husband and me together. We gained a common confidence in the goodness of God. What a gift that was! It’s a lesson that has stood us in good stead over the 23 years since this happened.

God’s gifts can be people or financial provision or deliverance from a situation that only He could have orchestrated. Regardless of the form it takes, there are always gifts from God that demonstrate His unfailing goodness.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” ~James 1:17

3. His guidance

After our baby was born, I needed to go back to work. I’d given up my teaching job before we received our baby’s diagnosis since I thought I’d be staying home with a baby. God opened the door to a wonderful administrative position in a hospital system that was a blessing for the next three years. That experience would never have unfolded if not for the trial we’d been through.

In every difficulty we face, there are decisions to make. We won’t always know what to do. But as we pray and seek God through His Word, we can trust that He will guide us into what is best for us because He is good.

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.” ~Psalm 37:23

Have you’ve experienced God’s goodness for yourself? I hope the verses we looked at in last week’s post cement in your soul the truth that He is a good God. Whether life is smooth or today is hard, let’s look for His goodness in His grace, His gifts, and His guidance.

[If you’d like to read our full story about our daughter Angel, I wrote a blog post series on it called Our Story of God’s Goodness and Grace.]

Related posts:

10 Things We Can Know About God’s Goodness

by 6 Comments

Our life is changing again this week. Our older daughter heads back to college on Friday. She’s ready and I know it will be good for her to get back to her life and schedule there. What’s hard is knowing that the next time she leaves, her younger sister will be going, too! But, as the saying goes, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

This month I’ve been sharing posts that focus on God’s goodness. His unchanging goodness is one of His character qualities that gives me such comfort and peace. Would I want to trust a God who’s only good some of the time? Of course not! But because our God is good all the time, I can trust Him in every situation.

Today I wanted to list out ten things we can know about God’s goodness based on Scripture.

We can trust God because He is good. Here are 10 things we can know about His goodness based on Scripture.

1. God’s goodness doesn’t run out.

“…The Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth,” ~Exodus 34:6

We can’t use it up or age out of it. God’s goodness is plentiful and always more than enough for us.

2. No one is exempt from God’s goodness.

“The Lord is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.” ~Psalm 145:9

None of us deserve God’s goodness, but He extends it to everyone. There’s no favoritism or partiality involved. His goodness is just part of His nature.

3. Every good thing we have comes from God.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” ~James 1:17

All good gifts come from God. Whether it’s material blessings, good health, or a loving family, they’re all sent to us from His hand.

4. Trusting in God’s goodness sustains us.

“I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” ~Psalm 27:13

There’s plenty in our world right now to discourage us. Yet we need to have a firm belief in God’s goodness. Not that every act happening around us is good, but we as Christians fundamentally know that God is in control. Believe His promises and trust in His providence.

5. It’s good to reflect on God’s goodness in our lives.

“They shall abundantly utter the memory of thy great goodness, and shall sing of thy righteousness.” ~Psalm 145:7

How powerful it is to look back over all the times God’s been good – how many there are! – and reflect on them. It encourages us in our faith.

6. As we trust God in all things, we can experience God’s goodness in our lives.

“O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.” ~Psalm 34:8

This doesn’t mean life will always be easy, but if we’re willing to step out in faith and trust God, we will know His goodness is real. In fact, sometimes it’s through a trial that we’re brought face to face with how good He is.

7. Because of His goodness, God is worthy of our praise.

“Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.“~Psalm 100:4-5

We would be very remiss not to praise God for His abundant goodness. Let’s thank God privately and also publicly as we’re given an opportunity.

8. Because God is good, we can run to Him in our troubles.

“The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knows those who trust in Him.” ~Nahum 1:7

We don’t have to worry about God’s response when difficulty comes. Because He is good, He will be a refuge and shelter for us.

9. God has goodness stored up for His children.

“Oh how great is thy goodness, which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men!” ~Psalm 31:19

God has goodness waiting for us here and now as well as in heaven. When the time is right, He releases this treasure into our lives. It’s exciting to consider that He has even more special grace and favor ahead for us!

10. Because God is good, we can trust Him to lead us.

“Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.” ~Psalm 143:10

We wouldn’t trust someone to lead us unless we’re confident that they have our best interest at heart. And God always does. We can follow Him without reservation.

As we go through the rest of our week, let’s spend some time meditating on the goodness of God.

Related posts:

When What Seems Bad Can Actually Be Good

by 6 Comments

Here we are, firmly entrenched in this new year of 2021. Last year is definitely in the rear view mirror. My hope and optimism for this new year are still fairly strong!

Last week we talked about how our definition of “good” is subjective. For us, saying, “life is good” usually means we’re happy and don’t have any troubles. And that’s a nice place to be!

But going through hard or “bad” things is a part of life. Another person says hurtful things to or about us. A loved one passes away. We lose a job or struggle to pay our bills. Maybe we or one of our children develops a health need. These are all serious issues that are difficult to deal with and we have no control over many of them. But one part of them we can control is our perspective.

As I reflected on how we can properly view the bad times in life, I was reminded of the story of Joseph. The patterns in his life remind me of ours.

He’s the favorite child of Jacob, his dad. Life is good.

His jealous brothers throw him in a pit, then sell him to traveling merchants. Life is bad.

He’s taken in as a slave in a prominent man’s house and, through hard work and God’s blessing, he’s put in charge of everything the man owns. Life is good.

The man’s wife falsely accuses Joseph and he’s thrown into prison. Life is bad.

I could go on, but you get the picture. Joseph’s life was just like ours is – full of seasons that change, full of “bad” times and “good” ones.

But what’s convicting to me is that Joseph didn’t change. As far as we can tell, no matter whether his circumstances appeared good or bad, he continued to trust God.

So what kept him going through the hard seasons? Here are three things that gave him a proper perspective of good and bad events in his life.

Three lessons we can learn from Joseph's life to help us keep going when life's circumstances seem bad

Patience.

Remember when Joseph interpreted the dreams of the butler and the baker? After telling the butler that he’d be restored to his former position, Joseph asked him to tell his story to Pharaoh.

Once the butler, as predicted, left prison, I wonder how long it took for Joseph’s hope to fade. Did he spend that first week listening for the outer door to open? Every time the keeper of the prison called his name, did he think there was a messenger sent to get him out? After a month of nothing changing, was he discouraged?

We don’t know what was happening in his mind, but we do know exactly how long Joseph had to wait.

“And it came to pass at the end of two full years…” ~Genesis 41:1

Joseph waited on God for two years to get out of prison. But did Joseph learn lessons during those two years that he wouldn’t have learned if he’d been pulled out of prison and returned to his family? We can’t know for sure. Yet I believe that God puts us in specific places for a particular time period to teach us lessons like trusting Him. (Know that this is easy to write but much harder to remember when we’re actually in one of these times!)

Faithfulness to his duties.

Whether in Potiphar’s house or in prison, Joseph didn’t give in and sit around having a pity party. I have to believe that he had hard days when the difficulty or unjustness of his situation overwhelmed him.

But everywhere he went, we see Joseph working hard and prospering.

“And his master saw that the Lord was with him, and that the Lord made all that he did to prosper in his hand. And Joseph found grace in his sight, and he served him: and he made him overseer over his house, and all that he had he put into his hand.” ~Genesis 39:3-4

“But the Lord was with Joseph, and shewed him mercy, and gave him favour in the sight of the keeper of the prison. And the keeper of the prison committed to Joseph’s hand all the prisoners that were in the prison; and whatsoever they did there, he was the doer of it.” ~Genesis 39:21-11

When it seems like we’re in the midst of a bad time, let’s keep being faithful. Let’s continue doing our best in service to the Lord.

Serving others.

So when the baker and the butler ended up in the prison where Joseph was, he helped them. I might have been tempted to say, “Listen, I realize this is bad for you, but let me tell you all I’ve been through.”

Instead, he noticed they were sad, and reached out to them. “And he asked Pharaoh’s officers that were with him in the ward of his lord’s house, saying, Wherefore look ye so sadly today?” ~Genesis 40:7

I think we all know that we can gain a better perspective on our own problems when we look for someone else in need and try to help them. It’s like the old acronym for JOY – Jesus, Others, You.

You and I don’t stress when we see Joseph thrown into a pit by his brothers. We’re not overly concerned when the merchants drag him off to Egypt. We don’t wonder what’s going to happen because we know how it all turns out just a few pages later. We know that Joseph will say to his brothers in Genesis 50:20, “But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.“

But Joseph didn’t have any of that information in real-time. And right now, you and I don’t know the end of our story. But God does. Even the parts we see as bad, He’s in control of those, too.

So we have a choice. Our perspective can make all the difference. Let’s be patient, be faithful, and serve those around us. And as we trust Him, let’s believe that when our last chapter is finished, God will have written the just-right ending to our story.

Related posts:

How Can We Know God Will Be Good to Us in 2021?

by 6 Comments

Here we are, partway through the first full week of 2021. I’m excited about the year ahead. Hopefully, we’re all still on track with our goals at this point!

However, I know that just because one year rolled into the next, none of our trials or troubles just automatically disappeared. We’re likely carrying over some fears or disappointments from last year. Perhaps we don’t see a lot of hope ahead, even with 2020 behind us. Maybe we’ve even questioned whether God will be good to us in the coming months.

I believe we can definitely say that He will!

Let’s start this discussion with how we define “good.” Here’s a parenting example that might help.

As a child (okay, so maybe this is still the case!), one of my daughters would have thought it was “good” to eat only dessert for every meal with a few candy snacks between those meals for good measure! But while that would have fulfilled her physical desire in the moment, it would in no way be good for her overall health. As her mom, I knew more than she did as a four-year-old. Hence, fruits and vegetables appeared on her plate more often than chocolate ice cream.

In the same way, what we deem as “good” for us isn’t always seen that way by a God who is much wiser than we are. He alone knows what is truly good for us. What He allows into our lives – some of which we may not see as good – is ultimately what is best for us. Those things will help us grow into the person that He would have us to be.

So how do we know we can trust God to be good to us in 2021? Here are three reasons.

Here are three reasons we can know that God will be good to us in the coming year.

His Word tells us so.

“Oh how great is thy goodness, which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men!” ~Psalm 31:19

Isn’t it neat to think about God storing up goodness for us, His beloved children?! So many of those things will be received by us as blessings straight from His hand. It could be financial gain, good health, a steady job, the love of family, His clear guidance, and so many other things.

Over and over in the Bible, we’re told that God is good. Not only that, but we also read stories of His goodness to His people.

Think of the life of Joseph. God was good to him and blessed him throughout his life. Did being sold as a slave or unjustly imprisoned seem good? No, not in the moment. But look at how God used him to preserve the lives of his countrymen as well as his own family.

Remember what he told his brothers in Genesis 50:20? “But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.“

Here are a couple more verses that tell us God is good.

“The Lord is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.” ~Psalm 145:9

“O give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good; for his mercy endureth forever.” ~1 Chronicles 16:34

God has been good to us in the past.

“O Lord, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth.” ~Isaiah 25:1

Every one of us has lived through hard times. Yet not one of us can say that God hasn’t been faithful.

This is one reason why I love keeping a gratitude journal. Even before I got as old as I am, my memory was short! I get into a trial and forget what God did previously in a similar situation. But when it’s written down, I can read back through how He worked in the past and trust that He’ll do the same in the present.

I like this quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson.

“All I have seen teaches me to trust the creator for all I have not seen.“

Here are a couple more verses that encourage us to recall God’s goodness.

“I will remember the works of the Lord: surely I will remember thy wonders of old. I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings.” ~Psalm 77:11-12

“O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.” ~Psalm 34:8

God has a plan to prosper us.

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” ~Romans 8:28

I’ve sometimes avoided this verse because it feels overused. It’s like we trot it out to give people comfort when something “bad” comes into their lives. But it’s God’s Word, so it’s one hundred percent true.

ALL things work together for good in God’s economy. He only wants what’s best for us. In the long run, He wants us to flourish spiritually and in every other area of our lives.

Not a one of us could have foretold what 2020 would look like. But God knew. And in each individual case, He had a plan.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” ~Jeremiah 29:11

Will things that we deem “bad” continue to happen in 2021? I’d say that’s almost a guarantee. But from God’s perspective, all of it can be His blessing and through His grace, it works for our good and His glory.

Related posts:

What Lessons Have You Learned in 2020?

by 3 Comments

This has been a year for the history books!

Recently I found a template to create a list of “Things to Grieve” and “Things to Celebrate” from the past year. After filling it out, it was obvious that even with the hard parts of 2020, my “celebrate” list was a good bit longer than the “grieve” list.

At the top of my “grieve” list was my dad’s passing on to Heaven early in the year. That was followed by some activities our girls missed out on along with canceled trips and other plans that had to be adjusted.

But in spite of all that, there were many, many things to celebrate. Steady jobs and more family time, Friday afternoon outings with my husband, the trips we did get to take, along with some normalcy that came with our girls’ schooling this fall.

Before entering a new year, I like to review the past one. As 2020 comes to a close, I especially wanted to pull out some lessons I’ve learned in this unprecedented (way over-used word of the year!) time. Maybe you can identify with some of these!

10 Lessons I've Learned in 2020

1. I have very little control over the big things in life.

This includes most any type of pre-arranged plans, travel, health, or politics. I can pray and make decisions based on the information I have, but ultimately a lot of life is out of my control.

2. I have lots of control over the little things in life.

By that, I mean that I control a lot in my personal life. I get to choose my attitude in every situation. My response to a trial is totally up to me. Being grateful, praying, helping others – those are all things I can decide to do…or not.

3. I can always find things for which to be thankful.

There’s been less traffic on the road when our daughter drives to school in the mornings. We went through a time earlier this year when family game nights were more common. That empty seat between passengers on an airplane row is pretty sweet! We all had some trying moments this year, but we also continued to receive blessings from God.

4. Spending time outside is good for my physical and mental health.

I’ve probably taken more steps this year than in any year before! It’s become a habit to walk in our neighborhood five or six days a week. Back in the spring, my husband was able to take off work early on Friday afternoons, and we’d find a new place to walk or hike each week. All of this has been so good for helping me keep a more positive mindset.

5. It’s nice to have online church services as an option, but there’s nothing like meeting together with fellow believers in person.

There’s something to be said, on occasion, for watching church services from the comfort of your couch. But it didn’t take long to miss gathering as a community to worship.

6. I miss traveling.

We had to cancel the cruise we had planned in June. Thankfully we did get to take more local trips, but I’m ready to plan something bigger!

7. I can survive a vacation rental house with mice and a snake.

So yeah, on one of those trips we took, we found a snake on the indoor stairs leading from one level of the house to the next. And a mouse (or likely more than one) was seen on all three levels at different times by all four of us! Safe to say that’s one VRBO we won’t be staying at again!!

8. I didn’t always appreciate “normal” like I should have.

Normal was going to basketball games in a packed gym. It was counting on there being school tomorrow, not wondering if too many COVID cases would close it down. I don’t know what “normal” will look like going forward, but I hope I remember to be grateful for it!

9. Heaven is an even sweeter place the more it’s populated by people I love.

No question – to see Jesus is the ultimate joy of Heaven! Yet every year, more people that I know and love are going there. I have two children there, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and now my dad. As much as we miss him, what a blessing that he got to spend 2020 in Heaven!

10. I don’t know what 2021 will bring, but I pray that it leads me closer to Jesus.

We certainly hope it will be a better year in terms of fewer restrictions and COVID issues. But as my brother mentioned in his sermon on Sunday, any year that sees us growing spiritually is a good one. May the choices that we make in the year ahead cause us to grow in our faith.

What lessons has 2020 taught you? Do any of these ring true with you? Let me know in the comments or via e-mail.

In Friday’s e-mail, I’ll share the top ten most popular blog posts from Girls to Grow for the past year. If you’re not subscribed to e-mail updates, click here to sign up.

Wishing each of you a very happy and blessed New Year!!

Related posts: