Girls To Grow

Nurturing moms in their walk with God

10 Things You Can Do Today to Be Encouraged

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How are you feeling today? In this instance, I’m not talking about your physical health, but more about your emotions.

One day recently I was feeling a little blue, as they say. There was no reason for it, that I knew of. I just wasn’t my usual happy self 🙂

Maybe you can relate if you occasionally have days when you’re a little down and aren’t really sure why. It could be that you’ve had lots of changes happening in your life and it’s a bit overwhelming. Or maybe nothing changes ever and that’s left you rather glum. Perhaps it’s a health struggle or a relationship breakdown or just a case of realizing you’re not getting any younger!

Whatever brings about those days, I would guess that many of us have them. But we don’t want to stay in that unhappy place. And we can’t just count on our circumstances changing to make us feel better. Sometimes we have to step up and encourage our own selves.

It may not be what we actually feel like doing, but it can be what we need to do to turn our mindset around. So if you’re looking for ways to find encouragement, something on this list of ten actions could be helpful. We likely know most of these but it’s always good to be reminded of ways we can encourage ourselves.

Check out this list of ten things you can do to encourage yourself when you're feeling a little down.

1. Go to God’s Word.

Read it. Dive into the Psalms – many of them are short and so relatable when we’re struggling. Choose one verse and write it out.

As you have time, dig deeper into a verse or passage. You could even turn it into your own prayer to the Lord.

2. Pray.

We can pour out every thought, every hurt, and every emotion to God. He hears and is merciful and compassionate.

3. Give thanks.

Just look around and notice all that you have to be grateful for. Write out a few of your blessings every day.

4. Praise God.

Turn on music that is uplifting. Sing some songs out loud while you work around the house or drive in your car.

5. Meditate on God’s promises.

If you know there’s a particular worry or fear that’s getting you down, find a promise of God that addresses that issue.

Is it a financial strain? “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:19

Need guidance? “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” ~Proverbs 3:5-6

You can also focus your mind on God’s character. For example, read through these six truths about God from Psalm 145 and choose one to meditate on today.

6. Do something for someone else.

Do something small – a text that says, “I’m thinking of you” – or mail a handwritten note. Or do something that takes a little more of a time commitment – make someone a meal or stop by and visit someone who’s currently homebound.

7. Surround yourself with encouraging people.

Reach out to a friend and ask her to pray for you. Head to a church service where you can connect with fellow believers.

8. Read good books that will encourage your heart.

Find biographies of Godly women or search for Christian books that will help you learn more and grow in your faith.

9. Set a small goal to accomplish each day.

Many times we feel better when we have a sense of accomplishment. Determine a small thing you’d like to do – it could be taking a walk outside or exercising or straightening up one area in your house. Tackle it early in the day so that you can cross it off your list and get that little win.

10. Find something to be excited about in the future.

Put an event on your calendar in the next few weeks that you can look forward to. Lunch with a friend, a pedicure, a visit to a craft store for new supplies for your hobby, a walk in a new-to-you park or part of town. Then take care of any planning ahead of time so that you’re ready for your adventure when the time comes.

When you have one of those “feeling blue” days, I hope you’ll choose one or more of these things to do and end the day encouraged!

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10 Helpful Bible Study Resources for Women

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Hello, friends! Taking a quick mid-summer break from our usual content to share some resources that I think you might find helpful.

This list includes Bible studies, books, devotionals, and a journal. I (or, in one case, my daughter) have personally used all 10 of these items and would recommend them. Click through the links provided to check them out!

Check out these Bible studies, devotionals and other resources that help Christian women learn and grow in their faith.

Amazon affiliate links are included below. I earn a small commission from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

1. The Armor of God by Priscilla Shirer. One of my favorite Bible studies ever!

2. Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss. It may seem strange to have a fiction book on this list, but I learn so much from it each time I read it. (I try to re-read this book on a regular basis.) The main character’s struggles so perfectly mirror my own in my walk with God. As I see how she gains victory in her life, I’m encouraged to do the same in mine.

3. Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin. The subtitle of this book is, “How to study the Bible with both our hearts and minds.” This book is a very practical help if you want to learn more about digging into God’s Word.

4. Becoming Elisabeth Elliot by Ellen Vaughn. I actually just finished this book recently. It’s a biography of the first half of Elisabeth Elliot’s life. The author gives a realistic view of Elliot’s struggles using many excerpts from her journals.

5. A Woman of Prayer by Betty Henderson. This was a very helpful Bible study on prayer, a subject I always want to learn more about.

6. 3-Minute Devotions for Teen Girls by April Frazier. I actually bought this for one of my daughters in her mid-teen years and she enjoyed it.

7. The Next Right Thing Guided Journal by Emily P. Freeman. I’m on my second of these journals – I filled one up in 2021 and started the next one in January of this year. However, you can begin the journal at any point in the year. It’s grouped by seasons and you just fill in the dates as you go.

8. Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot. I like this book for its encouragement, but I also like how it’s set up. The “chapters” are short so that it’s easy to read one a day along with my Bible reading.

9. Then Sings My Soul: 150 of the World’s Greatest Hymn Stories by Robert J. Morgan. At one point I used this as part of my devotional time in the mornings. I’d read one story a day after I finished my Bible reading.

10. Sweet Journey by Teri Maxwell. The link here is for the kindle version or you can go here to order the paperback version, which is what I have. A friend at church gifted me a copy years ago and it was a blessing.

Thanks for stopping by the blog today. Let me know in the comments if there’s a resource that’s been a help to you as you study the Bible. Have a great Tuesday!

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10 Ways to Build a Relationship with Your Teenager

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Hello friends! I’m back on the blog after a week away for our family vacation. We spent a couple of days exploring Philadelphia, which was fun for us since we all like checking out historical sites. Then we had a day at Hershey Park, a morning visiting Amish country in Lancaster, and finished up with a few days at Bear Creek Mountain Resort, which was very relaxing!

Our daughter’s fiance came in for the July 4th weekend and it was nice, as always, to have him here. And now it’s July 6th already and it feels as if summer is just flying by!

Yesterday I was catching up with a mom who’s just ahead of me in parenting. She already has a couple of young adult married children. We’ve known each other for a while, and she and her husband were a hugely positive influence on our daughters during their high school years.

I was reminded of some of the rough spots we hit with our girls during those teenage years. She and I talked about how rewarding it is when your children make it through those trials and, as best as you can tell, are walking with the Lord.

As I think back over the struggles we had at times, I tried to pinpoint what kept us in relationship with our teens. If I had to name one overarching theme, I would say that our daughters believed that our heart was for them. Even when they disagreed or didn’t like our decisions, I believe they sensed that our desire – whether we always communicated it well or not – was that we wanted what was best for them.

I understand that there are many parents with prodigal children who’ve turned away from God, at least for the moment. Our children make their own choices and they can break our hearts. That could be the case in our family tomorrow. But I wanted to share ten things that will hopefully help us as we try to build relationships with our teenagers.

Here's a list of five things to do - and five things not to do - when seeking to build a relationship with your teenager.

First, let’s look at five things NOT to do when trying to build a relationship with your teenager.

1. Make arbitrary decisions.

Once our children are teenagers, it’s good to move beyond answering their “Why?” questions with “…because I said so.” Try not to make decisions based on a whim or simply because you’re in a good – or a bad – mood.

As Christians, we have the Bible on which to base our decisions. Use Scripture to explain why you are or aren’t allowing something. Does that mean that they will always understand and jump on board with your decision? No, but you do have a reason for what you’re doing, not just something you made up.

2. Be inconsistent.

We all like to know what the boundaries are whether in a job situation or in a relationship. We want our children to be able to trust that our response will be the same no matter what.

3. Be unwilling to listen to them.

Listening doesn’t mean you will give in to what they want, but you can at least give them the courtesy of hearing them out. Communication is foundational to any relationship, so don’t let yourself be the only one who gets to talk.

4. Compare them to others.

Maybe your friend’s teenager gets better grades or is more involved in extracurricular activities or seems more spiritual than your child. Even if you don’t verbalize the comparison, it can affect how you respond to your teen.

5. Fail to acknowledge your own mistakes.

If you’re doing everything perfectly in parenting, I don’t even know what to say. You certainly don’t need to be reading here – please go write your own blog and I’ll come read it!

One of my dad’s favorite lines, when I was a teenager, was, “I’ve never parented a __-year-old before.” We’ve certainly used that with our older daughter – and we could find ways to apply it with our younger one as well. We’re going to make mistakes as parents and we should be willing to go to our child and admit it and ask forgiveness.

Now let’s look at five positive things that we could do to build that relationship.

1. Support their interests.

It may mean spending a little money and perhaps lots of time, but support them in the activities they’re interested in. And make sure it’s their interest and not just yours.

2. Spend time with them doing what they enjoy.

When we were at Hershey Park, I was sharing a memory about my dad with one of my daughters. I’m not sure that my dad actually enjoyed roller coasters, but I do know that if any of us kids wanted someone to ride with us, he would do it.

It’s easy to bring our teenagers into what we love, but let’s make sure we’re seeking to know what their interests are and find ways to join them in it.

3. Pray.

I’ve written a lot about praying for our teenagers already! Pray for specific needs in their lives, and pray for wisdom for yourself as you parent them. Our sovereign God loves them and His Holy Spirit can guide all of us through this season.

4. Use your words to lift them up.

There’s plenty to criticize and lots of things to correct. But let’s keep some of that in check so that we can say, “I love you” and “I’m proud of you.” Be specific with your praise and especially take advantage of opportunities to praise their character and not just their accomplishments.

5. Celebrate their joys and empathize with their sorrows.

Make a point to find ways to celebrate when good things happen for them! That’s usually a lot easier than dealing with a disappointed teen. Be available to listen and empathize without having to offer a solution right away.

I hope these ten ideas will help all of us as we seek to build better relationships with our teenagers!

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7 Helpful Prayers to Pray When You’re Struggling with Your Thought Life

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Welcome to the blog today! While the weather this time of year isn’t my favorite (here’s looking at you, heat and humidity), I do totally enjoy all the daylight hours! I love the light early in the mornings and late into the evenings.

Today’s topic is one that we’ve probably all struggled with at some point. Having a strong, healthy thought life means overcoming a wide range of temptations.

Sure, it could be impure or lustful thoughts. It could also be jealousy or envy, often brought on by comparing ourselves or what we have with others. Fear and worry can dominate our minds. Or maybe we just have a negative outlook because we’re ungrateful.

We read in the first part of Proverbs 23:7 that as a man thinks in his heart, so is he. That tells me that the person I’m becoming is directly tied to how I’m thinking.

Here are seven Bible-based prayers we can pray as we seek to gain victory over sin in our thought life.

We become what we think about. So what are we feeding our minds?

Do we read books or watch movies or listen to songs that lead us to impure thoughts? Are we giving fear top billing in our minds as we check the news throughout the day? Do we worry more or pray more?

I can admit that I’ve been in all of these places at different times in my life. Yet no matter what our struggle is in this area, we can have victory through God’s power.

Here are seven Bible verses we can pray to help us win the battle for our minds.

1. “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.” ~Psalm 19:14

This is the perfect verse to start with because it’s already a prayer! The meditation of our heart – what a perfect description of our thoughts. God knows every thought that passes through our minds and we want all of them to be pleasing to Him.

2. (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; ~2 Corinthians 10:4-5

What beautiful imagery – capturing every thought. It’s easy to let our minds fill with any ol’ thoughts, to just let them run free. But this verse doesn’t have gentle language. It’s active – pull down, cast down, bring into captivity. We have to take action to control our thoughts.

This verse is also a wonderful reminder that we can only do this because of our mighty God. It’s a spiritual battle and we need His help to win it.

God, through your power, let me throw out of my mind wrong imaginations and any thoughts that cause me to go against You and Your Word. Help me to capture every stray thought and align it with your truth.

3. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. ~Philippians 4:8

Here’s a checklist for our thought life. If what you’re thinking about lines up with these guidelines, you’re good to go.

Dear Lord, let my mind only dwell on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, good, and virtuous. May all my thoughts be praiseworthy.

4. Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. ~Matthew 22:37

If I’m loving God with all my mind, there will be no room for other sinful thoughts.

Heavenly Father, help me to love you with all of my mind. Let thoughts of You and Your truth crowd out all else. I’m thankful that you are worthy of all my worship and praise.

5. Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; ~1 Peter 1:13

It’s easy to get sloppy about our thought life. Monitoring what goes into our minds may seem unimportant at times. But, as we mentioned above, what we’re feeding our minds is going to affect every part of us. It’s important to be vigilant about what we’re allowing to influence us.

Dear Lord, may I take control of my thoughts and be serious about guarding what enters my mind. Thank You for your grace and that I can seek forgiveness from You when my thoughts get off track.

6. Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. ~Psalm 139:23-24

Just like the number one above, this verse is already a prayer. No need to elaborate – we can just pray what’s written! It’s humbling to ask God to search us, not just our words and actions, but our thoughts and motives.

7. But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof. ~Romans 13:14

This verse applies to every area of our lives, from where we go to what we take in to the people we hang out with.

God keep me from thoughts that would cause me to sin. Lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil. Give me perception and discernment to see where certain thought patterns will lead and let me not follow blindly. Convict me of sin in my thought life.

I hope all of us can benefit from one or more of these prayers as we strive to win the battle for our thought life.

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8 Things That Will Matter When You’re 80

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Hello and welcome to the blog today!

Has it been unseasonably cool where you are? While we’ve had beautiful sunshine this week, it’s been breezy and definitely not our typical warm May temperatures. But I know that the heat and humidity of summer are on the way, so I’m not complaining!

I know those of you reading are of various ages and in many different stages of life. For some, turning 80 years old is a very distant possibility. For others, it’s just around the corner.

Each of us also has responsibilities each day, whether it’s working a job, mothering full-time, being a caregiver, or a host of other things. I was thinking the other day that of all the things we do, the duties we perform, which ones will matter when I get older? Assuming that the Lord allows me a normal lifespan, what will I be glad that I did?

I hope I can be like those who are referenced in Psalm 92:13-14

“Those that be planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God. They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing;” ~Psalm 92:13-14

No matter what your age today, if God gives us 80 or more years to live on this earth, here are eight things that I think will matter to us.

A list of eight things to be doing now that you'll be glad you did when you're 80 years old

It will matter…

...that you spent time reading God’s Word and praying.

I hope we all desire to be 80-year-old Christian women who are strong in their faith. That means we need to have a spiritual focus today. Time spent in Bible study and prayer is never wasted. Building our lives around these things produces eternal results.

…that you served God and shared your faith.

There will come a point where we’re not able to do all that we did when we were younger. But what a blessing to be able to look back and thank God for ways in which we were able to serve Him and for souls we saw saved.

It doesn’t have to be what many would consider “big” things. It could be working in the church nursery, taking a meal to a sick friend, or praying with a co-worker. What will matter is that we were able to impact people for eternity.

…that you used your time wisely.

“The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labor and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away…So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.” ~Psalm 90:10, 12

I can certainly see where I fall short here. There are certainly times we need to rest and relax. But I know that it’s easy for me to waste time, to let it pass by frivolously. That’s where having a schedule or at least a routine of some sort helps me to better manage my time.

...that you loved your family well.

These are the people you’re often with 24/7. They know all about you. As we get older and are separated by distance or even just our busy lives, we always want them to know that they are loved.

…that you saved money.

Here’s a practical one for you! I’ve heard money teacher Dave Ramsey say that money is just a tool that gives you choices. If you’ve not saved much, your choices are more limited. If you’ve got more financial reserves, you have more choices for your lifestyle. It may mean sacrificing a few things now to have more security later.

…that you went for your dreams.

Mark Twain is quoted as saying, “Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.“

This one’s not easy for me as I’m rather risk-averse. But I hope that I’ll follow God’s leading and be willing to step out into new adventures.

…that you cultivated relationships.

What a blessing to have long-lasting friendships! So invite someone over to your house, ask a friend to meet for coffee, text that person from church and let them know you’re praying for them.

…that you made time for doing things you enjoy.

Is it reading a book, playing golf, doing crossword puzzles, hiking, or cross-stitching? Find hobbies you enjoy and make time for them.

Do you know what we can be sure of? That just as God is present and active in our lives today, He’ll be the same when we’re 80, 90, or 100 years old!

“And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you.” ~Isaiah 46:4

Which of these will you work on today? And if you’ve already hit that 80-year milestone, please tell us if these things matter to you!

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How to Pray for Someone You Love

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It’s another middle-of-the-week post and the last one for April!

It looks like May is shaping up to be a full month around here. We’ll be happy to have our daughters home from college in a couple of weeks. There’s also a friend’s wedding and a few graduations, so lots of celebrating ahead!

A few days ago I became burdened about praying for someone I love. Have you ever had that feeling? Maybe it’s a spouse, a child, a relative, or a friend. It could be that you know they need Jesus as their Savior. Perhaps they’re experiencing a health crisis or a financial problem. Or you might recognize that a person you love is facing a spiritual battle and you want to cover them in prayer.

As I was thinking about this the other night, I was reminded of a story about Abraham. Near the end of Genesis 18, after spending time with Abraham and Sarah, the Lord tells Abraham his plan to destroy the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah because of their wickedness. You’ll remember that Abraham’s nephew, Lot, and his family live in that area.

Then there’s a back-and-forth conversation where Abraham asks God to spare the city if there’s a certain number of righteous people in it. Abraham continues to lower the number of righteous required, and God continues to agree to spare the city if He finds that many righteous people.

There’s a lot we can learn from this exchange. As Abraham pleads with God on Lot’s behalf, let’s look at five things we can apply as we pray for someone we love.

Here you'll find five ways we can pray for someone we love from the Bible story of Abraham talking with God.

1. His prayer was specific.

Peradventure there be fifty righteous within the city: wilt thou also destroy and not spare the place for the fifty righteous that are therein? ~Genesis 18:24

Abraham didn’t just offer a general prayer for the city to be spared. He listed specific numbers in his request to God.

Let’s be specific as we pray. What exactly is it that we want God to do in this person’s life? It helps to base our prayer on God’s Word so we’ll know for certain that we’re praying in His will.

For example, if we’re praying for someone who’s fighting temptation, pray that they will put on the whole armor of God from Ephesians 6:10-18. You could even pray through each particular piece as you pray for your loved one.

2. He appealed to God’s character.

And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the wicked? Peradventure there be fifty righteous within the city: wilt thou also destroy and not spare the place for the fifty righteous that are therein? That be far from thee to do after this manner, to slay the righteous with the wicked: and that the righteous should be as the wicked, that be far from thee: Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right? ~Genesis 18:23-25

Abraham knew God so he was able to speak to His character. He knew that God was just and always did what was right.

We can do the same as we pray. Appeal to His mercy. Ask for His grace. Our God is compassionate, loving, and longsuffering. We can rest in those traits as we bring our requests to Him.

3. He was humble.

And Abraham answered and said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the Lord, which am but dust and ashes: ~Genesis 18:27

His attitude wasn’t, “God, you owe me.” No, he recognized who he was and who God was.

We can approach God boldly yet still have an attitude of reverence and humility. It’s only because of His grace that we’re able to come into His presence and have Him hear our prayers.

4. He was persistent.

And he said, Oh let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak yet but this once: Peradventure ten shall be found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for ten’s sake. ~Genesis 18:32

This was the sixth time Abraham asked God to answer his specific request. And not once did God tell him to stop asking.

Don’t give up. Remember the New Testament admonition to pray without ceasing. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

5. He left it in the Lord’s hands.

And the Lord went his way, as soon as he had left communing with Abraham: and Abraham returned unto his place. ~Genesis 18:33

Abraham didn’t try to follow the Lord to see what was going to happen. Once he’d finished talking to God, he returned home and went about his usual business.

Too often I’ll pray about something, but rather than leaving it in the Lord’s hands, I’ll continue to worry or fret over it. When that happens, I try to remind myself of Philippians 4:6, 7.

Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

I find encouragement as I read how Jesus prayed for Peter in Luke 22:31-32.

And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.

Let’s take our requests for our loved ones to God in prayer and trust Him to work in their lives for His glory.

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5 Lessons I’ve Learned in 20 Years of Parenting

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Good morning! We’re in the middle of a beautiful spring week here. I hope you had a wonderful weekend celebrating Easter and our Lord’s resurrection!

Our two college daughters were home for four days and it was great to have them around. We enjoyed some good family time including games, movies, and lots of good food!

After four days with our house full, I went to complete silence on Monday evening. I’d dropped our girls off at the airport to fly back to college and my husband left to go out of town. I’ve been a bit sentimental and reflective since then. It’s only three weeks until our daughters are home for the summer, but all these comings and goings take a toll on a mama’s heart.

All that led to the observations I’m sharing below about parenting. I’m sure there are more profound lessons I’ve learned over the past twenty years, but these are five that I’m reflecting on in this season.

Five things I've learned about parenting children over the last twenty years.

1. You don’t get any do-overs in parenting.

This is one of those things I’ve always known in the back of my head, but I didn’t often focus on it during my early parenting years.

Parenting is such a solemn responsibility. We’re given our specific children to steward for the Lord. The opportunities we have to shepherd their hearts and train them in Bible principles are priceless.

Yes, we know that there are no perfect parents. We’re going to make mistakes. But do we daily ask God to give us wisdom and guidance as we parent our children?

2. God’s grace is over it all.

I had to follow the lesson above with this one. God’s grace is greater than any of my mistakes. He can work in their lives to develop those things I failed to teach them. His grace can help them become strong in areas where I’ve been weak.

And as the years go by, if our girls grow to love and serve God and live for Him all their days, it’s not because I was such a great mom. It’s all because of God’s grace.

3. Just when you get used to one life season, things change.

I feel like I’ve gotten used to our older daughter leaving for college and then returning home for Christmas and summer breaks. But now we have one more summer and one more Christmas break until she’s married. And I’m thrilled and excited for her…but still, it will be different.

There are lots of transitions like that with our children. They start school. They develop independence in certain areas. They start going to events without you. They get a job, start driving…the list goes on.

Those are big transitions, but there are small ones, too. And just when you feel like you have a handle on parenting in a certain stage, something changes.

4. Young adult children are delightful.

One of my favorite things in life right now is when all four of us eat a meal together around our dining room table and then sit there and talk for a while when we’re done eating. I love the conversations and the laughter and the sharing of our lives.

Is it all rainbows and sunshine parenting young adults? No. We’re still learning to navigate this. But it’s neat to see that we share some common interests. And their energy can be contagious – except that my bedtime still has to come a lot earlier than theirs!

5. In every stage, your relationship with God is most important.

We can easily get so wrapped up in our husband or in our children or really anything including jobs or hobbies. But at some point, every last one of those things is going to change in some way.

The one constant in our lives is God. He will always be there, never changing. He is our source of strength, our comfort, our joy, and our peace. May we make spending time in His Word and in prayer a priority through every stage of parenting.

Are there any parenting lessons you’ve learned lately? If so, please let us know in the comments!

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7 Things to Do When Your Teenager Is Hurting

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Happy April 1st!!

Do y’all participate in April Fools’ Day? I’m not a fan of practical jokes, so I pretty much ignore it 🙂 I’m also terrible at trying to convince someone of something that’s not actually true, so there’s no need for me to even try. In the past, I’ve seen people share cute ideas for making April Fools’ Day a fun day for their kids. If that’s you, I hope you enjoy the day!

As our daughters get older, I’m learning that there are parts of being a mom that stay the same no matter their age. For example, any time your child is hurting, you hurt with and for them. Whether it’s a relationship issue, a major disappointment, academic struggles, or loneliness, we want to help them in any way we can.

But it’s not like those childhood years when you could soothe most of what ailed them with a hug and a double scoop ice cream cone. Not only are the issues bigger, but our teens are away from us a lot more, involved in school and work, and maybe even off to college.

So what can we do when that teenager we love is going through a hard time? Here are seven ideas.

Check out this list of seven helpful things you as a parent can do when you know that your teenager is going through a tough time..

1. Pray for her.

It sounds so simple, but it’s the single most effective thing we can do. Pray for her spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. Ask God to open her heart and mind so she’ll allow Him to show her what she needs to do.

Sometimes I’ve needed to put Romans 8:26 into practice. I ask the Holy Spirit to intercede for me because in certain situations, I don’t even know exactly how I should pray. But God knows my heart and understands all that’s going on.

2. Ask God for wisdom.

God has the wisdom we need and will freely give it. [James 1:5] Often we’re presented with a parenting situation we haven’t had to deal with before. We need wisdom to know how we should respond. We need guidance to know what to say to our child and what advice to give if she’s willing to accept it.

3. Keep a proper perspective.

As the parent, you’ve lived long enough to know that most difficult situations are temporary. And from our vantage point, we can look back and see how God has taken hard times in our own lives and used them for our good.

So don’t lose hope. Encourage yourself and your teenager that this will likely pass before long.

4. Remember that God is especially near to them when they’re hurting.

This verse came to mind.

“The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.” ~Psalm 34:18-19

God is close to those who have a broken heart, to those who are hurting. We may not be able to be there in person to offer our teens comfort, but God is always close by.

5. Trust God to use this trial in their lives for their long-term good.

At this point, we control very little in our children’s lives. But God sees the whole picture. He will use this hard time to grow and mature them if they will let Him.

And if, like me, you’re tempted to worry and fret over how things will work out, refer to Philippians 4:8. Take it to God in prayer and ask Him to give you His peace.

6. Listen more than you talk.

Your teen may not want to talk about her struggle. But if she does open up, listen. Don’t interrupt her or jump in with advice. Be grateful that she’s willing to share her heart with you.

7. Remind her that you love her.

Can anyone ever hear that too much? And don’t just tell her, but show her. Write her a note, bring her a favorite treat, give her a gift card to a favorite store, or, if she’s away from home, send her a small gift that lets her know you’re thinking about her.

This is advice I need myself quite often, especially the parts about asking God for wisdom and trusting Him to use our daughters’ struggles to make them better. How thankful we can be for a God who loves us moms and our teens so much!!

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What to Do When Your Teenager Disappoints You

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Hello, my friends!! Welcome back to the blog!

March is a full month for us. My mom was here visiting last week, and I leave tomorrow to fly down to Florida to see our daughters at college. They’re currently finishing up midterm exams, so I expect there to be lots of eating, shopping, and sleeping 🙂

Yesterday one of those “4 years ago today” videos popped up, and it was from a fine arts competition our girls were in on March 15, 2018. Our younger daughter was a high school freshman and the older one a junior, and it was a walk down memory lane to watch those old performances.

We were right in the middle of the “parenting teenagers” years at that point. There were some wonderfully sweet moments and some rather difficult ones. As is true in any parenting stage, there were a few times when our children disappointed us. When they do that as teenagers, though, the stakes can seem higher. The mistakes they make in those years can have long-lasting consequences.

As we walk through those times when our teenagers frustrate us or fail to meet our expectations, here are seven things we can do to navigate the situation graciously.

7 things you can do when dealing with a teenager who's disappointed you in some way

1. Affirm your love for them.

When something your teenager’s done or a choice they’ve made disappoints you, let them know that you still love them. Your love is not based on anything except the fact that he or she is your child. Yes, their actions may disappoint you, but your love for them doesn’t change.

2. Wait before addressing the issue.

Make sure you have all the facts before you begin dealing with the situation. And even once you have all the information, take time for a few deep breaths or to get your emotions under control if needed. I like to take a minute and think through what I want to communicate in our discussion.

3. Have reasonable consequences.

Natural consequences are the best teacher, so let those play out if applicable. Otherwise, try to tie any consequences to their actions. For example, “You went somewhere you weren’t supposed to, so now you have to hang out at home for two weeks.” You can also have your teenager weigh in on what they think the consequences should be. They may be harder on themselves than you think they will be.

4. Refuse to focus on what others (friends, family members) are going to say about the situation.

Whatever happened is only between you, your child, and any other person that was directly involved. Otherwise, unless you seek a trusted person’s wise counsel, no one else has the right to speak into the situation.

5. Talk to God about your disappointment.

Your mama’s heart hurts. The path your child went down is not one you wanted for them. Go to God for comfort and refuge. And pray for your teenager, that they will learn from this and that God will use it to mature them.

6. Leave it in the past and refuse to bring it up again.

Once consequences, if necessary, have been given, it’s over. Don’t rehash it the next time they do something wrong. What’s done is done, so move on.

7. Don’t blame yourself for your child’s poor decision.

They made their choice and they’ll have to live with it. Should you do an honest evaluation to see if you might handle something differently in the future? Sure. But what they decided to do is not your fault, so lose the guilt.

It’s probably safe to say that every teenager disappoints their parents some time, whether in a small way or a more notable one. But we’d all admit that we’re not perfect parents either! If our teens can learn from their mistakes today, they can be better prepared for the future. Let’s ask God to give us wisdom to handle these situations and seek to maintain a loving relationship with our children throughout the teenage years.

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How Does a Wise Woman Find Her Identity in Christ?

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Welcome to the blog today! My mom is here visiting for a few days, so I’m enjoying our time together. She’s our first official guest in the new house!

It seems like we hear a lot these days about identity or finding our identity. What does that even mean?

Here’s what I found on the website YourDictionary.

“The definition of identity is who you are, the way you think about yourself, the way you are viewed by the world, and the characteristics that define you.“

So what defines you? How do you identify yourself? I think many times we identify ourselves by the roles we play. But here’s what I’m coming to realize about my identity.

It’s not in being a wife.

It’s not in being a mom.

It’s not in a job title or occupation.

It’s not in accomplishments.

It’s not even wrapped up in the ministry I do.

It’s not in what other people think of you. (I can get caught up in this one.)

It’s who I am in Christ. It’s seeing myself as God sees me.

And the same is true for you.

So how can we as Christian women find our identity? Here are eight ways a wise woman will find her identity in Christ.

Here's a list of eight ways that a woman who wants to be wise can find her identity in Jesus Christ.

1. She recognizes that she is a child of God.

“But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:” ~John 1:12

If we have trusted Jesus Christ as our Savior, we are His daughters. First He created us and then He redeemed us. If we’re moms, all those emotions of love and joy and compassion that we feel for our children, our Heavenly Father feels for us.

2. She knows that God loves her.

“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ~Romans 8:38-39

What a verse to lean on! There is nothing in or out of this world that can separate us from God’s love. Maybe someone that I thought loved me doesn’t act like they do anymore. I never have to doubt God’s love. It is constant and sure.

3. She understands that she is fearfully and wonderfully made.

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” ~Psalm 139:14

Remarkably, wondrously, marvelously – that’s how you and I were made. God knit our bodies together in His own unique plan for us. He gave us our strengths and weaknesses, our gifts and talents and even our shortcomings. After all, those are what drive us to rely on Him. Nothing about the way we’re made is a mistake.

4. She finds comfort in knowing that God thinks about her.

“How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!” ~Psalm 139:17

I don’t think my mind can truly grasp the truth that God thinks many thoughts about me. What a comfort that is, to know that an all-powerful, all-knowing, always present God has me and my needs – and you and yours – on His mind.

5. She remembers that she is God’s workmanship, created for a purpose.

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” ~Ephesians 2:10

Know that we are each created for a purpose. No matter our age or stage of life, God has something for us to accomplish.

6. She rejoices because she is free from the power of sin.

“Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.” ~Hebrews 6:6

We won’t be perfect until we get to Heaven. However, because of our salvation and through the power of the Holy Spirit, we don’t have to sin. We can have victory and not be enslaved to the passions of the flesh. That anger problem? The bitterness? That tongue that gets you into trouble? We can break free from those sins with the Lord’s help.

7. She believes that God hears her prayers.

“But verily God hath heard me; he hath attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, which hath not turned away my prayer, nor his mercy from me.” ~Psalm 66:19-20

We have a God who hears and answers our prayers. We can rest in that truth even we don’t see the outcome we want right away.

8. She knows that one day she will be like Him.

“Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.” ~1 John 3:2

One day we will see Jesus. Our sinful nature will disappear. We will live and reign with Christ forever. Surely there’s no greater identity we could want for ourselves!

We will have many roles during our lifetime – daughter, sister, friend, student, employee, wife, mother, business owner, grandmother – the list could go on. But as we live out each of those roles, through the changing seasons of life, we can always rest in who we are as a beloved child of God.

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