Parent Archives - Page 4 of 17

8 Easy Thanksgiving Bible Verses to Teach Your Children

November 1, 2019 by Tracey 4 Comments

November is here!! We’re heading into the final stretch of this year.

With the Thanksgiving holiday ahead, many of us focus on cultivating grateful hearts this month. No matter what our circumstances are, we all have so much to be thankful for!

If you’re like me, gratitude is an important trait I want to make sure our children are developing. One way to do this is by helping them memorize Scripture verses about thankfulness. This can open the door to family discussions about these verses, especially in a season where everyone seems to emphasize being thankful.

Below I’ve listed eight Bible verses that talk about thankfulness. You’ll notice that several of them are from the book of Psalms. Apparently, David has a lot to teach us about being grateful!

Most of these verses are short enough that your child can learn them fairly quickly. In fact, you might want to make it a family project. You could choose a verse a week to learn between now and the Thanksgiving holiday. (If you want suggestions for helping your child memorize Scripture, check out these ten ideas.)

Check out these eight simple Bible verses you can teach your children during this Thanksgiving season.

Here are eight easy Thanksgiving Bible verses to teach your kids.

1. “I will praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify him with thanksgiving.” ~Psalm 69:30

What a great reminder that praising God often involves singing! Maybe part of encouraging grateful hearts this month could include singing songs as a family. This verse also points out that our purpose in giving thanks is always to glorify God.

2. “Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving, and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms.” ~Psalm 95:2

Both this verse and the next one emphasize us being thankful when we enter into God’s presence. It can be uplifting to begin personal and family prayer time by thanking God for specific blessings in our lives.

3. “Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.” ~Psalm 100:4

Thanksgiving naturally leads to praising God. When we give thanks, it shouldn’t be a generic expression of gratitude, but specifically directed to God.

4. “O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good; for his mercy endureth forever.” ~Psalm 107:1

We can always thank God for His specific character traits like goodness and mercy.

5. “Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” ~Ephesians 5:20

We’re to be thankful for everything. We may not always feel like giving thanks, but we can choose to do it anyway.

6. “And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.” ~Colossians 3:17

Whatever we do should be done in His name, for His glory, and with a thankful heart.

7. “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:18

There’s no verse more convicting than this one. It is God’s will for us to give thanks in everything, from the normal days to the really difficult ones. That’s hard, but it can be done with the Holy Spirit’s help.

8. “By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name.” ~Hebrews 13:15

I love the phrase “fruit of our lips.” How neat would it be if giving thanks just naturally flowed from our mouths!

However your day has started, there’s no time like right now to start being thankful. Not only could our children benefit from memorizing these verses, but we as adults could, too!

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Five Thoughts to Encourage the Mom (aka Me) Who’s Sending a Child Off to College

August 5, 2019 by Tracey 4 Comments

When August 1st arrived, I knew it was real. The countdown to dropping our oldest daughter off at college was on and moving fast.

I’m processing lots of feelings and emotions over here…which I’m sure is delightful for everyone around me! In the midst of that, I’m gathering encouragement for when that day arrives.

These five thoughts are helping me so far. And while my situation deals with college separation, it could also apply to a child starting any new phase of life.

1. God’s not done with your child…and He’s not done with you.

We see our children the way they are today, 18 and 16-years-old, in my case. And while much about them might be wonderful, they still have a lot of maturing to do. When I think back to how I was at 18, I’m glad I’ve grown up some more since then!

I love the words of Paul in Philippians 1:6. “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.“

Not only will God continue to perfect His work in our children, but He will do the same for us as parents. This change in our family situation will give me more opportunities to trust Him and grow my faith – especially since our daughter will be almost 600 miles away.

2. It’s okay to feel sad about the “lasts,” but make time to celebrate the “firsts.”

Process the feelings of sadness. They’re natural and okay. But also have fun buying for and decorating her dorm room (or book bag or school locker). Put together a care package with some of her favorite things and be ready to send it at the first sign of homesickness.

Endings usually lead to new beginnings. One of my favorite verses about the changing seasons of life is Isaiah 42:19. “Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.“

Even when change is hard, there’s always room for God to do a new thing. Let’s look ahead to the good things in store for us and for our child.

3. Remember that God never fails.

Change doesn’t mean that God leaves you or walks away. In fact, sometimes we recognize Him more in the difficult times.

“My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.” ~Psalm 73:26

I remember the season of new motherhood. I had no idea what to do with a baby. Yet through the sleepless nights, high fevers, terrible-two tantrums, middle school drama, and teenage disappointments, God has guided me as a mom to this daughter. He will continue to do so.

Not only will He not fail me, He won’t fail my daughter. I’m excited to think about the lessons she will learn about God’s faithfulness in the coming months.

4. This too shall pass.

My husband and I have said this about several stages in our children’s lives!

At first, I’ll cry when I drive past the Chick-fil-a where she’s worked for the last 2 1/2 years. I already dread walking back into the house after college drop off and seeing her empty bedroom. It won’t ever be the same again, but there will be a new normal.

“But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.” ~1 Peter 5:10

I might not classify this situation as suffering, but I do know that God can use it to continue to grow us. We’ll learn lessons through this adjustment, and move on to what God has for us next.

5. Other moms are walking this same road.

There’s comfort in shared experiences. I have a number of friends who’ve either just come through this stage, are in the middle of it, or are beginning it just like me. We all experience it differently, as do our kids, based on personalities and expectations. However, it’s reassuring to know that I’m not alone in this.

“Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel.” ~Proverbs 27:9

If any of you have already passed this milestone, I’d love to hear what advice was most helpful to you!

A Letter to My Teenage Daughter: I Think One Day You’ll Understand

February 6, 2019 by Tracey 17 Comments

Dear Daughter,

The doctors and nurses don’t tell you when you leave the hospital with a tiny newborn baby all that lies ahead of you as a mom. And that’s probably a good thing…

All these years later, we’ve landed in the middle of your teenage years. We’re learning to walk a tightrope between our parental input and your independence.

It’s not easy for any of us. The wisdom that we’ve gained from years of living and your desire to make your own choices clash at times.

And even when you dutifully (and sometimes sweetly) follow our directives, I know you don’t necessarily understand.

You don’t understand…

~ why I remind you to “be careful” nearly every time you get behind the wheel of the car.

~why I want you to text and let me know when you’re leaving the school to drive home after a late-night ball game.

~why I said “no” to that sleepover, and the only excuse I had to give you was that it just didn’t feel right.

~why I probably drive you crazy with how often I ask if you’re okay.

~why I want to know where you’re going and who with…all the time.

~why I won’t let you watch that movie or listen to that song.

~why your cell phone has to be in a basket in the kitchen by 10pm.

~why we’ve taught you to budget and work a job instead of just handing you money.

~why I buy you books titled Liked: Whose Approval Are You Living For and send you blog posts about not settling for bad relationships and ask you to read them.

~why I pray for you so often (though I know I should be on my knees even more).

When, if God wills it, you have a newborn of your own, you’ll begin to understand. When that cuddly baby becomes a toddler, then a kindergartener, you’ll get it even more.

And when that 16-year-old, license in hand, heads out the door to drive all by herself for the first time, then, my sweet daughter, you will understand.

As hard as it is to believe today, I see you doing many of the same things that right now you think you’ll never do as a mom.

Because your heart will be like mine…overflowing with love for a nearly grown child whom you want desperately to protect from the hurts of life and the scars of sin. A child for whom you want only the best.

And in the process of learning to let go, you, as I do, will find yourself leaning ever more on the God who ultimately has control and who loves that child more than you ever could.

So thank you, in these days when you don’t understand, for being patient with your dad and I. We’re all together in this new stage of the growing-up journey.

You’ll make mistakes, and so will we. But if we keep our relationships with God and with each other front and center, we’ll make this transition successfully. We’ll see you go on to become the amazing adult we know you can be.

Then one day, my dear, I believe you’ll understand. Because you’ll see for yourself that all we did stemmed from a heart of love for the precious daughter you are.

Love,

Mom

Check out this printable prayer guide 10 Weeks of Praying for Your Teenage Daughter.

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10 Simple But Powerful Pieces of Life Advice for Teenagers (that work for their parents, too)

May 23, 2018 by Tracey 13 Comments

My teenagers aren’t always (if ever!) sitting around waiting to soak up any parental wisdom that comes out of my mouth. They’re more likely to be too involved in what’s going on in their own lives to let me “bless” them with my advice.

But on the off-chance that they want me to share a bit of knowledge with them, I decided to be ready. I rounded up some quotes that are short, sweet, and to the point, yet pack a powerful punch. It’s ten pieces of life advice to help them navigate the coming years with a healthy perspective on what’s truly important.

1. “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” ~Corrie Ten Boom

Here’s a great place to plug in one of my favorite Scriptures, Proverbs 3:5, 6. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

The more we know about God – His goodness, love, and mercy – the easier it is to trust Him with our future. That future could be as close as tomorrow, and as far away as eternity.

2. “Wherever you are, be all there.” ~Jim Elliot

Don’t spend your time wishing you were somewhere else or with a different person. In other words, live in the moment. Instead of longing for the past or wishing for the future, embrace the exact circumstances God has placed you in today.

3. “Expect nothing and appreciate everything.” ~Unknown

This ties together contentment and gratitude, two of the most valuable traits a person can have. When we place too many expectations on a person or a particular circumstance, we’re often disappointed. And living with a grateful heart will keep us focused on how blessed we are.

4. “Wisdom makes decisions today that will still be good tomorrow.” ~Lysa TerKeurst

This is the quote that led me to write this post. Teenagers especially can make decisions that feel good in the moment. But if they will take the time to think about where the consequences of that decision might lead, they can determine if it’s a wise decision or not.

I find myself needing this advice, though I’m supposedly older and wiser! From the words I say to the things I do – if I’ll look back tomorrow and wish I hadn’t said or done it, I shouldn’t do it in the first place.

5. “Fill your life with adventures, not things. Have stories to tell, not stuff to show.” ~Unknown

We’ve found that experiencing events together as a family is usually much better than giving physical gifts. We’ll always have great memories of outings and travels that we’ve had during these years of our children living at home. I hope we’re passing on to them a love for sharing adventures with those closest to them.

6. “Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.” ~Bill Nye

My dad exemplifies this one. He is just as interested in talking to and getting to know his car mechanic as he is the VIP of a Fortune 500 company. Strive to learn something from each person that you meet.

7. “Go the extra mile. It’s never crowded.” ~Wayne Dyer

Don’t try to get by with doing as little as possible to finish the job. Give your all in everything you do, and you’ll stand out. Follow the advice of Ecclesiastes 9:10. “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might…”

8. “Be somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody.” ~Robby Novak

Humility and thoughtfulness are qualities that seem rarer than ever these days. Smile at people. Thank anyone who does the smallest thing for you. Just notice other people, and go out of your way to make them feel special.

9. “Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.” ~Dolly Parton

Prioritize people and relationships over work. Let the to-do list go at some point in the day, and just enjoy being with your people.

10. ”Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure.” ~Bob Bitchin

Or, as my dad often told us, attitude is everything. You can make the best of a situation, or you can bring yourself and everyone around you down. The choice is up to you. (I need this advice plastered on my wall!)

Hopefully, I can continue to work these ideas into future conversations with my teenagers. If you have any bits of life advice you’ve found helpful, share them with us in the comments!

Check out my digital printable 10 Weeks of Praying for Your Teenage Daughter.

5 Prayers to Pray for Your Children Every Day

March 8, 2018 by Tracey 7 Comments

Praying for our children is something we can do every day of their lives. There’s not much else that can claim that significance!

And while I’ve always been mindful of the need to pray for our girls, I would definitely say my prayers have changed since they were little. When they were younger, I felt like I had more control (though in reality, we know I didn’t!} The older they get, the more I see my need to trust God with their lives. I’m not there 24/7 to help shelter or guide them. But He is.

I’ve talked about my monthly prayer list, and how I tailor that to specific needs in our family. I’m still using that format. But today I wanted to share a few general areas that are important to cover in prayer as well.

1. Pray for their physical safety.

Proverbs 21:31b says “….safety is of the Lord.”

When my girls were younger, my concerns had more to do with them falling off a piece of playground equipment or being taken by a stranger. Now it’s more along the lines of asking God to protect them during their drive to school, and for them not to get seriously injured during a basketball game. Whatever the physical threat to our children is, we know that God can keep them safe.

2. Pray for protection from evil and wrong influences.

Children lose their innocence at such young ages today! Because of our current culture, we’ve felt it necessary to discuss certain topics with our girls at earlier ages than I would have liked.

And no matter how you educate your children, there’s always an opportunity for them to see or hear something that can influence their thoughts the wrong way. Our girls attend a Christian school, but I’m not naive enough to think that they don’t encounter serious temptation there.

My prayer is that God will protect them from those temptations to sin and from any person who would be a bad influence. I’m thankful that Psalm 121:7 tells me, “The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil; He shall preserve thy soul.”

3. Pray for spiritual growth.

Since we as parents live with our kids day in and day out, we often know where they’re struggling. It could be a bad attitude, dishonesty, or selfishness (yes, exactly some of the same sins their parents battle!)

Regardless of what sin it is, we can pray for God to convict their hearts. We want them to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading, and to quickly ask forgiveness when they realize they’ve done wrong.

4. Pray that they’ll make good decisions and wise choices.

Our girls have memorized many Bible verses over the years. Now my prayer is that those verses will sink into their souls and guide them in the choices that they make. You’re probably familiar with Isaiah 55:11, which reads, “So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.”

If our daughters will hide God’s Word in their hearts, and apply it to their daily lives, they will be blessed in many ways. We know that living out those Bible truths will spare them from the heartache that sin brings.

5. Pray for their relationships.

This includes friendships, teachers, coaches, and certainly siblings. I think it makes all our mama hearts happy when our kids are getting along with one another!

Our children’s friends play an important role in their lives, as do other adults. I’ve written before about wanting good role models for our children. We can pray that God will give them friends who will encourage them in their walk with God, and adults who will live out a Christ-like example.

Yes, prayer takes time. But I don’t think there’s any better way to spend our time than asking for God’s blessing and watch care over our precious children.

10 “Don’ts” for Moms of Teenage Girls

August 29, 2017 by Tracey 32 Comments

The way I see it, I’m about halfway done with parenting teenage daughters.

There are many, many positive moments in parenting teenage girls. We can share shoes and jewelry and hair styling tools (clothes, not so much). They can be very helpful around the house. Each one is developing into her own individual person with a sense of humor and the ability to carry on meaningful conversations. I love watching them participate in sports and fine arts, and seeing how they continue to develop new interests.

But over the past several years, I’ve figured out some ways I shouldn’t go about this parenting teenagers deal. How do I know about these mistakes? I’ve made them all. I’m experiencing this times two on a daily basis. More than anything, this is a list for me to refer back to over the second half of this parenting teens season!

1. Don’t ask too many questions all at once.

I’ve found that I can usually get away with asking two or three questions before I begin to sound like an interrogator. However, I might be able to circle back and throw out a question related to the same topic later on and get a decent response.

Also, non-specific questions such as “How was your day at school?” get no real conversation flowing here. It usually works better if I ask about a specific thing that I know was happening that day, such as “Did you get that class project finished on time?”

Now this does depend on the personality of your child. Some like to give blow-by-blow details of the day, and are happy to answer any questions you might have. Others just keep most of their thoughts to themselves. I’ve got one on each side of the spectrum.

2. Don’t continue to treat her like a little girl.

Okay, so she’ll still act like a little girl at times, but she is growing up. She needs to accept responsibility and, along with that, be granted some new freedoms as she proves herself trustworthy. She can have a later bedtime, handle getting herself up in the morning with an alarm clock, etc.

3. Don’t minimize her feelings.

Yes, whatever is causing her world to fall apart may seem unimportant to you, but it’s a big deal to her. She may not want to hear, “I know just how you feel” because likely, you don’t. You may have experienced something similar, but it’s probably not exactly what she’s feeling.

I’m trying to learn to just listen, to not offer advice unless I’m asked for it. It’s rare that a daughter wants me to fix something. She usually only wants to talk it through.

4. Don’t respond in the heat of the moment.

If your daughter is worked up about something – and especially if she’s upset with you – it almost never does any good to deal with the situation until she’s calmed down. And usually, I need time to calm down, too. Much more will be accomplished if we both retreat to our private spaces and reconnect a little bit later.

5. Don’t feel like you have to answer a request immediately.

It’s okay to say, “Let me think about that” when a child asks to do something or go somewhere, and you’re unsure about what to say. You may need a little while to pray about it, talk to your spouse, or find out more about the situation.

6. Don’t get drawn into the drama.

Be the adult. Yes, you are one (and she’s not – yet), so prove that when a drama-filled situation arises. My initial reaction is to jump right into the middle of it along with her, but that doesn’t help anyone. SO much easier said than done. (And my husband is much better at this than I am!!)

7. Don’t be afraid to stand your ground when you’ve said “no.”

If our teenagers suddenly took our “no’s” sweetly and submissively, would we even know how to react? Sometimes they’re going to grumble and complain. Or they may keep trying to suggest a work around that we’ll accept. I’m of the opinion that we should say “yes” as often as we can, but when we give a well-thought-out “no,” we should stand by it.

8. Don’t forget to say “I love you” and “I’m proud of you” as often as you can.

Make it a priority. That is all.

9. Don’t think she doesn’t need you anymore.

My 16-year-old just packed for an overnight trip. I didn’t have to get down a bag, think about what type of clothes she needed, or do a final check to make sure she had her toothbrush. She can wash her own clothes and drive a car. She works a job and she’s understanding chemistry without me (praises be!!)

But I know she still needs a mom. A lot of times that just means being around in case she wants to talk, going to the store to pick up that notebook she needs for school, or surprising her with a frappuccino at the end of a hard school day.

10. Don’t neglect to pray for her.

Prayer is our most powerful weapon against the temptations our daughters will face. It’s also what my heart needs as I struggle to be the mom I should be when our relationship seems less than ideal. Only the Holy Spirit can grow her heart into loving Jesus more. And He’s the only one who can manifest His fruit in me to be an example I’d want her to follow.

If you would add another “don’t” to this list, please share it in the comments below. And be sure to check out my digital printable 10 Weeks of Praying for Your Teenage Daughter!

A Different Kind of Summer; or, When Kiddie Pools and Sand Boxes Don’t Cut It Anymore

May 31, 2017 by Tracey 3 Comments

Another school year is winding down. My daughters’ last day is Friday, then we’ll enter the summertime zone.

Summer used to mean a kiddie pool in the back yard, bottles of bubbles to blow, and a sand box to dig in. It meant trips to the park to swing and slide, and Popsicle juice running down your arm.

Now summer looks like my 16-year-old getting her first real job – one she can actually drive to all by herself. It means a week away at camp. It’s starting to plan college visits and looking ahead to ACT testing. Needless to say, we’ve moved into the realm of serious, grown-up-like stuff.

The summers of then and the summers of now are both fun in totally different ways. Yes, there are some sweet memories associated with the bubbles and sidewalk chalk and kids running through the sprinkler. And these days, I appreciate how my girls can entertain themselves quietly with a book or another project for hours on end.

Back then, it was me pushing the swing and blowing the bubbles in the 90+ degree heat and humidity, wishing I could be inside in the air conditioning. Now I get to sit in the air conditioning while I’m praying that she makes it safely to work or looking around an empty bedroom and missing her while she’s at camp.

Every summer has a different rhythm. Some have been loud and busy and long. Others passed quietly and all too quickly. The older I get, the more of a blur they are.

Yet there’s still the pull of that slightly slower schedule. There’s time to savor sitting side-by-side on the couch reading books, staying up late watching a movie, and sleeping in until the sun’s already been up for awhile.

How to plan your summer when your kids are too old for kiddie pools and sand boxes

I previously mentioned Katy’s post The Schedule that Saved Our Summer. Now I’ve decided to put her ideas into practice with my 14-year-old. (My 16-year-old may participate in some of this, depending on her work schedule.) I took the days of the week Katy designated (making a minor switch for Friday), and listed at least five ideas under each category that will work for us. We’ll likely add a couple more as the summer goes along.

Make-it Monday

bake a sweet treat
sewing project (she’s currently sewing a dress for her American girl doll)
puzzles (she’s still working on a 1000 piece puzzle she got for her birthday…back in December)
craft project (she has a large tub of craft materials)
make fruit smoothies or milkshakes
I might pull some ideas from 8 Creative Skills You Can Learn in a Weekend

Trip Tuesday

bowling
park
museum
library
picnic downtown

Working Wednesday

clean baseboards
organize a space
clean out closet/drawers
dust blinds
go through books/papers/music books and give away what we no longer need/use

Thoughtful Thursday

card for a church member who’s sick
meal for a neighbor or friend
thank-you note to someone
collect items to donate
write to pen pal

Fun Friday

at-home movie marathon
get together with a friend
swim at our neighborhood pool
board games
make a meal of all our favorite foods

Between vacation and camps, we have less than ten weeks of summer. Therefore, we won’t quite make it through each round of ideas twice.

In case you’re like my daughter, and a little stressed that too much planning equals too little down time, don’t worry. I’ll make sure to build in days with no expectations and just pure summer relaxation!

My goal is to send out an e-mail newsletter on Friday with a list of the books my girls will be reading this summer. If you’re not signed up to receive my newsletter, you can do that here. (Each summer we assign our girls a list of non-fiction books to read. After they finish the book, we pay them to write a brief report about it.)

For further reading on how I’ve planned out our previous summers, visit these posts.
How to Plan a Summer Learning Program for Your Kids
Summer Learning Program for 2016
3 Keys to a More Peaceful Summer with Your Kids

Are your children done with school yet? Have any plans for the summer?

Just a Few More Miles on the Car

March 30, 2017 by Tracey 4 Comments

Two weeks ago, I drove my teenage daughters to their school at 5:30 in the morning. They wanted to ride a bus with their friends to the state fine arts competition. I raced back home, ate a quick breakfast, then started my own hour-and-a-half drive to the competition. The odometer clicked along as I drove down the interstate…putting just a few more miles on the car.

That car takes us to basketball games, school concerts, piano recitals, and school plays. The miles are racking up, evidenced by my feeling like I have that vehicle at the dealership for regular maintenance every few weeks. Where will it take us next? I think college visits are lurking in our future.

But I wouldn’t miss these miles for anything because it means we are there for our daughters. I don’t want them to just tell me about that free throw shot they made; I want to see it, and celebrate with them. It’s not enough to just hear how they missed some key notes in that piano duet; I want to be there to commiserate, then encourage them to move on to the next event. And it takes putting a few more miles on the car to be present for those moments.

Am I going to have a meltdown if I have to miss a game? No. Things happen. But I want our daughters to know that in our world, being there for them is important.

Being present with your child, involving yourself in what they enjoy, is a huge relationship builder.

You may not be in the season of putting those miles on the car. For you, it may be celebrating that new puzzle he finally put together by himself or hanging that picture she colored on the refrigerator. Perhaps you’re cheering from the sidelines of a local soccer game where all the five-year-olds cluster around the ball. Maybe you sit in the stands at a Tee Ball game where the kids in the outfield are aimlessly picking flowers.

But whatever your child is doing these days, be present in it with them. Look up when she calls you to see how high she’s going in the swing. Really notice when he connects the train tracks in a new way. Because we’re building relationships. We want our kids to know that we’re going to be there every step of the way, win or lose, succeed or fail.

Is it always easy or convenient? No. I’m finding it is easier in these days to make time for all those things since the physical demands of parenting are less. But when you have younger ones to take care of or housekeeping chores that keep piling up, it may not seem worth the time to stop what you’re doing and focus on what they’re doing.

Yet how much does it mean to our children to gain our approval, to know they have our full attention? Or, in this stage of mine, to know that they can look up in the stands and see me there, or if they’re up on the stage, that they can spot me in the crowd.

I’m nearing the tail end of this active parenting stage. Is there one kindergarten field trip I regret attending? No. Is there one piano recital I wish I would have skipped? Not hardly.

I know you moms that read here. You’re the ones who already go out of your way to support your child, encourage him, be there for her. And isn’t it fun when the game or the concert or the play is over, and you can talk about the highlights and laugh (maybe not in that moment, but later) over the miscues?

Before we wrap up, let’s talk about what this post is not.

It’s not a guilt trip. Goodness knows we’ve all been on enough of those.

It’s not a “Look at me! Aren’t I the perfect mom because I attend all my kids’ activities?!” I’ve been blessed with parents who set the example in this area. I have a husband who works hard and manages money well so that I don’t have to work outside the home, which gives me the time to do all the things. I’ve been granted the health and strength to make this process work.

Lastly, this isn’t a license to obsess over every move my kid makes, or to relive parts of my own childhood through my children’s accomplishments. It’s simply a reminder of the importance of building relationships. If you don’t have kids, apply this to your marriage or your friendships. Be present when you’re with that person. Practice enjoying what brings them pleasure. Celebrate their wins and grieve with them in their losses.

But back to us moms…On those occasions when you wonder if it’s worth it to read one more book aloud or exclaim over one more Lego creation or take another long drive to watch that kid play (or sit on the bench) in a game, remember our goal. We’re building a relationship with that child that will last a lifetime. And the time to invest in that relationship is now. You can’t go back and do it all over again.

And do you know what happened last Friday, the final day of my girls’ spring break? That 16-year-old and her sister, they got in the car and drove off on their own to meet friends at the ice skating rink while I stayed at home. And just like that, it’s my girls – not me – putting just a few more miles on that car.

What Should We Teach Our Daughters to Look for in a Husband?

March 2, 2017 by Tracey 8 Comments

If we’re going to talk about boy/girl relationships, I’ll tell you a bit of my history.

I didn’t really date in high school. While I found plenty of boys that I liked and that I thought should be interested in me 😉 it was my freshman year of college before I actually started to date. The Christian college I attended had fairly strict rules, so most of my dates were on campus, and consisted of lots of talking, eating meals together, playing games and/or studying in common areas – or going to church services together, which was where my husband and I went on our first date!

Since I now have a daughter in high school, we get to have some fun conversations about boys. I encourage both of our girls to get to know guys as friends while they’re in high school, to use these years to learn what types of personalities work well together, and to begin to understand what attributes might be important to them in a future husband.

When it’s time to get serious about the type of guy they want to marry, there are a few qualities that are key. The neat thing is that this is not a theory I have to explain to our daughters or a lecture they have to sit and listen to me give. I get to point out these qualities in their dad – so he has a major role in helping define what the right guy is going to look like for them!

Here’s a list of nine traits to help them get started as they consider the type of man they want to marry.

1. He’s a Christian. Our girls already know the Bible verse (2 Corinthians 6:14) about not being unequally yoked together with unbelievers, so this needs to be the determining factor before their heart and emotions get involved with a young man.

2. He walks with God. More than just having a salvation testimony, I hope our daughters seek a man who has an authentic relationship with Christ, and who demonstrates that through his words and actions. For example, since going to a local church to worship God and minister with others has been important to our girls, the man they’re getting to know should have the same interests.

The rest of these traits should naturally flow from this one, but we’ll break them down anyway.

3. Character. He has a good moral reputation and is a man of integrity. This is one of the greatest things that my husband models for our girls. He is determined to always do what’s right in a situation to the best of his ability.

4. Kindness. It sounds like such a simple thing, but not every guy is going to be genuinely kind to others.

5. Hard worker. A guy’s work ethic is going to play a very important part in how life goes for their family. He doesn’t have to start out with a great job making lots of money, but he does need to be willing to work hard and to look for opportunities to improve himself. Watch out for laziness!

6. Sense of humor. Life is going to be serious enough; you need someone to laugh with as you go along!

7. Comfortable in his own skin. Not only do you want someone to laugh with, but you want a guy who can laugh at himself. He is who he is, and doesn’t “put on airs” to try to impress other people. A man like this will also be humble enough to ask for forgiveness when he’s done wrong.

8. Not self-centered. I remember one guy that I dated briefly in college. He spent most of the few dates we had talking about himself – specifically telling me what a great soccer player he was. I appreciate that he helped me to see one of the things I didn’t want in a husband, and I’ve already warned my girls about this kind of guy. 🙂

9. Honest. A lifetime relationship of marriage requires trust. Don’t just consider how he interacts with you, but watch how he deals with other people. Is he always looking for a short cut to get things done rather than doing the job thoroughly? Is he totally up front about all the details when he’s conducting business?

I remind my girls that they’re not perfect, and that there’s no perfect guy out there, either! You’re not likely going to find an 18-year-old who has matured in every one of these areas, but he can certainly have a heart that is bent toward God, and be pursuing a life that will glorify Him.

God can give our daughters the wisdom and discernment they need as they begin to develop dating relationships in the coming years. And as for me? I can be on my knees praying!!

6 Pieces of Advice for a Daughter Who’s Beginning Her Life’s Voyage

February 23, 2017 by Tracey 6 Comments

It’s a feeling I’d have been expecting a few months from now. It should hit when the school year ends, and I realize my oldest daughter is officially a high school junior, and I only have two more years to expect her to come walking in our door every night, going to sleep in that queen-sized bed, leaving socks and pajamas in a pile on the floor every morning.

So to get teary-eyed about my daughter growing up on a random February morning caught me by surprise. Though I’ll admit that I cry a lot more easily these days, and it doesn’t take much to get me all sentimental. But this time a picture did it.

No, it wasn’t the one of her holding the driver’s license she got last week, nor the cute picture she posted on Instagram from her elementary school days. It was a picture of a boat on a lake at sunset.

That picture prompted these thoughts.

It’s like that sweet daughter has spent years here with us, safe in the harbor. Her dad and I have directed where she went and when. We’ve been able to guide and correct that boat to a great degree. Not that there weren’t rough winds and waves splashing up on the shore and rocky paths to navigate together. There were – and I’m sure there are still some more ahead of us.

But before long now, she’ll push away from the dock, set off in her own boat, begin the voyage that will take her out into the life that God has for her. And that little boat will seem so tiny out on that big ocean all by itself. She’ll chart her own course as we watch, sometimes from nearby, sometimes from far away.

So, since I’m an ex-school teacher, and always take the opportunity to slip a little advice her way, I thought I’d have some words of wisdom ready for her as she navigates her way out into the world.

1. Let God be your captain. Pray for His guidance, study His Word, yield to His leading. Nothing is more important. He will always guide you well.

2. Be true to yourself. God made you special. He put dreams and desires in your heart that He meant you to fulfill. Don’t allow other people to dictate who you become or where you go, but follow the course that’s meant for you.

3. Love those God gives you with all your heart. Treasure the relationships you have, whether it’s friends, a husband, children. Be loyal and passionate in loving your people.

4. Be bold and brave in chasing your dreams. Be willing to step outside of your comfort zone, and fight your fears. It’s fitting that we talked about this quote just a few weeks ago.

5. Make time to serve others. Life will be mighty empty if you make it all about yourself. Wherever you are, find a way to bless someone else, to make another person’s life a little easier and a little happier.

6. Live in the present. Don’t think that when you reach that certain port you’ll finally be truly happy. Whether it’s marriage or parenting or that promotion or a ministry opportunity, don’t waste today wishing for tomorrow. In fact, when you look back, you just may see that the actual journey was more fulfilling than the reward.

And I’ll finish by taking that last piece of advice for my own. I’m not going to wish I was back in the preschool phase or the elementary days, nor am I going to waste the next 2 1/2 years dreading her high school graduation. I’m going to wash that school uniform tonight and pack her lunch tomorrow morning and let her drive us down the highway to school – and enjoy today’s moments as they come.