You have been given a very precious gift.
In the beginning, it belonged exclusively to your dad and I. Your world was totally intertwined with ours; you needed nearly nothing we couldn’t provide. Your heart rested safely in our hands.
As the years passed, your world expanded. You now have sweet relationships with peers and other adults, people who have earned your friendship and your trust.
Yet your heart and the special love inside it – that love for another that will bring you one day, if it’s God’s will, to a marriage altar – remains your own.
This love we talk of, this forever love, is a unique treasure. Don’t give it away lightly.
It’s tempting to want to loan your heart out on a regular basis. It’s often the way of the teenage culture – a relationship with this one and then that one, a few dates followed by a cheap “I love you.”
And while I know it’s not easy to see other friends pairing up and coupling off, remember to take a long-term view, recognize what a gift it will be to save your whole heart for the one God has for you forever.
I know you’ll notice guys…actually, I’m sure you already do. By all means, be friends with them. Get to know them in group settings. Figure out what’s important to you in a future husband.
You’ll want to know more about those who cross your path who are kind and good and trustworthy. Study a young man’s character rather than just listen to his words.
And just like teenage girls, teenage boys still have a lot of growing up to do. So don’t look for perfection, but for a heart that sincerely seeks to do right. And while you’re looking, remember to be developing into that Godly young woman that a worthy man would desire.
In the midst of all this growing and changing, hold onto your heart. I don’t want you to look back one day and remember all those guys in whom you invested time and emotional energy, only to yield hurt feelings and lost friendships.
Keep your heart whole for him, the one who will be your life partner. Let it not be divided or left behind you in little pieces along the way. Save him all your love for a lifetime and, when the time comes, give it all wholeheartedly
But for now, keep it close. Learn what marks true love. Observe those older couples who still hold hands, still sit close in church, and find out what they know. Understand that love is not about you, it’s about unselfishly loving another person.
One day, in God’s will and in His time, that young man will come along who will see the treasure that you are and you’ll want to have a whole heart to give him, one that can love him fully and fiercely. So until that day, when love comes for a lifetime, hold onto your heart.
What a sweet letter! Thank you for sharing it with us! I have to admit that I'm pretty scared when I think about my daughters and boys. 🙂
Elizabeth Spencer says
Tracey, this is beyond beautiful. You are so wise to counsel your daughter this way. (I am writing from painful current, personal experience here. Sigh. #Momfail.) Pinning and sharing! xoxo
Tracey Brewer says
Elizabeth, thank you for your kind words. Praying for God's grace and peace for you and your daughter through whatever difficult experience you're facing.
Amanda Bullard says
Beautifully written and I believe the words of so many mama's hearts you placed on this screen.
Tracey Brewer says
Thank you for your kind words – and for taking the time to comment here. Have a wonderful day!
This is so true, and it feels so bizarre to come at this now, being able to understand both sides. I was the only one of my friends who didn't really date in high school – not that I didn't want to! – And it was so hard… But looking back, it was perfect, and I hope the same for my daughter, but maybe without her feeling so awful about it in the moment…