I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I overslept and rushed everybody out the door.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I corrected my children with loud, shrill tones instead of gentle words.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I let them eat chips and cookies for breakfast.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I chose cleaning the kitchen over playing with dolls.

I was going to be a perfect mom today….then my daughter talked back and I lost my temper.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I got so busy scrolling Instagram that I wasn’t listening while she told me a story about the cat.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I had to dig through a pile of dirty laundry to find the t-shirt she needs to wear for school tomorrow.

I was going to be a perfect mom today…then I asked God for His power to grant me self-control, His wisdom to parent my children according to their own bent, His forgiveness for my failure to obey His commands, His grace to guide me through the rest of the day, and His love to shine through me to these children.

Because while I’ll never be a perfect mom, I can be a mom who, with God’s help, loves her children well and points them to our perfect Heavenly Father.

*Adapted from a post originally published in April 2014.

Sitting around the supper table recently, my family was discussing some memorable “misbehavior moments” from when our girls were younger.  It took me back to those early days of training and correction when it sometimes felt like nothing was working!

We often hear the term “strong-willed child.”  I would certainly say we have one that fits into that category!  I like this definition from Aha! Parenting.com.

“What exactly is a strong-willed child? Some parents call them “difficult” or “stubborn,” but we could also see strong-willed kids as people of integrity who aren’t easily swayed from their own viewpoints. Strong-willed kids are spirited and courageous. They want to learn things for themselves rather than accepting what others say, so they test the limits over and over.

They want desperately to be “in charge” of themselves, and will sometimes put their desire to “be right” above everything else. When their heart is set on something, their brains seem to have a hard time switching gears. Strong-willed kids have big, passionate feelings and live at full throttle.”

While we need to consistently pray for all of our children, sometimes those we would classify as strong-willed drive us to our knees more often than the others. Below, I’ve listed eight ways we can pray for those children in particular, as well as ways we can pray for ourselves as we guide them.  (I’m using the female tense here since I have daughters, but feel free to substitute “he/him” if your strong-willed child happens to be a boy!)

1. Give me wisdom to parent this child.  James 1:5 promises that God will answer this prayer!  I certainly need wisdom to know how to handle the daily struggles that come when she continually wants her own way, right then, no matter what.

2. Draw her to Yourself in salvation early in life.  Our ultimate desire in training our children is to have them be willing to submit their will to God’s.  As they yield their hearts to Jesus Christ in salvation, His Holy Spirit will begin to work in their lives. 

3. Help me to be firm in setting boundaries.   We get tired, and it’s so easy to cave in and just let her do what she wants.  If you’re like me, you just want peace in your family!  Every issue doesn’t need to turn into a power struggle (which is why I need wisdom), but when I take a stand, I need to see it through.

4. Channel her strong will into courage to stand up for what’s right.  Help me see the positive potential in her determined nature.  Use her to be a voice for those who are weaker, and to do great things for the cause of Christ.

5. On those days when I’m exhausted from the constant power struggles, remind me to find my strength in You.  Psalm 22:19 says, “But be not thou far from me, O Lord: O my strength, haste thee to help me.”  God can give us the help and strength we need for each day.

6. Grow her desire to obey.  So often that’s what it’s all about – obedience. Recognize and praise those times when she actually does do what she’s asked without a fight!  As we teach her to obey authority she can see and hear, that will hopefully lead to her obeying God and His Word.

7. As I parent her, show me how often I put my wishes and desires above Yours, so that I may repent.   I’ve learned more about myself through parenting my children than I ever dreamed I would!!  I’m not nearly as patient and easygoing as I might have thought I was before.  Often, God uses situations with my children to show me my own lack of self-control and sinfulness.

8. Even when it’s hard and I’m frustrated beyond belief, let me demonstrate Your love toward her.   Romans 5:8 tells me that even when I was steeped in my sin, Christ loved me enough to die for me.  No matter how unlovely she is in her moments of rebellion, I can allow the fruit of the Spirit to show love through me to her.

God has placed into our homes exactly the children He wants us to parent.  May we seek His help through prayer every day to train those children in a way that brings Him glory

*This was originally published in February 2017. I’m happy to report that my strong-willed child has grown into a delightful young woman.

You can also check out My Family Prayer Journal which is a printable PDF to help guide you as you pray for your children.

Related posts:

• A Prayer for Wisdom in Parenting My Children
• 7 Bible Verses to Remember When You Feel Discouraged as a Parent
• 4 Things to Do When You’ve Blown It with Your Kids

If it was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called labor. ~Anonymous

Last month, our 22-year-old daughter got married. That particular event has caused me to be more reflective about family life and parenting than at any other time. I haven’t been in the day-to-day trenches of parenting for a while, since both of our girls have been away at college. But it’s a whole new step when a child, adult that they are, moves out and starts their own family.

In the past 22 years, I certainly never reached the point where I thought I’d mastered this parenting thing. I learned something new on a regular basis. There was a lot of trial and error, and I learned as much – if not more – from my mistakes as I did any successes.

I realize that I’m still parenting, even though that looks different now. I look forward to how my relationships with our daughters will change and grow in the coming years.

As I reflected a bit on some of the lessons I’ve learned, here are ten tips I’d like to share if you’re still in the middle of your parenting journey.

1.  Let the little things go. 

How you and I define “little” things may differ, but over the years, I took to heart the saying, “Choose your battles.” To throw in another metaphor, not every hill was one worth dying on.

One of those little (to me) things I let go of during their teen years was insisting that they keep their bedroom neat. Throughout high school, both of our girls played sports, participated in fine arts, and worked. You wouldn’t think they were home long enough for their rooms to get messy 🙂 but they were. Most of the time, they’d do a clean-up on Saturday mornings, so for the rest of the week, I just overlooked the piles of clothes and whatever else was stacked up or scattered around the room.

2.  Attitude is everything – hers and mine. 

Yes, either one or both of our daughters occasionally needed an attitude correction – but often I needed to address mine before helping her with hers. There were times when that meant setting a discussion aside until one or both of us had calmed down.

Be approachable and willing to listen. Yes, we’re the parents and we have to set boundaries and enforce consequences. But we can do all of that while showing our children that we love them and want what’s best for them.

3.  Apologize fully. 

When you’ve blown it, apologize. Look her in the eyes and say I’m sorry that I handled that situation incorrectly. Show your child what humility looks like.

4.  Remember that rearing children is a process. 

What happens today is not a full picture of you as a parent. It’s only a snapshot. It’s the weeks and months and years of training and correction and love and prayer that will make them into men and women of character and faith.

5.  A sense of humor lightens my load and theirs.

Sometimes things are just funny, so laugh. Some of our most memorable family moments came when things didn’t unfold as planned…like getting caught in a torrential downpour while walking across the Brooklyn Bridge or taking a wrong turn while driving in Arizona and ending up at the border to Mexico. I’m not saying that they were all our favorite times, but they were memorable!

6.  Losing my temper accomplishes…nothing.

Did you know that there’s a Bible verse about this? “For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” (James 1:20) Our anger will not produce God’s righteousness in ourselves or our children.

Under this point, I’ll include the value of learning to bite your tongue. Often our first response is not the best one, and, in almost every situation, taking a minute or two to think before you speak is helpful.

7.  Be firm, with no drama. 

If consequences for misbehavior are forthcoming, just state them simply and move on.  No browbeating, no lecturing, and no debating allowed.

8.  Work to build strong sibling relationships. 

By the grace of God, our girls are very close friends today. I wouldn’t have thought that would be the case during certain periods in their growing-up years! But it was always a goal of mine and something I wanted to promote as much as possible. I wrote more about this in an older post, Five “C’s” for Creating Caring Sibling Relationships.

9.  Be creative with correction.  

There are many different ways to teach your child a lesson. Natural consequences were always my favorite, but they weren’t always available. However, as much as we can, making the “punishment” fit the “crime” will make more of an impact than using the same consequence over and over.

10. Seek wisdom. 

If I had all the answers, I wouldn’t need God – and how I need Him!! Never was it more evident than during my years of parenting children in our home, especially in the teen years. How thankful I am that at every life stage, God promises to give us His wisdom if we’ll just ask and believe He’ll provide it. (James 1:5-6)

There’s also value in friendships with moms and dads who’ve already parented their children through the stage that you’re in. They can share what worked and didn’t work for them – as well as offer a sympathetic ear if you just need someone to listen!

The neat thing is that this last tip carries over to my current status of parenting young adults. Praying for our daughters and what’s going on in their lives as well as asking God for wisdom on how to best relate to them now is an ongoing process.

I’m excited about this new phase of life, adding a son-in-law to our family and watching him and our daughter grow in their young marriage. May God continue to bless us and our children as we walk with Him!

Related posts:

• 5 Truths About Trusting God with Our Kids
• 7 Important Things to Remember as We Pray for Our Teenagers
• 5 Things Parenting Is Teaching Me About My Relationship with God

Happy November, friends! I’m quite excited about the next couple of months. Our girls will be home from college for Thanksgiving and then Christmas break, and I’m looking forward to the memories we’ll be making together.

The topic of today’s blog post actually fits in here quite nicely. No matter what stage of parenting you’re in – from newborn to adult children – we have opportunities to learn how to trust God with our kids.

Admittedly, we feel like we have more control when they’re younger. The more independent they get, the more opportunities we have to step back and trust God.

Let’s look at five truths we know about trusting God with our children.

1. God loves our children fully and completely.

We love in a limited way. It’s the best that we know how, but we’re not perfect. In spite of loving our children, we still get frustrated and impatient with them at times.

God knows all about our children and loves them just as they are. His love is pure and complete. And He always knows what is best for them. Which leads us right into the next truth.

2. God has a plan for our children’s lives and he will fulfill it.

What’s neat here is that God’s plan is perfect. Ours is not. Perhaps unconsciously we put expectations or demands on our children that spring from our own misguided desires. We may be trying to push our children into our own ideas of what they should be or do.

God’s plan is exactly what our children need. He knows them, how they’re wired, their strengths and weaknesses. Remember what the Lord told Jeremiah? “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.” [1:5]

3. God has the power to accomplish his purposes in our children’s lives.

I can plan and scheme for what I want for my children, but I can’t make things happen. God, on the other hand, is all-powerful. He uses people and circumstances that he places in our children’s lives to fulfill his plan.

And as hard as it is for us to watch, he even uses unpleasant situations – a hard teacher, a difficult coach, a disloyal friend – to teach our children lessons they need to learn. Just like with us as parents, it’s often through trials that they experience the most growth.

4. God is a compassionate Father who cares about every detail of our children’s lives.

We’re familiar with the passages from the Bible that remind us of this. The hairs of our head are numbered. God’s eye is on the sparrow. [Matthew 10:29-31] We’re to cast all our cares on him because he cares for us. [1 Peter 5:7]

God knows all about our children’s heartaches, their disappointments, their hurts. Not only does he know, he also cares deeply and is able to offer comfort.

5. I can have peace as I trust God with my children.

I can let go of my fretting and worrying. Trusting God with my children means that I stop trying to work it all out for them…or for me.

My part is to pray and trust. We take our concerns to God and let Him do the rest.

Last week I was burdened about a difficulty one of our girls was facing. I headed to my Bible and my journal and wrote out a prayer for her. When I got up from my chair, I felt peace about the situation, that God was in control and He was right there with her.

Isaiah 26:3 says, “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” Let’s ask God to help us totally trust him with our children. After all, they’re his. He’s blessed us with these lives to steward for him. But they’re His precious creation and we can trust Him to love and care for them always.

Related posts:

• 10 Ways a Wise Woman Parents Her Children
• 10 Ways to Manage All the Hopes and Dreams We Have for Our Children
• 3 Convicting Reasons Why We Don’t Trust God

In recent years I’ve noticed that once we reach October, it might as well be January because these last three months of the year go by so quickly! Since we’re in the midst of planning our older daughter’s wedding, I think that will be even more true this year.

Last week we talked about some keys to having a good marriage, so today I thought we’d talk a bit about parenting. The same principle applies to this topic as it did to marriage – I’ve been doing it for a lot of years, but I’m still learning!

Below is a list of ten ways that a wise woman parents her children. I didn’t include love on the list – because as moms, I would hope that’s a given – but certainly, loving our children is the basis for all of the other attributes we’ll look at.

A wise woman parents her children…

1. …with grace.

She doesn’t expect perfection. She trains her children and has expectations for their behavior, but she knows we’re all sinners.

Yes, our children will sin. Actually quite often, in certain stages. And consequences will be necessary. But let’s remember our own struggles and give grace to our children as they learn to choose right and overcome wrong.

2. …with prayer.

We’d expect this to be on the list. But do we recognize the importance of praying for our children daily? We want to be talking to God about our children, asking for His protection, for His guidance, for Him to be working in their lives. (If you want a quick list, here are 5 Prayers to Pray for Your Children Every Day.)

3. …with self-control.

Step away from the harsh words and the angry tone! In the heat of the moment when dealing with our children, those reactions may make us feel better momentarily. But as James 1:20 tells us, the anger of man doesn’t produce the righteousness of God.

Ask the Holy Spirit to allow the fruit of self-control to be evident in your life as you parent your children.

4. …with wisdom.

We know about James 1:5 where we’re told that if we ask for wisdom, God will give it to us. I’ve never needed wisdom more than in parenting! (Here’s a prayer for wisdom in parenting.)

We also need discernment, whether it’s making sure to get the whole story before making a decision or knowing how to handle different situations that come up. I like Proverbs 31:27 which says, “She looketh well to the ways of her household…” A wise woman is aware of what’s going on with her people and is able to act wisely because of it.

5. …with a long view.

We’re not parenting for today. Our goal is to raise adults who love and want to serve God and others. So what we do today needs to work toward that end.

We’re seeking to build character and teach our children how to make good decisions and wise choices on their own. Doing that training while they’re under our roof allows us to help guide them so they can learn from their mistakes.

6. …with courage.

It’s not always easy to stand up to culture, to lead your family in doing what you believe is right. It takes determination and endurance to follow through on how you believe God would have you parent your children.

7. …with patience.

I can think of a number of ways this applies…some as practical as being patient while you’re sitting in the car waiting for a late sports practice to end!

Here’s another fruit of the Spirit (longsuffering) that we can exemplify in our parenting. The quick results we want to see in our kids’ behavior or character may take longer than anticipated to develop. But seeing them (maybe finally!) mature and watching God work in their lives is a blessing worth waiting for.

8. …with hope.

In the daily grind of parenting, it can be easy to think that we’ll forever be correcting and disciplining our children. Or as our older children make decisions that disappoint us, we can get discouraged.

But we have a God who hears our prayers and who is always at work in our children’s lives…and in ours. Psalm 71:14 says, “ But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more.“

9. …with humility.

I’ve been parenting for over twenty years and I still learn new things about how to do it better. May we never think we know it all, but always be open to growing in our knowledge and in our relationships with our kids.

10. …with a sense of humor.

Yes, parenting is serious business, but remember to look at the lighter side of things, too. Laugh with your children. Find fun things to do together.

In blessing our lives with children, God has given us a great privilege and responsibility. May we go to God in prayer and follow the truths we find in His Word so that we can do it wisely!

Related posts:

• 20 Things I’ve Learned in 20 Years of Parenting
• 7 Life Principles from Proverbs to Teach Our Children
• 10 Ways to Manage All the Hopes and Dreams We Have for Our Children

Happy post-Labor Day week! My husband and I had a couple of fun outings over the long weekend, which was very nice.

On Monday I did a quick closet switchover. I moved many of my summer clothes to the back of the closet and got my fall and winter clothes front and center. I like to do that before I start shopping for fall clothes so that I have a better idea of what I already own – even though I know it will be awhile before I need warmer clothing!

This past Sunday I was talking to a friend of my daughter’s who just turned 20. It reminded me that when our younger daughter turns 20 in December, I’ll give up the title of “mom of a teenager” forever. Between our two girls, t’s been a nine-year run and it’s hard to believe that it’s almost over!

Today I’m sharing a list of seven things that our teenage daughters need to hear from us. As I look back, I wish I’d said these even more often. But it’s not too late – I know my young adult children need to hear them, too! And I’m confident they apply to teenage sons as well.

1. I love you no matter what.

Our daughters need to know that their actions don’t change our love for them. No matter what they’ve done – or haven’t done – we will always love them and want to be in a relationship with them.

Not only do we need to say these words, but our actions need to reflect them. When our daughters disappoint us, work through the situation with grace and forgiveness.

2. I’m proud of you.

In a world of competition and comparison, let’s tell our daughters often that we’re proud of them. Proud of their accomplishments, yes, but more so of their character and the wonderful young women they’re becoming.

Admittedly there may be days when it’s hard to find something positive to say. But if you look for something to praise her for, you can find it.

3. God has a plan for your life.

Our teenagers are at an age where they’re making lots of life decisions. It can be overwhelming and confusing. Remind her often that God has a plan for her life.

Share Bible verses like Psalm 32:8. “I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.”

4. Thank you.

Express your gratitude when she does something you’ve asked her to do or takes the initiative to do something on her own. Yes, this means thanking her even when she does something she’s supposed to do.

I like being thanked for making a meal even though it’s something I consider part of my “job.” If I like that, I’m guessing that she will, too. We all like to be appreciated.

5. I’m sorry. Will you please forgive me?

We may find ourselves saying this more than we would like. We’re going to make mistakes as parents and we need to be humble enough to admit it.

She already knows (or should!) that we’re not perfect. Not only will this show her that we’re willing to take responsibility for our faults; it can also show her the importance of apologizing when she’s done wrong.

6. I’m praying for you.

Your daughter needs a prayer warrior on her side, someone who will go to the throne of God for her. While you likely know areas of her life where she needs prayer, ask her often if she has anything that she’d like you to pray for on her behalf.

7. You’ve got this.

Let’s give our girls some confidence when they face hard things! You can remind her of how she came through a difficult situation in the past. Let her know that you believe in her abilities and – like we just said – that you’re praying for her to have the strength and wisdom to handle what’s ahead.

While parenting a teen girl can be challenging some days, those years are also filled with many new adventures and chances to make special memories. On a regular basis, may we speak love and encouragement to these precious lives God has given us to steward for Him.

Related posts:

• A Letter to My Teenage Daughter: I Think One Day You’ll Understand
• 7 Ways to Show Love to Your Teenage Daughter
• 10 Ways to Build a Relationship with Your Teenager

(This post was originally published on August 24, 2015.  The girl who was starting her freshman year of high school is now entering her senior year of college!  Though some time has passed, this advice still holds true.)

Today our older daughter starts high school.  These are the years you remember throughout adulthood, a time to make memories and friends and earn a grade point average that actually counts toward college acceptance.

I want her to be grounded in who she is, in who she surrounds herself with, and, most of all, in her walk with God.  So many spiritual decisions that could affect the rest of her life begin here.

With that in mind, on her first day of high school, here are eight pieces of advice I’d like to share with her.

1.  Always remember that God loves you.  Whatever crosses your path each day has been foreordained by Him.  His grace is sufficient.  (2 Corinthians 12:9)  You can do all things through His strength.  (Philippians 4:13)

2.  Recognize that you are made in His image, wonderfully put together.  “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made….How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!”  (Psalm 139:14, 17)  Your physical traits, your personality, your strengths and weaknesses were all designed by God to be used in His plan for your life and to bring Him glory.

3.  Be friendly to everyone.  “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly:….”  (Proverbs 18:24)  That 7th grader you barely know?  Say “hello” when you pass her in the hall.  The boy you’re standing in front of in the lunch line?  Smile at him.  The new girl in your grade?  See if she needs help finding a classroom.  The teacher who seems to be having a hard day?  Say something kind.

4.  Be true to yourself.  Don’t change who you are to fit into a crowd or please a friend.  Be willing to stand alone, if necessary.  Even at a Christian school, there will be peer pressure to do wrong.  Have the courage to choose to do what’s right.

5.  Use your time wisely.  “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.”  (Psalm 90:12)  Apply yourself to your classes and learn all you can.  Outside of the classroom, explore your interests and put your time into activities you enjoy.  Choose extra-curricular activities that are fun and that introduce you to new people.

6.  Stretch yourself.  Try something you think is just outside of your comfort zone.

7.  Stay above the drama.  Don’t allow yourself to get dragged into friends’ and classmates’ disagreements.

8.  Make fun memories.  “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”  (Ecclesiastes 3:1)  With your family, your friends, and your classmates enjoy this season and remember these stories that you’ll be telling your kids in 20 years!

What other advice do you have for a new high schooler?

Hello friends! I’m back on the blog after a week away for our family vacation. We spent a couple of days exploring Philadelphia, which was fun for us since we all like checking out historical sites. Then we had a day at Hershey Park, a morning visiting Amish country in Lancaster, and finished up with a few days at Bear Creek Mountain Resort, which was very relaxing!

Our daughter’s fiance came in for the July 4th weekend and it was nice, as always, to have him here. And now it’s July 6th already and it feels as if summer is just flying by!

Yesterday I was catching up with a mom who’s just ahead of me in parenting. She already has a couple of young adult married children. We’ve known each other for a while, and she and her husband were a hugely positive influence on our daughters during their high school years.

I was reminded of some of the rough spots we hit with our girls during those teenage years. She and I talked about how rewarding it is when your children make it through those trials and, as best as you can tell, are walking with the Lord.

As I think back over the struggles we had at times, I tried to pinpoint what kept us in relationship with our teens. If I had to name one overarching theme, I would say that our daughters believed that our heart was for them. Even when they disagreed or didn’t like our decisions, I believe they sensed that our desire – whether we always communicated it well or not – was that we wanted what was best for them.

I understand that there are many parents with prodigal children who’ve turned away from God, at least for the moment. Our children make their own choices and they can break our hearts. That could be the case in our family tomorrow. But I wanted to share ten things that will hopefully help us as we try to build relationships with our teenagers.

First, let’s look at five things NOT to do when trying to build a relationship with your teenager.

1. Make arbitrary decisions.

Once our children are teenagers, it’s good to move beyond answering their “Why?” questions with “…because I said so.” Try not to make decisions based on a whim or simply because you’re in a good – or a bad – mood.

As Christians, we have the Bible on which to base our decisions. Use Scripture to explain why you are or aren’t allowing something. Does that mean that they will always understand and jump on board with your decision? No, but you do have a reason for what you’re doing, not just something you made up.

2. Be inconsistent.

We all like to know what the boundaries are whether in a job situation or in a relationship. We want our children to be able to trust that our response will be the same no matter what.

3. Be unwilling to listen to them.

Listening doesn’t mean you will give in to what they want, but you can at least give them the courtesy of hearing them out. Communication is foundational to any relationship, so don’t let yourself be the only one who gets to talk.

4. Compare them to others.

Maybe your friend’s teenager gets better grades or is more involved in extracurricular activities or seems more spiritual than your child. Even if you don’t verbalize the comparison, it can affect how you respond to your teen.

5. Fail to acknowledge your own mistakes.

If you’re doing everything perfectly in parenting, I don’t even know what to say. You certainly don’t need to be reading here – please go write your own blog and I’ll come read it!

One of my dad’s favorite lines, when I was a teenager, was, “I’ve never parented a __-year-old before.” We’ve certainly used that with our older daughter – and we could find ways to apply it with our younger one as well. We’re going to make mistakes as parents and we should be willing to go to our child and admit it and ask forgiveness.

Now let’s look at five positive things that we could do to build that relationship.

1. Support their interests.

It may mean spending a little money and perhaps lots of time, but support them in the activities they’re interested in. And make sure it’s their interest and not just yours.

2. Spend time with them doing what they enjoy.

When we were at Hershey Park, I was sharing a memory about my dad with one of my daughters. I’m not sure that my dad actually enjoyed roller coasters, but I do know that if any of us kids wanted someone to ride with us, he would do it.

It’s easy to bring our teenagers into what we love, but let’s make sure we’re seeking to know what their interests are and find ways to join them in it.

3. Pray.

I’ve written a lot about praying for our teenagers already! Pray for specific needs in their lives, and pray for wisdom for yourself as you parent them. Our sovereign God loves them and His Holy Spirit can guide all of us through this season.

4. Use your words to lift them up.

There’s plenty to criticize and lots of things to correct. But let’s keep some of that in check so that we can say, “I love you” and “I’m proud of you.” Be specific with your praise and especially take advantage of opportunities to praise their character and not just their accomplishments.

5. Celebrate their joys and empathize with their sorrows.

Make a point to find ways to celebrate when good things happen for them! That’s usually a lot easier than dealing with a disappointed teen. Be available to listen and empathize without having to offer a solution right away.

I hope these ten ideas will help all of us as we seek to build better relationships with our teenagers!

Related posts:

• 7 Ways to Parent a Teenager
• What to Do When Your Teenager Disappoints You
• 5 Things Parenting Is Teaching Me About My Relationship with God