Girls To Grow

Nurturing moms in their walk with God

5 Things We Might Ask God to Change in our Lives

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Hello and happy Spring!! This is my first post since we officially hit spring on Sunday.

I was in Florida last weekend visiting our girls at college and Saturday and Sunday were such beautiful days!! There were severe thunderstorms and a tornado watch on Friday, so I was even more thankful for the nice weather after that.

We had a wonderful time together for those few days. This trip included our first round of wedding dress shopping for our older daughter. Seeing her in a gown and veil made me realize that this wedding is really happening! Such a change for all of us, but a very happy one.

Change is actually the theme of today’s blog post. We’ve all likely been through seasons when we’ve asked God to change something around us. Let’s look at five areas we might have prayed for God to change in our lives.

Here's a list of five things we might ask God to change in our lives along with three ways to respond if He doesn't.

1. Our location.

Maybe you didn’t like the weather or the part of the country. Perhaps you wanted to be closer to family…or farther away from them. Missing a group of friends or a church community may cause you to ask God to change the location of where you live.

2. Our family situation.

You’re single and want to be married. Or you want children but are struggling with infertility. Maybe you wanted a daughter, but God gave you three sons. Whatever our family structure, we can often wish that something were different.

3. Our health.

Some people live with chronic illnesses. Others have a disease that’s in remission but could flare up at a moment’s notice. Or maybe it’s just ongoing aches and pains that we’d like to be rid of so that our lifestyle isn’t impacted.

4. Our trials.

If we got a vote, I doubt any of us would voluntarily sign up for trials! Whether they’re financial or physical, involve rejection or disappointment, trials test our faith.

5. Our relationships.

It could be a work situation, a leader at church, or a family member that seems to bring out the worst in us. We believe that if God could just deliver us from that interpersonal struggle, life would be so much better.

So is it okay to pray and ask God to change one or more of these things in our lives? Unless what we’re asking for violates a Bible principle, I believe it is. And as we pray, God may choose to change our location. He may give us a new family situation or meet a health need. God may deliver us quickly from a trial and bring resolution to a strained relationship.

But if we’ve asked and He hasn’t changed the situation, what should be our response? Let’s look at three things.

1. Remember that His grace is sufficient.

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” ~2 Corinthians 12:9

If nothing changes today or tomorrow or next week, we can know that His grace will be sufficient for us right where we are.

2. Believe that God has a purpose in everything He does.

“The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O Lord, endureth forever: forsake not the works of thine own hands.” ~Psalm 138:8

If we sense that God’s answer to our prayer to change something is “no,” then we get the opportunity to trust Him. We get to rest in the knowledge that He knows what is best for us.

3. Know that God uses all things to grow us to become more like Christ.

“For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.” ~Romans 8:29

Whether the situation we’re praying about changes or not, we can know that God is always directing events in our lives to draw us to Him. Constantly smooth roads and uninterrupted happiness would not create the depth of character that we need to mature in our faith.

Are you praying about something in your life today that you’d like to see change? I trust that God will give you peace about the situation and grace to move forward whatever the answer.

“For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.” ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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What to Do When Your Teenager Disappoints You

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Hello, my friends!! Welcome back to the blog!

March is a full month for us. My mom was here visiting last week, and I leave tomorrow to fly down to Florida to see our daughters at college. They’re currently finishing up midterm exams, so I expect there to be lots of eating, shopping, and sleeping 🙂

Yesterday one of those “4 years ago today” videos popped up, and it was from a fine arts competition our girls were in on March 15, 2018. Our younger daughter was a high school freshman and the older one a junior, and it was a walk down memory lane to watch those old performances.

We were right in the middle of the “parenting teenagers” years at that point. There were some wonderfully sweet moments and some rather difficult ones. As is true in any parenting stage, there were a few times when our children disappointed us. When they do that as teenagers, though, the stakes can seem higher. The mistakes they make in those years can have long-lasting consequences.

As we walk through those times when our teenagers frustrate us or fail to meet our expectations, here are seven things we can do to navigate the situation graciously.

7 things you can do when dealing with a teenager who's disappointed you in some way

1. Affirm your love for them.

When something your teenager’s done or a choice they’ve made disappoints you, let them know that you still love them. Your love is not based on anything except the fact that he or she is your child. Yes, their actions may disappoint you, but your love for them doesn’t change.

2. Wait before addressing the issue.

Make sure you have all the facts before you begin dealing with the situation. And even once you have all the information, take time for a few deep breaths or to get your emotions under control if needed. I like to take a minute and think through what I want to communicate in our discussion.

3. Have reasonable consequences.

Natural consequences are the best teacher, so let those play out if applicable. Otherwise, try to tie any consequences to their actions. For example, “You went somewhere you weren’t supposed to, so now you have to hang out at home for two weeks.” You can also have your teenager weigh in on what they think the consequences should be. They may be harder on themselves than you think they will be.

4. Refuse to focus on what others (friends, family members) are going to say about the situation.

Whatever happened is only between you, your child, and any other person that was directly involved. Otherwise, unless you seek a trusted person’s wise counsel, no one else has the right to speak into the situation.

5. Talk to God about your disappointment.

Your mama’s heart hurts. The path your child went down is not one you wanted for them. Go to God for comfort and refuge. And pray for your teenager, that they will learn from this and that God will use it to mature them.

6. Leave it in the past and refuse to bring it up again.

Once consequences, if necessary, have been given, it’s over. Don’t rehash it the next time they do something wrong. What’s done is done, so move on.

7. Don’t blame yourself for your child’s poor decision.

They made their choice and they’ll have to live with it. Should you do an honest evaluation to see if you might handle something differently in the future? Sure. But what they decided to do is not your fault, so lose the guilt.

It’s probably safe to say that every teenager disappoints their parents some time, whether in a small way or a more notable one. But we’d all admit that we’re not perfect parents either! If our teens can learn from their mistakes today, they can be better prepared for the future. Let’s ask God to give us wisdom to handle these situations and seek to maintain a loving relationship with our children throughout the teenage years.

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How Does a Wise Woman Find Her Identity in Christ?

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Welcome to the blog today! My mom is here visiting for a few days, so I’m enjoying our time together. She’s our first official guest in the new house!

It seems like we hear a lot these days about identity or finding our identity. What does that even mean?

Here’s what I found on the website YourDictionary.

“The definition of identity is who you are, the way you think about yourself, the way you are viewed by the world, and the characteristics that define you.“

So what defines you? How do you identify yourself? I think many times we identify ourselves by the roles we play. But here’s what I’m coming to realize about my identity.

It’s not in being a wife.

It’s not in being a mom.

It’s not in a job title or occupation.

It’s not in accomplishments.

It’s not even wrapped up in the ministry I do.

It’s not in what other people think of you. (I can get caught up in this one.)

It’s who I am in Christ. It’s seeing myself as God sees me.

And the same is true for you.

So how can we as Christian women find our identity? Here are eight ways a wise woman will find her identity in Christ.

Here's a list of eight ways that a woman who wants to be wise can find her identity in Jesus Christ.

1. She recognizes that she is a child of God.

“But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:” ~John 1:12

If we have trusted Jesus Christ as our Savior, we are His daughters. First He created us and then He redeemed us. If we’re moms, all those emotions of love and joy and compassion that we feel for our children, our Heavenly Father feels for us.

2. She knows that God loves her.

“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ~Romans 8:38-39

What a verse to lean on! There is nothing in or out of this world that can separate us from God’s love. Maybe someone that I thought loved me doesn’t act like they do anymore. I never have to doubt God’s love. It is constant and sure.

3. She understands that she is fearfully and wonderfully made.

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” ~Psalm 139:14

Remarkably, wondrously, marvelously – that’s how you and I were made. God knit our bodies together in His own unique plan for us. He gave us our strengths and weaknesses, our gifts and talents and even our shortcomings. After all, those are what drive us to rely on Him. Nothing about the way we’re made is a mistake.

4. She finds comfort in knowing that God thinks about her.

“How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!” ~Psalm 139:17

I don’t think my mind can truly grasp the truth that God thinks many thoughts about me. What a comfort that is, to know that an all-powerful, all-knowing, always present God has me and my needs – and you and yours – on His mind.

5. She remembers that she is God’s workmanship, created for a purpose.

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” ~Ephesians 2:10

Know that we are each created for a purpose. No matter our age or stage of life, God has something for us to accomplish.

6. She rejoices because she is free from the power of sin.

“Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.” ~Hebrews 6:6

We won’t be perfect until we get to Heaven. However, because of our salvation and through the power of the Holy Spirit, we don’t have to sin. We can have victory and not be enslaved to the passions of the flesh. That anger problem? The bitterness? That tongue that gets you into trouble? We can break free from those sins with the Lord’s help.

7. She believes that God hears her prayers.

“But verily God hath heard me; he hath attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, which hath not turned away my prayer, nor his mercy from me.” ~Psalm 66:19-20

We have a God who hears and answers our prayers. We can rest in that truth even we don’t see the outcome we want right away.

8. She knows that one day she will be like Him.

“Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.” ~1 John 3:2

One day we will see Jesus. Our sinful nature will disappear. We will live and reign with Christ forever. Surely there’s no greater identity we could want for ourselves!

We will have many roles during our lifetime – daughter, sister, friend, student, employee, wife, mother, business owner, grandmother – the list could go on. But as we live out each of those roles, through the changing seasons of life, we can always rest in who we are as a beloved child of God.

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10 Terrific Ideas for What to Put in Your Child’s Easter Basket

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Welcome to Girls to Grow on this almost-spring Friday in March!  I hope your week’s been a good one.

Today is a bit of a throwback post to when our daughters were younger.  Putting together Easter baskets for them each year is a long-standing family tradition.  At 21 and 19, our girls still get Easter baskets, but they look a little different now – except that they each still get a chocolate Easter bunny!

When they were younger, I definitely tried to limit the amount of candy we gave them.  That meant coming up with other fun items to fill up the Easter baskets.  Below I’m sharing ten categories of items that I pulled from over the years.  I’ve included links to some items, but you will likely find most of them in your dollar store or other superstores.

I hope these ideas give you some inspiration as you choose things to fill your child’s Easter basket!

This post may contain Amazon affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from qualifying purchases at no extra charge to you. Thank you for supporting Girls to Grow through your purchases!

Here are ten categories of mostly non-candy items that you can use to fill up your child's Easter basket.
  1. Books.  Everyone in our family is a reader, so you know I wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to add to our bookshelves!  If I remember to shop ahead, I can find inexpensive used books at a used book store or from our library’s sale shelves.  I especially enjoy adding to some of our favorite series, like The Happy Hollisters or The Puppy Place or The Cul-de-Sac Kids.
  2. Summer toys.  I have used sand buckets as Easter baskets and added shovels, rakes and sand toys – or you can buy a set of beach toys. Sidewalk chalk, bubbles, jump ropes or water guns along with sunglasses, pool floats, or other pool toys are fun additions.
  3. Pajamas, nightgowns or a bathing suit.  These are clothing items that I would purchase anyway, so sometimes I make them part of our girls’ Easter baskets.  I love Carter’s nightgowns and pajamas – they have cute designs and are good quality.
  4. Accessories.  Hair bows, barrettes, jewelry, fancy socks or small purses can be used as part of their Easter outfit for church.
  5. An Easter dress for their doll.  So I kind of miss the days when our girls and their 18-inch dolls wore matching dressses! That didn’t happen every season, but it was so cute when it did. But even if they didn’t match, it was fun for their doll to have a new Easter dress, too.
  6. Art supplies.  Coloring books, crayons, markers, pens, paints, sticker pads or modeling clay all provide entertainment for our girls.  One year I gave them journals, which is something they’d still enjoy receiving today.
  7. Seed packets.  Spring is a perfect time to gift them packets of flower seeds along with with a cute planter for growing their own flowers.
  8. Chocolate bunny rabbit.  This was my one candy concession, although I may add a pack of gum or mints, too.
  9. Bath items.  Shower gels, bath poufs and bath bombs are “girly” items that will be used often.
  10. Kitchen utensils.  It was fun for our daughters, especially as they got older, to have their own tools if they helped me in the kitchen. Measuring spoons, whisks, cookie scoops, and cookie cutters (these Easter ones are really cute!) can all be used when they cook with me while also beginning a collection for their own home one day.

As I mentioned, our daughters’ Easter baskets look somewhat different these days. They’ll still include that chocolate bunny and a book, maybe a Starbucks gift card, some bath and body products, perhaps earrings. And our daughter who’s getting married next year may still get a couple of kitchen utensils to round out her collection!

I hope you have lots of fun building your child’s Easter basket in 2022!

5 Ways to Have a Christ-Centered Home

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Welcome to the first blog post of March 2022! The weather here is warming up and I’m already noticing a few weeds poking through the grass in the yard here at our new house. I’m not someone who enjoys yard work, so it’s a good thing my husband likes getting out there! It will be fun to see what he does with the landscaping as we get into spring and summer.

No matter what stage of life you’re in – single, newlywed, parenting young children, or the empty nest – as Christians, our goal can always be to have a Godly home. We influence the people who live there as well as those who visit. So how do we start thinking about cultivating a Christ-centered home?

You’re likely familiar with Joshua 24:15. “And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

It’s a choice. In this passage, Joshua lays out the options for the children of Israel and tells them to make a decision. And then he makes it clear to them what his choice will be. In the same way, we can commit to doing the best job that we can to have a Godly focus in our homes.

So once we make that decision, what’s next? How might we put that into practice? Here are five things we can do to have a Christ-centered home.

Check out this list of five important things you can do to have a Christ-centered home.

1. Make God’s Word a priority.

This starts with us individually spending time in our Bible. Then it can extend to having a family Bible time. It doesn’t have to be long and drawn out, but find a few minutes in the day – maybe before or after a meal, or at bedtime – when everyone can gather to read and talk about a Scripture verse and pray.

As you’re working around the house, you can play Christian podcasts or listen to sermons online. If your child is memorizing Bible verses for a kids’ program at church, work on that together. Talk through what the verse means and how it might apply to their lives.

2. Use prayer as a first resort.

If your child comes home from school talking about an issue with a teacher or a friend, what’s your first response? Mine was usually to find out the details and decide if I needed to intervene in any way.

You know what would have been the best first step? To pray about it. Just right then and there. Pray for whoever else was involved, pray for your child, pray for wisdom on how to deal with the situation.

That’s just one example, but in so many issues that arise in our homes, prayer is the best first response. There may be other actions we need to take, but taking it to God first can give us peace and direction.

3. Choose good music and play it often.

We have an Amazon Echo in our living area, so it’s easy to ask Alexa to play a playlist for us – and it’s still not something I do regularly enough! You could also make singing part of your family Bible time. Sing a hymn or a chorus – and if someone plays an instrument and can accompany the family, even better!

4. Focus on attitudes as much as actions.

It’s usually a lot easier to correct or discipline our kids for actions instead of attitudes. It can take more time to drill down into a bad attitude and figure out what’s really going on in your child’s heart.

We want to encourage our children to be grateful, considerate of other family members, full of joy, and so much more. As my dad always said, “Attitude is everything.” Get that right, and the actions will tend to correct themselves.

5. Have open discussions about everything.

Whether it’s around the supper table, sitting on their bed at night, or riding in the car, be approachable. Don’t shut down when they bring up certain topics. You may need to tailor your answers based on what’s age-appropriate. But help your kids feel comfortable talking about anything from spiritual questions to friend breakups to something strange that they heard about from kids at school.

As these conversations come up, use principles you know from God’s Word to guide the discussion. Help your children see that no matter what they’re up against, they can find help, encouragement, and guidance from Bible principles.

I’ll confess that I’m convicted about doing better in all of these areas! May each of us ask God to show us how we can have homes that bring honor and glory to Him.

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5 Fun Finds for February 2022

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Hello on this last Friday of the month! Do you feel like February has flown by? It sure seems that way here. I’m looking forward to what’s ahead in March, though, as I have several fun things planned.

And speaking of fun 🙂 Five Fun Finds is a monthly feature I usually send out to email subscribers, but occasionally I bring it over here to the blog. (You can click here to subscribe to my email list and receive weekly updates and other content.) So here’s my list of five things I’m enjoying this February!

This post may contain Amazon affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from qualifying purchases at no extra charge to you. Thank you for supporting Girls to Grow through your purchases!

1. Calloway Mills Pineapple Doormat Natural/Black. I wanted a big welcome mat for the front door at our new house and this one is a nice, large size. I’ve had it down for over a month now, and it looks good and is holding up well.

2. Praying the Scriptures for Your Adult Children by Jodie Berndt. I’ve mentioned this book before, but it’s worth bringing up again. Each chapter deals with different topics to pray about that are specifically related to adult children. At the end of each chapter, she includes Scripture-based prayers that readers can pray. I will definitely re-read this book on a regular basis.

3. Slow Cooker Pork Chops and Rice. Over supper one night last week, my husband and I were reminiscing about some of the meals I made when we were first married. He mentioned that he really liked a pork chops and rice recipe I used to make in the slow cooker. I must have made that recipe every other week back then and I got so. tired. of. it. I don’t know that our girls have even ever had it – that’s how long it’s been since I made it. But I love my husband 🙂 so I found this recipe that I’m planning to make next week. Hopefully, it will be as good as the one he remembers. I’ll let you know!

4. Banana Republic Factory Knit Moto Jacket. I bought this jacket several weeks ago and like it so much!! It’s softer than say a denim jacket and very comfortable. I got it in the vegan (kind of olive green) color and it’s a great weight for this late winter/early spring weather.

5. Untrammelife 4-Light Black-Lantern Pendant Light. I was looking for a light fixture for my husband’s office and this caught my eye. It would also be great in an entryway, over a kitchen island, or in a breakfast nook.

After several days away, my husband gets home from Minneapolis tonight, so I’m looking forward to catching up with him! Tomorrow night we’re attending his company’s annual awards gala, so that will be our big event for the weekend. Hope yours is a good one!

10 Essential Things That Wise Women Do

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Welcome back to Girls to Grow! My sweet husband has been traveling to some colder places – Denver last week and Minneapolis this week – and it’s making me appreciate the warmer days we’re having here in South Carolina in late February. It’s exciting to realize that spring is only a few weeks away!

There’s a neat feature on the backend of the blog where I can see what search terms people use to find my blog posts. Very frequently, one of those terms has to do with being a wise woman.

I’ve written a few posts on that topic before, and I’ll link them in the “Related Posts” section below. However, today I thought we’d dig into ten essential things that wise women do. I hope we’ll recognize some on the list that already characterize our lives, and maybe find a few that we can work on!

Want to be a wise woman? Check out this list of ten Bible-based things that wise women do.

1. Think before they speak.

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: ~James 1:19

Isn’t this an appropriate place to start? Controlling our tongue is probably a lifelong struggle for all of us! But taking a quick second to think before we make a comment or respond to someone can save us from a lot of heartache or misunderstanding.

Also, do you remember Proverbs 17:28? “Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.” Sometimes the best course of action is to just say nothing at all!

2. Study God’s Word.

The entrance of thy words giveth light; it giveth understanding unto the simple. ~Psalm 119:130

It only makes sense that if we want to be wise we’ll read God’s Word, study it, and meditate on it. We can think of practical ways to do this like writing a verse on a 3×5 card and looking at it throughout the day. Set a timer on your phone and read a particular verse whenever it goes off. Getting into the true source of all wisdom can only lead to us getting wiser.

3. Manage their money well and are generous.

She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. ~Proverbs 31:20-21

The virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 wants to help those who are in need. Maybe she gives money – or it could be a warm meal or clean clothes.

At the same time, she makes sure the people in her own house have what they need. Proverbs 31:11 tells us that her husband trusts her and will have no lack of gain. She’s a prudent and faithful manager of the household and finances.

4. Are content with what they have.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. ~1 Timothy 6:6-7

Whether it’s from looking at social media or just comparing what we have with our friends or neighbors, we can easily get dissatisfied. Instead of comparing, cultivate a grateful heart. Actually count your blessings. Rest in the truth that what you have is enough and be satisfied.

5. Serve others.

Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. ~ Galatians 6:2

It’s so easy to get caught up in our own struggles and trials. That pity-party for one can last a long time if we let it! But a wise woman’s focus is not on herself. She makes a point of noticing others’ needs and looks for ways that she can help. Besides obeying the verse above, don’t we just feel so much better ourselves when we reach out and help someone else?

6. Use their time well.

 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. ~Psalm 90:12

Ephesians 5:16 calls it redeeming our time. We want to buy it back. Time is going by no matter what we do. It’s our responsibility to take control of it and use it wisely. There’s certainly a place for rest and relaxation. But God has given each of us a certain number of days, and we want to make sure we’re not just wasting time, but purposely spending it on things that matter.

7. Control their anger.

He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly. ~Proverbs 14:29

I used to think I wasn’t an angry person, but I feel like that’s changed as I’ve gotten older. It seems that it doesn’t take much for me to feel annoyed or frustrated.

If I want to be wise, I’ll have to pray for the Holy Spirit’s help to be slow to anger. Memorizing verses like the one above – and others, like Proverbs 16:32, which says that those who are slow to anger are better than the mighty – can help me when I’m tempted to be quick-tempered.

8. Ask God for wisdom.

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. ~James 1:5

This one makes sense, doesn’t it? A wise woman recognizes that she doesn’t have all the answers. So she prays and asks an all-wise God to give her the wisdom she needs. And He promises to do it!

9. Live their lives with a humble spirit.

When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom. ~Proverbs 11:2

To reference another Bible verse, a wise woman doesn’t think of herself more highly than she should. [Romans 12:3] She recognizes that all that she is and has are the result of the blessings of a gracious God.

10. Have eternal – not earthly – values.

 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. ~Colossians 3:1-2

Our busy day-to-day lives demand our attention. It’s easy to forget that there’s so much more to live for than what’s in the here and now. Spending time in God’s Word and prayer and investing in people are actual things we can do that will impact our lives today and forever.

So are there one or two of these that you can work on this week that will help you be a wise woman? I’d say for me, numbers 5 and 6 can definitely use some work. Let’s ask God to help us to be wise women, not for our own glory, but for His!

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7 Important Things to Remember as We Pray for Our Teenagers

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Hello and thanks for stopping by Girls to Grow today! It’s been a good week here so far and I hope you can say the same. We had a quiet Valentine’s Day dinner at home on Monday night. Yesterday I worked on various blog projects and I hope to get a little more done with those today.

I’ve mentioned numerous times here how I like to use Scripture-based prayers, especially when I’m praying for my family members. I’ve given specific examples in posts like 5 Prayers to Pray When Your Child Is Hurting and 10 Important Prayers to Pray for My College-Bound Daughter.

Praying for our children is always the number one thing we can do for them. But I think the teen years highlight just how true that is. Our teenagers are gaining independence. They’re changing, they’re making big decisions, and maybe even figuring out their faith for themselves for the first time. Here are seven key things to keep in mind as we pray for them.

Here's a list of seven helpful things to remember as we pray for the teenagers in our lives.

1. Your will may not be God’s will.

Have you asked God if the prayers you’re praying for your teenager are in line with His will? Sometimes we fill our prayers with our own plans and ideas for what should happen in our teen’s life. So let’s examine our requests and determine if they’re just our own desires or what God would truly have for them.

Here’s where praying Scripture-based prayers is a huge blessing. We know that if we’re praying God’s Word back to Him, we’re praying in His will. Let’s use Proverbs 3:5 as an example. If you pray, “Lord, please help my daughter to trust in you with all her heart and not lean on her own understanding,” you can be confident you’re praying the same thing that God would want for her.

2. God sees the big picture.

One of our daughters went through a trial recently. She certainly wouldn’t have signed up for it – nor would her dad and I have signed her up for it! However, I believe the lessons she’s been learning will prove invaluable as she matures in her faith.

All that you and I can see is the here and now. But our God knows the end from the beginning. He is doing a work in our teen’s life to prepare her for the future.

3. God is at always work.

We pray and we pray and we pray…but it seems that God’s not moving. Nothing is happening. Or at least that’s how we feel when there aren’t immediate and visible results.

But God is working. He’s aware of what’s going on with our teenagers. He has people or circumstances or situations lined up behind the scenes. God can orchestrate anything that He wants to happen in her life. In those times we don’t see God at work we get to grow our own faith by trusting Him.

4. Recognize that you – not your teenager – may be the one who needs to change.

I’m obviously not talking about going against BIble principles or your own convictions here. But maybe you’ve closed your mind against a particular idea in your teenager’s life when it’s something that’s just a preference. Be humble enough to ask God to reveal to you any area where you might need to change your mind.

5. It’s not one and done.

It might be nice to see an answer to prayer in our teen’s life and think, “Great, they’ve conquered that issue.” Rarely does it work that way. Our teenagers are still growing in their faith. They will sometimes struggle with the same things over and over again. And we do, too. When that particular struggle comes up again, give them grace and keep praying.

6. Our heart’s desire should be for God to receive glory.

It’s not about our reputation or our teenager’s reputation. It’s about God getting the glory. Yes, our prayers for our teenagers focus on them and their needs. But ultimately we want God to be glorified through answered prayer and the work that He accomplishes in their lives.

7. God answers prayer.

Keep praying. Don’t give up. As we studied in Psalm 145 recently, God is close by those who call on Him. Take the burdens of your heart to Him and have faith that He will answer in His time and in His way.

What a gift God has given us in being able to talk to Him about our teenagers! Always remember that He loves them even more than we do. As much as we want the best for their lives, He wants the same – and He knows what truly is best. Let’s cover our teens in prayer and then praise Him as we see Him answer those prayers!

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How a Wise Woman Treats Her Husband

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Welcome to the blog today! A couple of weeks ago, I heard someone say that it’s been a “wintry winter.” I would have to agree, based on my own weather experience here as well as the amount due on our natural gas bill!

Call it a Hallmark holiday if you want, but we all know Valentine’s Day is coming up on Monday. My husband and I don’t typically do cards or gifts for each other, but we’ll go out for a nice meal a night or two before. (We’ve found restaurants way too crowded on actual Valentine’s Day.) Then on February 14th, we’ll either make a nice meal at home or my husband will pick up a to-go order for us from a favorite restaurant.

Since there’s a lot of talk about love and relationships this month, I wanted to share posts this week and next related to marriage. We’ve been married for 30 years, but I still have a lot of room for growth when it comes to being a wise wife. Learning how to treat our husbands well is a journey and we grow in wisdom and understanding along the way.

I’m on the empty nest side of things, but you may be a newlywed, in the throes of parenting young kids or enjoying your grandchildren. Regardless, I think these five things can be a reminder to all of us of how we can be wise wives who treat their husbands well.

We're looking at five things a wise wife can do to treat her husband well.

1. She is worthy of his trust.

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. ~Proverbs 31:11

A wise wife doesn’t buy things at the store then hide the bags under the bed so he won’t see them. She’s honest and upfront about where she goes and what she does. She follows through on what she says she will do.

I like this quote from Peter Lerangis. “Trust is a fragile thing. Easy to break, easy to lose and one of the hardest things to ever get back.” Let’s earn our husband’s trust by being women of character and then treasure that trust so we won’t do anything to lose it.

2. She chooses not to argue with him.

 It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house. ~Proverbs 25:23

It’s not that a wise wife couldn’t argue with her husband. There are certainly times when she might be right and could win the argument. But is that really a “win?”

Instead, she chooses not to argue. Are there times to speak up and explain your side of things? Of course! But not every issue has to be fought through or argued about.

3. She yields to his decisions when they disagree…with a sweet attitude.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. ~Ephesians 5:22

You didn’t think we’d get through this post without the “s” word, did you? We know that being wise means obeying God’s Word. Therefore, as wives, when we disagree with our husbands and there’s no acceptable compromise, we need to accept his decision.

Admittedly, this is much easier if we sense that our husband is truly seeking to follow God. But ultimately that’s not our call. He will answer to God for his decision. And if we submit but then don’t speak to him for three days, we might call that following the letter of the law but not the spirit of it. This isn’t easy! It may take some extra time in prayer sincerely asking the Holy Spirit to help us in this area.

4. She prays for him.

For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; ~Colossians 1:9

Pray specifically. As much as you can, know what’s going on in your husband’s work life and in his relationships. If you want some ideas on praying for him, you can read 5 Ways to Pray for Your Husband.

5. She speaks words of life and encouragement to him.

 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. ~Ephesians 4:29

I wish all the words I speak to my husband were classified as “ministering grace to him.” Unfortunately, that’s not always true. It’s easy to nag him or to let words of accusation or bitterness fly. A wise wife seeks God’s help to control her tongue and uses spoken and written words to bless her husband.

Finally, I’ll give a bonus suggestion that I don’t have a Bible verse for, but has been helpful to me.

She doesn’t burden her husband with unspoken expectations.

There’s a quote from Barry Schwartz that says, “The secret to happiness is low expectations.” Now I think there are a lot deeper things that we could label as the secret to happiness, but there’s some truth in his statement. If you want Valentine’s Day – or any other day! – to look a certain way, tell your husband. Don’t expect him to read your mind and then be disappointed when he doesn’t.

Please share in the comments if you have other ideas of ways we can be wise wives. I trust that God will help each one of us honor Him as we treat our husbands well!

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6 Truths About God to Encourage You Today: A Study of Psalm 145, Part 3

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Here we are in February already! I saw lots of people posting about how it felt like January was 627 days long – and I’ve felt that way in the past. This year it seemed to go by quickly, but I think that’s because our girls didn’t head back to college until the 23rd. Then my husband and I got to have a long weekend away in Myrtle Beach, which was a nice way to end the month.

Today we’re wrapping up our Bible study in Psalm 145. In part one, we discussed praising God enthusiastically. Part two outlined eight outstanding characteristics of God. This week we’re covering verses 15-21 and discovering six truths about God that can encourage our hearts.

We're looking at the last part of Psalm 145 and discovering six things about God that can encourage us today.

The eyes of all wait upon thee; and thou givest them their meat in due season. ~Verse 15

1. God provides what we need in His time.

This verse talks about waiting on God (which is, for me, a hard lesson that I’m continuing to learn). It says that He gives what they need “in due season.” God always meets our needs in the appropriate timeframe. He’s never early, never late, and His schedule may not match up with our timeframe. But He is God and we can trust that He knows what’s best for us.

Can you look back on a specific time in your life and see how God’s timing was perfect? I have a few of those instances and remembering them gives me faith when I find myself in another waiting season.

Thou openest thine hand, and satisfiest the desire of every living thing. ~Verse 16

2. God has the power to meet our every need.

He can simply open His hand and fulfill the longing of every creature. This goes beyond physical needs to our emotional and spiritual desires for love, peace, joy, and comfort. All of these are available through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

The Lord is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works. ~Verse 17

3. Whatever God does is always right and holy.

I love the word all in this verse! Our God is righteous in every single thing He does, in every way He moves in our lives. He can’t be anything else.

The Lord is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth. ~Verse 18

4. God is always close by when we call on Him.

He hears the cry of our hearts. Whether in loneliness or grief, fear or pain, we can know that He is near at hand when we call on Him. This is a good reminder to me to call on God when hard times come as a first step and not as a last resort.

He will fulfill the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them. ~Verse 19

5. God fulfills our desires.

Does this mean we make a wish list and get everything we want? That may sound like fun but surely it’s not what’s best for us. If we fear God, we want more than anything for His will to be done and for Him to be glorified. The more we grow in Christ, the more our desires will line up with His desires and we will rejoice as we see Him fulfill them.

We know that our God blesses us in so many ways. Just as we want to see our children enjoy things that we give them, so our Heavenly Father surely wants to see us enjoy the good things He provides. He gives many gifts that bring us pleasure and let’s remember to thank Him for them.

Have you ever asked God for something that you were later glad you didn’t get?

The Lord preserveth all them that love him: but all the wicked will he destroy. ~Verse 20

6. God keeps us.

This made me think of the strawberry preserves I put on my biscuit! I’ve never made preserves, but I do know you have to cook the fruit before you can it. Sometimes we may have to go through the heat of trials, but God protects and if we allow Him to work, we are better on the other side of them.

Verse 21 is a fitting summary of this whole study in Psalm 145.

My mouth shall speak the praise of the Lord: and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever.

This psalm teaches us so much about our amazing God and reminds us that He is truly worthy of our praise. May we practice praising Him every day as we prepare to spend eternity worshipping Him!

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