Girls To Grow

Nurturing moms in their walk with God

What Happens When We Say No to God

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Hello, friends! Have you noticed the days getting shorter where you are? We’re up fairly early on weekday mornings and the sun is sleeping in later these days 🙂 At least that means my morning walks aren’t quite as hot as they have been!

As we get to today’s post, I want to give credit where credit is due. These verses stood out to me when my husband taught a Sunday School lesson from this passage a few weeks ago. I was very interested to see God’s response when the Israelites rejected the plan that He had for them.

Let's look at how God responded to the Israelites saying "no" to him in Isaiah 30 and apply that to our own lives.

For thus saith the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not.

But ye said, No; for we will flee upon horses; therefore shall ye flee: and, We will ride upon the swift; therefore shall they that pursue you be swift.

And therefore will the Lord wait, that he may be gracious unto you, and therefore will he be exalted, that he may have mercy upon you: for the Lord is a God of judgment: blessed are all they that wait for him.

For the people shall dwell in Zion at Jerusalem: thou shalt weep no more: he will be very gracious unto thee at the voice of thy cry; when he shall hear it, he will answer thee. ~Isaiah 30:15-16, 18-19

Basically, in verse 15, God told the Israelites how they could get victory as they battled the Assyrians. It doesn’t appear that there was any cause for them to be confused or unclear. God told them his plan.

But they would not. They said “no” to God and came up with their own plan.

Let’s face it. That didn’t go well. It says they’ll try to run away, to be fast, but their pursuers will also be fast.

It’s easy to judge them for their foolishness. But let’s take a look at our own lives. How often do we say “no” to what God tells us?

Now maybe we aren’t so bold as to actually say it out loud. But that’s what we say when we ignore a command we read in His Word. Or when a pastor preaches from the Bible and our hearts are convicted, but we refuse to deal with the issue. There could be a sin we know we need to give up but we hang on to it.

What would it be like to serve a God who wasn’t longsuffering and merciful? We’d all be in a really bad place.

Because even after the Israelites tell God “no” and do their own thing, the Bible says that the Lord will wait so that he can be gracious to them. It’s not immediate judgment and fire and brimstone destruction, though that’s probably how we as humans would handle the situation! No. It says that He will be gracious and have mercy and hear their cry.

Were there still consequences to their actions? 100 percent. Verse 20 of this chapter says that they will have “the bread of adversity and the water of affliction.” But God will continue to be gracious and merciful. And just like he did with the Israelites, he is ready to act on behalf of you and me if we turn to him and ask.

I hope we have hearts that quickly say yes to God and willingly follow his commands. But when our flesh wins and we make the wrong choice, remember that God is waiting. His grace and mercy are available as we come before him and seek his face.

Let’s thank God today for his patience and longsuffering, his grace and his mercy. How blessed we are that he waits to offer them to us even when we’ve strayed from his plan!

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5 Important Things to Pray for Your Adult Child’s Relationships

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As our young adult children leave our homes – whether off to college or moving out to live on their own – they typically begin new relationships. They interact with co-workers and friends and potentially step into dating relationships. As parents, this is an area in their lives that we want to cover in prayer.

Here are 5 important things you and I can pray for regarding our adult children’s relationships. (Since my children are girls, I’m using female pronouns here, but these apply equally to young men!)

Check out this list of 5 important things that you as a parent can pray over your adult child's relationships.

We can pray…

…that the relationship would honor God.

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. ~1 Corinthians 10:31

All that we do should bring glory to God. If our child is a Christian, our hope is that they are desiring long-term relationships with fellow believers. Let’s pray that the conversations they have, the places they go, and the activities they participate in will be honoring to God

Dear God, please help each relationship that my child is in to bring honor and glory to you. May she surround herself with others who are walking with God. Use these relationships to draw her into closer fellowship with you.

…that the relationship would make her a better person.

We want our children to continually grow and develop. There’s so much room for this in the young adult stage of life! In every area – spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically – we want to see them thrive.

Dear God, please bring people into my child’s life who will cause her to grow and flourish. May they encourage and bless her, even as they graciously challenge her to move forward and mature. And Lord, help her to be that same influence in their lives.

…that they would have fun together.

Part of good friendships – and good romantic relationships – is pursuing common interests. It’s fun to share hobbies and also to learn new things with friends! A similar sense of humor also adds to memorable times together.

Dear God, help my child to have friends she enjoys being around. Let them have fun together and find good things in life to experience and celebrate. May they share the ups and downs of life, finding joy in their journey.

…that God would give her wisdom in her relationships.

 And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment; That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ. ~Philippians 1:9-10

Our children need wisdom and discernment as they develop relationships. We want them to have healthy, authentic connections with friends and people that they date.

Dear God, please give my child wisdom and discernment as she steps into new relationships. Reveal what she needs to see about people and give her either a pause or peace in her spirit. May she be kind to everyone, but build deep friendships with those who are loyal and trustworthy.

…that there would be clear and honest communication.

But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ…Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. ~Ephesians 4:15, 29

Communication is a huge part of any relationship. It’s helpful when we’re clear and upfront with what we say. Real relationships are built on honesty and trust.

Dear God, help my child to be able to communicate clearly and honestly in her relationships. May her words be kind and thoughtful, never misleading. Let her words and her actions match up, always seeking to honor God and the person with whom she’s building a relationship.

Just as we prayed for our younger children, let’s continue to go to God’s throne, asking for his blessing and guidance for our adult children as they navigate their relationships.

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How to Move Forward When We Don’t Know What to Pray

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Are you ready for the unofficial start of fall? With Labor Day weekend just ahead of us, I’m starting to feel like fall is here. Which is fine, as long as I don’t expect the weather to cooperate! 🙂

Has there been a time in your life when you weren’t sure how to pray about a situation? Maybe it involved a spouse or a child, a financial decision, a job change, or a move to another state. Perhaps you just couldn’t get clear direction. And we’ve likely all had times when we were just so overwhelmed with life that we couldn’t even think clearly enough to know how or what to pray.

When we’re not sure how we should pray or what to ask for, here’s a list of five things we can do.

Here are five steps we can use to help us move forward when we don't know what we should ask God for or how we should pray about a situation.

1. Believe that the Holy Spirit will help us.

“Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.” ~Romans 8:26

The Holy Spirit knows the mind of God. He intervenes for us and speaks to God on our behalf. The Spirit strengthens us when our faith is weak. He can take the deep, inexpressible cries of our hearts and bring them before God. When we’re perplexed about how to pray, He already knows what’s best for us.

2. Find Bible examples of how others prayed in difficult situations.

We know that David often cried out to God in the Psalms. In chapter 59, verse 1 as he deals with enemies, he writes “Deliver me from mine enemies, O my God: defend me from them that rise up against me.“

There’s Hannah’s prayer for a son when she was barren in 1 Samuel 1:11. “And she vowed a vow, and said, O Lord of hosts, if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid, and remember me, and not forget thine handmaid, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a man child, then I will give him unto the Lord all the days of his life…”

And our ultimate example is Jesus in the garden before His crucifixion. In Matthew 26:39, we read, “And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.“

3. Pray to God directly from His Word.

Find a verse that pertains to what you’re facing or one that brings you comfort and just pray it to God. I often take Proverbs 3:5,6 to pray for myself or someone in my family.

“Lord, help me to trust you with all my heart and not rely on my own wisdom or understanding. May I acknowledge You in every area of my life so I can know that you will direct my path.“

4. Write out what you’re struggling with.

I realize that this is easy for me because writing is one of the best ways I have to process my thoughts. Even if that’s not true for you, try to at least write out a sentence or two that summarizes how you’re feeling. Sometimes just seeing it written down on paper can help you gain a better perspective. This practice might guide you in how to pray.

5. Remember that God knows our hearts and our minds even when we can’t fully express what we need or want.

We’re likely all familiar with Psalm 139. “O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.” [Verses 1-4]

What a comfort it is to know that God knows us so deeply and individually! He knows us better than we know ourselves and is so faithful to meet our every need. When we don’t know how we should pray or what we should ask for, He is still able to give us exactly what we need.

I remember a time a few years ago when I was confused and heartbroken over a particular situation. Honestly, I didn’t feel like praying. I didn’t have the words to tell God how I was feeling. Yet as always, He was faithful. He brought me through those days and I learned more about Him and about myself.

In the days ahead when we struggle to know how to pray, may we remember to rely on the Holy Spirit’s help, look to God’s Word, and rest in the fact that God knows our hearts and will continue to keep us in His care.

[I updated and republished this post from June 2021 because I find I need it again in August 2023.]

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5 Helpful Truths About the Empty Nest

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It’s that time of year. Moms are marking things off of a long checklist. Dads are cramming vehicles full of suitcases and storage bags and ready-to-assemble furniture. College move-in is happening. (And if it’s happening in the South, there’s also lots of perspiring taking place!)

Some of you may be sending your oldest child off for the first time. And for others, the youngest may be moving out, leaving you at the beginning of your empty nest years. While I’m not a super-seasoned empty nester, I have been at it for a couple of years now. Here are five truths that I’ve learned so far.

Moving that last child out of your home? Here are five truths to know as you enter the empty nest.

1. You forget a lot of the hard stuff that happened during the at-home parenting years.

When you think back, it’s usually the good times that bubble to the surface. Recalling those toddler tantrums and childhood meltdowns isn’t as maddening as it once was. Even the escapades of the recent teen years start to fade as you move into this new season of long-distance parenting.

2. You adjust to the new normal…and even grow to like it.

College drop-off is just the beginning. Most likely, the rest of your life will be full of hellos and goodbyes with your children. I don’t know if that part gets any easier.

For me, the first couple of weeks with both of our girls gone were hard. The upstairs bedrooms were empty. I was only setting two places at the table for meals. And there were no more work or sports uniforms in my laundry pile

But as the weeks went by, there were new revelations. The only timetables my husband and I had to work around were our own. No one’s ball games or work schedules had to be considered. We didn’t have to consult anyone but ourselves about what restaurant we should eat at after church on Sundays.

Getting into our own routines is something we’ve enjoyed. We can go places and do things when we want to do them. This leads me to the next truth.

3. You get to decide what your empty nest looks like.

With the kids gone, you likely have extra time in your week. You can choose to travel more or start a new hobby. Maybe adult friendships haven’t been a priority while you’ve been raising teens. But now you can meet friends for dinner or have a group over to your house.

Your empty nest doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. But make some thoughtful decisions about how you want these days to look and you can enjoy this new stage of life.

4. You’ll always have shared memories with your kids.

From the trips you took to your family traditions, ball games you attended to the funny stories that are legendary in your family, nothing can change the memories you made with your children during their growing-up years. You’ll always have those things to remember and reminisce about with your kids.

And if you’re not at the empty nest yet, use these days to make those memories now. It doesn’t have to be big or expensive. Just spend time together learning something new or doing what they enjoy.

5. Getting to step into your adult child’s world is so much fun.

Once your children are gone, you get to go visit them! Whether in college or at their first home or apartment, you can observe the adult that they’re becoming. You can get acquainted with their environment and meet their friends. And, as will be my experience this weekend when I visit our older daughter, they may offer to make dinner for you!

It’s fun to see how our children are developing and growing in their independence once they’ve left our home. You’ll always be their parent, but you can also begin to become their friend.

Having our children leave the nest can be hard. But it’s so rewarding to see them stepping out on their own, becoming the young adults we hoped and prayed they would become all along.

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How to Get Peace About a Decision

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When one of our daughters was young, she had a hard time making decisions.

I remember my mom taking her to the store and telling her she could choose one thing for my mom to buy her. The whole process took a long time, but she’d finally narrow it down to two options.

She’d put one in each hand and put her hands behind her back. Then she’d ask someone to choose a hand. Supposedly, that would be the item to buy.

However, sometimes the outcome wasn’t what she wanted, and we’d have to repeat the exercise before she made her final choice!

As adults, we face a lot bigger decisions than what toy to buy. There are potential moves, job changes, relationship issues, family matters, church choices, and many more.

Sometimes it’s hard to get clear direction about a decision or to have peace regarding which alternative to choose. So what does it mean to have peace? What I’m talking about in this case is a settledness about moving forward or going in a certain direction. It’s the ability to set aside worry and fear and faithfully step into the future.

Here are five things we can do as we seek to have peace about a decision we need to make.

5 key steps that can help you find peace as you make decisions in your life.

1. Pray about your decision.

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:6-7

You can’t get much clearer instruction than this verse! Our initial response to decision-making is often worry. What should I do? What if I make the wrong choice? How will my decision affect my family or my future?

Release the anxiety by taking it to God in prayer. It’s probably not a one-and-done, but a daily, ongoing pursuit of his guidance. Thank him that he is sovereign, that he knows all things, and that he has the wisdom you need for this decision.

Ask him to give you clear direction, to open or close doors, and to give you that peace that is beyond understanding.

2. Look in the Bible for principles that apply to your decision.

Teach me good judgment and knowledge: for I have believed thy commandments. ~Psalm 119:66

The entrance of thy words giveth light; it giveth understanding unto the simple. ~Psalm 119:130

Ask God to lead you to Scripture passages that can teach you and encourage you in your specific situation. Use a good concordance to find verses that deal with trusting God. Read stories about how he directed people in the Bible.

Once you’ve found applicable Bible principles, meditate on those verses. Use them in your prayers to God.

3. Seek Godly advice from wise counselors.

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise. ~Proverbs 12:15

Set up a time to meet with your pastor or another Godly person(s) whose judgment you trust. Additionally, read books by wise Christian authors related to discerning God’s leading or following his will. You could also listen to sermons by other trusted pastors who’ve preached on topics related to this.

4. Be willing to wait for peace if the decision is not time-sensitive.

Shew me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths. Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day. ~Psalm 25:4-5

Most decisions have some kind of time frame on them, but as much as possible, don’t rush to a decision. Wait until you have peace. The Bible has many verses that talk about waiting on the Lord.

Waiting, however, doesn’t mean inactivity! Continue to pray, meditate, and be alert to however God may be working in your life.

However, if the time comes when you have to make a decision, move on to number five.

5. Make the best decision you can based on the information you have and trust the Lord to guide you from there.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Acknowledge God in your decision-making. Let your heart’s desire be to honor Him. Then make your decision and trust that God will direct you.

Whether through circumstances or certain people he places in your life, he has the ability to work it all out. If we’re seeking to follow God, we’re not going to derail his plan for us. He’s greater than any bad decisions we may make.

And a final note for married people. Do all that you can to come to an agreement on big decisions. Ask God to unite your hearts and give you a shared vision for what needs to be done.

Whatever decision lies ahead of you in the coming months, I trust that you’ll find God’s direction and feel His peace.

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An Important Way to Encourage Another Mom

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While I didn’t plan it this way, encouragement seems to be my theme this month. Last week I wrote about how we can encourage ourselves. Today let’s talk about encouraging someone else, specifically other moms.

It's a sentence you can say to another mom (or dad!) that's sure to encourage her in her parenting.

Recently I got to meet and interact with a young adult woman, a recent college graduate. She’s smart, kind, polite, and thoughtful.

Several days later, I had a short conversation with her mom. We spoke about her daughter, whom I complimented, and then I said, “Mom, you did a great job.”

Of all the things we’ll do in life, parenting is one of the hardest. As moms, we really want to get it right. But often, it feels like we aren’t.

It’s so easy to see our failures. We lost our temper or were inconsistent in our discipline. We failed to connect with our child when we should have or we forgot to do something that was important to her.

To be affirmed in one of the most significant things we’ll ever do – raising our children – is a really good feeling. And if my experience is normal, it doesn’t happen regularly.

Now occasionally your kids may tell you that you’re a great mom…unless they’re teenagers 🙂 But otherwise, we don’t often get told that we’re doing a good job.

Let me be clear. Any success that we have in any area of life – and maybe especially in parenting – is because of God’s grace. God steps in and loves and corrects and directs our children either alongside of or in spite of us.

But we have the opportunity to build each other up. And I think this is an especially wonderful ministry for older moms, like me, to have to younger ones. And we can include dads in this, too!

So when you see another mom being patient with her toddler or training her child to obey her, say, “Mom, you’re doing a great job.” Or when she comes and asks you to pray with her for her struggling teenager, say, “Mom, you’re doing a great job.“

And when you see that mom who’s where we’ve all been – dealing with the 2-year-old throwing a tantrum because she doesn’t want to leave the playground – say this to her. “Mom, you’re doing a great job.“

Lord willing, I’ll be a grandmother one day. And I can already tell you that there will be some way in which our daughters and their husbands parent differently than I would.

But I want my daughters and sons-in-law to always know that I’m in the background supporting them. I don’t want to judge their parenting, but to encourage them. I want to say often, “You’re doing a great job.“

So in honor of the back-to-school season many of us are in, let’s have a little homework. This week let’s each of us find another mom or dad and tell them you’re doing a great job.

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What I Learned About Myself on My Best Friend’s Birthday

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I’m not sure what happened to July, but I know that it’s gone! It was a month full of time with family and friends, and now I’m looking forward to what August will bring.

It can be natural for us to celebrate others...but it's also okay to celebrate ourselves.

A few days ago, my high school best friend had a birthday. We haven’t seen each other in years, but keep in touch occasionally.

I texted her happy birthday wishes. She replied to thank me and then she shared about a new project she’s working on.

Without thinking, I texted back words of encouragement, telling her how excited I was for her in this new ministry. I told her that I hoped God would use her greatly as she pursues this calling.

I’m genuinely excited for her. It was a natural response to affirm her in her work. It was exactly what I should have done.

But after I hit send on that message, I realized something. Do I ever do that for myself? Am I encouraging myself in the work or the ministry that God has given me? Honestly, no.

How about you? Do you take time to notice and be grateful for what you’re able to do for the Lord, no matter how small?

Now I don’t mean that we do it in a prideful way. But sometimes I think we discount our own gifts or talents as not being important or worthy of being noticed. And looking to build up others doesn’t mean we have to downplay our own gifts or talents.

If we’re doing what God has called us to do, let’s celebrate that. We can be humble yet grateful for what God is doing in our own lives. No credit goes to us but neither do we have to look at what we’re doing as “less than” the way someone else is living out their calling.

Others may have a bigger following or a larger platform or opportunities that we only dream of. And it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison. But let’s don’t discount being faithful. Remember this verse? Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful. [1 Corinthians 4:2]

Embrace your place in God’s kingdom. You may feel that your contribution is small and insignificant. But nothing that is done for our Lord is meaningless.

Are you familiar with the song “Little Is Much When God Is in It”?

In the harvest field now ripened
There’s a work for all to do;
Hark! the voice of God is calling
To the harvest calling you.

Does the place you’re called to labor
Seem too small and little known?
It is great if God is in it,
And He’ll not forget His own.

Little is much when God is in it,
Labor not for wealth or fame;
There’s a crown, and you can win it,
If you go in Jesus’ name.

Today let’s encourage ourselves to do whatever God puts in front of us – be it big or small in the eyes of others. Realize that He sees our efforts and is pleased as we honor Him through them.

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How to Increase Our Praise: 5 Attributes of God to Use in Our Worship

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At the Christian college I attended, we were required to attend chapel four days a week. At 10:05 am, the bell would ring. The beginning of chapel was marked by all of the students standing and singing the Doxology.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow;
Praise him all creatures here below;
Praise him above, ye heav’nly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

That song will forever be associated with that time in my life…and occasionally accompanied by a tinge of panic. There were a few times that the audience stood to sing while I rushed to my seat because I was tardy!

We can use all of God's attributes as we come to Him in praise, but here are five for us to focus on this week.

I’ve written here on the blog about praise several times. But recently I was convicted about spending more time praising God.

I feel like I do pretty well with giving thanks. I write in my gratitude journal almost daily. And while thanksgiving is closely associated with praise, I want to focus more on praising God for who He is, not just what He does.

Praise is you and I recognizing God’s glory and expressing adoration to Him.

Psalm 150:6 gives us this command. “Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord.“

What’s a good way to praise God? I like how Charles Spurgeon put it. “We simply say what He is! ‘You are this and You are that.’”

Today let’s look at five attributes of God that we can use to praise Him.

1. God is omnipotent.

Then Job answered the Lord, and said, I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee. ~Job 42:1-2

What good is a God who has no power? We serve a God who is all-powerful and can do anything He determines to do. The Bible tells us on several occasions that nothing is too hard for God.

2. God is faithful.

This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.  It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. ~Lamentations 3:21-23

I’ll ask the same question again. What good is a God that we can’t trust? God’s Word is full of promises, and we can count on every one being kept, because our God is faithful.

3. God is sovereign.

Remember the former things of old: for I am God, and there is none else; I am God, and there is none like me, Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure: ~Isaiah 46:9-10

What a relief that we don’t have to work it all out on our own! God knows all things and is always working for His glory and our good. We don’t always see it or understand it, but our God is infinitely wise and rules over all.

4. God is gracious.

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. ~Ephesians 2:8-9

We didn’t deserve salvation. We don’t deserve any of the good gifts God so freely gives. It’s because of His grace – His unmerited favor – at work in our lives that we receive these things from Him.

5. God is good.

And the Lord passed by before him, and proclaimed, The Lord, The Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, ~Exodus 34:6

If we made a top-five list of our favorite attributes of God, this one definitely makes my list! He is always, only good. Our life circumstances don’t change that. Goodness is simply a part of who He is. 

Let’s take one of these attributes and write out a praise to God. We’ll choose His faithfulness.

Dear God, I praise you for your great faithfulness. You keep every promise that you’ve ever made. I can trust you to always keep your Word. And God, even when I’m not faithful to you, You are still a constant presence in my life. You’ve promised to never leave me or forsake me. I praise you for the rest and peace I can have in my heart because you are a faithful God.

There are so many attributes of God that we can praise Him for! He is holy, omniscient (knows all), loving, merciful, long-suffering, immutable (unchanging), and so much more!

I’ll close with another Charles Spurgeon quote for us to consider.

“Praise is the rehearsal for our eternal song.”

If you’d like to add an attribute of God that we can use as we praise Him, please comment below!

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5 Key Ingredients You’ll Need to Help Your Child Grow

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Since we moved into our current home about a year and a half ago, I’ve had great success with our indoor plants. I’ve learned that I’m a natural over-waterer 🙂 so I purposely limit myself to watering our plants about once a week.

However, the plants on our front porch are another story. At this point, I’m not even sure how many different plants I’ve had out there that have died. That area gets direct sun for several hours in the afternoon, so a heat-hardy plant is a must. I currently have two Phlox of some sort that are doing very well, so we’ll see if they make it through the summer!

While I’m obviously not a plant expert, I do know that plants need certain things like sunlight and water to grow. And that’s how it is with our children.  As moms, we are constantly pruning and fertilizing, helping our children remove negative qualities while adding positive ones that will allow them to grow strong and healthy.

So what does it take to grow a child?  No matter what season of parenting we’re in, there are certain ingredients to consider.  Here are five of them.

Check out these five things that we as parents can provide to our children to help them grow up well.

1.  Patience.  

Just as in gardening, our efforts aren’t going to pay off right away.  We wait maybe weeks or months for our plants to bloom. And it could be weeks, months, or years before we see the results of consistent prayer, love, training, and discipline that we’ve invested. 

But just as we don’t give up on our plants when we don’t see growth right away, so let’s not give up on our kids. Keep on following the principles that God has given us in His Word and trust that He is at work, whether we see immediate progress or not.

2.  Self-sacrifice. 

Especially in the early years of motherhood, we often put aside our wishes and desires in order to do things for our children. 

As an example, for years one of our routines was to read aloud together at bedtime. I remember nights when I would rather sit on the couch and read a book by myself than head to our daughters’ room to read to them.  However, I know that they treasured that time and it was a way of building our relationship.

3.  Respect. 

A child grows well when we respect him for who he is.  Every child has a unique personality.  Techniques that work with one child may have no effect on another. We can respect our children enough to learn how they are wired so that we can relate to them effectively.

4. Security.

Our children long to feel safe and taken care of. Our homes can be places where they feel accepted and loved unconditionally.

Children feel secure when we have consistent boundaries and expectations. We also can listen to them as they share their thoughts and feelings without shutting them down.

And what better way to create a secure environment than by teaching them God’s Word and praying aloud with them! Learning to know and love their Heavenly Father will lay a foundation for a lifetime of peace and security.

5. Love.

All four of the ingredients above are easier to incorporate when we give our kids the most basic ingredient of all – love! Through our words and our actions, we can let them know that we love them.

You may have heard the saying, “Love is spelled T-I-M-E.” Spending time with our children – letting them see that we like being with them! – is one of the best ways to show our love.

Say phrases like, “I love you” and “I’m proud of you” often. Give lots of smiles and hugs throughout the day.

As moms, we want to see our children mature into whole, healthy adults. Mixing together these ingredients is a good start to that wonderful, flourishing result!

What other traits do you think are important in helping to grow our children?

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5 Fun Finds for June 2023

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We’re back for another monthly edition of 5 Fun Finds!! Today’s picks are all related to summer fun.

What I'm loving in June 2023

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1. SkinnyPop Original Popcorn. Let’s start with an easy summer snack! I think everyone in our family likes this one, and it’s a light choice for a hot day.

2. Pickleball Set with 4 Paddles, 4 Balls, and Carry Bag. In my weekly emails I’ve mentioned that my husband and I started playing pickleball this month. We have courts not too far away from us and we’re enjoying learning the game. This is the pickleball set I ordered from Amazon and it’s been just what we need.

3. Neutrogena Ultra-Sheer Dry Touch Sunscreen. I’m fair-skinned, so sunscreen is a must for me if I’m going to be outside in the summer. While I’ll occasionally use a lower SPF for my body, I always use this sunscreen on my face.

4. Adventure Women’s T-Shirt Mountain Hiking. I bought this comfortable t-shirt in pink to wear at some of our outside events this summer. It’s light and soft, fits true to size, and comes in other cute colors.

5. The Words We Lost by Nicole Deese. I mailed this book to our younger daughter who wanted something new to read in the evenings when she’s done with her work at camp. I read it not long ago and thought she’d enjoy it since she tends to like modern fiction.

Bonus: Best Fried Green Tomatoes from Guy’s Grocery Games. I couldn’t leave without sharing at least one summer recipe! We’re big fans of fried green tomatoes and I love that Stacey from Southern Bite includes directions for making these in the air fryer!

Let me know if you’ve discovered a fun find lately!