Girls To Grow

Nurturing moms in their walk with God

10 Important Things to Know Before Your Daughter Gets Married

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I love weddings! I’m in the stage of life where our friends’ children are getting married so bridal showers and weddings are happening more frequently.

And of course, our older daughter got married last year! Her wedding day is one of my most treasured memories.

We had a year between the engagement and wedding to plan and prepare for her special day. Part of it was done long distance because she was in college out-of-state for about eight months of that time.

Pulling it all together went fairly smoothly because both my daughter and I are planners. However, there were plenty of nights – especially as the date got closer – when I’d lie in bed unable to sleep. My mind would be whirling with all kinds of wedding-related thoughts!

So the first important thing to know, before we even start our list, is to take all of your wedding-related thoughts, concerns, and cares to God in prayer! Ask for his wisdom and guidance as you go through the process. And of course, pray for His blessing on your daughter and her fiance!

And now let’s look at 10 important things to know before your daughter gets married.

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Planning a wedding with your daughter? Here are 10 important things to know before your daughter gets married.

1. There’s a strong chance that you’ll disagree with your daughter about something related to the wedding.

Several of my friends are in this same season of life with one or more daughters getting married. I have yet to talk to one where the mom and daughter agreed on every single detail of the wedding.

This doesn’t have to mean that there will be a big argument! But it will likely involve sitting down and talking through the options and coming up with a compromise.

2. It’s your daughter’s and her fiance’s wedding…but if you’re paying, you get to have a voice in some of the decisions.

The best approach is to come together as you start wedding planning and get a general idea of everyone’s expectations. That way there aren’t big surprises later on in the process.

3. Make memories with your daughter during the months of wedding planning.

Add a coffee stop to the wedding errands you’re doing together and just sit and talk. Have breakfast after that early morning visit to the florist.

If she’s still living at home, you’re both facing a big transition as she moves out soon. Enjoy the times you have together just coming and going throughout the day.

4. Recognize what you’re good at and find help for the rest.

As I mentioned, my daughter and I are planners, so I didn’t need help with the timeline or scheduling or reserving the items or locations we needed. Decorating was my downfall! I’m not naturally creative and ideas for making a church or reception space look nice are beyond my talents.

We were able to pay someone to take care of that, but you don’t necessarily have to. We all likely have friends or family members who enjoy that type of activity and are willing to help.

5. Choose the two or three things that really matter to you and your daughter and spend the biggest part of the budget on those.

So having a budget for the wedding isn’t an item on this list, but I’m sure it should be! Allocate the money available into categories, and put the largest chunks toward those things that are most important to your daughter and her fiance.

It could be the photographer, the videographer, the musicians, the dress, the wedding cake, etc. Get the best you can afford in those few areas and be okay with spending less on the others.

6. Lists are your friend.

We bought my daughter The Knot Ultimate Wedding Planner and Organizer and she used that regularly. I made lists of things to buy and things to do. I broke up those lists into months until the week leading up to the wedding. Then I had a list for every day that week!

Another helpful list was of meals needed for the wedding week. Even though we were in wedding mode, people still needed to eat. The list helped me know what to shop for and serve.

7. Do as much ahead of time as possible.

This probably goes without saying, but the more you can do ahead of time the better. We were able to have table centerpieces and other decorations put together beforehand. Some things have to wait until you can access the wedding space. But if it’s all already organized, set up goes more quickly and smoothly.

Thankfully we were able to get most everything done the day before the wedding and were able to enjoy the actual day and not feel stressed.

8. If guests are staying at your house, put a house cleaner in the budget for before and/or after the wedding.

A friend recommended this to me, and it was wonderful! I chose to have someone come the day before some of the wedding party started arriving so I was able to focus on other things.

I cleaned the house myself after everyone left post-wedding because I knew I’d need the distraction and to keep myself occupied.

9. Plan a vacation or a bit of downtime for shortly after the wedding.

My husband and I were able to take a trip together a couple of weeks after the wedding. I was so thankful because it gave me something to look forward to after the wedding was over.

Maybe you can’t do a trip, but try taking a day off – or even set aside a Saturday where you can do something fun and relaxing in your local area. Weddings take a lot out of you, so it’s nice to set aside time for rejuvenation!

10. Your relationship with your daughter after the wedding can be something new and beautiful.

I’ve loved every time my daughter’s called to ask about a recipe or where to find an ingredient in the grocery store! This could be different if your daughter’s already lived alone, but either way, you get to create a new relationship now that she’s a married woman.

Continue to invest time in her and in her new husband. There are plenty of new memories ahead for all of you!

If you’ve gone through this process with your daughter, what would you add to this list of things to know before your daughter gets married?

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3 Revealing Things That Keep Us from God’s Word

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Have you ever had an obstacle in your way that was keeping you from something very important?

Not long ago, my husband and our younger daughter were on a flight coming into Atlanta that had been delayed. By the time they landed, their next flight coming home was already boarding.

They became two of those people you see literally running through the airport trying to make it on the plane. (Our daughter said she’d always wanted to have that experience, but that once is enough!)

There were plenty of distractions and obstacles in their way. But their focus was on getting to that plane that would bring them home. And thankfully, they made it.

One of the key factors in our spiritual growth is spending time in God’s Word. Reading and studying our Bible teaches us about what God is like and how we can live our lives to please Him.

And while we might agree with the importance of being in God’s Word, it can be very easy to let other obstacles or distractions take the time or priority we want to give it.

Mark 4 gives us the parable of the sower and the seed.  In verses 18 and 19, we read the meaning of what happens to the seed that fell among the thorns. 

“And these are they which are sown among thorns; such as hear the word, And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful.”

Does this describe what happens to me?  I’m afraid that it feels that way sometimes.  When the Word of God isn’t producing fruit in our lives, it’s often because we’re allowing it to be choked out.

Let’s break the verse down to see three revealing things that “choke” God’s Word out of our lives.

The parable of the sower and the seed in Mark 4 gives us three revealing things that keep us from being in God's Word.

1.  Cares of this world.  

There are many of these in our lives, aren’t there?  This can be the day-to-day tasks we have, things like working, house cleaning, running errands, or taking kids to activities. All of these are good and necessary. But we don’t want to fill our lives with those and not leave ourselves time to read and meditate on the Bible.  

We need to put habits in place that help ensure we get time in God’s Word. Whether it’s first thing in the morning, during a lunch break, or before we go to bed at night, we can schedule a specific time and place to read our Bible.

Then we have bigger cares that take us away from God’s Word. Often we have seasons of particular stresses and worries that we can’t control. Caring for a sick child or parent, more work than usual, or traveling may change our routine. We can allow those responsibilities to take over our thoughts and minds. Yet often that’s when we need more than ever to hold fast to our time in the Bible.

2.  Deceitfulness of riches.  

This reminds me of materialism.  When our focus is on making money or accumulating possessions, we can ignore the necessity of grounding ourselves in God’s Word.  In fact, we can be less likely to go to God for help and provision when things are going well for us than when we’re struggling.

If we think that being rich or buying what we want will make us happy, we’re deceived.  However, it’s easy to get caught up in work and achieving success and allow our spiritual life to suffer.

3.  Lusts of other things.  

This category could include accomplishments for ourselves or our children. We have sports, hobbies, entertainment – the list of things to distract us from God’s Word can be quite long.  

These things aren’t necessarily wrong unless we allow them to choke out God’s Word in our lives. Once again, it’s about making time with God a priority. Let’s not lose sight of the eternal value of having our hearts convicted and challenged by digging into what Scripture has to say.

I struggle with all of the above at times and need to ask the Holy Spirit for His help. We can see fruit produced in our lives as we pull out the weeds of these other things that might distract us from being in God’s Word.

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8 Important Verses from Proverbs to Teach Your Children

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Have you ever experienced information overload?

I’m a planner by nature.  If my family takes a trip to a location we haven’t visited before, I want to check out everything the area has to offer – all the hotels, restaurants, and sites we might want to see.  But it doesn’t take long until I just feel overwhelmed with ALL the information.

There are so many websites to check out that I could get lost on the internet for days.  How do I know which reviews are reliable?  Is that tourist attraction really worth our time?  Is that the best hotel rate I’m going to find?

Here’s my point.  Sometimes we’re so overwhelmed with information that we don’t know where to start.

As Christian moms, we want to raise wise children.  This doesn’t necessarily involve book smarts; rather, we want our kids to make thoughtful choices and have discernment when making decisions.  I’m glad to know that we don’t have to search all around to find the best ways to teach our children wisdom.

The book of Proverbs gives us advice for every area of life, from relationships to money to how to conduct business to generosity and self-control.

Below I listed eight easy verses from Proverbs, each containing a basic principle you can teach to your children.  They’re all fairly short, short enough that you could even memorize them together as a family after you discuss them.  (I’ve included a free printable of these verses at the bottom of this post.)

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Here are eight important verses from Proverbs to teach your children.

Here are 8 important verses from Proverbs to teach your children along with the Bible principles to help them grow in wisdom.

 
1.  He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. ~Proverbs 13:20 

Choose your friends wisely. This is important when our children are young, but even more so as they hit the middle school and high school years.  We become like those people whom we spend our time with.

2. Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight. ~Proverbs 12:22

Tell the truth always, even when it’s hard – and it will be sometimes, even as adults. We want God to delight in us, and he does as we tell the truth and treat others fairly.

3.  He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. ~Proverbs 16:32  

Learning to control your temper takes hard work and the help of the Holy Spirit.  The second part of this proverb deals with any area of self-control.  Handling your emotions wisely is more valuable than being physically strong.

4.  The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat. ~Proverbs 13:4 

In other words, the lazy man wants lots of things but has nothing, while the diligent person will be made rich.  Work hard, be thorough, and you’ll be rewarded.  Gaining wealth isn’t in and of itself a worthy life goal, but it’s typically a byproduct of hard work and perseverance.

5.  He that hath a bountiful eye shall be blessed; for he giveth of his bread to the poor. ~Proverbs 22:9 

Bountiful here means “generous.”  When you work hard – as we talked about above – you’ll be able to be generous, which brings further blessings on your life. 

6.  A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favor rather than silver and gold. ~Proverbs 22:1

Your reputation is important.  As Benjamin Franklin said, “It takes many good deeds to build a good reputation, and only one bad one to lose it.”

Proverbs 20:11 says something similar. Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.

7.  Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end. ~Proverbs 19:20  

Listen to those who are older and wiser than you, and you will learn a lot. We want our children to have teachable hearts. It’s important that we parents put wise people – from teachers to coaches to pastors – in their lives as other voices to guide them into truth.

8.  Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles. ~Proverbs 21:23  

How much trouble we would all avoid if we could control what we say!  While it will take a lifetime to work on this, it’s good to help our kids begin to understand the importance of the words they use.  Those words can wound or heal, hurt or help.

When our kids were younger, I loved having stories that illustrated the principles in Proverbs.  Two of our favorite books were Wisdom and the Millers and Those Kids in Proverbsville. Both of them have short stories that are perfect for family devotions or bedtime stories.

I created a free printable of these eight Proverbs if you’d like to have an easy way to reference it.

Click here to access the free printable.

I hope you’ll find these eight verses from Proverbs helpful as you teach your children wisdom from the Bible. Is there another verse from Proverbs that you would add to this list?

Related Posts:
10 Bible Verses for Little Ones
10 Bible Verses for Teens to Memorize
10 Ways to Help Your Child Memorize Scripture

How to Prepare for the Empty Nest: 7 Tips to Stay Connected to Your Husband

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Over breakfast earlier this week, a friend and I were talking about how the seasons of our lives are changing.

Our children are mostly grown. While we’re still involved in their lives, our days of active parenting are over.

But this post – and my conversation with my friend – isn’t about our children. It’s actually about our relationships with our husbands.

My husband and I were married almost ten years before our older daughter was born. We had twenty years with one or both girls in our home full-time. But, depending on the Lord’s plans, we could have at least that many years ahead of us without them here.

As a wife, I’ve heard lots of advice about scheduling regular date nights and making sure you put your marriage relationship ahead of your kids. That’s good counsel, but it wasn’t always doable. Yet the reality of our children leaving home can come up on us quickly! We want to be prepared as we move into the empty nest season with our spouse.

What I’m trying to say is that here’s what I would tell the thirty-year-old version of myself.

Let your children add to your life together, don’t let them take it over.

There are certainly times, especially during those newborn days, when your child needs so much of your focus. But those intense seasons shouldn’t stretch on for months and years.

I know I haven’t always done my best with this. I’m sure that on occasion I’ve given more attention to the kids than to my husband.

So if you’re in the thick of parenting little kids I get it. I’ve been there, too. And while older moms like me say that it will end one day, you may be wondering if it really will!

Staying connected with your husband just feels like one more thing you have to do and you don’t know how to fit that into your day.

But as often as you can, do something, no matter how small, to stay connected. Here are seven tips to stay connected to your husband as you prepare for the empty nest.

As we prepare to enter the empty nest season of life, here are seven tips to help us stay connected to our husbands.

1. Pray for him.

If you know he’s dealing with a difficult customer or has an important meeting, take a minute to pray for him. Set an alarm on your phone so you won’t forget. Then follow up with him in the evening to see how it went.

It’s also good to have an ongoing list of things you pray over in your husband’s life. Pray for his spiritual growth, his work, his physical health, etc.

2. Say one encouraging thing to him.

Thank him for taking out the trash or getting up with the baby in the middle of the night. Make a point of noticing what he does. Build him up with your words.

3. Write him a short love note or text him a thank you.

Yes, it’s a hard job being home alone with little kids every day or driving umpteen thousand miles to take them to soccer practice or being a mom who works outside the home. But it’s not like he’s on a relaxing vacation every day at his job!

Make a quick connection with him during the day and let him know you love and appreciate him. Tuck a note into his work bag or lunch box. Send a quick text in the middle of the day to let him know you’re thinking about him.

4. Find one thing to talk about that doesn’t involve the kids.

If you’re like us, many of our conversations revolve around our kids. And that’s natural. But make an effort to talk about other things that interest the two of you. It could be a sports story or a news headline or something related to his field of work.

5. Ask his advice about something. And listen to what he has to say.

My husband has so much wisdom. He often sees things through a different lens than I do. Whether it’s resolving a problem with one of our children or talking me down after a rant, it’s helpful to hear his opinion on things.

6. Respect his opinion when he gives it.

Sometimes if this is related to our kids, we may subconsciously think, “I’m the mom and I know best.” Wrong. Don’t write off his opinion. Seriously consider what he has to say.

7. Talk and dream about your future together.

This might be my favorite tip! No matter what stage you’re in, begin planning for your future. Want to attend a cooking class together? Go on a couples retreat? Take a special vacation with just the two of you? Begin anticipating what that new phase of life will look like.

We’ve never been the type to have regularly scheduled date nights. We fit them in as we could when our girls were little. And we’ve had a lifetime of fun watching them grow up, cheering them on at their basketball games, and taking them on trips.

But then one day your kids can stay home by themselves without a babysitter, and a whole new world opens up to you! Admittedly that’s about the time their ballgames, piano recitals, and band concerts take over all your evenings, but at least there’s the possibility of easy date nights!

Regardless, let’s make an effort to stay connected to our spouse. We can begin to look forward to the years ahead when it’s just the two of us together again.

How do you stay connected with your spouse? Let me know in the comments!

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Truth Over Feelings: 12 Bible Verses to Give You Hope

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“Truth has a powerful way of interrupting our runaway feelings if only we’ll get it in front of us.  So I let those verses march in front of me, boss me, redirect me.” ~Lysa Terkeurst in The Best Yes

How I can relate to having runaway feelings! 

My mind will be drawn to a topic or situation and before I know it, I’ve imagined every worst-case scenario. Or maybe I want to spout off to anyone and everyone about some injustice I’ve encountered.  (Insert note of thanks to a longsuffering husband who usually bears the brunt of these runaway feelings! 🙂

It’s easy to let our emotions take over.  But that’s where truth comes in.  The truth of God’s Word can quench the flame of our emotions. It can put our fear to rest or calm our worry or give peace for tension.

Rather than let my feelings of hopelessness, discouragement or other negative emotions take over my day, I want to let God’s Word rule my life.  Reading my Bible consistently is so helpful.

But going a step further and actually memorizing Scripture is key. It allows me to meditate on God’s Word and have access to truth whenever my emotions threaten to derail me.

Below I’m sharing verses that help redirect my thinking when I begin to struggle in a particular area.  I hope these are an encouragement to you! I’d also love to hear any verses that speak truth into your life when your “feelings” start to run away with you!

Here are twelve emotions that can derail us matched up with specific Bible verses to help us win the victory over those negative feelings.

When I’m scared…

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” ~2 Timothy 1:7

When I’m worried…

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:6,7

When I’m discouraged…

“Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.”  ~Psalm 43:5

When I’m angry…

“For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” ~James 1:20

When I’m discontent…

“Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” ~Philippians 4:11

When I need wisdom…

“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” ~James 1:5

When I feel unloved…

“But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us.” ~Ephesians 2:4

When I’m disappointed…

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” ~Isaiah 55:8,9

When I need direction…

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” ~Proverbs 3:5,6

When I’m impatient…

“Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.” ~Psalm 37:7

When I feel inadequate…

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” ~Philippians 4:13

When I’m overwhelmed…

“Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” ~Matthew 11:28

What wonderful truths we find in God’s Word to help us gain victory over our emotions! I pray that I will allow God’s truth to implant itself in my heart so that I can live out His calling and bring glory to Him.

Are there other negative emotions you struggle with?  Let’s find a verse of truth to help redirect our thinking!

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5 Important Bible Verses to Rely on as We Parent Teenagers

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I used to think I knew a lot about being a mom.  When our daughters were young, most decisions were clear-cut.  It’s fairly straightforward to discipline my child when she’s directly disobeying me, lying, or being mean to her sister.

Yet the older they got, the more that changed.  I saw parenting as less and less formulaic.  Our approach depended more on the personality of the child, as well as their maturity level, and their history of making (or not making) wise decisions.

It became less and less about parenting through authority, and a lot more about exercising influence.  Each year that passed had us releasing a little more control to them to make their own decisions.

More than ever, I realized how much I needed guidance from God’s Word.  The five Bible verses below are a foundation we can return to again and again when we’re unsure of what to do.  They apply no matter what stage of parenting we’re in. However, they certainly became even more treasured as our girls have gotten older.

As we parent our teenagers, we need truths from the Bible to guide us. These 5 verses give comfort and direction in each stage of parenting.

1. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. ~James 1:5

I need this verse every. single. day.  Knowing that God’s wisdom is available can give us so much hope as we parent our children.

This verse is a promise.  I simply have to recognize that I lack wisdom (not a problem!)  Then I ask in faith, believing that God will give me wisdom, and He will.  My husband and I both experienced times when we were dealing with one of our daughters, and God gave us insight in that moment that we hadn’t had before!

2. “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” ~Hebrews 4:16

When it comes to parenting situations, I don’t always feel like I’m coming boldly…it’s more like crawling up to God’s throne begging for help!  But that’s the place we need to be if we want to find the grace we need to get us through the hard days.

This also reminds me of the daily grace God provides to us, even when we sin yet again.  In that same way, I’ve needed to extend grace to my daughters when they messed up.  I don’t live perfectly, so why would I expect them to do so? 

While our children’s actions will produce consequences, it’s not wise to hold those over their heads or continually bring them up.  We deal with it and we move on.

3. “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ~Romans 8:38-39

Paul was persuaded that nothing could separate him from God’s love.  The same is true of us and our children.  No matter how they act on a particular day (that’s driving us crazy!) or the poor decision they made that we’re having to deal with, God still loves them.

And when, as parents, we lose our temper or miss an opportunity to invest in our children, God’s love for us is still there.  It’s constant and comforting.

4. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” ~Jeremiah 29:11

There may be a day when we experience disappointed hopes and dreams.  Our children’s lives may not be playing out in the way we’d hoped.  Our relationship with them may look different from what we’d mapped out in our minds when our children were little.

But God thinks about our children.  He has thoughts about them and plans for their future.  Each part of their story can be used for His glory…as can ours.

5. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:6-7

I think you may sense a theme here! We started with prayer and we’re ending with prayer.

We’ve never truly been in control of our children’s lives, but the older they get, the more we feel that lack of control. They make decisions and live with the consequences.

If I try to manage every detail of my child’s future, I’ll be more of a mess than I already am! So what’s the solution to that worry about what I can’t control?

Take it to God in prayer. As we release our children, their present and their future, into God’s hands, He will give us peace.

How thankful I am for God’s Word that gives us hope and comfort for every parenting situation we face!

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Parenting Is Not About Making Me Look Like a Good Mom
10 “Don’ts” for Moms of Teenage Girls

5 Tips for Embracing Our Life Season in 2024

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Welcome to the first official Girls to Grow blog post of 2024! I hope your new year is off to a good start.

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I’ve just finished reading a great book, my first one of the new year. It came from my dad’s library and was literally falling apart. There were lots of loose pages that I had to stick back in at their right spot 🙂 I enjoyed it so much that I’ve now ordered a new copy for myself.

The book is titled Acts of God: Why Does God Allow So Much Pain? by Bob Russell with Rob Suggs. It’s kind of a reframing of the age-old question, “If God is good, why do bad things happen?” The authors follow the life of Joseph from Genesis and use the ups and downs in his life to demonstrate the truths they outline in the book.

I love this quote from the book.

Whatever season of life you’re moving through right now, God is with you. He is using this moment to prepare you for another time or another opportunity. Neither tough times nor tender ones last forever. But the purposes of God are eternal.

I think this is so fitting to consider as we’re starting a new year. We’re each in different seasons of life. You could be single, newly married, parenting small children, empty-nesting, or in your later years of life.

Below I’ve listed five tips we can use to embrace our life season, whatever it looks like, in the coming year. I’ve partnered each one with a Bible verse for us to consider.

Read through these five tips that we can use as we seek to embrace God's plan for our current life season in the new year.

1. Recognize that each life season has its blessings and difficulties.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: ~Ecclesiastes 3:1

You probably know how the rest of that passage goes. A time to be born, a time to die. A time to weep, and a time to laugh. A time to mourn, and a time to dance, and so on.

Whatever season we’re in, there are good parts about it. I’m in the empty-nest season. I love having a lot of time for my husband and me to do things together. Yet there are times I miss being able to see our daughters as often as I did when they lived at home. But I’m so happy that they are thriving in the places God has them for now.

It’s okay to sit in those conflicting emotions. Acknowledge the difficulties, count the blessings, and see how God will work where you are.

2. Remember that God is with you in every season.

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. ~ Hebrews 13:5

That’s a promise. It doesn’t matter if you feel like God is with you where you are or not. He is there.

3. Realize that God is using this season to prepare us for the next one.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. ~Jeremiah 29:11

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: ~Philippians 1:6

What a blessing to realize that God has a plan! He’s not randomly directing our lives based on a whim.

Whether it’s a blessing or a trial, each one is sent to teach us something about God and how he works. We won’t be ready for the next opportunity if we’re not learning from the situation God has us in now.

4. Rest in knowing that God’s purposes are eternal.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. ~2 Corinthians 4:17-18

We see the here and now. He sees forever. What God is accomplishing in this season is for our good and his glory here, but also with a long-term focus that we may not understand.

5. Respond to what God is doing in our lives by yielding to and trusting in His plan.

For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world; ~Philippians 2:13-15

I may not always like God’s plan; I’m pretty fond of my own, and they may not always match up. I might want things to happen faster or play out differently. But I’m called to have faith, to trust God no matter what.

I hope that these tips will help all of us move into this year with peace and contentment.

I’d love to hear something you’re currently loving in the life season you’re in! Let me know in the comments or click on the “Contact Me” tab at the top of the blog and send me an email.

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A Letter to My Teenage Daughter: God Has Great Plans for Your Life

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Dear daughter,

You are so precious to me.

I’ve watched you grow from a baby, totally dependent on your dad and me for everything, to a strong, independent young woman.

You stand on the brink of an unknown future. Yes, you seem to know the very next step. But you have no idea how your life will unfold. The coming years are full of mystery, brimming with hope and promise,

As I stand behind you now, watching as you prepare to launch out on your own, I have so many thoughts I want to share with you.

Yet, as in many areas of life, there are lessons you’ll have to learn on your own.

A letter from us as moms to our teenage daughters, encouraging them to let God lead them as they step into their future.

I believe that God has great plans for your life. If you’re willing to ask for His guidance and wait patiently for his leadership, you’ll accomplish much for His kingdom.

And, if you’ll allow me, I’ll just share a few pieces of advice.

Don’t settle for less than God’s best in any part of your life.

Yes, I’m thinking specifically of the guys you’ll date – and, if God wills, that one you’ll fall in love with. It’s such an important decision, this choosing of your life’s partner. Wait for the one who makes you a better person, who loves God and cherishes you.

From the activities you participate in to the career field you study, look to God for guidance. Be faithful to read and study His Word. Seek his face in prayer often.

Be humble, but know your worth. You’re a daughter of the King and He has an amazing plan for you.

Also, don’t get caught up in short-term thinking. Have fun, enjoy the moment, but realize that you have the opportunity now to begin the life you want to have long-term.

Give money generously. Save regularly and spend wisely.

Build relationships that allow you to be encouraged as well as be an encouragement.

You have so much potential! If you’ll follow God and allow him to direct your steps, the results will be extraordinary.

It won’t always be easy. Life just doesn’t work that way. You’ll make mistakes. Hard days and disappointments will find you.

But look for God in those times. For it’s there that you’ll likely grow the most. The struggles will shape you into the person He’d have you become.

Be brave and courageous. Work hard, be kind, have fun. And I’ll be here cheering you on as you step into the bright future He has planned for you.

Love,

Mom

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The Top 10 Best Advent and Christmas Resources for Families

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This is the time of year when I start to think about preparing my heart for the Christmas season. Yes, I’ve already started shopping for gifts and adding our Christmas parties and activities to my calendar. But I want to make sure I also look for ways to stay spiritually focused on Christ’s birth in the middle of the busyness of the season.

Here are ten resources that I’ve used – or, in the case of a few of them, wish I had used! – to keep Christmas centered around Christ and his birth.

Amazon affiliate links are included below. I earn a small commission from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

Here are ten helpful resources for your family as you celebrate Advent and the upcoming 2024 Christmas season!

1. Nativity Fabric Advent Calendar.

I would have loved to use this with our daughters! We had a very simple Advent calendar that we did each year (it involved chocolate 😉 but this one is so cute yet meaningful.

2. The Greatest Gift: Unwrapping the Full Love Story of Christmas.

This will be my third year reading through this book as part of my Bible time during the month of December. The chapters are short but meaningful.

3. Come Let Us Adore Him: Stories Behind the Most Cherished Christmas Hymns.

I’ve read other books of hymn histories by this author, and this one would be great to read on your own or together as a family.

4. Fisher-Price Little People Christmas Story.

We had several of the Fisher-Price Little People sets when our girls were young, but never this one. Looking back, it would have been a great gift for their first or second Christmas. These sets last for a long time and can be passed down from child to child.

5. Unwrapping the Names of Jesus.

We read through this advent devotional as a family one year. Along with studying the names of Jesus, suggested projects and activities are also included. (Click here to read my in-depth review of this book.)

6. Annie F. Downs Advent Series.

This series just came out last year so I haven’t used it yet. However, I like a lot of Annie’s stuff and hope to use this product in the future.

7. Countdown to Christmas Advent Collection (Adventures in Odyssey).

Our girls were huge Adventures in Odyssey fans for years! These audio CDs (or digital download) are great to listen to in the car or before bedtime.

8. Harold the King from Patch the Pirate.

Our girls also enjoyed Patch the Pirate recordings, and we owned this one. You can choose an audio cd or streaming format.

9. A Family Christmas by The Piano Guys.

The Piano Guys have some of our favorite instrumental arrangements, and this recording is lovely to have on in the background this time of year.

10. A Charlie Brown Christmas.

We still watch this classic every year as a family!

A great way to begin the Christmas season is by spending the next few weeks in a spirit of gratitude and thanksgiving for the many blessings God has given us. Then we can move forward with our hearts and minds ready to celebrate the greatest gift ever given, God’s Son sent to redeem us.

If you have any Advent or Christmas resources that you love for 2024, please share them in the comments!

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10 Helpful Tips for Communicating with Your Teenage Daughter

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I come to you today as a mom who’s parented two girls through their teenage years…and lived to tell about it 🙂

There are many ways our teens communicate with us. We might guess what they’re feeling from their body language, facial expressions, eye contact, and if they choose to cuddle up next to us on the sofa.

While those things give us clues, talking is typically the most effective way to communicate with and understand our teenagers. But as they go through their teen years, they may not talk to us as much as they did when they were younger.

Personality certainly plays into this. Some of our children are open books and want to tell us everything. Others would rather keep most of their thoughts and feelings to themselves. (I had one of each personality.) But even with my daughter who’s more private, I found that if I was present, patient, and didn’t push, she’d open up.

As we reach out to talk to our teenage daughters, here are ten helpful tips to consider.

Here's a list of ten things you can do to help you effectively communicate with your teenage daughter.

1. Timing is key.

If you want to have a conversation – especially a more serious one – do it when you both have a little time for discussion. It probably won’t be in the car on the way to school or when you pick her up after sports practice and she’s already worked up about something. It’s easier when both of you are calm and not preoccupied.

2. Listen fully.

Don’t be a distracted listener. If she’s verbally sharing with you, no matter how inconsequential it seems, give her your full attention.

3. Be calm.

This won’t always come easily. She may say something that makes you want to snap back at her. As one author said, refuse to ride the emotional rollercoaster with her. Be the adult. But be sure she knows that you’ll be there and ready to talk when she gets off of that rollercoaster!

4. Acknowledge her feelings.

You may or may not agree with her, but you can still acknowledge those feelings as hers.

5. Don’t accuse.

If you need to figure out a situation, start by letting her explain what happened. Follow up with some thoughtful questions that are direct but not accusatory.

6. Be honest and expect honesty in return.

Relationships are built on trust, and lying breaks that trust. We taught our girls from an early age that, in our family, dishonesty was a big deal. There’s grace for it, just as there is for other offenses, but we wanted them to know the importance of telling the truth.

7. Handle correction privately.

Don’t embarrass her by pointedly correcting her or bringing up her issues in front of others. Wait until the two of you can discuss it alone.

8. Share humor.

Have light moments of communication often. Our daughters and I send funny Instagram reels to each other. Remind her of inside jokes that your family has.

9. Be patient.

If you go through a period of time when your daughter’s not talking a lot, be patient. Make sure that there aren’t any deeper issues at play. Then just give her the freedom to talk on her timetable.

10. Make sure she knows that you always want the best for her.

This heart connection isn’t built in one conversation. It comes over time as you invest in her life and show her your love.

It’s one of the great parenting lessons I learned from my dad. I usually agreed with his parenting decisions, but even when I didn’t, I always knew he made those decisions from a place of truly wanting what was best for me.

While the teen years can feel very long, they actually aren’t! What a great time to build communication habits that will serve us well as our teens move into adulthood.

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