Girls To Grow

Nurturing moms in their walk with God

What Lessons Have You Learned in 2020?

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This has been a year for the history books!

Recently I found a template to create a list of “Things to Grieve” and “Things to Celebrate” from the past year. After filling it out, it was obvious that even with the hard parts of 2020, my “celebrate” list was a good bit longer than the “grieve” list.

At the top of my “grieve” list was my dad’s passing on to Heaven early in the year. That was followed by some activities our girls missed out on along with canceled trips and other plans that had to be adjusted.

But in spite of all that, there were many, many things to celebrate. Steady jobs and more family time, Friday afternoon outings with my husband, the trips we did get to take, along with some normalcy that came with our girls’ schooling this fall.

Before entering a new year, I like to review the past one. As 2020 comes to a close, I especially wanted to pull out some lessons I’ve learned in this unprecedented (way over-used word of the year!) time. Maybe you can identify with some of these!

10 Lessons I've Learned in 2020

1. I have very little control over the big things in life.

This includes most any type of pre-arranged plans, travel, health, or politics. I can pray and make decisions based on the information I have, but ultimately a lot of life is out of my control.

2. I have lots of control over the little things in life.

By that, I mean that I control a lot in my personal life. I get to choose my attitude in every situation. My response to a trial is totally up to me. Being grateful, praying, helping others – those are all things I can decide to do…or not.

3. I can always find things for which to be thankful.

There’s been less traffic on the road when our daughter drives to school in the mornings. We went through a time earlier this year when family game nights were more common. That empty seat between passengers on an airplane row is pretty sweet! We all had some trying moments this year, but we also continued to receive blessings from God.

4. Spending time outside is good for my physical and mental health.

I’ve probably taken more steps this year than in any year before! It’s become a habit to walk in our neighborhood five or six days a week. Back in the spring, my husband was able to take off work early on Friday afternoons, and we’d find a new place to walk or hike each week. All of this has been so good for helping me keep a more positive mindset.

5. It’s nice to have online church services as an option, but there’s nothing like meeting together with fellow believers in person.

There’s something to be said, on occasion, for watching church services from the comfort of your couch. But it didn’t take long to miss gathering as a community to worship.

6. I miss traveling.

We had to cancel the cruise we had planned in June. Thankfully we did get to take more local trips, but I’m ready to plan something bigger!

7. I can survive a vacation rental house with mice and a snake.

So yeah, on one of those trips we took, we found a snake on the indoor stairs leading from one level of the house to the next. And a mouse (or likely more than one) was seen on all three levels at different times by all four of us! Safe to say that’s one VRBO we won’t be staying at again!!

8. I didn’t always appreciate “normal” like I should have.

Normal was going to basketball games in a packed gym. It was counting on there being school tomorrow, not wondering if too many COVID cases would close it down. I don’t know what “normal” will look like going forward, but I hope I remember to be grateful for it!

9. Heaven is an even sweeter place the more it’s populated by people I love.

No question – to see Jesus is the ultimate joy of Heaven! Yet every year, more people that I know and love are going there. I have two children there, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and now my dad. As much as we miss him, what a blessing that he got to spend 2020 in Heaven!

10. I don’t know what 2021 will bring, but I pray that it leads me closer to Jesus.

We certainly hope it will be a better year in terms of fewer restrictions and COVID issues. But as my brother mentioned in his sermon on Sunday, any year that sees us growing spiritually is a good one. May the choices that we make in the year ahead cause us to grow in our faith.

What lessons has 2020 taught you? Do any of these ring true with you? Let me know in the comments or via e-mail.

In Friday’s e-mail, I’ll share the top ten most popular blog posts from Girls to Grow for the past year. If you’re not subscribed to e-mail updates, click here to sign up.

Wishing each of you a very happy and blessed New Year!!

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Giving Thanks in a Year That Went Sideways

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At the beginning of 2020, none of us could have predicted how this year would unfold. Who could have foreseen a worldwide pandemic that shut down schools and many businesses, confined us all to our homes for a long period of time, and emptied store shelves of toilet paper and cleaning products?

Throw in some major hurricanes, wildfires, protests, and a contentious election season, not to mention the personal ups and downs we’ve all experienced. It’s certainly been a year we’ll talk about for a long time to come.

Yet here we are. It’s Thanksgiving. Maybe the celebration of the season looks different for our families than any other year, or even what we expected a month ago. So can we give thanks in a year that caught us by surprise and delivered more than its share of disappointment and devastation? Yes, yes we can.

Here are eight things we can be thankful for no matter what 2020 has brought us.

8 things we can be thankful for in 2020, a year full of unsettling and unexpected experiences

1. God is faithful.

“Know therefore that the Lord thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations;” ~Deuteronomy 7:9

Our God still meets our needs and even gives us many of our wants. He has not left us to figure out our way through the mess alone. He is ever present and always acts according to His character.

2. His Word never changes.

We learned a little about change in 2020, didn’t we? Yet what the Bible said on January 1st is still true on November 25th.

“The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever.” ~Isaiah 40:8

3. We were able to learn new lessons about God and ourselves in 2020.

We may not have chosen this particular method of instruction, but we learned lessons nonetheless! Perhaps we learned to trust God more or made an effort to reach out to others in new ways. Maybe we developed a positive new habit or grew closer in our family relationships. Even though they’re hard, challenging times can help us mature.

4. We can always find hope in God’s promises.

There were some days this year that I needed a healthy dose of hope! I’m always encouraged when I remind myself of God’s promises. And praying those promises blesses my soul, too!

5. His mercies are new every morning.

“It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.” ~Lamentation 3:22-23

We’ve been through some uncertain days, but His mercy hasn’t failed. We don’t know what tomorrow looks like, but He does, and will provide whatever mercy is needed.

6. As Christians, our life here on earth is as bad as it gets for us.

When we know Jesus as our Savior, Heaven is our eternal home. That, my friends, is something to be thankful for!

“In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.” ~John 14:2-3

7. God hears and answers prayer.

Have you prayed more this year than you did before? There have certainly been plenty of things to talk to God about! How wonderful to know that our God hears and answers prayer.

“And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.” ~ 1 John 5:14-15

8. God is good.

Do I look back over the past nine months and say they were good? No, not in the sense we think of “good.” There were some good parts, but there were also hard, sad, disappointing, fearful parts.

But because God is good, I can trust that what He’s allowed to happen is part of His overall plan. And because God is incapable of doing anything else, His plan has to be good.

“The Lord is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works.” ~Psalm 145:17

As we turn our hearts toward gratitude this Thanksgiving, let’s realize that no matter how crazy this year has been, we have much to be thankful for!

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7 Helpful Tips for Navigating a Season of Change

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If there’s anything 2020 has handed us, it’s been opportunities to adjust to changes!

These adjustments have looked different for everyone over the past nine months. Our latest one involves our younger daughter. She’d been attending in-person classes at her high school for most of the first nine weeks of the school year. However, due to several students and teachers testing positive for COVID recently, she’s now in the midst of two weeks of Zoom classes before hopefully returning to school on Monday. We’d settled into the school year routine fairly well, and then…change.

Change takes many forms.  It can be the literal seasons, a season of life (I’m looking at you, empty nest years!), a new job, a move, adding a family member, or a lot of other scenarios.

Over the years, the seven tips listed below have been helpful as I navigated uncertain periods of life.

Check out these seven tips we can use to help keep us focused and growing during a season of change.

1.  Have a basic routine. 

A routine can be as simple as waking up and getting dressed at the same time each morning. Planning the first hour of the day by scheduling Bible time or exercise or a particular household chore can be helpful.  I remember one mom saying that the first activity of her day was emptying the dishwasher of clean dishes so it was ready to be filled with dirty ones as the day progressed.

I find that anchoring my morning with just two or three essential activities gives me a sense of control for the day. You can find guidance on building simple morning routines at Kat Lee’s site Hello Mornings. Once life gets back to a more predictable pattern, you can add other details back into your schedule. But in the meantime, set yourself up for success by establishing a basic routine.

2.  Put relationships first. 

Since I’m task-oriented, following a routine is fairly easy for me. And while that’s important because it gives a rhythm to my days, I can skip connecting with the people around me.  If we’re talking about family members, they’re likely experiencing change in some form right along with us. Are we taking the time to acknowledge their needs?

We may have to be purposeful about sitting down to a meal together or going out for coffee. Often, in a season of change, we can be distracted or feel like there’s not enough time to get everything done. That’s why we have to focus on our relationships and make maintaining them a priority.

3.  Keep to-do-lists short. 

Figure out what actually has to get done each day.  We can easily get overwhelmed in an unsettled situation. Having a manageable list of tasks to accomplish can keep us from getting discouraged. It can also give us focus when we don’t know what to do next.

The Lazy Genius has an interesting podcast episode called What Is Your List-Making Personality? (You can also read it as a PDF here.) Most of us feel a sense of accomplishment when we can check a piece of paper (or our phones) at the end of the day and see what we actually completed.

4.  Be flexible. 

Remember up there when I said routines are my friend? Flexibility is not. 🙂 Change is all about situations that are in flux, so be willing to adjust plans as needed. Again, 2020 has allowed us to practice this over and over again.

Be patient with yourselves and others when plans or situations change. Know that there’s a time and a season for everything…but we can’t always do all the things right now.

5.  Simplify. 

Make simple meals, wear clothes that don’t require ironing, do only essential cleaning.  Keep your schedule as free as possible so you can deal with unexpected situations that arise.

I often enjoy Emily P. Freeman’s podcast The Next Right Thing. She helps listeners tackle just the very next decision that needs to be made rather than looking ahead to what’s farther down the road.

6.  Pray. 

In seasons of change, this should actually top the list!  Ask for God’s wisdom and help with your current circumstances. When I’m overwhelmed, I find comfort in basing my prayers on the Psalms.

We’re all familiar with Philippians 4:6-7. When life’s uncertain, let’s really grab hold of God’s promise of peace as we bypass worry and take our requests to Him.

7.  Give yourself grace.

Many days don’t go as planned.  That’s okay! 

Stop. Let go of the frustration. Take a minute to count your blessings. Realize that eventually, life will return to some sort of normal. Until then, don’t expect everything to function just like before.

Seasons of change help us grow.  We often get a new perspective and are able to re-evaluate what’s most important in our lives. Change can be scary, but hopefully these tips can help us handle it a bit more calmly!

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An Uncertain Future Reveals Our Need for a Trustworthy God

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Fewer things are harder to deal with in life than uncertainty.

When the doctor realizes that something is wrong with you, but can’t pinpoint a diagnosis. Or your company is laying off workers, but you don’t know which ones. And when there’s coronavirus and regular routines are at a standstill and you don’t know how long it will take for life to get back to normal.

I know for myself that it’s easier to get through something – especially if it’s painful or unpleasant – when there’s a specified ending. Most of us can endure hard things if we see the end in sight. It’s the not knowing when it will be over that shrivels our soul and drains us of hope.

It seems like every morning I wake up looking for good news. And while I haven’t been finding it on Fox News or CNN, I can always find it in God’s Word.

These are the times we as Christians can grow as we trust God and look for encouragement in His Word. We just want it all to be over, but we aren’t in control of that.

On the Big Boo podcast recently, I heard Beth Moore talk about accepting that fact. She said, “I’m never going to be more frustrated than when I have no ideas to give God for how to handle the situation that my family’s in…I don’t get anxiety until I’m out of answers to suggest to Him.” Her point is that God is in control. He is responsible for us and doesn’t need us to help Him figure out a solution to our problems. Our job is simply to trust Him.

Over and over in the Bible, we can find reassurance that our God is worthy of our trust. The passage below is a wonderful reminder of how great our God is.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.” ~Psalm 46:1-3

God is here now.

Yes, He’s the God of the Old Testament, the one who was with Moses and David and Elijah. But He’s also present in March 2020. He knows what each one of us is facing. And He’s in control of everything…which reminds me of the children’s song, “He’s got the whole world in His hands.”

God is our refuge.

He shelters us and keeps us safe. He preserves us. There’s no governor or president or world leader who’s going to be able to take care of us like our God can.

God is our strength.

If you’re like our family, there’s some learning taking place at home…at least attempts at it. One daughter is doing high school classes and one college classes. And our house has people in it all the livelong day.

But, if we’ll ask Him, God can be our strength. He’s our power supply and our support system when we want to lose it with our kids. He gives the grace and patience we need as we adapt to constant change.

God is a help.

Mountains that move and troubled waters don’t impede God helping us. Just because our circumstances change, He doesn’t leave. He assists us and supports us, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and in every way possible.

How do we react to knowing these truths about God? We find out later in the chapter.

“Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.” ~Psalm 46:10-11

That whole “be still” sounds good, but it can be hard to put into practice. If your family is all huddled up at home, it make take some strategizing, but try to find time to be still today. Meditate on Who God is and how faithful He’s been in the past. Then commit to trust Him to see us through these unsettling days.

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Can I Please Send 2020 Back?

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Hear my heart. I know that I am blessed and have innumerable things to be grateful for. I have my health, my family, and a safe place to live. There’s food in the pantry and clean water at my fingertips. Because Jesus is my Savior, I have heaven as my eternal home. Hopefully, you can say the same.

But I think it’s also okay to acknowledge that some seasons are harder than others and that disappointments hurt. Isn’t that why we love the Psalms so much? David is real, raw, and honest about what he’s feeling.

Look at these examples.

“I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears.” ~Psalm 6:6

“Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted.” ~Psalm 25:16

“My soul is also sore vexed: but thou, O Lord, how long?” ~Psalm 6:3

“Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is desolate.” ~Psalm 143:4

God remembers that we are dust. [Psalm 103:14] He made us, and He knows when we’re hurting, confused, afraid, or disappointed.

So with all that behind us, here’s my question.

Lord, can I please send 2020 back??!!

It's less than three months old, but 2020 has already been a trying year.

I realize that it’s not even three months old yet, but some hard things have happened already this year. My dad passed away in January. All of my younger daughter’s fine arts events for this spring are canceled. Today we’re heading to Florida to pick up our older daughter from college, her spring semester now moving to online classes. (She is not thrilled about this development.) Our summer vacation may be in jeopardy.

I know those last few are first-world problems, and those disappointments are small compared to what so many around me are facing. I know sickness and death and quarantine from this virus are real.

But it’s okay to acknowledge that some of these things are difficult for us and to tell God that. He knows how we feel about them anyway.

And after we’ve done that, it’s helpful to remind ourselves that He is in control. I’m glad that He is, and that I’m not. Somewhere in all of this madness, there’s a plan and a purpose. And I know it’s for our good because He is good.

Maybe it’s so we’ll more appreciate our regular routine when it returns. Perhaps we’ll not take our health or our ability to be out and about for granted. Or we’ll be excited about watching sports together again (we will miss you, March Madness!!) And hey, my husband and I get to spend about twenty hours in the car together over two days doing this college trip!

As with all trials, there will be lessons we learn from this experience that wouldn’t have been gained any other way. To trust God – that’s a constant theme for me because I default to self-reliance so easily. We all get to grow our patience as life looks a little different than usual for the next few weeks.

I do know that there’s hope for the future. I have faith in a God who cares and who tells us to cast every one of our cares on Him. [1 Peter 5:7]

One of my very favorite hymns is Day by Day by Lina Sandell. The students at our daughter’s college sang it together at the end of the meeting where the administration announced that they’d be sending students home. No matter what each day brings, it’s message is relevant.

Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.
He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure,
Gives unto each day what He deems best,
Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.

So while 2020 is off to an unexpected, unplanned start for many of us, may we all trust God to provide what only He can in every circumstance we face. Grace, peace, comfort, and joy are all at our disposal as we look to God for strength and encouragement.

Grasp Now: 10 Ways We Can Live in the Present

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My husband and I recently made plans for our summer vacation, which makes me so excited!! I love having events to look forward to! Whether it’s a family vacation, a date night with my husband, or buying an item I’ve been saving up money for, I enjoy anticipating what’s ahead.

But what I don’t want to do is wait for a future event to make me happy.

I talked with my daughters about this when they were younger.  There were many things they could hold up as benchmarks for happiness – when I can drive, when I have a boyfriend, when I’m a senior, when I have enough money to buy those shoes I want.  I simply encouraged them to look around and be grateful for all they have to enjoy this day, in this moment, to grasp “now.”

Grasp means “to seize and hold firmly.”  Every day, we’re given opportunities to seize. Most of them can seem insignificant at the time, but they are the building blocks of our lives. Rather than let the small moments slip past us, let’s hold onto them firmly just for this moment that they have been given. 

I had one of these moments on Saturday night. I was working in the kitchen, my husband was in the garage cleaning my car, and our daughter was practicing a song on the piano. Nothing extraordinary was happening. It was just a typical part of our day. But I stopped to thank God for that moment with the three of us here, all healthy, safe, and loved.

I like this quote from Sarah Ben Breathnach.

“Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy.“

Here’s a list of ten things we can do to grasp the now that is today.

1. Give thanks for the small things.

Write down three things you’re thankful for right now. Bonus points if you put it on a sticky note and reflect on those things for the entire day.

2. Take five minutes and sit still.

Literally, five minutes. Set a timer on your phone and be still. Meditate on a Bible verse, sing through a song in your head, pray, picture your favorite place in your mind. Just don’t think about your to-do list.

3. Smile on purpose.

It can be at your family, at the cashier in the grocery store, at a perfect stranger behind you in line. It takes no extra time or money to smile.

4. Hug your family.

As in a real hug, body to body, not a quick pat on the shoulder as they head out the door.

5. Take a picture of something that’s beautiful to you.

It could be the flower blooming in your front yard, the plate of cookies you baked, your child’s smile. Use it as your home screen on your phone to remind you of the beauty around you.

6. Enjoy eating and drinking mindfully.

I eat way too fast, though I blame it on my kids. I like my food hot, and when they were little, if I wanted to get it down hot, I had to do it quickly before one of them needed something.

We gulp down most of our meals. Today let’s make it a process. Be grateful you have an appetite. Savor what you put in your mouth that nourishes your body.

7. Go outside.

Whatever the weather, try to spend at least a few minutes in nature.

8. Say a heartfelt thank you to someone who serves you today.

The bagger at the grocery store, the barista, the fast-food worker who hands you your chicken sandwich, or the teacher at your child’s school would likely all be encouraged by your expression of appreciation.

9. Meditate on a Bible verse that encourages you.

Here are a few to get you started.

“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation.” ~Isaiah 12:2

“My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.” ~Psalm 73:26

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” ~Matthew 11:28

10. Find a little time just to do something you enjoy.

Read a chapter in a book, listen to a podcast or playlist, work on a puzzle, bake cookies, or do some sort of craft. It doesn’t have to take a long time, but set aside a few minutes to do something that brings you pleasure.

We have been given today as a gift from God. May we use the day for His glory by living it to its fullest.

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5 Principles from Proverbs to Guide Communication in Our Relationships

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Do you like to talk? I tend to think of myself as a fairly quiet person, but my husband may feel otherwise! 🙂

Regardless, most of us use a bunch of words every day. Those who are closest to us often get the benefit (or detriment!) of many of them.

This came to mind on Monday as I was reading Proverbs 10. I’ve read it often, but this time I noticed how many verses in this one chapter deal with our speech. I figured this topic must be important if it got this much attention!

Whether it’s in marriage, parenting, or friendships, our words have power. I found a few principles in the verses below that can be helpful to us. I’ve not mastered these guidelines that I’m sharing, but I definitely want to do a better job at them!

1. Make sure that our words are refreshing and lifegiving.

Verse 11: The mouth of a righteous man is a well of life: but violence covereth the mouth of the wicked.

We want people to feel better – not worse – after talking to us! I’m reminded of Proverbs 18:21 which tells us that death and life are in the power of the tongue. The words we speak should energize and invigorate people. If someone comes to us down and discouraged, what we say can give them new energy and strength.

The opposite of this could be criticism or using words that wound. Sometimes if we’ve been offended, it’s natural to try to hurt the other person with our words. Or maybe we get frustrated with their behavior and are critical of our husband or one of our children. If we want to be that righteous man, we must choose to either keep quiet or speak kindly.

After a discouraging day at work, our husbands need us to use our words to build them back up. When our teenager’s missed out on an opportunity she really wanted to pursue or had a friendship breakup, she needs our words of support. She may not always act that way – and may even use her words to drive us away – but she needs us to continue to pursue and encourage her.

2. Speak words of wisdom.

Verse 13: In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.

Speech that is discreet and prudent shows that we are wise. Here we need the Holy Spirit’s help so we can discern what to say at times. We want to be careful not to purposely offend with our speech, but to be tactful and considerate.

Verse 31 also fits in here. The mouth of the just bringeth forth wisdom: but the froward tongue shall be cut out.

Just like the fruit tree brings forth fruit, so we can produce wise words as we learn to be “just” and walk with Christ. I’m also reminded of the Proverbs 31 woman who is described as opening her mouth with wisdom and having the law of kindness in her tongue. I would love to be described that way!!

3. Don’t talk negatively about other people.

Verse 18: He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool.

At times I struggle with all of these, but this one may be the most difficult to abide by. When we find someone else who shares our less-than-favorable opinion about another person, it’s easy to just dissolve into tearing that person down. Maybe it’s all true…but it takes us back to that old saying, “Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?”

Even more seriously, we don’t want to be guilty of passing on rumors or sharing false, damaging information about others. Let’s stop the gossip train before it gets started!

4. Recognize the value of silence.

Verse 19: In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.

I was talking to another mom recently about a situation involving our kids that we were frustrated with. I think both of us felt like we should march up to the authority involved and address them about it. But then my friend saved the situation by saying, “I’ve never regretted what I didn’t say in these moments.” She was absolutely right. That advice can keep me from speaking hastily or harshly and later being sorry that I reacted that way.

Let’s listen more than we talk. Remember Proverbs 17:18? Even a fool is considered wise when he keeps quiet.

5. Choose words that are appropriate and applicable to the current situation.

Verse 20: The tongue of the just is as choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth.

We’ve likely all been in situations where someone said just the right thing at just the right time and was a blessing to us. We may have also encountered people who ramble on and on (maybe about themselves) and what they said was of no benefit to anyone.

Verse 32 touches on this as well. The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable: but the mouth of the wicked speaketh frowardness.

It’s important, too, to leave the past in the past when dealing with our families. Don’t bring up that old argument with your husband or remind your child about how they failed the last time. Let’s stick to the present and speak in a way that helps us all move forward together.

Our words can be truth-centered, grace-filled, and honoring to the Lord as we seek His help to follow these principles.

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A Life Well-Lived

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My dad passed away on Monday, January 6, 2020.

It obviously wasn’t the way any of us planned to start the year, but it was all in God’s timing. My father was saved as a young adult, and we are fully confident that he went straight from here into the presence of God. Never is heaven more real than when someone we love dearly now resides there!

Our family was overwhelmed by the love and support shown by the many who knew and loved him. As the pastor of a church for 46 years, he certainly influenced a large number of people. But even more deeply than that, it was the impact he had as a person. He treated everyone he interacted with as though they were the most important person in the world.

Not only in life but now in his passing, my dad was a testimony and a motivation to me to live this one life well. There are many ways in which I want to be like him, but here are three that came to mind. Hopefully, they can be a reminder to all of us to use the time we’ve been given with purpose and intention.

1. Continually seek wisdom.

I loved the verse my brother used at the funeral service.

“And God gave Solomon wisdom and understanding exceeding much, and largeness of heart, even as the sand that is on the sea shore.” ~1 Kings 4:29

Dad was wise because he spent substantial amounts of time in God’s Word. He was a humble man who knew he needed God’s help if he was going to be successful as a husband, father, and pastor.

I and many others benefited from that wisdom. Especially when it came to parenting issues, I was quick to ask how he might handle a certain situation. And the same wisdom that was available to him is there for us as we seek it in the Bible and pray for God’s guidance.

2. Be compassionate.

In the verse above, it says Solomon had “largeness of heart.” That would definitely describe my dad! He was always concerned about others and what they might be going through and wanted to help if he could.

My tendency is to be focused on myself. I need eyes to notice the needs of people around me and then respond quickly. The Holy Spirit can help me to “Bear…one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” [Galatians 6:2]

3. Live for eternity.

I have no doubt that my dad heard “Well done, thou good and faithful servant!” He cared more about pleasing God than anyone else.

This week I was convicted as I read Mark 8:33 which talks about savoring the things of men more than the things of God. Perhaps we all have a tendency to focus on the here and now rather than viewing our thoughts, words, and actions from an eternal perspective. We’ll never regret time we spend in prayer, God’s Word, and reaching out to others.

There were hundreds of people at the visitation and funeral service last week to honor his memory. But they came because of what he did – which was care about people in order to introduce them to his Jesus whom he loved so much.

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3 Ways to Make a Difference in 2020

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I love a new year.

It’s a fresh slate, a clean start.

And fittingly, it comes at the end of the previous year, which is a natural time to reflect.

So did you take any time to look back over 2019? Did you look ahead at what you want to accomplish in 2020?

As I did both of those things, I decided that I want to be able to look back at the end of the next twelve months and see that I’ve made a difference. Honestly, I don’t know exactly what that looks like. But, alongside the other affirmation I’m writing down every morning, I’m writing this.

I am going to make a difference in 2020.

Do you want to make a difference this year? As I’ve begun digging deeper into how I can achieve this rather nebulous goal, I came up with three actions I can take that will definitely get me moving in the right direction. These are things we can all do this year!

1. Pray.

This seems so basic, but if we want to make a difference, it starts here. If we try to make a difference in our own strength or by doing things our own way, it’s not going to be profitable or lasting.

Instead, we can ask what need does God have for us to meet? Which people do we know who are craving a word of encouragement?

The answer might be obvious…but just as likely, it’s not. Yet if we’re in a habit of praying for those opportunities and asking God to guide us, He can show us exactly how and where we can make a difference.

James 5:16 says “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.“

While praying might sound easy enough, it can sometimes be difficult. Prayer is definitely a discipline! But we can see blessings in our own lives and others’ lives if we make prayer a priority.

Our part is to pray. Then we trust God to actually do the work. We may not even know in this life how our prayers affected a situation.

2. Give.

Hearing this word usually brings money to mind. And that can certainly be part of it. But what difference could we make if we gave our time? How about giving our best effort to what needs doing? Maybe it’s just a hot casserole delivered to a front door or a few hours of free babysitting.

I love me some comfort and some quiet. Yet giving can require self-sacrifice and inserting myself into places that I might not always choose for myself.

Galatians 5:13 says, “For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.“

Give a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on. Give up time that we wanted to spend on ourselves to serve someone else.

3. Submit.

Well, if we thought this process was going to be easy, this third one will remind us that it’s not. Are we really willing to submit our plans, our desires, and our will to God? Bottom line – that means we have to trust Him.

We can’t submit to what God wants and continue on with our own separate plan at the same time. We have to believe that wherever He leads and whatever He allows is for our good and His glory.

And no other person can make us submit. We are the only ones who have control over our will. Ouch! That means we also can’t blame anyone else if we fail to submit. No excuses.

James 4:6-7 says, “But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.“

We overcome our pride as we submit. We also become recipients of God’s grace in our humility.

I don’t want things to be the same at the end of 2020. Someone’s life could be better because I’ve interacted with them. A certain situation could have a positive outcome because I was involved. I hope you want that, too!

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Merry Christmas 2019

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So there’s no official family Christmas portrait this year, but we did get a quick photo of the four of us when we attended a performance of The Lion King a couple of weeks ago.

As we celebrate our Savior’s birth today, may our hearts be filled with the hope that His coming brings to each one of us.

“For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and peace there shall be no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this.” ~Isaiah 9:6-7

Wishing you and your family a very merry Christmas!!