Welcome to the blog today, friends! I hope you’re having a taste of beautiful fall weather like we are here in coastal South Carolina.
My husband and I just enjoyed a three-day weekend in Savannah, GA. It’s an easy two-and-a-half-hour drive from our house, perfect for a little getaway. We ate some good food (including taking a food tour around several of the squares, which we’d never done before – it was fun!), shopped, and walked around the city.
After 31 years of marriage, my husband is still the person I most enjoy spending time with. That doesn’t mean we don’t have our disagreements. But we’re committed to making our relationship work.
When it comes to long-lasting marriages, I like this quote from Amy Bloom.
Love at first sight is easy to understand; it’s when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.
Today I’m sharing ten things we can do to have a good marriage that lasts.
1. Pray for your spouse.
You know their weaknesses and strengths. Hopefully, you know better than anyone else what’s going on in their daily lives. So take their needs to God in prayer. Intercede for them.
Ask God for his blessing and favor in their life. Pray for victory over temptation, for their relationships, for spiritual growth. (You can read more about this in 5 Ways to Pray for Your Husband.)
2. Forgive quickly.
When an argument is over or when your feelings have been hurt, forgive quickly. Don’t hold a grudge or let bitterness seep in.
And leave whatever caused the conflict in the past. Don’t bring it up again later.
3. Overlook the minor annoyances.
There are probably some things that you wish your spouse would do differently. Perhaps it’s just because they don’t do it the same way you do! Maybe you don’t like how they fold the towels or put their bag of snacks back in the pantry.
Decide that you’re not going to nag. If something really needs to be addressed, do it calmly, at a good time, and in a non-confrontational way. But if it truly is no big deal, give a little grace and overlook it.
4. Serve your spouse as you would serve Christ.
This one can give us pause, can’t it? Do we serve our spouse with the same attitude that we would serve Jesus if He were in our home?
We can bless our spouses when we choose to serve them with meekness and humility. Then our service becomes a blessing to them and to us!
5. Give up the right to be right.
My personality type wants to be right all the time so this one is hard for me. But you know what? I’m wrong fairly often.
But there are other times when I’m right and he’s wrong. And honestly, who cares? Are we keeping score? Not if we want a healthy relationship. So maybe I don’t need to point out when I’m right, but rather let the moment pass and be thankful for my husband.
6. Don’t think you’re so easy to be married to.
It’s fairly easy to see our spouse’s faults, and often a lot harder to see our own. Maybe we see ourselves as the perfect marriage partner. But if we’re honest with ourselves, I daresay we’ll find plenty of areas where our spouse has to exercise patience with us!
7. Don’t talk negatively about your spouse to other people.
There’s no profit in airing your grievances about your spouse behind his back – not to your mom, your sister, or your best friend. Can you ask for wise counsel or advice about your marriage from someone you trust? Of course! But complaining about our spouse doesn’t solve anything.
8. Find things to do together.
While there were many downsides to the pandemic, one upside was that my husband and I would do something outside together every week. We found some new places around town to walk or hike. Other options could be trying a new hobby together or taking lessons of some sort.
9. Keep your children in their proper place of priority.
We truly enjoyed the years of having our children at home. Family time was wonderful! But now that they’re away from home much of the time, I’m so glad my husband and I didn’t fall out of touch with each other.
Date nights worked in some seasons, but there were times we just didn’t fit them in on a regular basis. But what we did do was make it a priority to talk and connect regularly, even in the midst of those busy parenting years.
10. Laugh together.
Life is serious. But sharing something funny helps in lots of situations. As the old saying goes, “Laughter is the best medicine.”
If you have other tips for having good marriages that last, please share them in the comments!