Girls To Grow

Just after Christmas, if you had asked my seven-year-old to tell you which of the gifts that she had received were her favorites, one of the things on her list would have been a tub of office supplies.

Yes, office supplies.

This particular daughter is constantly creating “art” from any items she can get her hands on (including those that other family members have put in the trash). For the past few months, she has often asked if she could borrow some of the rubber bands and paper clips that we keep at our computer desk.

A few weeks before Christmas, by some stroke of genius, I realized that she would be thrilled if she had her own office supplies that she could access whenever she desired. I went to the dollar store and bought a small plastic tub to hold the items. I put in rubber bands, paper clips, small binder clips, scotch tape and sticky notes.

By Christmas afternoon, our girls had set up a post office in the playroom and were happily using the supplies, along with Christmas cards we had received, to entertain themselves for a couple of hours

It was just another reminder that it doesn’t take large, expensive toys or high-tech gadgets to bring children pleasure – just some basic items and a little imagination!! That works for me!

Linked to Works for Me Wednesday hosted by We Are THAT Family.

Once upon a time there was a lovely, slim, well-dressed, young-looking mother (hey – it’s my fairy tale!!!) who allowed her daughter to draw her into a certain children’s clothing establishment so that the child could spend a few moments watching a video in the back of the store. While browsing, the mother foolishly allowed herself to be captivated by an unbelievably cute dress; she rationalized its purchase by bringing to mind the fact that said daughter did need a few new outfits for the impending winter.

Giving in to the impulse to splurge, she decided that the dress would be even more appropriate for cold weather if the coordinating tights were also bought. Totally swept up in the moment, this normally thrifty mother decided that the ensemble would not be complete without the matching hair clips.

Alas, the items were not on sale, but buried in her purse for just such an occasion was a 20% off coupon. The daughter’s face shone with joy when she saw what was planned. Once at the cash register, the total cost struck momentary fear into the frugal mom’s heart, but the appreciation of the daughter soothed her conscience.

Sadly, the outfit’s time in the closet was short-lived. After only a few wearings, it was evident that it was already too short to be worn out in public, even with those coordinating tights. The mother, poorer in pocketbook but wiser in self-restraint, now has the once perfect addition to a girl’s wardrobe listed on eBay, hoping to sell it and regain some of the cost.

It has one bid already; maybe there will yet be a “happily ever after.”

The back seat of my car is empty.

It should be at the moment, since both of our girls are at school.

However, that’s not what I mean. I no longer have a car seat – in any way, shape or form – in the back seat of my car.

Just a week ago we allowed our seven-year-old to stop riding in her booster seat, something she could have legally done a year ago, but which I had postponed until now. I would have held out even longer, but since our older daughter had graduated from hers at the age of seven, a precedent had been set. Now the back seat looks large and bare.

So, another milestone in parenting has been passed. It’s kind of like packing away the high chair or storing the diaper bag in the top of the closet. People who park beside me in the mall parking lot and cast a glance into my car won’t even know whether or not I have children.

I am finding that part of what makes this journey called parenting so difficult is that things are always changing. It’s been years since I had to change diapers or wake up for 2am feedings. Potty training is behind me and I rarely need to cut up any one’s food.

Instead, I’ve moved on to helping with homework and driving our children to soccer practice and piano lessons. Keeping potentially dangerous objects out of their mouths or making sure all the electrical outlets have child-proof covers are no longer at the top of my list of worries. My concerns these days run more along the lines of who their friends are and how to best protect them from being influenced by all the worldliness that surrounds them. The discipline has become less about obedience and more about attitudes and character development. Some things are simpler, yet so many are infinitely more complicated.

So, you mothers of teenagers and young adults, tell me – does this next phase of childhood pass just as quickly as the first one did? My comfort today is that God is there with me each step of the way, willing to give me the wisdom I so strongly crave, if only I will take the time to seek it.

I recently read a magazine article that stressed the importance of being a cheerful parent. While so much of child rearing is “learn as you go,” how much easier it is to handle parenting challenges if our attitude is one of cheerfulness.

If you recall my previous post on being a grumpy mom in the mornings, you’ll know that this is an area in which I struggle. It leads me to ask myself, “As a child of God, am I allowing His joy to be reflected in me?” What better way to draw my children to Him and the life He would have for them to live than for them to see me living joyfully? In order to portray that joy, I must keep my own relationship with God a priority.

As is so often the case, I think being a cheerful mom begins with the small things. Here are a few suggestions that I hope to follow.

1. Smile. I probably think that I smile often, but am I really looking our daughters in the face and smiling at them? I want to do more of that on purpose.
2. Enjoy our daughters. This means taking the time to stop what I’m doing and go into another room to see what they’ve made or view the picture they’ve colored or listen to the poem they wrote. By sitting down and really listening to them when they talk, I can interact in a positive way and learn more about their interests.
3. Encourage them. I need to re-read my post on ways to encourage our children. Obviously there are times when discipline and correction need to take place, but as our girls grow older, I want to make sure that is balanced with times of encouragement and expressing appreciation of the things that they do right.

As the old saying goes, “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” I want to build my relationship with our children by being a more cheerful mom!

Have you found ways to purposely set a cheerful mood in your home? I’d love to hear them! Visit Run the Earth, Watch the Sky’s series to read how others are planning a fresh start in parenting for 2010.

I typically don’t do a lot of cookie baking around the holidays since we already seem to be swamped with sweets from every corner at this time of year. However, once our daughters were old enough to bake with me, I wanted to begin a tradition of making some type of shaped cookie that they could decorate as they pleased. Since I personally don’t care for gingerbread, I was delighted some years ago to find a recipe for chocolate cookie dough that I could use.

It’s from the Holiday 2004 edition of Kraft Food & Family magazine and I’m posting it here, in order to share it with you – and also for posterity’s sake, in case I ever lose the original!

Chocolate Holiday Bears

3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) butter, softened
3/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1 package (4-serving size) chocolate flavor instant pudding & pie filling
1 egg
1 3/4 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
3 squares baking chocolate, if desired
Decorations, such as assorted small candies, raisins, craisins, sprinkles, chocolate (or other flavored) chips, colored sugars, mini marshmallows, shredded coconut

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Beat butter, sugar, dry pudding mix and egg in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until well blended.

Combine remaining dry ingredients. Gradually add to pudding mixture, beating until well blended after each addition. Form into ball. (Refrigerate for up to one hour if dough is soft.)

Roll out dough on lightly floured surface to 1/4 inch thickness. Cut out the dough into shapes using large cookie cutters; place on lightly greased baking sheet. Reroll scraps and cut additional cookies as needed.

Decorate cut-outs with assorted decorations, pressing in lightly. Bake 10 to 12 minutes or until slightly firm. Remove from baking sheets. Cool on wire racks.

Melt chocolate in microwavable bowl on medium power until melted. Spread on cookies as desired or use as “glue” to attach more decorations.

Every year, my daughters and I bake these together a few days before Christmas, keeping some for ourselves and sharing some with friends. This time we decided to carry out this tradition by including a couple of friends in the baking. To help things go more smoothly, I made the dough ahead, then had each set of girls roll out their own dough, use the cookie cutters to create the shapes they desired, then decorate their individual cookies.

The older girls ended up with neatly decorated cookies…..

…..while the younger ones were a bit more random and generous with their toppings!

This is another tradition that I look forward to every year and is an additional way to create fun memories together!

Others are sharing their Christmas food traditions at Life as Mom.

Twelve years ago today I gave birth to a precious baby girl.

Early that morning, as the end of my labor neared, the monitor revealed the steady thump of her tiny heart. Mercifully, the nurse removed the wires that attached it to my stomach as I began to push. During that brief journey that ushered her into the world, our baby’s heart stilled. The little soul I have yet to meet winged its way out of that hospital room to meet her Creator.

We cradled her motionless body in our arms, marveling at the perfection of her body, kissing her cheek. Her tiny head was covered by a cap, put there to hide the deformity that marks a baby with anencephaly.

That day marked the end of an emotionally painful journey, one that began months earlier when an ultrasound revealed the neural tube defect and we received the dire diagnosis it entailed. In my womb, she was safe – she grew and moved about just as any baby would. Strangers joyfully asked about my due date and if we knew the gender of the baby. While friends experiencing their own pregnancies registered at superstores for high chairs and strollers, we selected a grave site.

Yet I know now that Angel Marie was a gift. The lessons learned from her brief existence could fill a book. Three of them are paramount, a now unshakable foundation in our lives.

God is good.

His grace is sufficient.

His peace passes all understanding.

So today there are tears, but mostly I rejoice. Do I wonder what she would be like if she were here, celebrating her twelfth birthday among us? Oh, yes! But I know our Angel is there in heaven, surely greeting family members as they arrive throughout the years. So it makes the thought of heaven, as real and welcoming as it already is, even a touch sweeter to know that one day, she’ll welcome me.

shared at Tuesdays Unwrapped