Girls To Grow

At last, the day had come. As she told me on the way to the orthodontist, “I’m part excited and part nervous.” Although she’s only ten, isn’t it interesting how many of life’s situations we all face with those two emotions so closely intertwined? At least getting braces on your teeth is something I can relate to quite well.

It worked. She perked up when she saw the decorative cup, then slowly began taking sips. By the time she was done, she had consumed a whole can!

I give a sideways glance at the girl sitting beside me in church. Her brown eyes behind blue-rimmed glasses stare straight ahead, her mind seemingly focused on the preacher and his words. Her Bible lays open in her lap, her finely-shaped hands resting peacefully atop its pages.

Oh, that I could be a mind reader, to know the thoughts that stream across her consciousness. Is she pondering the message, considering the Scriptures, or has she slipped off to another place, where her imagination runs free or some other event occupies her attention?

I pray that she’s tuned in, that these truths from God’s Word are penetrating her heart, giving her comfort, building her faith, growing her soul. While I long to nudge her side, catch her glance, earn a smile, instead I focus my own heart. After all, our hopes and dreams for this precious daughter is that she’s listening, learning and ever developing into a young lady with whom God will be pleased.

When our daughters get out of school on Friday, their two-week Christmas break begins. We are quite excited about having a whole week before Christmas to celebrate the season at home. Yesterday I sat down to plan out some of the activities I’d like for us to do.

Monday: Thanksgiving. Yes, you read that correctly. If you’ll remember, we were out of town for Thanksgiving. However, I have a turkey in the freezer and can’t wait to make dressing, sweet potato casserole, strawberry pretzel salad and pumpkin cheesecake. With all of the activity of the past couple of weeks, my girls have hardly had time to stay at home and enjoy their birthday gifts, so this is a “stay-at-home and play” day (with a little time for helping Mom in the kitchen so we can inhale all those delicious aromas!) Having a big meal on Monday night means we’ll have all week to enjoy leftovers!

Tuesday: Dollar store shopping; visit to the library. Each year, our two daughters and I go to the dollar store and together they select a gift for each of the relatives we’ll be seeing on our trip to visit my family. This venture takes quite a while as they choose just the right item for each person! I’m planning to purchase a bag of Christmas candy to give to the ladies that work at our library when we stop in to check out some books. I hope to find some Christmas stories that the girls and I can read together. (I recently read them O. Henry’s Gift of the Magi – one of my absolutely favorite stories!)

Wednesday: Christmas cookie baking! We always look forward to making our chocolate “gingerbread” men, and this year I’ve had each of my daughters choose another cookie to make. We’ll be trying these Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Bars and these Chocolate Crinkles, then deliver some to our neighbors and probably freeze some to eat later.

Thursday: Gift-wrapping day. This is the day to wrap all of those presents we bought at the dollar store as well as any others that haven’t been taken care of yet. (Both girls often make special crafts for my husband and I up until the last minute!) We usually cover the living room floor with wrapping paper, ribbons, bows and gift tags.

Friday: After an early supper, we’ll continue our tradition of going downtown to our favorite dessert restaurant, then walking through a nearby hotel to see the decorations and model train display. When we get home, the girls will get into their pajamas and we’ll read the Christmas story from Luke 2, followed by ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.

Each night during the week, we’ll watch a Christmas show together. We have most of the classics like Frosty the Snowman, A Charlie Brown Christmas, and The Little Drummer Boy on video. One night we’ll travel to a park in another part of town to see a drive-through Christmas lights display.

Carrying you in my womb taught us more about the grace and goodness of God than any other event in our lives thus far.

We knew the breaths you took were only temporary, that entering the world just before dawn on that cold December morning would mean your end was near.

The moments we spent together were brief; your tiny body was already still, your precious spirit already with God.

I never carried you in my arms, but I still carry you in my heart.

While some plod through life, others skip.

Some shy away from the spotlight; others welcome it, basking in its glow.

There are the quiet types, the thinkers who measure their words and phrases carefully. The others find words tumbling from their lips, always eager to express their thoughts and share the rainbow of emotions that carries them from mountain peak to valley deep.

You are one of those others. You take life as it comes, moving at your own pace, finding in each moment something to capture your attention. Your nature is to give and your desire is to please.

This is who you’ve become in just eight short years. The baby who made her way into the world in her own time and in her own way is developing into her own person, one who brings joy and spreads sunshine wherever she goes.

Happy Birthday, dear daughter!

Numbers are a funny thing; their value changes depending on your perspective.

Take the number ten, for example. It could be the score of your favorite sports team in last week’s game, the amount of money you drop in a donation basket, the number of Christmas presents you still need to purchase – or, it could be an age.

This week my oldest daughter turned ten. She was so excited; I was a bit melancholy. You see, should she leave home for college at age eighteen, she’s already lived with us over half of the years she’ll be at home.

That’s sobering. There’s so much I want to teach her, share with her, prepare her for, experience with her – and learn from her. As my dad reminded me this week, our control as parents lessens as our children grow, although, Lord willing, our influence continues.

Yet how can I but join in her excitement? In His goodness, God has given me these past ten years to be her mother. The next ten aren’t guaranteed. But may I seize each day and live it to its fullest as we make many more memories together. May her father and I use our influence to help her find the life the Lord would have for her. And in a variety of ways, may I show the love I have for her that began on a beautiful December afternoon just ten years ago and has but grown deeper and stronger since.

[Additional Note: This morning, my daughter asked me if she is now a “pre-teen.” Um, no. Let’s not rush this growing-up process!!]

If you’re like me, you may have discovered that you have a blind spot when you’re driving your car. It’s that small square of pavement that can’t be seen from your side or rearview mirror, and it causes me to glance over my shoulder quite often when I start to change lanes on the highway.

One of my fears is that I will have a blind spot when it comes to my children. I never want to be the parent who has no clue what their child is really like or how he acts when he’s away from them. I desire to know my children, encouraging their strengths and correcting their weaknesses. However, I also recognize the danger of concentrating so strongly on small faults that I miss some huge character flaw.

Therefore, I have come up with five strategies that I hope will help eliminate any blind spots from developing.

1. Prayer. I pray that if my child is doing something wrong, she will be found out so that correction can take place. I also need to ask for insight into areas of my children’s lives that I may be overlooking.
2. Spend time with my children, interacting as well as observing. How does she respond to authority? What type of influence do her friends have on her?
3. Be approachable. If a teacher or other adult comes to me about my child’s misbehaviour, may I react with grace, not immediately defending my child, but taking the account seriously.
4. Ask my husband. He often sees our children in a different light and has valuable input about attitudes and actions that need to be addressed.
5. Give up on perfect. After all, my goal is not to raise a perfect child, but a Godly one who knows how to ask for forgiveness when she’s made mistakes. As I accept that each of my children will struggle at times, I can be open to helping them grow to be the young ladies that God would have them to be.

photo courtesy public domain pictures

In the past, we have used a variety of books and resources for our family devotions. We recently began A Family Devotional Guide: Read the Bible by Its Stories (Crown Christian Publications).

There are twelve volumes; each volume contains thirty-one lessons. Each lesson consists of a Bible passage to read, questions to answer and a weekly memory verse.


Our children have grown up hearing Sunday School lessons, sitting in children’s church and going to Vacation Bible School. They attend a Christian school where they have Bible class every day and chapel every week. Bible stories have been read to them at home from the time they were infants.

However, I appreciate this study because our children are actually hearing the words from the Bible rather than listening to the story told from a teacher’s perspective or put into the words of a storybook author. While they are familiar with the general theme of each story, interesting discussions can begin as the actual verses are read.

As we studied Noah, our girls became interested in figuring out facts such as how long he and his family were actually on the ark. They also gained a new appreciation for just how old Abraham and Sarah actually were when Isaac was born!

The included questions are helpful as well; it’s not just “who did what,” but asks for a little more explanation. Some of the pages offer a series of quotes and our girls have to tell us which person said that phrase in the passage.

I am always excited about promoting Bible knowledge in our children, while at the same time having Bible characters be seen as real people just like them and giving them Biblical principles to apply to situations they are facing.

How is your family studying the Bible?

(This is not an affiliate link and I’m not receiving anything free for promoting this series – it’s just a resource that our family has found to be helpful and I wanted to share it with you. If you’d like to learn more about this series, you can click here.)