There’s nothing like having children to make us realize how little we know about parenting!
You can probably relate. We thought we knew the type of parent we’d be. We may have mentally planned out exactly how we’d handle certain situations. However, once we actually had children and were parenting them in real time, things probably looked quite different!
As much as I’ve learned about our children through the years, I’ve learned just as much about myself. Each new age and stage has its own blessings as well as its challenges. And each one gives us and our children the chance to grow and mature as people.
Below are seven things I’ve learned (and continue to learn!) about myself on this parenting journey. There are certainly others I could list, but these are some of the most meaningful ones.
Here are 7 valuable lessons parenting teaches us about ourselves.
1. We might not have as much patience as we thought we did.
Before becoming a mom, I taught classrooms full of kindergarteners and first graders. I would have said my patience level was fairly high.
And then I had my own children. Living with them was totally different. My true self was revealed, and it wasn’t pretty. I was a lot more self-centered and short-tempered than I’d realized. Dealing with a strong-willed two-year-old or managing sibling squabbles didn’t always bring out the best in me.
The good news is that in 24 years of parenting, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to grow in this area!
2. We can greatly benefit from community.
I’m an introvert so I’m fine spending large chunks of time alone. However, throughout these mom years, I’ve found I definitely need time with other moms who are in a similar life stage. There’s nothing like bonding with others over shared joys or trials in parenting. We can celebrate and commiserate.
I remember meeting several mom friends for dinner as our children were finishing up high school. We had a great discussion about the transition between parenting children and young adults. I left so encouraged over finding common ground with others who related to what I was going through.
3. We have to work at being consistent.
It’s not easy to be steady in our discipline or in setting boundaries. A hard day of parenting can make us want to just give up on it all.
But we need to remember that our children are always watching and learning from what we do. They tend to respond better when we are predictable in how we interact with them and in how we conduct our own lives.
4. If we thought marriage revealed most of our flaws…parenting exposes even more.
I learned to do life with another adult for nine years before we had children. I’m not saying I did it perfectly (and I still don’t). But marriage was just the first step in stripping away my selfishness.
Once children came on the scene, it leveled up! There’s often some personal sacrifice involved when it comes to our kids, even basic things like getting up with them in the middle of the night or having very little time to ourselves. And while we wouldn’t have it any other way, these moments reveal more of who we really are.
5. We’re not in control.
I have to trust God because ultimately, I have no control over my children. From health to safety to relationships to choices they make, God is the one who’s in control.
The more time our children spend away from us – at school, summer camp, then college, and living independently – the more we realize the importance of praying for them. We can’t constantly be close to them in distance, but God is always with them.
6. We need wisdom from God.
I never knew how much I needed God’s wisdom daily until I had teenagers. Whether they’re asking for guidance or we’re establishing boundaries and meeting out consequences, wisdom is invaluable.
We even need wisdom in how to pray for them. They may be dealing with issues they’ve not shared with us, but God knows each one and can lay them on our hearts.
7. We can love our children more than we ever thought possible.
In case the first six lessons made it sound like parenting is only hard, this one makes it all worth it!
It’s amazing how much love and joy we get from parenting our children. It’s such a pleasure to have a front-row seat to watch them become the incredible young people God designed them to be.
What valuable lessons are you learning about yourself as you’re parenting your kids?
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