Losing the Mom Popularity Contest

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There are some days when I’m sure I wouldn’t qualify for most popular mom on the planet.

I think it’s Keven Leman who says that if your kids are always happy, you’re not doing a good job as a parent.  While we don’t set out to make our children unhappy, if we have any rules or set any standards, there will be times that our children disagree with us. 

We had a situation recently where I just wanted to say yes to what my daughter wanted because it would have been so much easier – at least in the short term.  It’s hard to make your child be different, to not allow them to do what “everyone else” is doing.  Especially in these early teen years, they’re very sensitive to not fitting in with their peers.

It’s hard to be that parent who says no – or maybe the one who says yes when no one else is doing it.  But I have to remember that these moments are building within our girls the ability to take a stand, to choose what’s right (or at least obey what their parents believe is right!)  I think we’d all agree that this can be challenging, even as adults. 

My goal as a parent is not to be popular all the time, but to build character into our daughters’ lives.  I don’t have to look for these opportunities; they appear quite regularly.  When I need to say “no,” I want to make sure the situation warrants it and then stand behind that decision.  I can make it as palatable as possible for my girls by being loving and gracious as I deliver my unpopular answer.  While they won’t likely understand today, I hope that they see my heart and know that I truly only want what’s best for them.  And isn’t that the way our relationship with God works sometimes?

On days like that Saturday a couple of weeks ago, I remind myself that parenting with purpose is difficult.  I’m not here to please my children, but to rear them in the way that they should go.  God in His goodness often brings another mom across my path or leads me to a blog post that reminds me that I’m not alone, not the only one who’s trying to do it right – not by a long shot.  (Example:  Kristen’s post {Dear Parents} This Is Your Warning Label.)

So to all the moms who share these same struggles, taking a stand against some of our cultural norms, I encourage you to love your children enough to occasionally be a loser in the mom popularity contest!