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It’s one of those things they don’t tell you about before you have a daughter. Someone really should warn us mothers about it.
It’s hair angst.
Admittedly, I have enough of it to deal with on my own. Is it time for more highlights? Should I grow out some of my layers? Is my hair thinning?
And for almost 13 years now, I’ve added more hair angst in the form of two girls.
I always admired the toddlers with the big hair bows that matched their outfits. Most days I was happy if mine had a plastic barrette clipped in to keep the hair out of their eyes. Honestly, though, I’ve looked back at some pictures from when my girls were little and I did better than I remember – some days – at having their hair look cute.
These days I have one daughter who requires only a hairbrush and the occasional hair elastic. She thinks that’s enough “fuss” about hair. I have another daughter who would love it if I were gifted enough to give her elaborate up-dos. Sadly, she often does her own hair better than I can.
They make most of their own decisions about their hair now, but sometimes I slide in a suggestion. At least it’s some comfort to know I’m not alone in this struggle.
Not long ago, my girls and I sat in the hair salon waiting to get haircuts. A mother with a young teenage daughter came in. They had a brief discussion over how much of the girl’s long hair to cut, the mother encouraging her daughter to cut more of it off than the daughter initially wanted. A few minutes later, another mother came in with her two daughters. They browsed through a few hairstyle books, the mom coaching them about whether or not they should get bangs or layers.
Admittedly, it’s a delicate balance when your daughter asks your opinion about a hairstyle or the way they’ve arranged it on a particular day. Straightened or curled? Hot rollers or curling iron? Ponytail or braid? Makes my head hurt.
I’m thankful for my girls and their hair and that they even ask my opinion about it at times. I’m guessing boys don’t have these particular bonding moments with their moms over hairbands and pink foam rollers, so I’ll enjoy these days and keep practicing my French braids.
Do you spend much time dealing with your children’s hair?
Oh, no! I have to look forward to this? I usually (always!) put my hair up in a clip so I don't have to worry about it. And now I have three daughters! Right now, they don't care much about their hair, except when I hit a tangle and they scream. But I'm not going to be any help at all in doing their hair. Oh, no!
It's okay – I know you'll be ready to master it when the time comes!! 😉 Or you can follow in my footsteps – here's a current example.
After writing this post last evening, one of my girls came to me at bedtime and asked if I could put her hair up in those pink foam rollers. This morning, she got up and fixed it into two cute, curly ponytails – with no help from me. The upside to my inability to do much with her hair means that she owns it herself and actually uses her creativity to do so much better than I would!
Well, that is certainly something to hope for!
HAIR! You *KNOW* this is a topic for me! 😛 My mom would never let me have hair past my shoulders growing up, (my hair was thin & she was not gifted at doing anything with it ;-)) so I started growing mine out late in college and have kept it at least to my elbows now for ~14 years. (I chopped it to my upper back twice for Locks of Love both times I was pg.) I'm going to rock my long locks for as long as I can pull this look off. 😀
As soon as I had a daughter, I promised I would *NOT* cut her hair short, unless *SHE* begged for it, (& I secretly hoped she would never! ;-)) She had her first trim ever at 4½ – http://castleblake.blogspot.com/2010/09/4-year-old-1st-haircut.html – and it was good. A year later, however, she wanted another trim. I thought, "Fine!" b/c I get my split ends trimmed once or twice a year, too. It was *NOOOOOOT* fine: http://castleblake.blogspot.com/2011/07/hair-horror.html
She has had one trim since. 😛 😀
I'm big on the hair bows, but quite honestly, she's cut waaaaay back on wearing them the last year or so. 🙁 The only reason really is that she's old enough to dress herself now, but I do her hair in my bathroom in the mornings, and her bows are still upstairs in her room. 😛 I guess I need to put them in my bathroom, instead!
We're not into big curls, yet, and b/c her hair is so long, she usually sports a pony tail after I pull her side-parted bangs back first. (She doesn't have bangs cut short; it's all the same long length.)
I *do* wonder when she'll start to do/want to do her own hair… I think I was ~4th grade, but my hair was way shorter.
Boys: we have to go to Great Clips every month to get Will's buzz cut, and sometimes he's not in the mood. (Sorry, Bud – no choice! He has crazy cowlicks all over his head: he will be buzzed forever. :-P) I don't trust myself to buzz him. 😉
I went back and read your post on Hair Horror and felt so bad for you!! I commend you for not letting your daughter know how upset you were at the time. I picture you as a great "hair mommy" – I know Annelise always looks so cute in her pictures!
My mom cut my hair short when I was little because she didn't know what to do with it. I taught myself to french-braid on a barbie doll since as a cheerleader we had to have our hair that way for competitions. Both my girls have long{ish} hair and I trim it every 6 months or so. Bella has bangs, so I cut those when she needs them cut.
Our biggest thing is getting their hair done in the morning. Now we are in a pretty good groove, but for a while it was an epic battle every single day. Sophie loves to have her hair up in braids and fancy bows, while Bella is happiest with her down. I usually let them choose what they want,unless we are going somewhere where they have to have their hair a certain way 🙂