In Over My Head

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There are seasons of motherhood when I feel like I’m in over my head.

Those newborn days, when sleep was limited, exhaustion was normal, and I hadn’t discerned those different cries, insecurities abounded.  That was one.

Those terrible twos…I had one daughter who had them terribly…before two even arrived.  Overwhelmed?  Definitely.

Then came the preschool years, the starting kindergarten, the elementary school days.  For the most part I got those.  After all, that’s what I went to college for – to know about kids that age, teach them how to read, help them develop socially, all that good stuff

Now we’re in the almost-a-teenager stage….moving into the youth group at church…and I’m drowning.

Yet it drives me to where I most need to be….on my knees, in prayer.  Prayers for me for wisdom, the right words, proper timing, the ability to listen, patience…everything, and mostly grace.  And prayers for her…God’s best, His leading, her desire for Him.

Yes, I’m definitely in over my head.  My heart’s heavily involved.  What gives me peace?  Knowing that He loves her far more than I do.  Can it be???  Yes, it’s true.  Those familiar Proverbs 3:5-6 verses, about trusting the Lord with all my heart, not leaning on my own understanding?  That means trusting Him with our daughter, confident that how He’s working is best, not orchestrating my own deal.

This being a momma thing isn’t for the faint of heart.  It’s hard work – heart work – and it’s trusting and it’s praying and it’s giving and it’s loving….and it’s worth it.