One of my goals for our daughters is that they become close friends. Some of the people I most enjoy spending time with are my own brothers and sister. I also realize that, at least in the childhood years, this often doesn’t come naturally!
In order to help the process along, here are five “‘C’s” I’m trying to implement.
1. Cultivate similar interests. Each child has his/her own personality and interests, which should be encouraged and developed. However, there are probably a few pastimes that they all enjoy, so provide as many opportunities as possible for them to participate in those together.
2. Communicate your expectations of how they are to treat one another. When our children were very young, we let them know that name calling and the use of phrases such as “Shut up” would not be tolerated.
3. Create an atmosphere of acceptance. Don’t allow criticism of one another’s failures or shortcomings. It’s important that members of a family support each other in their endeavors.
4. Carve out time for each child to be alone. This could involve giving each child a time and space to be by themselves or scheduling individual time with a parent.
5. Capture the moments when they are getting along and commend them for it. It may be fleeting, but be quick enough to notice and applaud their efforts!
What other suggestions do you have for building strong sibling relationships?
This is a great post, Tracey. I want my children to be best friends…and when they begin to quarrell, I remind them that "we're on the same team". Thanks for sharing this. 🙂
Blessings in Him,
Mrs. Stam says
love this post! We create the buddy system, where they help each other out, in chores, in learning etc… and brushing each others hair is their FAV activity !!!
Wonderful words this morning!
Right now I remind the girls that we are family, we love each other, and that we stick together. We're also working on sharing…..some days!
That's a great list! I'm trying to help my children be good friends, too, and I think it helps that we're home so much and that they don't go to school. They can either play with each other, or they can play by themselves. Usually, they choose to play together…although not always nicely!
April's Homemaking says
I have a boy and girl in their teen years, and I have been trying to nurture their friendship since they were little. I think this is so important- great post!!
This is a great post. I followed your comment from simple homeschool and am so glad I did! Thanks!
Tracey, I know you will enjoy this book, if you haven't already read it – "Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends – How to Fight the GOOD Fight at Home!" written by Sarah, Stephen and Grace Mally. I haven't finished reading it myself, but I am really enjoying it and getting some good tips and ideas from it. 🙂
I am so glad I read your post today…. sibling rivalry has been a bit of a problem for us this year, so I can use all of this advice! Thank you!
Oh — I also agree with Clara — we have read this book and I think we just might need to pull it out again!
What a great post, Tracey! Going to look at those 5 C's some more and try to implement some of those strategies. Especially working on #5 lately, it seems!
Another "C" I'm working on is Committing to pray about this!! So often, I'm trying to solve things and forget that I need to ask for His guidance to help me deal before I just deal, you know?! =)
Blessings on your weekend!
That's a perfect "C" to add to the list! I, too, pray often that our children will developing a loving relationship with each other.