Girls To Grow

Last summer one of my daughters began having trouble falling asleep at night. This is a noteworthy occurrence at our house because we have always been blessed in that both girls are good sleepers. She began stressing about lying there trying to go to sleep, but being unable to do so.

I tried everything I could think of – nightlight on, nightlight off; music on, music off; lying on the bed with her for a few minutes; letting her read in bed; staying up a little later – you get the idea. I asked friends and family for suggestions, but came up empty.

Finally, I called my pediatrician, who happens to be the father of five, and asked for help. His suggestion? Put a fan in her room and turn it on medium speed. He said that would drown out any noises, or lack thereof, she may unconsciously be listening for and the sound of the fan would also be soothing. Why didn’t I think of that??

Guess what – it worked like a charm! Almost nine months later and she’s sleeping well. I do occasionally worry that she’ll become dependent on that white noise for falling asleep. I guess she’ll be dragging the thing with her when she goes off to college, but for now – having that fan running every night works for me!

Check out Works for Me Wednesday at We Are That Family for other great tips!

Will the perfect parent reading this please raise your hand?

While we all want to be the best moms and dads possible, most of us freely admit to making mistakes in our parenting.  For those times when we know we’ve blown it, how thankful we can be that God made young children so willing to forgive us when we come to them in love and ask for it.

A certain event at our house over the weekend caused me to consider some of the mistakes I’ve made in parenting. Here’s a list of five, though I could certainly come up with more!  I’m sharing these today in hopes that I’ll recognize them more easily in the future and hopefully limit their recurrence.

1. Attempting to parent my children in my own strength without asking God for His help. I could probably avoid most of the other mistakes if I could remedy this one each day. Situations arise for which I have no answer, but if my first response is to ask God for His help and wisdom, I can be sure I’ll head down the right path.

2. Assuming I know what happened in a particular situation before getting all the facts. This is the good ol’ case of jumping to conclusions! It’s closely related to our latest incident. I hope this has taught me to be slower to react, to give as much thought as needed to the problem, and gather as much information as possible.

3. Taking my frustrations over an unrelated difficulty out on my children. This usually means I’m being short-tempered with them and not responding properly to their needs. Because my mind is preoccupied with other things, I don’t take the time to deal with my children as lovingly and gently as I should.

4. Talking about my girls to other people in front of them. I believe this starts when they’re infants; just innocent, casual conversations with other moms about our kids. However, as they get older and actually listen in, it can become something that makes our children uncomfortable. I was surprised when our older daughter had her feelings hurt because of things I was saying about her. They weren’t negative or embarrassing, but she did not like me discussing her with other moms. I am striving to do better in this area.

5. Putting other tasks ahead of spending time with my girls. I need to take time whenever possible to be with them, even if that means putting off other chores. Key times for us are when they come home from school and at bedtime. That’s when they seem to have a lot to communicate and I don’t want to miss that. I also want to take time just to do things they want to do, even if it’s as simple as sitting on the couch and reading a book together.

So now you know some of the mistakes I’ve made (glad I don’t have to share them all!) These are definitely areas in which I’m trying to get better. I hope by God’s grace to continue to grow in this area of child-rearing.

When it comes to being a Mom, it’s very easy to get wrapped up in the daily struggles and forget to focus on the big picture. God has given us the precious gift of children and we have only a certain amount of time to prepare them for life.

I was recently reminded by a post at Life as Mom how important it is to set goals for myself as a Mom and then find practical ways to work toward reaching those goals. Here are my initial thoughts as I considered the kind of Mom I want to be.

I want to be a Godly mom who is supportive of her daughters through

• prayer;
• time spent together doing fun and serious activities, realizing how quickly time goes by;
• providing every opportunity for them to reach their God-given potential; and
• open, positive communication about what’s going on in their lives.

I started with prayer because I have come to realize (what I have known all along) that only God can work in a person’s heart and spirit and help them to become all that He would have them to be. There are so many areas in which I can pray for my girls: health, friendships, right attitudes, finding God’s will for their lives, future spouse. I also need to pray for myself that I will continually give them over to God and allow Him to work and lead in their lives.

As for time spent together, I believe that takes planning and preparation. I want to find activities that we can do together as a family. For example, I have scheduled us to attend a free kids’ cooking class next month. A few weeks ago, we attended a Charlotte’s Web play, then went out for dessert afterwards. However, not everything has to be a “big event.” It could be something as simple as a family game night or a picnic in the backyard.

Another area I am exploring now that the girls are a little bit older is finding a volunteer opportunity that we can all participate in – a way to help others by working together. I want to keep in mind that they won’t be this age for long and I want to make the most of it.

With each girl, I am trying to keep my eyes open to potential gifts and talents they may have. One of them is currently going through a writing phase – “journaling” and writing little stories. Whether it’s musical or athletic ability, drama or art, I want to allow them to explore areas of interest to them and support them in it, even if it’s not something in which I’m particularly interested. The goal is to help them develop talents that can be used to serve the Lord and others throughout their lives.

Finally, I strongly desire to keep the lines of communication open. I think a large part of this is just being available – in the car, at meals, at bedtime. I’m hoping that being able to listen now to whatever they have to say and being interested in what’s going on in their lives will bode well for those coming teenage years.

As the weeks go by, I hope to keep these thoughts in the forefront of my mind that I might seek to meet the goals I have set and accomplish the purpose God has for me as a mother.