“Having a successful marriage is not about finding the perfect person to marry….It is about loving someone in a forgiving, Christlike manner.” ~Rick Johnson in Becoming Your Spouse’s Better Half
What is it like being married to me?
Have you ever wondered that, considered how your spouse might look at being married to you? I’m afraid that often I’m too busy thinking of some little thing my husband may have done that bothered me to consider all of the things I’m sure I’ve said and done to irritate him!
Let’s face it; neither person in a marriage is perfect. But what marriage teaches us to do – perhaps better than any other relationship in our lives – is to love someone like Christ loves us. We come to know our spouse better than anyone else on the planet and on any given day we can find something about them that we don’t like. Yet we have a choice – to focus on what we don’t like in the other person or to love them in spite of it.
The love described in I Corinthians 13 doesn’t come easily or from our own flesh, but through the power of the Holy Spirit. Patient, kind, long suffering, hopeful, unselfish love is only brought about through surrendering our own will to the One who loves perfectly and can do the same through us.
Love isn’t conditional. I don’t love my husband because he brings me a piece of coconut cake from our favorite bakery or gives me a bouquet of roses. I love him because of who he is and because I made a commitment on our wedding day to love and honor him till death do us part.
If I’m going to love like Christ, that’s going to sometimes mean sacrifice. I can follow my husband’s lead, go where he wants to go, choose what he wants when it clashes with what I want, and do it with a joyful spirit, not begrudgingly. That, my friends – that loving, gracious, selfless attitude – is where I find myself struggling so frequently.
Honestly, my husband is better at showing this Christlike love in our marriage than I am, but I want to do better! May God continue to do a work in my heart that I might reflect His love in our marriage.