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Daughter! Get you an honest man for a husband, and keep him honest. No matter whether he is rich, provided he be independent. Regard the honor and moral character of the man more than all other circumstances. Think of no other greatness but that of the soul, no other riches but those of the heart. ~John Quincy Adams
While I may not be ready to think about my daughters getting married, I’m afraid that the time for courtship and marriage will arrive all too soon. If it is God’s will that they marry, then I need to spend the coming years preparing them for that future.
Just as I want them to develop discernment when it comes to choosing friends, so I want them to be able to recognize the type of young man who would make a Godly husband, This is the man who will be her life’s partner and, should it be God’s will, the father of her children. What an important decision choosing a spouse is!
Here are a few ideas I hope to use in teaching our daughters what to look for in a husband.
1. Give them Godly male role models. Hopefully their father, grandfathers, uncles, pastor, etc., are men that our daughters can look to as examples of spiritual leaders in their homes. Make a habit of discussing with your daughters the spiritual traits that these men – especially their father – have. Use Bible characters to show men who made good and bad choices and how it affected themselves and, in many cases, their families.
2. Emphasize character. Begin by teaching your girls how important it is to develop their own character, then teach them how to look for it in others. My girls and I had an interesting discussion about this last week after several girls in my older daughter’s VBS class seemed to develop an attraction for a new boy who attended the class. I’m trying to help them understand that, while someone’s looks plays a part in the initial attraction, the most important quality to notice is the young man’s character.
3. Make prayer a priority. Just as my parents did for me, I began praying for God’s choice of a spouse for our daughters from the time they were born. However, not only can my husband and I pray for this, but we can also teach our daughters to begin praying for their mate. They can ask for God’s leading when it comes to the young men they interact with, that He will give them wisdom and clear guidance on which relationship to give their time and attention.
I know that the coming years will hold many challenges in this area (times two!), but I hope to lay a strong foundation now that we can build on as our girls grow.
What other ideas do you have for helping prepare your daughter for choosing a husband?
While my girls are young, these are great tips to keep in mind! Thank you!!
I am bookmarking this post, Tracey. ♥ I love all of your points ~ what great ideas! Someday I also hope to start having our children (after prayer and learning of their desire to marry) write letters to their *future spouse* ~ writing about how they are praying for them, how they are looking forward to what the Lord has in store, etc. I think that would be so special to save and give someday as well as for the other person to receive. ♥
Our pastor just preached a sermon this past Sunday about marriage and God's design. Our oldest son stays in church with us and heard this very important message. At the end of the service, my husband was asked to close in prayer, and he prayed for the future spouses of our children (if that is the Lord's will). This has been on my heart recently. Even though it seems so very far away, now is the time to start praying for and with our children on this matter, so that someday they will realize the spouse the Lord has for them is already selected and we are praying that God will reveal this in His perfect timing. Such an amazing and humbling thought!!
Thanks for this post!
Katie
Katie,
I love the idea of having your children write a letter to their future spouse! You're right; that would be such a special gift to give and receive!!
Marriage for our children does seem far away, doesn't it, yet when I realize how quickly the last ten years have gone, I'm almost scared about how fast the next ten years will go!
Wonderful post, Tracey. Since our girls are similar ages I know just how close this all is. I have been doing the same things as you suggested: praying, focusing on character and emphasizing Godly role models. My husband and I have felt a strong conviction to make sure we're modeling a good marriage for our children, making sure that they know we love each other, are committed to each other and when there is conflict showing that it can be resolved without fighting or hurtful words.