When it comes to communicating with my husband, timing is often a key element. As I find in Ecclesiastes 3:1 and 7b, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;”
My words are most effective when they are spoken with a proper attitude and at the right time. His participation in the conversation or his response to my request is more likely to be favorable if I talk to him when he’s able to fully listen and comprehend what I’m saying.
I have learned that it’s best not to engage in deep conversation at the following times:
- When he walks in the door from work
- When he is leaving in the morning
- When he calls from work during the day
- When his mind is focused on an activity, be it work or hobby-related
- While we are in a public setting
As we get to know our husbands better, we will more easily recognize opportune times to capture their attention. Admittedly, waiting for the right moment to share my news, ask his advice, or voice my complaint is difficult! Yet if I want to be sure that my words are received properly, timing is important.
It often takes great self-control (and Holy Spirit help!) to purposely delay what I want to say until a later time. However, one benefit I have found in waiting is that, after further consideration, what I thought was important to say may be better left unsaid.
Waiting until the right time to speak is still a struggle for me. However, as I pray and ask the Lord to guide and guard my speech, I hope to become a better helpmeet by improving my communication with my husband.
So true! There are days when I still rush to say something, and I can tell my his reaction that it was not a good time. Something that I need to continue to work on!
Soooo many times I have brought up a subject on the phone while he's working and every time I wonder….why did I do that! I am working on that myself. Why should I burden him at that moment when he is already carrying a heavy load from work.
Thanks for the reminder to be patient. Great post!
Jennifer
This is so true, and I really need to work on this a lot. My problem is that if I don't talk about things right away, I more often than not forget about it. And then later down the track when whatever it is comes up again I sometimes get myself into trouble because I forgot it! I guess I need to start taking notes and then remembering to check the notes when the time is right! Hmmm… Anyone have ideas for improving one's memory???? 😉
I'm just starting to catch up reading all of my favorite blogs.
I have to remind myself, too, that I need to wait sometimes for a better time to bring up a certain topic.