As a former teacher, a mother whose children have attended traditional school, and a current homeschooler, I have discovered several ways that a parent, should they choose, can help their child fail in school. If you should you find yourself in that position, know that you can begin following these tips even before your children are old enough to go to school, should you want to get a head start on failure. 😉
- Place him in front of the television every day. Set no limits on what he watches or the number of hours that he is glued to the screen.
- Never read to him. The fewer books that are available for him to read, the better. Don’t worry about including trips to the library in your schedule or beginning an afternoon or bedtime story routine.
- Buy only toys that require batteries. Toys that are one-dimensional and limit imaginative play should fill your child’s toy box.
- Do everything for him. Don’t teach him to button his shirt, tie his shoes, or clean up messes he makes. He doesn’t need to help around the house or take care of himself in any way. Set very low expectations for him.
- Allow him to express his feelings about himself and others in any way he chooses. Don’t reprimand him when he hits another child or is disrespectful to an adult. Simply offer excuses for his behavior.
While I can’t guarantee that these five steps will work every time, they will certainly give him a head start at being a failure in school – and, for that matter, in life.
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