Girls To Grow

Have you been disappointed lately? I was reflecting on some disappointments I’ve experienced and recalled writing about this one when it happened. It was several years ago, but I still remember it vividly. (It involves a long travel delay and our 25th wedding anniversary.)

We’re never too old or too mature to experience unfulfilled hopes and unmet expectations. No matter our age or stage, life continues to deliver disappointments.

That sounds really dreadful (!), but hopefully we can learn some lessons from the story of Elisabeth, wife to Zacharias and mother to John the Baptist, in Luke 1. If disappointments are going to come anyway, hopefully we can grow through them!

I admit to making some assumptions here. Scripture never specifically says that Elisabeth was disappointed. But it would make sense that in the midst of a culture that placed a high value on producing children – especially sons – and continuing the family line, Elisabeth experienced disappointment when she didn’t bear a child.

Children were seen as a blessing from God. Barrenness was seen as a curse or a punishment. At least at some point, I can see Elisabeth feeling like she’d failed at her primary responsibility.

Our disappointment may not be related to having a family…or it may. I’ve been there myself. But regardless of the nature of our disappointment, I hope we can take to heart some of the lessons below.

Suffering disappointment doesn’t mean we’re out of fellowship with God.

“And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.” ~Luke 1:6

Elisabeth’s barrenness didn’t come about because she was living in sin. Scripture says she was righteous and blameless. Obviously she wasn’t perfect, but she sought to follow God and obey Him.

This reminds us that some difficulties we experience are just part of life. All are God-allowed – and certain disappointments can be a result of our own foolish decisions. Regardless, God knows and cares about each one.

Humility is often grown in the soil of disappointment.

“And they had no child, because that Elisabeth was barren, and they both were now well stricken in years.” ~Luke 1:7

Years and years went by with no son or daughter for this Godly couple. How difficult it must have been to see their relatives and friends growing families, yet realizing as time went by that that likely wouldn’t be their story.

If everything is going great and all our needs and wants are met, we can be tempted to slide over into self-reliance and pride. A humble spirit comes a lot more easily when we’re in or have been through a situation that we can’t control.

In the midst of disappointment, keep on praying.

“But the angel said unto him, Fear not, Zacharias: for thy prayer is heard; and thy wife Elisabeth shall bear thee a son, and thou shalt call his name John.” ~Luke 1:13

We have no idea how many times Zacharias and Elisabeth had prayed for a child over the years. But we do know that in His own time, God chose to answer that prayer. Not only did He answer, but Elisabeth became the mother to the greatest prophet born of women. [Luke 7:28]

Continue to have faith through a season of disappointment.

As far as we know, Elisabeth didn’t get the angel experience that Zacharias did. Likely she found out from Zacharias sharing the story in writing since he was unable to speak after his encounter with the angel. Yet in spite of her receiving the news second hand, we don’t see any indication of a lack of faith. Perhaps seeing what had happened to Zacharias due to his unbelief led her to accept the news right away!

If God fulfills our desire and alleviates the disappointment, recognize His hand and thank Him for it.

“And after those days his wife Elisabeth conceived, and hid herself five months, saying, Thus hath the Lord dealt with me in the days wherein he looked on me, to take away my reproach among men.” ~Luke 1:24-25

God chose to give Elisabeth a son and she acknowledged it as a gift from Him. What had been a reproach would be no longer. She rejoiced in God’s notice of her, and gave Him glory for this display of His power.

Whatever your situation, rejoice in the good news of others.

“And it came to pass, that, when Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost:

And she spake out with a loud voice, and said, Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb.” ~Luke 1:41-45

Elisabeth’s news was uber exciting! She was way past child-bearing years, but she was finally going to have a baby. Then here comes her young cousin Mary with the news that she is going to bear the Messiah, the long-awaited Savior!

What is Elisabeth’s response? She rejoices with her. If there were any feelings of being overshadowed, we don’t see them. She is only full of excitement for what is going to take place in Mary’s life.

It can be easy (at least speaking for myself) to outwardly rejoice in someone else’s good news while wishing on the inside that my own situation was different. But with the Holy Spirit’s help, we can be genuinely happy for the other person as we trust that God is in control and working what is best for us in our own lives.

When disappointments come, may God give us the grace to walk through them in a way that brings honor and glory to Him.

Related posts:

• What Ruth Teaches Me About Trusting God
• What Sarah Teaches Me About Faith
• What Hannah Teaches Me About Prayer

Since I’m not naturally “crafty” I don’t make much with my hands. I admire those of you who sew, knit, crochet, quilt or do any of those type things!

My husband, on the other hand, enjoys woodworking. He’s built a number of pieces and is currently putting finishing touches on four bar stools that we’ll use at our kitchen counter.

I guess the closest I come to these skills is baking. At least the whole family gets to enjoy my finished product!

Typically we make things because we enjoy the process AND the end result. As I read the verse below the other night, a truth that I already knew but wanted to meditate on stuck in my mind.

“Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.” ~Revelation 4:11

There’s a similar truth in Colossians 1:16b.

“…all things were created by him, and for him…”

You and I were created for God’s pleasure. We were made for His enjoyment. He created us with our unique personalities and giftings. He delights in us because we are His creation. There’s nothing we have to do – or can do – to earn His love.

But as I thought about this verse a little more, I related this truth of God getting pleasure from us to how I receive pleasure from my relationship with my children. God is our Father, so I wanted to see how these two ideas could be related.

Here are eight ways we often receive pleasure as we parent our children.

Seeing our children get along with one another.

So maybe this doesn’t happen very often, especially in the earlier years of childhood. We only have two daughters, but whenever I’d see them playing together or being kind to one another, it would make my heart happy.

These days, our youngest certainly misses our daughter who’s off at college! They talked on the phone for over an hour one night recently, and she just mailed a care package of items she knew her older sister would enjoy.

How pleased God must be when He sees His children walking in harmony with one another! Gossip, anger, and bitterness don’t bring Him glory.

Watching our children participate in an activity they enjoy.

Whether it’s a sport or a musical competition or a pie-eating contest, we as parents are happy when our kids find something they enjoy and do well at it.

Each of us has God-given talents and abilities. How God must enjoy seeing us use those to bring Him glory!

Our children choosing to spend time with us.

When they’re little, our kids don’t really have a choice in the amount of time they spend with us! But the older they get, the more meaningful it is when our children choose to be with us. We don’t even have to be doing anything together; we could just be sitting in the same room reading our own books. But it’s nice to have them choose to be around us when they could be somewhere else.

How often do we make time just to be in God’s presence? Sometimes we may read His Word. Other times we may pray or meditate. Or we can choose to just sit and be still before Him.

The joy our children show when they like a gift we give them.

I confess to not being a great gift giver. I’m not good about noticing what someone likes and remembering their preferences when it’s time to give a gift. But occasionally my husband and I have given our girls a gift that they loved. We knew ahead of time that they were going to be so excited to receive it, and we anticipated their enthusiastic response!

What a sweet thought that our good God delights in the joy we feel when He blesses us, especially in a specific way.

When our children are thankful (without being prompted).

A “thank you” that comes after I remind my child to say it doesn’t mean nearly as much as one that just comes bubbling out of a grateful heart!

When we provide for our children, sometimes we may wonder if they just take it all for granted. I know it warms my heart when I hear the words or receive a note from one of our children that says “thank you.”

We know that it’s God’s Will for us to be thankful. [1 Thessalonians 5:18] I want my heart to be so overflowing with gratefulness for all He’s done for me that I am constantly expressing thanks to Him. Offering Him praise should be a priority for us.

When our children obey us.

Not a whole lot to say here! It’s thrilling when we ask a child to do something…and they just do it. No backtalk, no questioning, no delay.

Surely it brings God pleasure when we respond exactly that way to Him.

When our children actually want our opinion.

As our kids get older, they start making a lot of decisions for themselves. Sometimes we give unsolicited advice (ha!) but it’s rewarding when they actually come and ask for our guidance.

I wonder if sometimes we get too busy with our own agenda to take time to ask God about what we should do. Surely He delights in our asking for His wisdom.

Hearing our children say “I love you.”

Not saying it so they get something they want or avoid potential punishment, but an unsolicited “I love you.”

How often do we just say to God “I love you?” Not because we want a prayer answered or a special blessing, but just to let Him know we love Him.

So that’s the truth I’ll focus on this week…that I was created to bring pleasure to almighty God.

Related posts:

• 5 Lessons I Learned from a 10-Hour Travel Delay
• You Can’t Measure Hard, and You Can’t Measure Grace
• 4 Tips to Help You Count Your Blessings

If you’ve ever wondered whether other Christian women struggle in their walk with God like you do at times, today’s post will reassure you that I, for one, certainly do!

Recently I was in a situation where someone said something that rubbed me the wrong way. I was a little surprised at first and didn’t react outwardly. I just kind of sat with those words for a few minutes.

Now here’s what typically happens in circumstances like this (which could include any type of perceived hurt or injustice – maybe even directed toward my children – that gets me all worked up.) That offense gets into my mind and I go over it. and over it. and over it.

I think of what they said, and how I could have responded and how I’m going to act or what I’ll say the next time I see them. Or how I won’t say anything right now, but I’ll wait and bring it up later. Or how I won’t say anything at all, but for the next week, I’ll silently hold it against that person.

Well, that’s exactly what started to happen. My mind went into action and I began brooding over how I felt offended.

But I also began to realize that repeatedly hashing this over in my mind was not healthy. Dwelling on it was only going to make me more hurt and angry.

Out of nowhere (or so it seemed) in the midst of my hurt feelings, this passage, spoken by Jesus, came to mind. (Not in these exact words, but in my own summarized version.)

“Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.” [Matthew 5:38-39]

No, I didn’t get a slap in the face. But the principle that spoke to me here was don’t be so quick to take offense. And beyond that, don’t seek to hurt the other person in return.

While I was provoked by what had been said, in a spirit of grace, I could choose to let it go. After all, how many times have I said or done things that offended God? Many, many times. Yet He forgives.

The Beatitudes at the beginning of Matthew 5 say blessed are the meek. Was I going to choose meekness or was I going to stand up for my own injured feelings?

I followed that up with Philippians 4:8. Allowing this hurt to fester in my mind was certainly not pure or lovely, virtuous or praiseworthy. Rather it was filling my mind with self-centered, resentful thoughts.

So did I immediately let it go? Honestly, it took me a few minutes. And it involved the realization that my human nature likes to hold a grudge and focus on my “offended-ness.” The “old man” that lives inside of me has a lot of power. But my “new man” knows the freedom I can live in if I will let it go. Otherwise, I leave room for a “root of bitterness” to take hold. [Hebrews 12:15]

However, I must have the Holy Spirit’s help, because I don’t feel strong enough to do it on my own. And I believe I had His help in this particular struggle. He reminded me of those verses to convict me that harping on what had happened was wrong.

For the rest of the day, I felt pretty good about this whole situation. I felt like I’d gained a spiritual victory.

But can you believe it? That night as I lay in bed, here came that disagreeable thought again! I had to fight it off once more.

That whole passage in Ephesians 6 which tells us we don’t wrestle against flesh and blood is so true. It’s unseen enemies that can slip in and defeat us. So we have to constantly arm ourselves with truth, righteousness, faith, and the Word of God.

I wish I could say I’ve learned my lesson, but this is a constant struggle for me. How vital it is for all of us to bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ [2 Corinthians 10:5]. May we all choose to listen to the Holy Spirit’s prompting when our flesh wants to do its own thing!

Related posts:

• 5 Daily Practices for the Christian Woman
• Don’t Be a Fool: 5 Things to Avoid if You Want to Be Wise
• 5 Tips to Keep You from Getting Your Own Way

Years ago, we had a treadmill in our house. Well, it started out in the house, in a spare bedroom (pre-kids). Then it made its way to a corner of our bedroom, and finally out to the garage before we eventually sold it.

I actually like walking on a treadmill, but these days, it only happens if I have a little downtime during a hotel stay and want to fit in some exercise. And I have to admit that it can get a little monotonous. That belt is just cycling around over and over and over.

Sometimes we might feel that way about life. We get stuck in a rut, doing the same things the same way repeatedly. And we can get discouraged.

But as I was reading my Bible the other day, I found a boost of hope in Psalm 16:11.

“Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”

Here are three reasons this verse can give us hope.

1. We can rest in His guidance.

The first part of the verse says that God will show us the path of life. How thankful we are, most of all, that God has revealed to us the path to eternal life! That’s the most important one we can find. In John 14:6, Jesus tells us that He is the way to the Father, and through Him we find salvation.

Yet I believe God also shows us the path through our life here on earth. The Cambridge Bible commentary says, “‘The path of life’ is not merely a path which leads to life, but one in which life is to be found.”

Through circumstances, open and closed doors, by following principles found in His Word, by being sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading, we can trust God to show us the path in which we should walk. That’s where we’ll find the most satisfaction in this life.

We can have hope because we’re not left to figure out life on our own! God will direct us. “I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.” ~Psalm 32:8

2. We will find joy in His presence.

As Christians, one day we will physically be in his presence in heaven forever. But even now, through prayer and the Holy Spirit that lives in us, we can experience a taste of that joy.

I would relate great joy to how I felt after FaceTiming last week with my daughter who’s away at college. It was exciting to hear that she was doing well and to catch up with what’s happening in her life.

But even that joy dims over time. A couple of days later, I wanted another update! However, in Christ’s presence, we can find joy that completely satisfies. What a thought, to be filled to capacity with joy! How that makes me want to spend more time with Him!

3. We can anticipate eternal pleasures.

I don’t know exactly what those eternal pleasures will look like. But when I think of all the pleasures we have here on earth where there is still sin and human nature to contend with, I know they must be wonderful pleasures. Earthly pleasures don’t last, but God has laid up for us an inexhaustible store of everlasting treasures.

This reminds me of Colossians 3 which is the memory passage I’m working on right now. In the first verse, we’re told to seek those things which are above, where Christ sits on the right hand of God.

It’s easy to get discouraged if we only focus on the here and now. We have to purposely set our minds on heaven and the glories that await the children of God there. We can’t even grasp the undending delights of discovering God for eternity.

So if you need an infusion of hope today, meditate on these three truths from Psalm 16:11. God guides us, we find joy in His presence, and He offers us pleasures with him forevermore.

Related posts:

• Lost Your Hope? Find It Here
• 8 Ways to Know if We Have Godly Wisdom
• Before You Go Ahead, Turn Around and See