Girls To Grow - Page 4 of 183 - Nurturing moms in their walk with God

Saturday Salutes ~ A Senior Moment and the Meal I’ll Never Eat Again

October 20, 2018 by Tracey 4 Comments

Throwback to last fall’s visit to an apple orchard and corn maze in North Carolina.

One of my highlights from this past week was meeting Nikki, her mom, and her children for supper on Monday night. Nikki and I first connected through our blogs. (You can check out her blog here.) This was the second time Nikki and I have been able to get together in person, and it was fun to meet more of her family on this visit!

We also had one of those “last” moments for our daughter as she navigates her senior year of high school. On Thursday, she worked her last home game with the girls’ volleyball team. She started out as the team manager, and for the last two years has kept the score book. They did make it to the state tournament, so she’ll get one more trip with the team next weekend!

And since I’m rambling, here’s another interesting thing that happened this week. Between my husband and I, I’m normally the more adventurous eater, especially when it comes to trying new, healthy foods. However, on Thursday night, I served what was basically spaghetti sauce over spaghetti squash noodles for supper. It about did me in. Not sure if it was the smell of the squash or the texture or just the idea of this being so against what real spaghetti should taste like, but I don’t plan to ever put that combination in my mouth again. My husband, however, went back for seconds!

Now on to a few good posts I’ve read recently.

Kari reminds us that Mean is Not Funny.

Lori shares 10 Ways to Prepare Your Child for Real Life.

With our temperatures finally cooling off a little here, I’m ready to add a few items to my closet. I’ll keep in mind Kay’s 5 Shopping Mistakes We All Make…And How to Stop.

Even though she directed it toward homeschoolers, I thought Brooke’s list in The Ultimate Homeschoolers Gift Guide had great gift ideas for any kids.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

When You’re Parenting a Teen Girl, and It’s One of Those Days

October 18, 2018 by Tracey 7 Comments

I am NOT an expert on teenage girls. In fact, I don’t know that I’m much of an expert on anything, except maybe finding the best desserts at a buffet (ha!)

We have our rough days around here just as often as anyone else does. But I hope that after parenting one daughter through five of the seven teenage years, and another through three, that I’ve learned a little something.

I do know that each child provides a very different parenting experience. Their personalities play a big part in how much they challenge authority, how they respond to correction, and pretty much every other part of the process!

Some are easy-going, naturally want to please, and seek to avoid conflict. They may seem easier to parent, but I think they sometimes cover up what’s going on inside. Other daughters put it all out there, never leaving you to wonder what’s going on with them!

As a mom, I continue to be a work in progress. But here are a few helpful ideas I’ve discovered along the way.

Five tips for parenting a teen daughter when it's one of those tough days.

1. Wait for a calm moment to address the issue.

In the heat of the moment, when emotions run high, I’m likely to say something I shouldn’t. And my daughter’s not going to be listening to my advice/correction, because her focus is totally on how unfair I’m being, how her life is falling apart, etc. (You get the idea.)

This waiting thing goes against my nature, because I want to settle things right away and move on. But over and over (I’m a slow learner), I’ve found out that nothing productive comes of jumping right in to the discussion. Better to let both of us take time to process the situation. When she’s calm, she’s much more likely to think like an adult, and something productive can be accomplished.

2. Know that being the parent isn’t always fun or easy.

Sometimes it means saying “no,” and being very unpopular with your daughter for a while. Other times, it may mean insisting she follow through with something she doesn’t want to do.

I don’t want to sound all “gloom and doom,” because there are so many great parts of having a teenage daughter. But the advice you’ve probably heard before is true…your child needs a parent, not another friend.

3. Realize that she’s listening to you more than you think she is.

How do I know this? Because she’ll bring up something I said when I thought she was paying no attention to me whatsoever. That can be good – as in, “Wow, you really are learning something!” Or it can go the other way – as in, “Oh, no, you really did hear me say that!”

4. Understand that she can get just as overwhelmed by stress and busyness as you do.

Our teenagers have a lot going on in their lives. Between school, sports, work, and other extra-curricular activities, our daughters can get very busy. Not only that, they’re learning to drive (a huge responsibility!) and beginning to make decisions about their future.

They may have high expectations for themselves, and not meeting those goals can bring disappointment. It’s not an excuse for disrespect or poor behavior, but make sure you try to understand all that they’re dealing with on a daily basis.

5. Recognize that only God can change her heart.

If you ever lived under the illusion that you were in control of your child’s life, now is the time you realize you have none. The older and more independent they become, the more you realize that they have the power to make good choices or bad ones.

So pray. This is what I need to remember every. single. day. We’re neck-deep in the season of college choice and “what should I major in.” I’m not arrogant enough to think that I know God’s will for her life. It is for Him to do His work in her heart… and for her to allow it.

I can’t soften her heart any more than I can control her emotions. Only the Holy Spirit can do that. And honestly, isn’t that a relief??? While I have a responsibility to teach her about our Savior, and to train her in His commandments, it’s the work of God to grow her in her faith.

For you mamas who’ve already parented a teenage girl through a few rough days, I’d love to hear your perspective. This non-expert mama enjoys hearing from those who’ve walked this road before me!

Don’t Be a Fool: 5 Things to Avoid if You Want to Be Wise

October 11, 2018 by Tracey 3 Comments

During my morning Bible time, I usually read a chapter from Proverbs. A couple of months ago, I decided to be more focused in my reading. Every time I came to a verse that talked about a fool, I wrote it down in my journal. I wanted to see what it said a fool did – or didn’t do – so that I could hopefully avoid being one!

While I knew that Proverbs talked a lot about fools, I didn’t actually realize how much until I did this exercise. I found it helpful, and thought I would share some of what I found with you – since I’m sure you don’t want to be a fool either!

So here are five things to avoid if you want to be not foolish, but wise.

1. Take advice or correction from no one.

We get this first one right out of the gate, in Proverbs 1:7.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

This makes perfect sense. How can you avoid foolishness if you won’t listen to wisdom? Proverbs 1:22 says something similar.

“How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity? and the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge?”

Wise people recognize that there are many situations in life that they don’t know how to handle. God’s Word is our first resource in those cases. Beyond that, look for wise advice from other people. Hopefully your pastor could be a help here. In marriage or parenting, ask counsel from someone who’s ahead of you in the journey, and seems to be living in a Christ-like way.

It’s only the foolish who think they’ve got it all under control, and don’t want to glean wisdom from anyone else.

2. Talk a lot about anything and everything.

Later on, I’d like to write a post on the verses in Proverbs that talk about the fool’s mouth. But for now, here are a few examples.

“The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.” Proverbs 15:2

I like the use of the word “poureth.” A fool’s mouth doesn’t just trickle out foolishness; it comes gushing out. And we know from Proverbs 18:7 that it’s not helpful words we’re talking about.

“A fool’s mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul.”

We all know that our tongue can get us in a world of trouble. Sometimes we can be wise just by keeping our mouth closed.

“A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” Proverbs 29:11

Don’t say everything you know. Before they speak, a wise person will ask themselves those famous questions, “Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?”

3. Enjoy your pet sins.

A fool wants to hang on to his sin.

“The desire accomplished is sweet to the soul: but it is abomination to fools to depart from evil.” Proverbs 13:19

The foolish man hates to walk away from evil. He’s not willing to deny himself in order to overcome his sin. Proverbs 1:23 goes even further when it says,

^“It is as sport to a fool to do mischief: but a man of understanding hath wisdom.”

He sins without regret or remorse, even finds pleasure in it. If we want to be wise, how tender our hearts need to be in asking the Holy Spirit to reveal sin in our lives. Then we can ask forgiveness, and seek God’s strength to overcome it.

4. Have a short fuse.

In other words, get angry quickly.

“He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly…” Proverbs 14:17

Haven’t we all fallen into this trap? We lose our temper, and then we say or do something really stupid. It can be with a co-worker, our spouse, or one of our children. Proverbs 12:16 addresses this, too.

“A fool’s wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covereth shame.”

If everybody around you knows when you’re angry, it might be time to work on some self-control. (Preaching to myself here for sure!) We need the Holy Spirit’s help to have self-control, which I think we’d all agree is the mark of a wise person.

5. Be proud.

This kind of goes along with number one. If you refuse to accept instruction from others, you qualify as proud. But look what it says in Proverbs 14:16.

“A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil: but the fool rageth, and is confident.”

Wise people discern that there’s trouble ahead, and avoid it at all costs. But the fool thinks, “I’ve got this!” He’s arrogant and self-confident. His way is the best way. Proverbs 12:15 says,

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.”

I love that we read in James 4:6 that God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. A wise man knows he is weak, but goes to God for discernment and strength to overcome his weakness.

Maybe we can all take what I learned about a fool from Proverbs, and make decisions in our lives that will cause us to be wise!

Saturday Salutes ~ Bad Relationships, a New Podcast, and a Dessert Recipe

October 6, 2018 by Tracey 4 Comments

Our girls are out of town, so last night my husband and I had a date night to Blossom Cafe, a favorite spot in downtown Charleston.

If you have tween or teen girls, have them read this post from Kari ~ Girls, Don’t Settle for Bad Relationships. It’s a good mom-read, too!

Chelsia shares What We Can Learn from Mary & Martha.

Brooke has Movie Review Sites for Parents. (My favorite is Common Sense Media. I like that they include specific details about the positive and negative elements of the movie in their reviews.)

Crystal Paine (aka Money Saving Mom) recently started a podcast. I enjoyed episode 3 this week, The Secret to Being a Happier Mom with Jeannie Cunnion.

I’ll be making this Milk and Cookies Icebox Cake soon. Sounds easy and looks delicious!!

Most popular post from September ~ When You’re in the Pit, Look Forward to Your New Song.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

When You Have the Best, Why Would You Want Anything Else?

October 4, 2018 by Tracey 4 Comments

Chocolate – do you like milk or dark?

I listen to a podcast where the host often asks her guests that question. When I was younger, milk chocolate was my favorite, but I admit to having developed a taste for really good dark chocolate as I’ve gotten older.

Yes, it’s usually the expensive stuff, but now the lower quality chocolate pales in comparison. Plus it only takes a little bit of the costly stuff to satisfy that chocolate craving (theoretically, that is!) I’d rather have a small portion of the best stuff than a whole pile of the other.

I just started Kelly Minter’s Bible study titled No Other Gods: The Unrivaled Pursuit of Christ. Before she dives into the first of the ten commandments, she backs up and looks at the previous verse. I’d never analyzed Exodus 20 this way, and her approach got me thinking.

No other god can compare to the one true God.

The first commandment says, “Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” That statement comes in verse three. Verse one lets us know it’s God who is speaking. So what comes in verse two, right before we get the list of the ten commandments?

“I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.”

Before He lays down the law that the Israelites are to follow, issues the commands they are to obey, God reminds them of Who He is and what He’s done.

It hasn’t been long since these people were freed from slavery. They’ve witnessed the ten plagues and the parting of the Red Sea, miracles that could only be attributed to God. He brought them out of Egypt powerfully, and with great purpose and intent. His plan not only got them out of their oppressive situation, but also had the Egyptians lavishing them with parting gifts of silver and gold! [Exodus 12:35-36]

In Exodus 20:2, God lays down His claim for being the only God they are to worship. He declares that He is their God, their deliverer.

We may think that, having witnessed extreme miracles, they would just automatically follow God. We may scoff at how shallow their faith was, since we know from further reading how quickly they turned to a golden calf or a god named Baal as the object of their worship.

Yet let’s look at our own lives. We have God’s Word that we can hold in our hands. His salvation is available to all who will trust Jesus as their Savior. But when a little trouble comes, how quickly we look to our own devices to solve a problem. We don’t actually build an idol, but we so often look to something else to deliver us.

Maybe we think that if we just had this or that we’d be content, happy. We give our devotion, our time, and our emotional energy to our family or our work or our own comfort. These can all be good things. But they’re not the one thing, the person we are to worship.

In my own life, my husband and I are trying to help guide our daughter as she makes decisions about college and career plans for next year. Being the planner that I am, I want to know yesterday how that’s all going to work out. Uncertainty makes me nervous.

But I can’t worship at the altar of control or security. Nor can I make what I want for her my idol. I have to trust God to work in her life, and bring both she and us to a place of peace about her future plans.

And what a neat thing it will be for her to experience God leading her! I want her to be able to look back, like the Israelites could, and say, “Look what God did for me! Look how He brought me to the place where I need to be.”

So why would we want any other god but the one true God? He commands us to have no other god before Him, and He has that right because of all He has done and continues to do for us.

When you realize that you have the best – the only all-powerful One who can save and deliver – you can confidently worship Him, and set all others aside.

Saturday Salutes ~ Friendship Seasons and the Books I Read in September

September 29, 2018 by Tracey 5 Comments

My decorating-challenged self found this cute pumpkin for our front porch in the At Home store.

Kristen shares Five Truths to Ease the Changing Season of Friendships.

Tracy lists Six Mistakes to Avoid When You Start Organizing.

Alisa Childers wrote a thought-provoking review in Girl, Wash Your Face? What Rachel Hollis Gets Right and Wrong.

I really like shrimp and grits, so I tried Rachael Ray’s Creamed Corn with Sausage and Shrimp for supper on Thursday night. Y’all. It was SO good!!

I read two non-fiction and two fiction books this month.

The Tech-Wise Family by Andy Crouch was a great book dealing with setting boundaries around technology in our homes. He shared many practical tips that have worked for his family. I think this book is helpful for all families, and especially those who are just introducing technology to their children. Having a strategy beforehand is key to not allowing devices to take over your family.

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp is a book I’ve read several times before. It’s a wonderful re-read when I feel I’ve lost the sense of gratefulness that I want to characterize my life.

The first fiction book I read was A Time to Stand by Robert Whitlow. I’ve enjoyed some of his other books, but this one was seemed a little slow. He didn’t develop the legal side of the story as much, which is what I typically like about his books

The Illusionist’s Apprentice by Kristy Cambron is about a young woman who was an apprentice of Harry Houdini. This was not my favorite book by this author (that honor goes to The Lost Castle), but it was still an enjoyable read. I’ve now read all of her books, and am awaiting the release of Castle on the Rise (second in the Lost Castle series) in February.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

7 Tips for Making Each Day Your Masterpiece

September 26, 2018 by Tracey 3 Comments

A common conversation I find myself having with family and friends is about how quickly time is passing.

With the threat of Hurricane Florence recently, my husband and daughters were off of work and school for almost a week. Looking back at that week when it was over, my husband and I talked about what we did (and didn’t do!) with that unexpected “free” time. He shared with me this quote from legendary basketball coach John Wooden.

“Make each day your masterpiece.”

I’ve been thinking about that ever since. It’s so easy to just let a day go by without being intentional about how you spend it. We can purposely fill our hours with what’s important to us, or we can just let the day drift by with no purpose.

Obviously there are certain tasks that must be done. But even in those daily must-do’s, we can choose to focus on making the hours meaningful.

Here are seven ways we can work to create a masterpiece each day.

1. Remember that a masterpiece is made up of many small strokes. Here and there we have days with big, bold wins. You get a promotion at work, receive a random, heartfelt note of love and appreciation from your teenager, or finally meet a longstanding personal goal.

But most days are full of lots of little strokes. Things like rocking a baby to sleep, slipping a love note into your husband’s pocket, or lighting a candle while you clean up the kitchen after supper. Maybe you listened to a play-by-play account of your son’s school day, played Candy Land for half an hour, or wrote out a Bible verse to post on the refrigerator door.

None of these tasks seems like a big deal. But put them all together, and those little moments become the building blocks of a life well-lived.

2. Do your best at every task you undertake. Whether it’s making the bed, packing lunches, or washing the car, do the best you can at every thing you try. Colossians 3:23 says, “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men…”

I’m not a five-star chef nor the most efficient housekeeper, but I can get a healthy meal on the table and run that vacuum cleaner with the best of ’em!

3. Realize that God’s given you the skill to produce something beautiful. He gave you a spouse to encourage and made you the parent of your children. You are His creation and lovely in His sight. Yes, you will sin and fail, but He will forgive and restore.

You were created for a purpose. As long as you’re here on the earth, there is something meaningful God wants you to do.

4. Be kind. A masterpiece can be marred by ugly strokes. One day last week, I got angry when another car cut me off in traffic. I was frustrated and blew my horn – then hoped no one I knew was around because I was so embarrassed! I’m not saying there’s never a time to blow your horn, but I just let my frustration get the best of me.

We teach our children Ephesians 4: 28, and it sounds so simple. “And be ye kind one to another…” But I definitely need the Holy Spirit’s help to live that out every day.

5. Take time for God. It sounds so basic, but isn’t getting to know God better about the most important thing we can do today? Carve some time out of your day to find a truth about God to meditate on.

I’ve started using a daily audio Bible app on my phone so that I can hear the Bible read out loud. Since I’m already in the habit of listening to podcasts, this fits right in to my day. It’s just another way to take in God’s Word.

6. Use your time wisely. I don’t think this means every moment has to be full of stuff to do. It can be extremely life-giving to sit on the porch and watch the sunset. But surfing the Internet mindlessly or sitting in front of a television for hours can leave you feeling empty, knowing that you wasted time.

Just be intentional with the time you’ve been given. Ephesians 5:15-16 reminds us, “See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.“

7. Focus on right now. You can’t change the past. You can’t foretell the future. Set goals and make plans, but do what you need to do today to grow in your walk with God and show love to others.

God gives us a blank canvas each morning. Let’s fill it today with beautiful brush strokes, for His honor and glory.

Saturday Salutes ~ Kind People, Fall Decor, and the Best Candle

September 15, 2018 by Tracey 4 Comments

Happy Saturday!! Thanks so much to all of you who’ve prayed for us this week as we waited to see what Hurricane Florence would do in our area.

I took this video yesterday morning. I made sure to fit in a walk outside before the rain came. Cabin fever is a real thing, lol!

I’m actually posting this on Friday afternoon, in case we lose electricity later. So far it’s just a breezy, overcast day, but we expect to get lots of rain beginning this evening. We’ve got all the necessities in place, and hopefully the storm will pass without any real damage in our area. Trust that all of you have remained safe this week!

And now for some helpful posts, plus a new product that’s making our home smell so good!

Rebecca shares The Do’s and Don’ts of Helping Someone Who’s (Scary) Sick.

Becky points out The One Thing That Sets Kind People Apart.

Shaunti tells us Why Your Man Checks Out and Shuts Down.

Joy has 12 Creative and Cozy Dollar Store Fall Decor Ideas.

Fall weather hasn’t arrived here yet, but I’m craving all the fall-inspired food. Think I’ll try these Pumpkin Pie Crescents soon!

I’d gotten to the point where I rarely burned candles in our home. But while browsing a Bath and Body Works store in Water Tower Place during our summer trip to Chicago, I discovered this In-Tents Coffee scented candle. Didn’t want to put that heavy candle into my suitcase for the flight back, so I bought one after we got home. It’s amazing!! While I don’t drink coffee, I’ve always liked how it smells. This candle doesn’t have a sweet, overpowering scent; it just smells like freshly-brewed coffee. Getting ready to order myself another one!

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

When You’re in the Pit, Look Forward to Your New Song

September 12, 2018 by Tracey 8 Comments

There are certain ways you can tell you’re getting old. From knees that audibly creak when I first walk across the floor in the morning to a new wrinkle I spotted on my face last month, there’s no denying it.

While trying to find some music on Alexa recently, I realized that the songs from my past tend to date me as well. I used to think of “oldies” as the tunes my parents listened to when they were teenagers, back in the 50’s and 60’s. However, considering that I went through my teen years during the 80’s, my music might now be considered “oldies” as well, especially to my own teenage daughters. Somehow that hurts!!

Today I wanted to look at how we can get a new song. Maybe life has drained us of our old song. Trials and difficulties might be keeping our voices silent. But whatever song we’ve had in the past, or how quiet our soul feels today, God can give us a new one.

This passage from Psalm 40 talks about getting that new song

“I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.” ~Psalm 40:1-3

1. It starts with waiting.

There it is, y’all. It seems inescapable, that patiently waiting part that’s so hard to do in our flesh. We want right-now solutions and instant relief. But David says he waited patiently. He didn’t get annoyed with delays or anxious about the problems in front of him. He was calm, and didn’t complain. Ouch! I’ll confess that my waiting doesn’t always look like that.

2. We call out to the Lord.

In our waiting, we cry out to God. Yes, He already knows our situation. But when we come to the place where we recognize that we need His deliverance, we can look up to Him and seek His help.

3. The pit is horrible.

Your pit may be different than mine. The pit could be divorce, sickness, a lost friendship, a rebellious child, thwarted dreams, financial troubles, job failure, a terminal diagnosis, or a death in the family. It can be a dirty, muddy, sticky place in life that we desperately need to be rescued from.

4. God delivers us.

In this life and for eternity, only God can save us. Not only does He bring us up out of the pit, but He also puts us on a firm foundation. He sets us on a path back to safety.

5. He puts the new song in our mouth.

As he lifts us out of the pit to a place of safety, God gives us a new song to sing. No matter what our old song was, we now have a new one. God has once again been faithful. And this leads right into the next one.

6. The new song is all about praising Him.

The pit was hard and dark and deep, but God rescued us. No matter what we just came through, He is worthy of our praise.

7. Our new song is a testimony to others.

God brought us up. We waited, we called, He delivered. We can use our pit experience to teach others about trusting Him. As we’re willing, God can use what we went through to glorify Himself.

Whether you’re in the waiting, in the pit, or up on top of the rock, know that God gives the new song. And remember, this new song…it’s a song that we wouldn’t have gotten without the waiting and the pit. It’s even sweeter because we remember what we came through to get the song. The learning to wait, to trust, and to obey makes the new song a sweet melody that glorifies God and testifies to others.

Saturday Salutes ~ What Matters as a Mom, No Date Nights, and Fall Decorating

September 8, 2018 by Tracey 4 Comments

Elizabeth says Now I Can See What Really Mattered as a Mom.

Debra explains that You and Your Spouse DO NOT Need a Weekly Date Night Out.

Lots of good parenting help in a recent podcast from Focus on the Family. Guest Cynthia Tobias talks about Surviving the Strong-Willed Child Part 1 and Part 2.

I enjoy following Sarah from Little Vintage Nest on Instagram. This week she did a quick trip to Michael’s and shared five really easy ideas for fall decorating. And trust me, if I say they’re easy, they’re easy!!

Stacy’s Slow Cooker Beef and Noodles sounds like the perfect dish to serve whenever we finally get some fall weather here!

Shared this on Instagram this week.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!