Girls To Grow

Nurturing moms in their walk with God

Saturday Salutes ~ a Joyful Outlook, Fall Decor, and the Books I Read in September

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Kari shares 5 Things to Remember in Hard Times.

Betsy gives us 3 Truths When You Need a More Joyful Outlook.

Joy tells us How to Decorate for Fall on a Budget.

These Pumpkin Spice Krispie Treats sound like they would be a delicious treat for fall!

I read a good number of books this month. These first two were non-fiction.

If you’re looking to create new habits of any kind, I highly recommend Atomic Habits by James Clear. He outlines a very practical process for making small changes that can have big results in our lives.

Covert Cows and Chick-fil-A: How Faith, Cows, and Chicken Built an Iconic Brand by Steve Robinson was an excellent book on leadership and company culture. Robinson is the former Chief Marketing Officer at Chick-fil-A.

During our slower-than-normal week as we waited for Hurricane Dorian, I re-read 6 of the Betsy~Tacy books by Maud Hart Lovelace. This was my favorite book series as a child! I started with Heaven to Betsy, which covers her freshman year of high school, and read through the last one, Betsy’s Wedding.

I read another book by Laura Frantz, The Frontiersman’s Daughter. I’ve read a good many of her books over the last couple of months.

A few pages into Imposter by Davis Bunn, I realized that I’d read this book before. However, I didn’t remember how it ended, so I read it all the way through again – and it was worth it!

Finally, I’ve been listening to this song often since a fellow mom-of-a-college-freshman introduced me to it a few weeks ago. And yes, it can be tear-inducing!!!

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

This post may contain affiliate links, which means that if you click on a product link and make a purchase, I’ll receive a small percentage from any sales.  This does not affect your price in any way.

It’s Our Choice: Brood and Get Bitter or Let Go and Find Freedom

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If you’ve ever wondered whether other Christian women struggle in their walk with God like you do at times, today’s post will reassure you that I, for one, certainly do!

Recently I was in a situation where someone said something that rubbed me the wrong way. I was a little surprised at first and didn’t react outwardly. I just kind of sat with those words for a few minutes.

Now here’s what typically happens in circumstances like this (which could include any type of perceived hurt or injustice – maybe even directed toward my children – that gets me all worked up.) That offense gets into my mind and I go over it. and over it. and over it.

I think of what they said, and how I could have responded and how I’m going to act or what I’ll say the next time I see them. Or how I won’t say anything right now, but I’ll wait and bring it up later. Or how I won’t say anything at all, but for the next week, I’ll silently hold it against that person.

Well, that’s exactly what started to happen. My mind went into action and I began brooding over how I felt offended.

But I also began to realize that repeatedly hashing this over in my mind was not healthy. Dwelling on it was only going to make me more hurt and angry.

Out of nowhere (or so it seemed) in the midst of my hurt feelings, this passage, spoken by Jesus, came to mind. (Not in these exact words, but in my own summarized version.)

“Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.” [Matthew 5:38-39]

No, I didn’t get a slap in the face. But the principle that spoke to me here was don’t be so quick to take offense. And beyond that, don’t seek to hurt the other person in return.

While I was provoked by what had been said, in a spirit of grace, I could choose to let it go. After all, how many times have I said or done things that offended God? Many, many times. Yet He forgives.

The Beatitudes at the beginning of Matthew 5 say blessed are the meek. Was I going to choose meekness or was I going to stand up for my own injured feelings?

I followed that up with Philippians 4:8. Allowing this hurt to fester in my mind was certainly not pure or lovely, virtuous or praiseworthy. Rather it was filling my mind with self-centered, resentful thoughts.

So did I immediately let it go? Honestly, it took me a few minutes. And it involved the realization that my human nature likes to hold a grudge and focus on my “offended-ness.” The “old man” that lives inside of me has a lot of power. But my “new man” knows the freedom I can live in if I will let it go. Otherwise, I leave room for a “root of bitterness” to take hold. [Hebrews 12:15]

However, I must have the Holy Spirit’s help, because I don’t feel strong enough to do it on my own. And I believe I had His help in this particular struggle. He reminded me of those verses to convict me that harping on what had happened was wrong.

For the rest of the day, I felt pretty good about this whole situation. I felt like I’d gained a spiritual victory.

But can you believe it? That night as I lay in bed, here came that disagreeable thought again! I had to fight it off once more.

That whole passage in Ephesians 6 which tells us we don’t wrestle against flesh and blood is so true. It’s unseen enemies that can slip in and defeat us. So we have to constantly arm ourselves with truth, righteousness, faith, and the Word of God.

I wish I could say I’ve learned my lesson, but this is a constant struggle for me. How vital it is for all of us to bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ [2 Corinthians 10:5]. May we all choose to listen to the Holy Spirit’s prompting when our flesh wants to do its own thing!

Related posts:

Saturday Salutes ~ Powerful Prayers, Verse Mapping, and Habits for Well-Adjusted Kids

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We’re having some amazing fall weather here in South Carolina!! We’ll be back to ninety degrees next week, but we plan to get outside and enjoy the cooler temperatures today.

Deb tells us How to Pray Powerful Prayers: 4 Questions that Will Change the Way You Pray Forever.

Arabah explains one of her Bible study methods in Verse Mapping for Beginners: How to Unlock the Scriptures.

I’m preparing for the parenting years just ahead of me by reading Deb’s advice in How to Love Your Adult Children Really Well.

There’s a reminder of some helpful parenting principles in Boundaries, Routines, and Early Bedtimes: 13 Habits that Raise Well-Adjusted Kids.

A Neutral Fall Centerpiece is featured in an older post of Sarah’s, but it would certainly work for your fall decor this year!

It’s just about time to make my favorite Pumpkin Pie Bread! [Note: It’s not part of the recipe, but I often stir in a cup or so of chocolate chips before putting the batter in the pan to bake.]

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

8 Things to Teach Our Children about Good Sportsmanship

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Since we’re sports fans, it’s a fun time of year at our house! We enjoy watching college and pro football on television. Our younger daughter currently cheers for the boys’ soccer team at her school, and our older daughter is playing intramural soccer at college.

It seems like part of sports these days is players demonstrating poor sportsmanship. However, it’s so refreshing to see men and women who conduct themselves with dignity and respect for others on the field or court. I think we all hope that those athletes are the ones our kids will look up to!

Even if your children aren’t involved in organized sports, they still have the chance to be good sports. Whether they’re playing Candy Land with their sister or tag with the neighborhood kids in the back yard, all of our children have opportunities to learn sportsmanship. 

We as parents can step in and teach our children how to play fair and how to act properly whether they win or lose. Most of us have at least a bit of a competitive streak – and it’s always fun to win!  But learning how to handle the disappointment of losing is part of helping our children mature.

Below I’ve listed eight lessons we can work through with our kids to help them learn to be good sports. It may take some time and patience, but hopefully, it will make the games they play more enjoyable for everyone!

1. Follow the rules of the game. 

Don’t take a shortcut or cheat in order to put yourself or your team ahead. It’s only a fair competition when all the players abide by the rules.

2. Play your best the entire game. 

Even if you or your team is losing by a large margin, don’t give up or quit participating in the game. Give it all you’ve got until the game is over. (Maybe Monopoly is the exception…)

3. Never make fun of others who don’t play well or who are just learning the game. 

Try to be patient and help your teammates or other players as much as you can. We’ve all been beginners at some point!

4. Take turns (aka don’t make the game all about you).

Allow others to go first. Don’t be so bossy that no one wants to play with you…that kind of defeats the purpose.

5. Respect the coach or instructor. 

Listen quietly when he/she is talking and then follow instructions. While we’re on this topic, I would include referees and umpires here as well. And yes, this applies to us parents! As fans, we can set the example in this area. (I admit to not always doing this well!)

6. Maintain self-control even when there’s a missed call or a bad play.

It’s the basketball player running down the court with his arms up because he thinks he was fouled and it wasn’t called…while the guy he should be guarding scores a basket.

Will unfair things happen during a game? Yep. And if there’s a right, official way to protest, that’s fine. Otherwise, just recognize that sometimes these things happen, and move on.

7. If you lose, congratulate the winner with a right attitude.

This one’s hard, and doubly so if your opponent isn’t exactly gracious about winning. But we can’t control how they act, only our response to them.

8. If you win, say “Thank you” when congratulated. 

If others on the opposing team played well, compliment them on their performance. And it’s okay to celebrate, but not in a way that rubs it in the face of your opponent.

I’m not as competitive as some people, but I’m amazed at how involved I get when my daughters are playing sports. I have to remember to keep my attitude right so that I don’t set a bad example for them.

In case you haven’t seen this before, I’m including John Crist’s video where he imitates every high school sports parent. I’ll not say if I recognize myself in any of his comments! (If you’re reading this in email, click here to see the video.)

I hope these eight ideas will help us give our children a good foundation for becoming good sports and enjoying whatever games they choose to participate in. I’d love to hear any thoughts you have on this topic!

Related posts:

3 Reasons You Can Have Hope Today

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Years ago, we had a treadmill in our house. Well, it started out in the house, in a spare bedroom (pre-kids). Then it made its way to a corner of our bedroom, and finally out to the garage before we eventually sold it.

I actually like walking on a treadmill, but these days, it only happens if I have a little downtime during a hotel stay and want to fit in some exercise. And I have to admit that it can get a little monotonous. That belt is just cycling around over and over and over.

Sometimes we might feel that way about life. We get stuck in a rut, doing the same things the same way repeatedly. And we can get discouraged.

But as I was reading my Bible the other day, I found a boost of hope in Psalm 16:11.

“Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”

Here are three reasons this verse can give us hope.

1. We can rest in His guidance.

The first part of the verse says that God will show us the path of life. How thankful we are, most of all, that God has revealed to us the path to eternal life! That’s the most important one we can find. In John 14:6, Jesus tells us that He is the way to the Father, and through Him we find salvation.

Yet I believe God also shows us the path through our life here on earth. The Cambridge Bible commentary says, “‘The path of life’ is not merely a path which leads to life, but one in which life is to be found.”

Through circumstances, open and closed doors, by following principles found in His Word, by being sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading, we can trust God to show us the path in which we should walk. That’s where we’ll find the most satisfaction in this life.

We can have hope because we’re not left to figure out life on our own! God will direct us. “I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.” ~Psalm 32:8

2. We will find joy in His presence.

As Christians, one day we will physically be in his presence in heaven forever. But even now, through prayer and the Holy Spirit that lives in us, we can experience a taste of that joy.

I would relate great joy to how I felt after FaceTiming last week with my daughter who’s away at college. It was exciting to hear that she was doing well and to catch up with what’s happening in her life.

But even that joy dims over time. A couple of days later, I wanted another update! However, in Christ’s presence, we can find joy that completely satisfies. What a thought, to be filled to capacity with joy! How that makes me want to spend more time with Him!

3. We can anticipate eternal pleasures.

I don’t know exactly what those eternal pleasures will look like. But when I think of all the pleasures we have here on earth where there is still sin and human nature to contend with, I know they must be wonderful pleasures. Earthly pleasures don’t last, but God has laid up for us an inexhaustible store of everlasting treasures.

This reminds me of Colossians 3 which is the memory passage I’m working on right now. In the first verse, we’re told to seek those things which are above, where Christ sits on the right hand of God.

It’s easy to get discouraged if we only focus on the here and now. We have to purposely set our minds on heaven and the glories that await the children of God there. We can’t even grasp the undending delights of discovering God for eternity.

So if you need an infusion of hope today, meditate on these three truths from Psalm 16:11. God guides us, we find joy in His presence, and He offers us pleasures with him forevermore.

Related posts:

Saturday Salutes ~ Enemies of Faith, Everyday Rituals with Kids, and Care Packages

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Hope your week has been a good one! It’s been a fairly quiet week here, which has been nice. Enjoy these helpful posts I’ve come across recently!

Carolina shares The Enemies of Faith and How to Overcome Them.

Kristen writes For All the Parents Who Don’t Know What They Are Doing (So, Basically Everyone)

Christie has 10 Everyday Rituals That Mean a Lot to Kids.

Jenn has 9 Psalms to Read with Your Kids at Bedtime.

I immediately pinned this post of 15 Adorably Unique College Care Packages You Can Order on Etsy. I didn’t even realize this was a thing! Some of these care packages would work for more than just a college student who’s away from home.

These Chicken Bacon Ranch Pull Apart Rolls will be making an appearance on our menu soon!

This week I’m reading Steve Robinson’s book Covert Cows and Chick-fil-A: How Faith, Cows, and Chicken Built an Iconic Brand. It’s an excellent read…except I’m frequently craving a CFA chicken sandwich!!

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

This post may contain affiliate links, which means that if you click on a product link and make a purchase, I’ll receive a small percentage from any sales.  This does not affect your price in any way.

13 Simple Ways to Encourage Our Children

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With our oldest daughter far away at college, I don’t often get immediate feedback on how she’s doing. Is her day going smoothly or could she use a little cheering up? Did she ace that test or is she struggling to keep up in a certain class?

I certainly pray for her! In a sense, I’m trusting the prompting of the Holy Spirit to know when a card in the mail, a phone call, or a random little gift might be the support that she needs. I believe that God can direct the timing of those things to arrive just when she could use a special blessing!

We can all use a dash of encouragement from time to time – and that certainly includes our children. Here are thirteen simple ideas we can use to help make their day just a little brighter.

Check out this list of thirteen little things we can do to encourage our children.

1. Tuck a note into their lunchbox or book bag. Write a sweet thought or a short joke to make them smile. Kristen has links to all kinds of lunch box jokes here. Even my teen girls enjoy receiving a good joke! (And I’m following my own advice; I put a note in the mail to my college girl yesterday.)

2. Give them a big hug for no particular reason at all. This one’s sometimes easier when they’re younger, but no matter their age, sneak one in when you can!

3. When you drop them off at school, tell them that you’ll be praying for them today. Or if they’re older and have a cell phone, text at some point during the day that you’re praying for them. (And then, of course, follow through!)

4. Put a small treat on their bed for them to find when they get home at the end of the day. It could be their favorite candy or just a fun little something you picked up at a dollar store.

5. Smile at them often. I thought this would just be a natural habit, but I find that it isn’t necessarily, at least for me. Sometimes I have to actually make a conscious effort to smile!

6. Make eye contact and give your child your full attention when she’s telling you something. Sometimes we really don’t want to stop what we’re doing to hear about who did what on the playground today, but our children feel valued when they’re listened to.

7, Praise them for a task well done. We shouldn’t go overboard and throw a party every time he puts his toys away, but we all like to be commended for a job well done. I think this is especially effective if they took initiative and did something they weren’t asked to do.

8. When they are within earshot, tell another adult something good that your child has done. Let them hear you speak positively about them.

9. If you see them struggling with a task, offer your help. Some children want to do things all by themselves – and that can be good! – but if you sense they’re getting frustrated, offer to lend a hand.

10. Watch for an area in their character where you see growth and spend a few minutes sharing how proud you are of their progress. At one point, a daughter of ours was a procrastinator in lots of areas. As I saw her focus on getting things done on time, I tried to make sure to notice her efforts and commend her for them.

11. Willingly do something they ask you to do – stop working and play a game, help them find a lost item, etc. You can’t always drop everything you’re doing, but when you can, make that choice.

12. Allow them to help you with a project you’re working on that they’re interested in – cooking, cleaning, scrapbooking, or other chores or hobbies. It may slow you down in the moment, but it can lead to some sweet memories.

13. Every so often, allow them a special privilege, such as staying up late, having two helpings of dessert, or taking a day off from chores. Just a little change in routine can make them feel special.

I want to be mindful of encouraging my daughters regularly. And what a blessing it is, as they get older, to find that sometimes they’re the ones to encourage me!

Related posts:

Saturday Salutes ~ Meditation, Growing in Busy Seasons, and Change

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Our week centered around Hurricane Dorian. My daughter was out of school all week and my husband’s office was closed, so we spent lots of time at home together.

Thursday we had winds around 40mph and plenty of rain. We lost electricity for about six hours. When it was over, there was small debris in the yard and a few branches down, but that was it.

We’re very thankful that there was no significant damage here, but know that many suffered great loss due to the hurricane. Our thoughts and prayers are with those families.

Here are the posts I found to highlight this week.

Kay shares a very practical method for meditation that I want to use myself in Why and How to Meditate on Scripture.

Jennifer gives advice on How to Be a Godly Woman in a Modern World.

Brianna tells us How to Grow in the Busy Seasons.

As we headed down to Florida a couple of weekends ago to drop our oldest daughter off at college, my sister sent me Deena’s post Change and the Unchangeable. It was one of the best things I’ve read about sending your child to college.

I enjoyed reading through these 15 Easy Tips for a More Inviting Home.

Today we’ll just be over here getting ready for what will hopefully be a “normal” week ahead! Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

3 Ways We Might Be Vain (and it doesn’t have to do with how you look)

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What comes to mind when you hear the word “vain?” We might picture a teenage girl (or a middle-aged woman, for that matter) primping in front of a mirror. She’s making sure her hair looks just right or that her outfit is perfectly arranged. Her focus is totally on her outward appearance.

It could also be a conceited co-worker who’s constantly telling you how great he is. Or that mom on social media who posts every. single. detail. about her perfect child.

But there’s another definition of the word vain and that’s what I want to explore today.

In 2 Kings 17:15, we read about the children of Israel.

“And they rejected His statutes and His covenant…and His testimonies…and they followed vanity, and became vain, and went after the heathen that were round about them, concerning whom the Lord had charged them, that they should not do like them.“

According to this verse, these people had two issues. They rejected God’s way and they followed the way of the world around them.

It’s pretty plain what it means for us to reject God’s way. His Word tells us what we need to do. It’s up to us whether we choose to obey or not.

But I was a little bit intrigued by the second part of the verse. It says that the Israelites “followed vanity, and became vain.” In this case, some good synonyms for vanity are fleeting, empty, worthless, useless, meaningless, having no real value, and foolish. So they followed after these types of things…and then that’s the type of people they became.

I doubt we want any of those words to describe us! But do we ever follow after vanity? I would have to admit that I do. I allow myself to get caught up in things that are a waste of time.

As I considered how I might be vain, I came up with three specific areas. It’s interesting that in all three of these areas, we can look great on the outside, but have nothing of value on the inside. There are certainly more ways I may be vain, but these make a good place to start evaluating myself!

Here are three areas of our lives where we might be doing what looks good, but be empty on the inside.

1. We are empty in our words.

Psalm 12:2 says, “They speak vanity every one with his neighbor: with flattering lips and with a double heart do they speak.” There are three issues in this verse – foolish talk, insincere praise, and speaking with a hidden motive. How often do we find ourselves in conversations that include one of these?

There are many verses dealing with how we should use our tongue, but Proverbs 31:26 is one of my favorites. “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” How happy I would be if that’s how my speech was characterized!

2. We are empty in our thoughts.

According to Psalm 94:11, “The Lord knoweth the thoughts of man, that they are vanity.” I have thoughts swirling around in my head all the time. How many of them fall into the “useless” or “worthless” category? This could certainly include those that center on criticizing others, worry, or fear.

We can follow God’s way and replace those thoughts with better ones. Remember Philippians 4:8? “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.“

3. We are empty in our worship.

Matthew 15:8-9 puts it plainly. “This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.” What a description of how we don’t want to be – making our worship only an outward show and living according to what men teach that is outside of what God’s Word says.

Instead, let’s be true worshippers. “But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.” ~John 4:23 We worship God not for outward show, but from a place of love and gratitude for who He is and what He has done for us.

The children of Israel became like their idols. They lost their relationship with God and had no power against their enemies. Let’s ask God to help us keep our words, thoughts, and worship focused on things that have eternal value.

Related posts:

Saturday Salutes ~ Knowing Your Child’s Heart, Recipes I’m Trying, and the Books I Read in August

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We’re settling into a new rhythm here at home. Our daughter seems to be adjusting well to college, and I get excited when we receive little updates from her.

Here are some helpful posts I’ve found around the Web lately.

Lori shares 10 Ways to Dial into Your Child’s Heart.

Susan gives advice on How to See the Sweetness in the Stress of Caring for Two Generations.

Ayanna lists 5 Simple Steps to Becoming a Better Wife.

I’m always looking for a new recipe to take to breakfast for our Sunday School class. This Croissant Breakfast Egg Casserole is what I’ll be trying next!

I also want to try more sheet pan dinners. Both this Sheet Pan Pasta Bake with Chicken and Kale and this Sheet Pan Pesto Chicken with Asparagus, Tomatoes, and Walnuts will be on our menu soon.

I read one non-fiction book in August, but it was fairly long. First: Sandra Day O’Connor by Evan Thomas was a very interesting read. Now that I have this author’s perspective, I’d like to read a couple of other books about the first woman appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court.

I finished two fiction books, both by Laura Frantz. Lately, I seem to find an author I like and read all his/her books in a row. Both The Colonel’s Lady and Courting Morrow Little were excellent reads.

We’ll be getting lots of house projects done this weekend, including updating and rearranging our younger daughter’s bedroom. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

This post may contain affiliate links, which means that if you click on a product link and make a purchase, I’ll receive a small percentage from any sales.  This does not affect your price in any way.