Girls To Grow

Nurturing moms in their walk with God

An Uncertain Future Reveals Our Need for a Trustworthy God

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Fewer things are harder to deal with in life than uncertainty.

When the doctor realizes that something is wrong with you, but can’t pinpoint a diagnosis. Or your company is laying off workers, but you don’t know which ones. And when there’s coronavirus and regular routines are at a standstill and you don’t know how long it will take for life to get back to normal.

I know for myself that it’s easier to get through something – especially if it’s painful or unpleasant – when there’s a specified ending. Most of us can endure hard things if we see the end in sight. It’s the not knowing when it will be over that shrivels our soul and drains us of hope.

It seems like every morning I wake up looking for good news. And while I haven’t been finding it on Fox News or CNN, I can always find it in God’s Word.

These are the times we as Christians can grow as we trust God and look for encouragement in His Word. We just want it all to be over, but we aren’t in control of that.

On the Big Boo podcast recently, I heard Beth Moore talk about accepting that fact. She said, “I’m never going to be more frustrated than when I have no ideas to give God for how to handle the situation that my family’s in…I don’t get anxiety until I’m out of answers to suggest to Him.” Her point is that God is in control. He is responsible for us and doesn’t need us to help Him figure out a solution to our problems. Our job is simply to trust Him.

Over and over in the Bible, we can find reassurance that our God is worthy of our trust. The passage below is a wonderful reminder of how great our God is.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.” ~Psalm 46:1-3

God is here now.

Yes, He’s the God of the Old Testament, the one who was with Moses and David and Elijah. But He’s also present in March 2020. He knows what each one of us is facing. And He’s in control of everything…which reminds me of the children’s song, “He’s got the whole world in His hands.”

God is our refuge.

He shelters us and keeps us safe. He preserves us. There’s no governor or president or world leader who’s going to be able to take care of us like our God can.

God is our strength.

If you’re like our family, there’s some learning taking place at home…at least attempts at it. One daughter is doing high school classes and one college classes. And our house has people in it all the livelong day.

But, if we’ll ask Him, God can be our strength. He’s our power supply and our support system when we want to lose it with our kids. He gives the grace and patience we need as we adapt to constant change.

God is a help.

Mountains that move and troubled waters don’t impede God helping us. Just because our circumstances change, He doesn’t leave. He assists us and supports us, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and in every way possible.

How do we react to knowing these truths about God? We find out later in the chapter.

“Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.” ~Psalm 46:10-11

That whole “be still” sounds good, but it can be hard to put into practice. If your family is all huddled up at home, it make take some strategizing, but try to find time to be still today. Meditate on Who God is and how faithful He’s been in the past. Then commit to trust Him to see us through these unsettling days.

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Can I Please Send 2020 Back?

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Hear my heart. I know that I am blessed and have innumerable things to be grateful for. I have my health, my family, and a safe place to live. There’s food in the pantry and clean water at my fingertips. Because Jesus is my Savior, I have heaven as my eternal home. Hopefully, you can say the same.

But I think it’s also okay to acknowledge that some seasons are harder than others and that disappointments hurt. Isn’t that why we love the Psalms so much? David is real, raw, and honest about what he’s feeling.

Look at these examples.

“I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears.” ~Psalm 6:6

“Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted.” ~Psalm 25:16

“My soul is also sore vexed: but thou, O Lord, how long?” ~Psalm 6:3

“Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is desolate.” ~Psalm 143:4

God remembers that we are dust. [Psalm 103:14] He made us, and He knows when we’re hurting, confused, afraid, or disappointed.

So with all that behind us, here’s my question.

Lord, can I please send 2020 back??!!

It's less than three months old, but 2020 has already been a trying year.

I realize that it’s not even three months old yet, but some hard things have happened already this year. My dad passed away in January. All of my younger daughter’s fine arts events for this spring are canceled. Today we’re heading to Florida to pick up our older daughter from college, her spring semester now moving to online classes. (She is not thrilled about this development.) Our summer vacation may be in jeopardy.

I know those last few are first-world problems, and those disappointments are small compared to what so many around me are facing. I know sickness and death and quarantine from this virus are real.

But it’s okay to acknowledge that some of these things are difficult for us and to tell God that. He knows how we feel about them anyway.

And after we’ve done that, it’s helpful to remind ourselves that He is in control. I’m glad that He is, and that I’m not. Somewhere in all of this madness, there’s a plan and a purpose. And I know it’s for our good because He is good.

Maybe it’s so we’ll more appreciate our regular routine when it returns. Perhaps we’ll not take our health or our ability to be out and about for granted. Or we’ll be excited about watching sports together again (we will miss you, March Madness!!) And hey, my husband and I get to spend about twenty hours in the car together over two days doing this college trip!

As with all trials, there will be lessons we learn from this experience that wouldn’t have been gained any other way. To trust God – that’s a constant theme for me because I default to self-reliance so easily. We all get to grow our patience as life looks a little different than usual for the next few weeks.

I do know that there’s hope for the future. I have faith in a God who cares and who tells us to cast every one of our cares on Him. [1 Peter 5:7]

One of my very favorite hymns is Day by Day by Lina Sandell. The students at our daughter’s college sang it together at the end of the meeting where the administration announced that they’d be sending students home. No matter what each day brings, it’s message is relevant.

Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.
He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure,
Gives unto each day what He deems best,
Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.

So while 2020 is off to an unexpected, unplanned start for many of us, may we all trust God to provide what only He can in every circumstance we face. Grace, peace, comfort, and joy are all at our disposal as we look to God for strength and encouragement.

8 Truths to Teach Our Teenagers from Proverbs 13

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I get it. As the mom of two teenagers, I know that most teens aren’t sitting around waiting for their mom or dad to drop nuggets of wisdom on them. If yours are, more power to you! But that wouldn’t describe mine.

However, life gives us many opportunities to dole out little bits of advice to our kids. It could be when a teachable situation presents itself in their own life or when they talk to you about choices a friend is making.

For optimum benefit, I wouldn’t suggest sitting down and working through this list all at once! But maybe take one or two of these truths and gently work them into your conversation over time – in the car, over pizza, or during a late-night talking session.

1. Be teachable.

“A wise son heareth his father’s instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.” ~Verse 1

In a healthy relationship, parents really do want the best for their children. Often their instruction and correction come from a place of wanting their teen to avoid some of the mistakes they made. Teenagers can tend to think they know it all, but hopefully, we can help them see the value in listening to our guidance.

I thank God for other caring adults, like teachers, coaches, and youth leaders, that He’s placed in our daughters’ lives. Our teens can thrive when they’re willing to accept insights from others. If they fail to listen to people who love them, they could have a rough road ahead.

2. Think before you speak.

“He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.” ~Verse 3

This is old but valuable advice. Wouldn’t we all be better off if we followed it? How many problems could we avoid if we’d either think before we speak or just keep quiet? The answer for me is a whole bunch!

Don’t say everything that pops into your mind. Controlling your tongue will keep you out of many difficult situations as you progress in life.

3. Work hard at whatever you do.

“The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat.” ~Verse 4

Whether it’s in the classroom, on the field, or in the band room, do your best and commit to the process. Habitual laziness will get you nothing and nowhere in life.

4. A little humility on your part will resolve almost any conflict.

“Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well-advised is wisdom.” ~Verse 10

You don’t have to win every argument or prove your point all the time. Be willing to humble yourself and work with others to find solutions to problems.

5. Avoid all get-rich-quick schemes.

“Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labor shall increase.” ~Verse 11

You know how the saying goes…If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Earn money the old fashioned way – with hard work – and you’re a lot more likely to hang on to it.

6. Don’t let disappointments defeat you.

“Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.” ~Verse 12

Disappointments are a part of life. We all face them, and future success is built on how we deal with them. Hopefully, we as parents have helped our children learn how to handle their disappointments. There’s nothing wrong with mourning a loss, but don’t stay there for too long. Pick yourself up and move on.

Robert Kiyosaki says, “The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.“

7. Live your life according to the principles in God’s Word.

“Whoso despiseth the word shall be destroyed: but he that feareth the commandment shall be rewarded.” ~Verse 13

How wonderful it would be if you developed the spiritual disciplines of Bible reading and prayer as a teenager. God blesses us when we know and obey what His Word tells us to do.

Disregarding God’s commands will only bring harm to our teenagers, whether immediately in or in their future. May we as parents set a good example for them by recognizing its authority in our own lives.

8. In every stage of life, find good friends.

“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” ~Verse 20

We can all be easily influenced by our friends. One of my prayers for our girls is that they would have discernment in their relationships, whether it be with other girls or with guys. Our teenagers don’t have the life experience they might need to see through to a person’s character.

Yet good friends can be such a gift! We can encourage each other when we’re down, celebrate each other’s successes, and just make the journey through life so much more fulfilling.

As with most things I write about helping teenagers, I find that all of these are areas I can improve in as an “older” adult as well!

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The Lesson of the Magnifying Glass: How We Can Glorify God

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On Wednesday nights at our church, I work with a group of young children. They range in age from four to eight-years-old. As most of us know, using an object lesson is one of the most effective ways to teach a lesson. The curriculum we use had a wonderful one last week.

I took a blank piece of paper and wrote the words “God is eternal” as tiny as I could in the middle of the paper. I pinned it up on a bulletin board in the front of the classroom. Needless to say, the children had a hard time reading what it said from where they sat.

However, I brought a magnifying glass with me and had several of them come up to the front and use that to read the sentence. Once they had the glass, it was easy for them to see what the words said.

So what was the point? It was to demonstrate what it means to glorify God. We take a truth about God and through the way we speak and how we live, we magnify, or make “bigger,” that truth about God so that others can see it.

Then I gave them an illustration. Suppose they were playing ball outside with kids from their neighborhood and a few of them went running after a loose ball. Maybe one of the kids pushed you out of the way in trying to get to the ball first. If you wanted to glorify God, what type of response should you have? Run over and push them back? Yell at them? One little boy said that you should walk over and politely say, “Please don’t do that again.” 🙂 I thought that was a good response.

When our reaction to situations we face is the same as an unbeliever’s, we’re doing nothing to glorify God. But we get to decide if our lives are going to show others – even fellow believers – how great He is. As we learn about God and His character through His Word, we can ask for the Holy Spirit’s help to exalt Him.

What are some specific ways in which we can glorify God? Here are some ideas I found.

By praising Him when times are hard

We proclaim His goodness when we’re going through a trial.

“Offer unto God thanksgiving; and pay thy vows unto the most High: and call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.” ~Psalm 50:14-15

Deliverance may not always take the form we think it should, but God is always faithful to deliver us. Even in the midst of our difficulty, we can praise Him.

By giving Him the credit when times are good

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” ~James 1:17

Sometimes I think this is harder than praising God when times are tough! We’re just cruising along, enjoying our blessings, and don’t make proclaiming our thankfulness to God a priority.

By sharing answered prayer

It can be a great encouragement to let people know when God has answered a prayer in our life. It reminds us of the blessing ourselves and can edify others as they continue praying for something they’re burdened about.

By having a consistent lifestyle

“Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.” ~1 Peter 2:12

In other words, don’t be a hypocrite. People are often watching to see if you practice what you preach – and that can include our children. Our goal is not for them to think highly of us, but of the God we serve.

Here’s another familiar verse about how the way we live our lives can bring glory to God.

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” ~Matthew 5:16

By bearing fruit

“Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.” ~John 15:8

We bear fruit as we abide in Christ. This means staying connected to Him and depending on Him to meet our needs.

By being like-minded as believers

“Now the God of patience and consolation grant you to be likeminded one toward another according to Christ Jesus: That ye may with one mind and one mouth glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” ~Romans 15:5-6

We need to be aligned doctrinally, but often we get worked up over things that don’t make a difference. As Christians, we must live according to the Bible, but outside of that, we should seek to dwell in unity.

As we look back over this list, may we be able to say with David, “I will praise thee, O Lord my God, with all my heart: and I will glorify thy name forevermore.” ~Psalm 86:12

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Grasp Now: 10 Ways We Can Live in the Present

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My husband and I recently made plans for our summer vacation, which makes me so excited!! I love having events to look forward to! Whether it’s a family vacation, a date night with my husband, or buying an item I’ve been saving up money for, I enjoy anticipating what’s ahead.

But what I don’t want to do is wait for a future event to make me happy.

I talked with my daughters about this when they were younger.  There were many things they could hold up as benchmarks for happiness – when I can drive, when I have a boyfriend, when I’m a senior, when I have enough money to buy those shoes I want.  I simply encouraged them to look around and be grateful for all they have to enjoy this day, in this moment, to grasp “now.”

Grasp means “to seize and hold firmly.”  Every day, we’re given opportunities to seize. Most of them can seem insignificant at the time, but they are the building blocks of our lives. Rather than let the small moments slip past us, let’s hold onto them firmly just for this moment that they have been given. 

I had one of these moments on Saturday night. I was working in the kitchen, my husband was in the garage cleaning my car, and our daughter was practicing a song on the piano. Nothing extraordinary was happening. It was just a typical part of our day. But I stopped to thank God for that moment with the three of us here, all healthy, safe, and loved.

I like this quote from Sarah Ben Breathnach.

“Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy.“

Here’s a list of ten things we can do to grasp the now that is today.

1. Give thanks for the small things.

Write down three things you’re thankful for right now. Bonus points if you put it on a sticky note and reflect on those things for the entire day.

2. Take five minutes and sit still.

Literally, five minutes. Set a timer on your phone and be still. Meditate on a Bible verse, sing through a song in your head, pray, picture your favorite place in your mind. Just don’t think about your to-do list.

3. Smile on purpose.

It can be at your family, at the cashier in the grocery store, at a perfect stranger behind you in line. It takes no extra time or money to smile.

4. Hug your family.

As in a real hug, body to body, not a quick pat on the shoulder as they head out the door.

5. Take a picture of something that’s beautiful to you.

It could be the flower blooming in your front yard, the plate of cookies you baked, your child’s smile. Use it as your home screen on your phone to remind you of the beauty around you.

6. Enjoy eating and drinking mindfully.

I eat way too fast, though I blame it on my kids. I like my food hot, and when they were little, if I wanted to get it down hot, I had to do it quickly before one of them needed something.

We gulp down most of our meals. Today let’s make it a process. Be grateful you have an appetite. Savor what you put in your mouth that nourishes your body.

7. Go outside.

Whatever the weather, try to spend at least a few minutes in nature.

8. Say a heartfelt thank you to someone who serves you today.

The bagger at the grocery store, the barista, the fast-food worker who hands you your chicken sandwich, or the teacher at your child’s school would likely all be encouraged by your expression of appreciation.

9. Meditate on a Bible verse that encourages you.

Here are a few to get you started.

“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation.” ~Isaiah 12:2

“My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.” ~Psalm 73:26

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” ~Matthew 11:28

10. Find a little time just to do something you enjoy.

Read a chapter in a book, listen to a podcast or playlist, work on a puzzle, bake cookies, or do some sort of craft. It doesn’t have to take a long time, but set aside a few minutes to do something that brings you pleasure.

We have been given today as a gift from God. May we use the day for His glory by living it to its fullest.

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10 Ways to Manage All the Hopes and Dreams We Have for Our Children

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Parenting is a marvelous thing. In the normal process of life, we start with a newborn baby who is totally dependent on us and end with a real, human adult who is fully capable of making decisions and providing for him/herself.

And by “marvelous,” I do mean wonderful and extraordinary, but I sure don’t mean easy. Full of joy, yes, but also pain. It’s a journey that drains us dry…with its happy and sad tears, abundant need for patience and wisdom, and lack of sleep (from babies to teens!)

I read this quote quite awhile ago, but I’ve been thinking about it more recently perhaps because our daughters are now on the precipice of living out their own hopes and dreams.

“Women who earnestly desire to be good mothers need to….commit everything to Him [God] first and foremost, including their hopes, dreams, and expectations, not only for themselves but also for their children.” ~From the book Mothering Heights by Keitha Smith and Susan Brereton

Well, that part right there about “commit everything to God” could be the beginning of my life struggles! It comes back to one of the overarching themes here on the blog, which is trusting God.

As new parents, we all want what we believe is best for our children. Yet life has a way of derailing or changing those plans. Maybe some of them are met and exceeded, while others fall by the wayside. Whatever season of parenting you’re in, here are ten ways we can deal with all those hopes and dreams we hold close to our hearts.

1. Trust God with your children’s future.

I love the following verse!

“He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.” ~Isaiah 40:11

What can give me more peace than thinking about God gathering our young ones in His arms and carrying them close to His heart?!!

We know all these truths in our heads, but we must believe them in our hearts. God loves our children more than we do. He knows better than we do what is good and best for them.

2. Pray for your children to be sensitive to God’s leading for their lives.

This is a prayer I’ve been praying for one of our daughters this month. You see, I don’t have the power to convict anyone of sin or to grow them in their spiritual walk or to show them the best plan for their life.

However, the Holy Spirit does. But if she’s not in tune with Him, she’s not likely to hear and obey.

3. Ask God to give you wisdom if/when they come to you for advice.

We need wisdom so we don’t push our own agenda on our children, but truly help them see how God might be leading and working in their lives. Pointing them to the truths of God’s Word can help them discern the best decision to make.

4. Let them live their own dreams, not yours.

We probably all know parents who are living their lives through their children.  All that they wanted to do or be, they pin on their children. Let’s allow our children to have and follow their own dreams.

5. Age-appropriately, allow them to decide what activities and passions they will pursue.

We do have to keep a balance if we have a child who wants to do all the things! But if they express an interest in a particular subject or activity, try to find a way to accommodate them. That could be anything from getting them books or watching a video about the subject to kicking a soccer ball with them in the backyard. One of my dad’s special gifts was showing an interest in anything one of his children was interested in.

6. Keep an eternal perspective.

More important than any sports accomplishment or music award or academic recognition is that our children learn to walk with God. I know that it’s not always easy when our schedules are busy, but making spiritual things a priority is vital.

7. Encourage them when things aren’t going the way they had planned.

Whether at 7 or 17 or 27, our children will experience unfulfilled hopes or expectations. Disappointments are a part of life, and we can be a huge help as our children learn to handle them. We can come alongside with empathy, and then encourage them in their next step.

8. Allow them to suffer consequences for poor decisions.

There are times we may need to step in and help…but not always. Sometimes great lessons are learned by natural consequences. They may have to re-do the homework or be late to practice or pay for the repairs, but those consequences can develop maturity.

9. Ask God to give you peace.

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” ~Isaiah 26:3

We can’t focus on what we can do to solve a situation. Rather, we have to rest in who God is and what He can do with our children. It’s a constant battle of taking the worry and control back on our selves, then turning it back over to Him with every new situation and life change.

10. If (more likely when) your child disappoints you, take it to God and continue to show love to your child.

I think at some point we’ll likely all disagree with a choice that our child makes. It may be something big or something small, but I doubt that every expectation we had when we started this parenting gig will be fulfilled.

But what I’m learning is that God uses the parenting process to refine me as much as He does my children. And their failures can draw me to God in prayer for them as I continue to show His love to them.

The older our daughters get the more opportunities there are for God to lead them in a certain direction. My part, first and foremost, is to pray for them. Then, as I’m able, I can share any wisdom I may have gained, being careful to allow God to work in their hearts and not imposing my desires upon them. God has a wonderful plan for their lives, and it’s exciting to think about how He might use them for His glory!

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5 Principles from Proverbs to Guide Communication in Our Relationships

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Do you like to talk? I tend to think of myself as a fairly quiet person, but my husband may feel otherwise! 🙂

Regardless, most of us use a bunch of words every day. Those who are closest to us often get the benefit (or detriment!) of many of them.

This came to mind on Monday as I was reading Proverbs 10. I’ve read it often, but this time I noticed how many verses in this one chapter deal with our speech. I figured this topic must be important if it got this much attention!

Whether it’s in marriage, parenting, or friendships, our words have power. I found a few principles in the verses below that can be helpful to us. I’ve not mastered these guidelines that I’m sharing, but I definitely want to do a better job at them!

1. Make sure that our words are refreshing and lifegiving.

Verse 11: The mouth of a righteous man is a well of life: but violence covereth the mouth of the wicked.

We want people to feel better – not worse – after talking to us! I’m reminded of Proverbs 18:21 which tells us that death and life are in the power of the tongue. The words we speak should energize and invigorate people. If someone comes to us down and discouraged, what we say can give them new energy and strength.

The opposite of this could be criticism or using words that wound. Sometimes if we’ve been offended, it’s natural to try to hurt the other person with our words. Or maybe we get frustrated with their behavior and are critical of our husband or one of our children. If we want to be that righteous man, we must choose to either keep quiet or speak kindly.

After a discouraging day at work, our husbands need us to use our words to build them back up. When our teenager’s missed out on an opportunity she really wanted to pursue or had a friendship breakup, she needs our words of support. She may not always act that way – and may even use her words to drive us away – but she needs us to continue to pursue and encourage her.

2. Speak words of wisdom.

Verse 13: In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.

Speech that is discreet and prudent shows that we are wise. Here we need the Holy Spirit’s help so we can discern what to say at times. We want to be careful not to purposely offend with our speech, but to be tactful and considerate.

Verse 31 also fits in here. The mouth of the just bringeth forth wisdom: but the froward tongue shall be cut out.

Just like the fruit tree brings forth fruit, so we can produce wise words as we learn to be “just” and walk with Christ. I’m also reminded of the Proverbs 31 woman who is described as opening her mouth with wisdom and having the law of kindness in her tongue. I would love to be described that way!!

3. Don’t talk negatively about other people.

Verse 18: He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool.

At times I struggle with all of these, but this one may be the most difficult to abide by. When we find someone else who shares our less-than-favorable opinion about another person, it’s easy to just dissolve into tearing that person down. Maybe it’s all true…but it takes us back to that old saying, “Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?”

Even more seriously, we don’t want to be guilty of passing on rumors or sharing false, damaging information about others. Let’s stop the gossip train before it gets started!

4. Recognize the value of silence.

Verse 19: In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.

I was talking to another mom recently about a situation involving our kids that we were frustrated with. I think both of us felt like we should march up to the authority involved and address them about it. But then my friend saved the situation by saying, “I’ve never regretted what I didn’t say in these moments.” She was absolutely right. That advice can keep me from speaking hastily or harshly and later being sorry that I reacted that way.

Let’s listen more than we talk. Remember Proverbs 17:18? Even a fool is considered wise when he keeps quiet.

5. Choose words that are appropriate and applicable to the current situation.

Verse 20: The tongue of the just is as choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth.

We’ve likely all been in situations where someone said just the right thing at just the right time and was a blessing to us. We may have also encountered people who ramble on and on (maybe about themselves) and what they said was of no benefit to anyone.

Verse 32 touches on this as well. The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable: but the mouth of the wicked speaketh frowardness.

It’s important, too, to leave the past in the past when dealing with our families. Don’t bring up that old argument with your husband or remind your child about how they failed the last time. Let’s stick to the present and speak in a way that helps us all move forward together.

Our words can be truth-centered, grace-filled, and honoring to the Lord as we seek His help to follow these principles.

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5 Areas in Which We Need to Seek a Perceiving Heart

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There’s a lot on the internet about the word/term perception. As I looked around, I came across the familiar abbreviation “ESP.” That’s extrasensory perception, otherwise known as a gut feeling or a sixth sense. We might experience that sensation at some point, but I’ll leave that for someone more scientifically minded to delve into!

The type of perception I want to talk about comes from a passage in the Old Testament. In Deuteronomy 29, Moses talks to the Israelites about the miracles God has performed prior to their leaving Egypt as well as during their travels through the wilderness.

In verse 4, Moses says this to the Israelites. “Yet the LORD hath not given you an heart to perceive, and eyes to see, and ears to hear, unto this day.”

As I thought about that it struck me as a great tragedy that we would lack the ability to be aware of what’s really happening around us. Maybe we could even physically see it with our eyes or hear it with our ears, but wouldn’t be able to understand what is actually going on.

I know I want a heart that perceives, one that is spiritually conscious, emotionally sensitive, and realizes what needs to be done. Unlike the Israelites, I want to recognize when God is working and moving in the circumstances of life.

While perception is important in many areas, here are five for us to focus on.

We need perception in order to…

…notice the continual blessings of God.

Last week I had a medical test scheduled that I was anxious to have done. I showed up for the appointment – early even! – and was told that I was supposed to be at a different office location across town. The office personnel were very helpful and said they would try to fit me in there. Within just a few minutes, I was told that there had been a cancellation. I was able to go right in at my scheduled time and have the test done. One of the nurses said it was my lucky day, but I knew it wasn’t luck!

Every day the blessings of God surround us. But, if you’re like me, you can get so busy that you don’t notice them. May God give us the ability to perceive those blessings and give Him praise for them.

…encourage the hearts of our husband and children.

I specifically remember a couple of nights when I’ve gone to bed and then sensed that I needed to get up and go check on one of my girls. (Those teenagers stay up a lot later than I do!) It’s not easy because I crave my sleep! Yet I’ve come to believe that it’s usually the Holy Spirit prompting me to connect with them. In those specific instances, it truly was a moment that they needed to have conversations with me that were much more important than the missed sleep!

Often, if we’re paying attention, we can sense that something is wrong with our husband or children. I’m sure I’ve missed some opportunities in the past. But we can pray that God will give us hearts to perceive what our family members need so we can come alongside and uplift them.

…root out sinful habits in our own lives.

Psalm 66:18 says that if I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord won’t hear me. If we indulge in known sin and aren’t willing to repent, our prayer life is affected.

We need to deal with sin swiftly. This requires humility on our part, a willingness to admit that we fail God and do our own thing often. Job says, “How many are mine iniquities and sins? make me to know my transgression and my sin.” [13:23] We need a heart like that so we can perceive our sin and seek forgiveness.

…minister to the needs of others around us.

This one hits close to home. I’m often too self-focused to perceive the needs of others. Philippians 2:4 reminds us to care about what’s going on in people’s lives. If we have a heart that can perceive those needs, then God can use us to meet them.

…recognize truth.

There are many false teachers today, and likely there always have been. Sometimes it’s easy to be swayed by the arguments of men. Yet how vital it is that we base everything we believe on the Word of God. Listening to what “tickles our ears” may make us feel good, but if it’s not truth, we can easily be led astray. We need to ground ourselves in Scripture and ask the Holy Spirit to give us insight that will keep us on the right path.

May God graciously give us hearts to perceive in these five areas – and even more – as we seek to live in a way that honors Him.

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10 Bible Verses to Pray When Your Teenager Needs Direction

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Late last fall, our daughter called from college with a couple of job options for this coming summer. Both were good opportunities – totally different, but each with its own potential for personal growth as well as benefits for the future.

She had about a month to make her decision. She wanted to pray about it, and also gather more information so she could make an informed choice.

There was really no right or wrong answer. She determined which one she thought would be best for her and we’ll see how it plays out this summer. Regardless, she definitely seems at peace with her decision.

These late teen years bring a lot of decisions. Where to go to college, what career field to study, what job or internship to take for the summer, is this a person I should date – all of those and more face our children during this season.

I recently read Jodie Berndt’s book Praying the Scriptures for Your Adult Children: Trusting God with the Ones You Love. (It’s hard to believe, but I technically already have an adult child, so I’m trying to get on top of things!) The book reminded me of how much I enjoy praying God’s Word over my children.

Since then, I’ve found the verses below that encompass getting God’s direction and guidance. I’m going to keep this list handy to pray for both of my girls. And by the way, you can modify these and use them to pray for direction in areas of your own life, too!

1. Help her to trust in you with all her heart. Don’t let her lean on her own understanding. May she acknowledge you in all her ways, and fully trust in you to direct her paths. [Proverbs 3:5-6]

2. Let her ears hear a word behind her saying ‘This is the way. Walk in it’ when she turns to the right or the left. [Isaiah 30:21]

3. Instruct her and teach her in the way she should go. Guide her with your eye. [Psalm 32:8]

4. As she devises plans for her life, please direct her steps. [Proverbs 16:9]

5. Lord, guide her continually. Satisfy her soul and strengthen her in hard times. Help her to flourish. [Isaiah 58:11]

6. Help her to seek wise, Godly counselors as she makes decisions for her life. [Proverbs 11:14]

7. Order her steps so that you will delight in her way and she will find joy in the journey. When she falls (and she will), uphold her with your hand. [Psalm 37:23]

8. Show her your ways, Lord, and teach her your paths. Lead her in your truth, for you are the God of her salvation. Help her to wait on you. [Psalm 25:4-5]

9. May your word be a lamp to her feet and a light to her path. [Psalm 119:105]

10. God, please equip her for all that you would have her to do in your will. By your grace, work in her life that which is well-pleasing in your sight so that she might always bring glory to you. [Hebrews 13:21]

I’ve prayed for many years that our daughters would make good decisions and wise choices. It’s a comfort to me to pray these verses and seek God’s help for them to do just that!

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Grace for The Gaps in Our Parenting

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With our daughters now 19 and 17, I’m nearing the end of my active parenting years. While I’ll always be a mom to our girls, very soon I won’t be speaking directly into their lives on a daily basis. (With our 19-year-old at college out-of-state, our younger daughter gets all the benefit of my attention now, for which I’m sure she’s grateful…ha ha!)

As I look back over the past years, I see some areas where I think I’ve done okay. I’ve done none of it perfectly for sure. Yet I’m pleased that I passed along a love of reading books. Both girls make their beds most mornings. They can drive a car and balance a checkbook and clean a bathroom.

But what about the more important things? Have I challenged them enough to develop their character? Have I emphasized spiritual values and modeled disciplines that will affect their success in the future? I’m sure those things haven’t always gotten the time and attention that they deserved.

I’ve missed some opportunities. Teachable moments have drifted away without me claiming them. I was too busy doing the daily stuff of life – or just caught up in my own world – to focus on them.

So when I sit and worry about how I’ve messed up as a mom and feel badly about all the parenting opportunities I missed, I cling to this truth.

God’s grace will fill in the gaps.

I’ve made mistakes and failed as a mom many times over. But, to the best of our knowledge, both of our daughters have accepted Jesus as their Savior. Therefore, the same Holy Spirit that lives in and works on me does the same for them. They have God’s Word to lead and guide them well beyond anything I’ve tried to teach them.

And this verse gives me a lot of comfort.

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:” ~Philippians 1:6

You see, these children aren’t mine anyway. God simply gave them to my husband and me to steward for Him. Certainly, I’m accountable to do my best with that responsibility. But our children are a work in progress. And they are God’s work.

While He has graciously allowed me to parent them, ultimately He is in control of accomplishing His purpose in their lives. Whatever lessons we failed to teach or principles we didn’t fully convey, God will continue to work in their lives. My prayer for my girls’ future can be that God will fulfill His Word and perform His work in and through them.

On the flip side, if I’m tempted to take credit when I see our daughters make a right choice, I must stop and remind myself that the successes, too, are only possible because of God’s grace. It’s not my fabulous mothering skills that finally paid off. No, rather it’s a reminder that God can work in spite of my failings.

So if you’re discouraged about any parenting failures today, take heart. Our God is gracious. He loves our children more than we do. And He can and will work in their hearts to make them exactly what they need to be.

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