Remember my recent post on the lack of perfect parents?  We all recognize, no matter how much we want to do everything right, that we make mistakes.

Yet none of us get up in the morning hoping we can add to the list of mistakes we’ve already made!  We still strive to be the best mom we can be.

And if nothing else, we at least want to be “good enough.”

What exactly does “good enough” mean?  As good a parent as your mom was?  As good as the mom whose children arrive early at the church nursery, clean and neatly dressed, while you straggle in at the last minute with things falling out of the diaper bag and your kid wearing a wrinkled shirt?

Or does good enough mean that you hosted the most awesome birthday party ever or took the coolest vacation or have kids who always win an award for memorizing the most Bible verses?

God has given you the job of mothering your kids.  He has entrusted to you those precious souls – whether they are aged 3 or 13 (and whether you have 3 or 13 of them!) – that He wants you to guide into loving Him.

As a mom, I have come to realize that I am never enough.  Not good enough or consistent enough or wise enough or loving enough.  But God, He is enough.

When I parent in His power and strength, I can be just what He wants me to be as a mom.

Since I have children, I can know that I’m called to be a mom!  Therefore, I can claim I Thessalonians 5:24, “Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.”  He has called me; HE will do it.  Through me, as I yield to Him, He will fulfill my calling to love and train these children.

And He’s faithful to do it.  Not like me – sometimes faithful to parent well, sometimes not.  He is faithful, He’s called me, He will do it.

So when the struggle is real and you don’t know how to handle it and you just want five minutes of peace in the house…remember that God is faithful, and He can equip you to be more than a “good-enough” mom to those kids.

Related posts:
7 Bible Verses to Remember When You Feel Discouraged as a Parent
3 Parenting Truths for Those Tough Days
10 Ways You Can Tell She’s a Mom

Source

Dear Daughter,

You have been given a very precious gift.

In the beginning, it belonged exclusively to your dad and I.  Your world was totally intertwined with ours; you needed nearly nothing we couldn’t provide.  Your heart rested safely in our hands.

As the years passed, your world expanded.  You now have sweet relationships with peers and other adults, people who have earned your friendship and your trust.

Yet your heart and the special love inside it – that love for another that will bring you one day, if it’s God’s will, to a marriage altar – remains your own.

This love we talk of, this forever love, is a unique treasure.  Don’t give it away lightly.

It’s tempting to want to loan your heart out on a regular basis.  It’s often the way of the teenage culture – a relationship with this one and then that one, a few dates followed by a cheap “I love you.”

And while I know it’s not easy to see other friends pairing up and coupling off, remember to take a long-term view, recognize what a gift it will be to save your whole heart for the one God has for you forever.

I know you’ll notice guys…actually, I’m sure you already do.  By all means, be friends with them.  Get to know them in group settings.  Figure out what’s important to you in a future husband.

You’ll want to know more about those who cross your path who are kind and good and trustworthy.  Study a young man’s character rather than just listen to his words.

And just like teenage girls, teenage boys still have a lot of growing up to do.  So don’t look for perfection, but for a heart that sincerely seeks to do right.  And while you’re looking, remember to be developing into that Godly young woman that a worthy man would desire.

In the midst of all this growing and changing, hold onto your heart.  I don’t want you to look back one day and remember all those guys in whom you invested time and emotional energy, only to yield hurt feelings and lost friendships.

Keep your heart whole for him, the one who will be your life partner.  Let it not be divided or left behind you in little pieces along the way.  Save him all your love for a lifetime and, when the time comes, give it all wholeheartedly

But for now, keep it close.  Learn what marks true love.  Observe those older couples who still hold hands, still sit close in church, and find out what they know.  Understand that love is not about you, it’s about unselfishly loving another person.

One day, in God’s will and in His time, that young man will come along who will see the treasure that you are and you’ll want to have a whole heart to give him, one that can love him fully and fiercely.  So until that day, when love comes for a lifetime, hold onto your heart.

Love,

Mom

No parent is perfect.

When we first cradle that newborn in our arms, we have high hopes and great expectations.  We want to do everything just right, from swaddling to feeding, bonding to sleeping

Yet it’s not long until we make our first mistake.  What we wanted to do so perfectly doesn’t quite work out as we had imagined it would.

How do I know this?  Because that was – and is – me.

When it comes to the five mistakes listed below, I’ve made very single one of them.  I’m judging no one here – perhaps you’ve only committed one on the list!

But this post isn’t about making us feel badly about ourselves.  Rather, when we recognize that we’ve made a mistake, we can correct it.  And the best news about making mistakes is that God’s grace is sufficient.  Whether it’s for us and our guilt over the mistakes we’ve made, or for our children and how they can turn out so well in spite of us, God’s grace is key to this parenting journey.

So let’s take a minute to see what we might have done – or still be doing – wrong.

1.  Taking the short-term view instead of the long-term view.  This most often happens to me when I react (or overreact) out of embarrassment.  I correct my child because I’m afraid of what other people are thinking. I’m not necessarily even correcting for my child’s benefit, but because I think that’s what’s expected from the other parents or people around me. I’ve fallen into this trap many times and can even see how it could happen in parenting my teenagers.  When all I’m thinking about is getting myself and my child out of the current situation, I’m not disciplining them out of love nor am I concerned about reaching their heart and changing their behavior for the future.  I’ve heard it said that our goal shouldn’t be to raise a great child, but rather to raise a great adult.  I have to make sure I’m not valuing outward performance over building character.

2.  Protecting our children from the consequences of their actions.  None of us want our children to have to suffer at any level, but sometimes living with the consequences of their actions is the best way for them to learn a lesson.  Do I really need to drive all the way back to school to pick up that book so that my child can finish her homework and not get a bad grade?  There may be times when extenuating circumstances dictate that, but there are also times when facing a teacher with work undone may be just what she needs to help her remember that book – and other important things – in the future.

3.  Not asking for their forgiveness when we’ve sinned against our children.  When our girls were small, I sadly remember several times when I lost my temper and was angry with them – sometimes just for childish behavior.  I wish I could say it never happens anymore, but sadly it still does.  Just as we sin against our spouse and friends by doing and/or saying things we shouldn’t, the same thing will happen with our children.  What a great way to show them how relationships should work when we go to them and apologize.  If we want them to know how to ask for and how to grant forgiveness, we should model it for them.

4.  Doing too much for our children.  Our children need to know how to take care of themselves. I know my tendency as a mom is to do too much for my girls.  Especially when they’re little, it’s SO much easier to do it yourself – and so much less messy!  Even now that mine are older, I still find myself taking care of tasks that they are capable of doing.  Yet the more we teach them to do, the more their self-confidence grows.  Having them work to earn money for things they want rather than just handing it to them is another valuable life principle, as is owning their own mistakes and handling how those mistakes are resolved. All of this is part of the growing-up process and will help them mature into capable adults.

5.  Selfishness.  When I don’t step up to the parenting plate and let disobedience pass by because I’m too tired to deal with it, I’m putting myself ahead of what’s in the best interest of my child.  I sense my daughter needs to talk, but I’d rather get my dishes washed, so I don’t engage her.  Selfishness can even reveal itself if I try to live the life I wanted through my child, pushing her to do things I wish I could have done when it’s really not something she’s interested in.  Often we’re willing to make many “big” sacrifices for our children, but I find that I have to be careful in living unselfishly in the day-to-day situations.

I wish I’d only made five mistakes as a mom, but I’m afraid that’s not the case!  How thankful I am for the grace of God, the forgiveness we can receive from our children, and the love that makes us want to keep on doing our best as parents, even when it’s hard.

So let’s make it your turn. Is there another parenting mistake that you think is pretty common?

Related posts:
7 Bible Verses to Remember When You’re Discouraged as a Parent
Labor:  It’s Just the Beginning
A Blind Spot

This past weekend, our older daughter was away at a volleyball tournament.  (She doesn’t play, but is the manager for the JV and Varsity girls’ teams.)  Things are a lot different around the house when one of the girls isn’t at home…

When the house is quiet, I can actually hear myself think and can write a complete sentence…but instead of working on a blog post, I sit and wonder what you’re doing.

When the house is quiet, I can straighten up your room and it stays that way all day…but then it looks way too neat and un-lived-in and I don’t know that I like it that way.

When the house is quiet, I can listen to whatever podcast or music I want to without earbuds…but I don’t get to hear you playing away on the piano.

When the house is quiet, I can sit down and eat my lunch in peace…but I can’t laugh with you over a story from your school day.

When the house is quiet, I can bake cookies and eat them warm out of the oven…but then I end up eating too many because you’re not here to share them with me.

When the house is quiet, I can take time to exercise…but I can’t get an unexpected hug from you when you pass through the kitchen.

When the house is quiet, I can actually lay down and take an afternoon nap…but I don’t rest for long, because I need to make sure I haven’t missed your text or call.

When the house is quiet, I can choose what to watch on television…but I can’t hear you laughing along with me at Barney Fife’s antics.

When the house is quiet, I can go to bed on time…but I can’t turn my phone off in case you need me in the middle of the night.

When the house is quiet, I have lots of time to think about how happy I’ll be to have you home again.

So mamas of littles, those brief moments of peace you have from time to time – savor them!  Embrace them because they rest your soul for when all the noise and chaos descend on the house again.

But remember that those moments of peace get more and more frequent the older your kids get.  And while both a noisy house and a quiet one are good and right in their season, I think it’s the noisy moments we’ll remember most.

About eighteen months ago, I began creating monthly prayer lists for my family.  It has been such a blessing to go to God with specific requests for my husband and daughters and then see how He has worked in all of our lives.  Today I wanted to share with you how I generate this prayer list each month.

While there are certain things I want to pray about every day – physical safety, spiritual growth, protection from temptation, future plans/spouses for our daughters – I realized that I was sometimes missing the basic, day-to-day issues they were facing.  To remedy that, I decided to make a monthly prayer list for each family member.

 
On the first day of each month, usually during my morning devotional time, I sit down and write out my list.  I limit it to five items per person – otherwise it could get very long!  If I can’t think of five requests on that first day, I may leave one or two spots empty, but I make sure they’re all filled in within the first three to four days of the month.

I write the list in my basic notebook, which is also where I keep my gratitude list and jot down any Bible verses I want to meditate on.  However, my current notebook is almost full, so I’ve thought of ordering something like this pretty journal to use next.  I think it would make me happy to open that every morning!

As I sit down to make my prayer list, I go through the following steps.  I try to be very specific when I come up with each request.

1.  Break the prayer requests down into categories.  Most months I try to balance my list with one request in each of the following areas:  spiritual, mental, physical, emotional, and social.  This allows me to cover almost every aspect of their life in prayer.  However, some months I may know of more needs in one particular area than another, so I don’t stress about having to include all of the areas every month.

2.  Look at the calendar.  I keep my calendar on my phone, so I quickly scroll through the month to see what’s scheduled.  I’ll notice if my husband has a business trip, if one of the girls is traveling for a ballgame or a fine arts performance, if we have a doctor’s appointment or family event planned, etc.

3.  Think about issues your family may be facing in the next thirty days.  There may be things that aren’t on my calendar, but that I know we have coming up in the month ahead.  Maybe someone in the family needs wisdom for a decision, or perhaps a transition is coming up in a particular area, or a relationship needs some help, or discernment is required in a certain situation.

4.  Focus on goals a family member wants to achieve.  Whether it’s making it onto a sports team or auditioning for a choir or choosing healthier foods to eat, I consider what each person hopes to accomplish.  I also may choose to pray for opportunities for them to serve (i.e. playing the piano or helping in a children’s ministry) or for them to be able to use their gifts and talents to bless others.

5.  Include a character trait or habit that your spouse or children need to develop.  From reading their Bible to being patient with a sibling to exercising self-discipline, contentment, or gratitude, I can usually think of a quality that would be helpful for them to continue to grow in on a daily basis.

Without sharing too much personal info, here’s an example of what a typical list might look like for one of my daughters.

– Safe bus travel to ballgames this month
– A clear mind so she can retain the material she’s studying for her exams
– An opportunity to use her piano playing in ministry at church or school
– A sweet relationship with her sister
– Faithfulness in her Bible reading

One of the many blessings about making these monthly prayer lists has been seeing direct answers to prayer.  This monthly prayer list is just one way we can continue to pray for our families.  If you have another method that you use, I’d enjoy hearing about it.  You never know when I might want to switch things up!

(By the way, I created a printable template you can use to make your own monthly prayer list for your family.  Get it for free when you sign up to receive new blog posts from Girls to Grow by e-mail.  Just enter your e-mail address here!)

Related posts:
Praying God’s Blessings On My Family
6 Prayers to Pray for Our Children
A Prayer for Wisdom in Parenting My Children

If I ever thought I had this parenting thing down, having two teenagers in the house would have burst that bubble!

Don’t get me wrong – we have good girls.  I believe they want to make right choices and please God and their parents.

But they’re human, like the rest of us.  Some days are harder than others.

As a mom, I know that there’s so much to teach them, especially in these years – so many discussions I want to have, so many lessons for them to learn, so many practical aspects of life for them to master.

Let’s just say that I often feel very inadequate.

Whether your kids are toddlers or teens, we can all feel inadequate as parents.  Even with wonderful parents of my own as role models, there’s no way I feel equipped to handle every situation that comes along.  We have to say “I’m sorry,” too often, or we don’t know how to respond to the questions they ask, or how to discipline when they’ve disobeyed for the 112th time in a day, or even how to get them to sleep through the night or stop fighting with their sister!

When I recently needed encouragement in this very important role of mothering, I looked to the Bible for verses that could help me.  While these Scriptures may not be directly related to parenting, they all certainly apply and I know I’ll be referring back to them often!

 
1.  “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” ~James 1:5  There’s a reason this verse is first on the list!  In every stage and season of parenting, we need to recognize how much we need God’s wisdom.  This verse is a promise – “it shall be given him” – so we know that if we ask for wisdom, we will get it.  Godly wisdom will always be consistent with what He tells us in His Word and will give us insight into how best to guide our children.

2.  “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” ~Isaiah 41:10  It can feel lonely, this parenting thing.  We don’t always want to share our current struggle with other people.  Maybe we’re afraid of being judged for not “having it all together” like a “good” parent should.  What a comfort to know that I don’t have to do my parenting alone.  Even through the parts of parenting that might seem fearful or difficult, God is always with us.

3.  “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” ~2 Corinthians 12:9  His grace is sufficient for all my inadequacies.  When I make a poor decision or fail in following through with discipline or miss a teaching opportunity, God’s grace is sufficient to fill in my shortcomings as a mom.  When He works in my child’s life in spite of me, He gets the glory.  Any good that I or our children do and any things we accomplish for God are only by His grace.  I need this reminder daily!

4.  “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” ~Psalm 127:3 These children are a gift from God.  He owns them.  They are a blessing and God chose me to be their parent.  Whatever He may be preparing them for, He wanted me to have a hand in it.  Not only that, but He wants me to learn from them and to grow in my own walk with Him as I parent.

5.  “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:6-7  No matter what time of year it is, I can find something to worry about when it relates to my children! Yet God says to be careful (or anxious) for nothing.  I like this quote from June Hunt, ““Worry is most often a prideful way of thinking that you have more control over life and its circumstances than you actually do.”   Let’s leave all of our worries in God’s hands.  After all, He is much better equipped to handle things than we are!

6.  “It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.” ~Lamentations 3:22-23  Every day I get a fresh start.  While yesterday I may have failed as a mom in every way imaginable, His mercy is still there for today and He is faithful to help me be the best mom for my children.

7.  “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” ~Hebrews 4:26  Am I taking my needs to the Lord in prayer?  Do I struggle through each parenting challenge on my own or do I go to God and ask for His help and direction?  God has mercy and grace available to me if I will just come to Him and ask.

We all have days as parents when we’re discouraged.  I hope that these verses will give each of us a fresh perspective and renewed hope when it comes to reaching the hearts of our children and training them to love God!

Related posts:
Using Bible Verses to Fight My Fears
Having Faith in the Promises of God
Four Helps for Our Children from Psalm 119

My daughters start a new school year two weeks from today.

I’m trying to live in denial.

We don’t have little kid summers anymore, where you stay home all day and splash around in the plastic kiddie pool in the backyard or blow bubbles and draw with sidewalk chalk or have backyard picnics and afternoon tea parties.  Now there are week-long camps or meeting friends at a trampoline park or shopping followed by Starbucks.

And while I’m happy and content in the season we’re in, it just seems to make the summer fly by even faster!

While we’re hitting the back to school sales and looking over the school supply lists, there’s something more I’d like to do to prepare my girls for that first day of school.

This is a new practice for me.  I’ve never really thought about advice I want to give my children at the beginning of a particular school year.

A few weeks ago, however, I was listening to Jen Hatmaker on a Focus on the Family podcast and she talked about the three things she and her husband hoped that their kids would learn before they leave home.  I thought about what great advice this would be to share with my girls as they head back to the classroom.

 
1.  Be kind.  This is applicable at any age, but certainly pertains to girls in middle school and high school. If my girls learn to treat others with respect and to reach out to someone who seems lonely, it will take them a long way in life.  Looking to meet the needs of others and being selfless doesn’t often come naturally, so this could be a little encouragement I scribble on their napkins and tuck into their lunch box throughout the school year.

2.  Be you.  Don’t try to change who you are to fit in with a certain crowd.  Accept the way that God made you as original and lovely.  If you don’t like sports or reading science fiction, don’t pretend you do.  On the other hand, if you like to sew or work on 1,000-piece puzzles, that’s okay, too.  I have one daughter who is realizing that friendships change as interests change, and that having something in common with a friend makes for a deeper relationship than just wanting to be with someone who’s popular.

3.  Love Jesus.  As my 15-year-old said, “Shouldn’t this be first?”  I explained that these weren’t listed in order of importance. 🙂  How I want my girls to learn to love Jesus!  If they are loving Him, I can rest in knowing that everything else will be okay.  Spending time daily in prayer and in God’s Word is key.  I also want to make sure they have music available to them that will encourage them in their walk with Him.

These three bits of advice are not only good reminders for my daughters as we gear up for a new school year, but it’s good for me to remember them, too!

Source

As I write these words on Monday evening, my house is extremely quiet.

Our two teenage daughters left for camp this morning, and it’s been rather eerie to be home in the silence after six weeks of one or the other or both of them being home all day every day.

About four hundred miles away sit my brother and his wife, parents of a four-year-old, a three-year-old, and five-day-old twins.  I’m guessing their house is a bit noisier than mine at this point.

No matter where you fall on the parenting spectrum, God is using where we are to teach and refine us, wanting us to seek Him more, rely on His grace, trust in His care.

For me, that looks like praising God that our girls arrived safely at camp this afternoon.  It means trusting that He’s going to keep them safe when they hike and swim and jump off high places.  It’s praying that God will speak to their hearts through the daily teaching and preaching of His Word, that they’ll make good decisions, have nice girls in their cabins, and interact with a counselor who can guide them through any difficulties.

I’m guessing my brother’s situation may look more like praising God for healthy babies, trusting Him for strength to get everyone fed and cared for, and praying for a little sleep!!

Most likely, your situation this week looks different than either of ours.  But whatever the age of your children, the struggles you’re facing, the milestones you’re embracing, God meets us where we are and wants to guide us down the path of loving our children and helping them to know Him.

So today, let’s praise and trust and pray for our children as we parent them for His glory.

What’s one of the most important things you can do for your daughter, no matter how old she is or what stage of life she’s in?

If you’ve been reading here long, I think you’ll know that my answer to that question would be to pray for her.

I write about prayer often here on the blog, even sharing written prayers, like my prayer for wisdom in my parenting, and how I pray God’s blessings on my family. (When I searched the word “pray” in my parenting blog posts, it brought up 400 posts that include that word!)

That doesn’t mean that I’m always as faithful in praying for our children as I should be.  All too often, I skim though my prayer time quickly, ready to move on to the next thing.  Yet I know there is so much I want to seek God for when it comes to my daughters.  I have seen prayer at work in their lives – and when I look back over my own life, I know that much of what has come to pass has been because of parents who consistently pray for me.

I’ve created this list of ten areas in which I want to pray for our girls.  I’m hoping that this list will be a reminder to me of requests to bring before God. I’ve included the Bible passages from which I gleaned these prayers, as I love the idea of praying God’s Word back to Him.  You may also want to frame your own prayers from these verses, or add/substitute new categories that fit what you would like to see God do in and through your daughter.

 
Lord, help my daughter to keep her heart clean before you, to recognize temptation and to run from it, recognizing that God’s will for her life is for her to be pure. [Psalm 51:10; I Corinthians 6:18; I Thessalonians 4:3]

2.  Her faith.  This covers her walk with God, the state of her soul.  First of all, has she accepted Jesus as her Savior?  That is the first step she needs to take.  If she has, I can pray for her spiritual growth.  Is she spending time with God on a regular basis?  Is she maturing in her Christian faith?

May my daughter walk in truth, resting in Jesus as the author and finisher of her faith, and growing daily in her relationship with Him.  [3 John 4; Hebrews 12:2; Colossians 1:10]

3.  Her attitude.  Pray for her to have a sweet spirit.  Many verses in Proverbs emphasize the importance of accepting correction and instruction, so we want our girls to have a teachable spirit as well.

Help her to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit.  May love, joy, peace, patience, humility, and self-control mark her attitudes and her actions.  Let her be willing to listen to those who have her best interest at heart.  [Galatians 5:22-23; Proverbs 19:20]

4.  Her friends.  As women, we know the important role that friends play in our lives.  In every stage, the people that our daughters choose to be around can either build them up and encourage them, or lead them away from what they should be.

May she have loving and faithful friends that build her up and encourage her in her Christian walk. [Proverbs 17:17; Proverbs 27:6, 17]

5.  Her influences.  While friends are a significant influence, there are other things impacting her life.  Teachers, coaches, books she reads, music she listens to, movies she watches – all of these are speaking into her life.

Help her to seek wise influences, to discern when evil is involved, and hold on tightly to things that are good.  [Proverbs 13:20; I Corinthians 15:33; I Thessalonians 5:21]

6.  Her thought life.  What our daughter thinks about will eventually come out in her actions.  How we want to cover her thought life in prayer!  What she thinks about God, about herself, and about others will cause her to make daily choices that can be either helpful or harmful.

Draw her to think on things that are good and praiseworthy.  [Philippians 4:8]

7.  Her focus.  What is important to our daughter?  What is she working towards?  How does she use her time?  We want our daughter to focus on building into her life things that will last forever.

 
8.  Her priorities.  We all know that our lives can get out of balance when we don’t put “first things first.”  Focusing on knowing God, building relationships, setting good goals, having healthy habits, and developing her God-given talents are all things we want to encourage her in.  Let’s pray that she will know how to keep her priorities in order.

Help her to seek first to know God, to serve God and not wealth, to value relationships, and to live out God’s calling for her life.  [Matthew 6:33, 24; I Thessalonians 5:11; Ephesians 4:1]

9.  Her service.  I have prayed specifically for God to open doors of opportunity for our girls to serve in different ways.  Then, as they get those opportunities, I pray that they will do it with right motives and for God’s glory.

May my daughter use the gifts you’ve given her to serve others, doing her service from a heart of love with pure motives, as if she were serving Christ Himself. [I Peter 4:10; Matthew 25:40]

10.  Her future.  No matter what stage our daughter is in, she has a future.  Right now, my daughters’ futures include, among other things, a week of teen camp and a new school year as 10th and 8th graders.  There is so much to pray for just right there!!  Yet their future also may include college, a husband, a career, etc.  Not a day goes by that I don’t want to pray for all that my girls have ahead of them.  How thankful I am for a God Who holds all of their days in His hands!

Direct her steps, giving her confidence to know that your plans for her are full of goodness and peace, and beyond anything she can imagine for herself. [Proverbs 16:9; Jeremiah 29:11; I Corinthians 2:9]

I’ve created a free printable list of these ten items that you can use as you pray for your daughter.  Click here to get a printable PDF.

Let’s ask God to burden our hearts to pray for these precious souls He’s entrusted to us!

It wasn’t long ago that summer break began in all its glory.

But, on occasion, those gloriously long summer days may seem a little too long.  Keeping the peace in the house – whether between siblings or just your own peace of mind! – may seem a little harder to maintain as the weeks go by.

As I anticipate that situation here at times, I try to remember a few key ideas that usually help our summer flow a bit more smoothly.


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1.  Expect them to entertain themselves.  This looks different at each age, but you can begin this when your children are very little by giving them brief periods of time alone to play in their crib or pack-n-play. For us, this transititioned into nap/quiet time every afternoon when they became toddlers and preschoolers. Whether you use books or specific toys that are played with only at that time, they can learn to keep themselves occupied.  It’s actually a great skill for them to master!  In our house these days, after lunch is typically a quiet time where each of us read or do something alone.

2.  Mix some work in with their fun.  I started my summer learning program years ago because I instinctively knew that hours upon of hours of free time would lead to some “bored” and disgruntled children.  I also wanted to teach them to use their time productively.  It doesn’t all have to be educational work, either – having daily or weekly chores around the house certainly counts, too – and even better if there’s a mix of indoor and outdoor responsibilities.  I have my girls doing all their own laundry this summer, and it has been a huge help!  I don’t know that I’ll ever want to take that chore back again. 🙂

3.  Be willing to give up my “personal” time to spend time with them.  I’d be pretty happy staying home most of the time, but I know that, at the ages my daughters are, they need chances to get out and do things more often.  This summer I decided that each week that we’re home (and don’t have too many obligations), I’d try to plan an activity with them.  The first week, we took a picnic lunch downtown.  Last week, we explored a local park and museum that we’d never visited before.  Obviously, spending time with our children doesn’t have to involve leaving the house.  Instead of sitting down in a chair with my book, I can join my girls in a game or we can bake a treat for the family. 

In the midst of making the most of summer and soaking in all that this season has to offer, keeping a peaceful tone in the house is a priority!

What other tips do you have for making this a peaceful summer?