As much as your children may not want you to read this post, helping them learn to take responsibility for helping around the house is good for them and for you!

We started our children on chores when they were very young.  Picking up their toys after they finished playing with them was their first task.  As you would expect, we did most of the work while they tossed in a couple of toys and got all the praise. 🙂

I believe we started our girls with “paying” chores around age 4 or 5. We wanted them to learn early that work equals money. We also wanted opportunities to explain the money principles of giving, saving, and spending with money they had “earned” themselves.

Whether you’re just beginning this process or are thinking about changing things up around your home, here are some questions to guide us through assigning chores to our kids.

 

1.  What chores are age appropriate?  Safety first 🙂 so think of chores that a four-year-old (or whatever age your child is) can accomplish easily.  Simple tasks like emptying small trash cans or sorting dirty clothes by color/type or putting plates and forks on the table before a meal work well for beginners.  There’s a great list of Age-Appropriate Chores at Focus on the Family.  Crystal Paine also has a free printable list of Age-Appropriate Chores for Children.  Obviously the number of chores will be small while they’re young, and increase as they get older.

2.  What do I want to accomplish by assigning chores to my children?  In other words, what are your goals in this area?  We chose to have our children do certain chores just because they’re part of our family and need to help out.  These are typically daily tasks like making their bed, setting the table, and cleaning out the dishwasher.  We chose to pay them for responsibilities that tend to be weekly and take a bit more time, like vacuuming their bedroom and cleaning their bathroom.  Our goal, then, was two-fold.  We want them to realize that it takes all of us working together to keep the house running smoothly.  We also wanted them to see the value in working to earn money, which created teachable moments as they learned to handle that money.

As with most things, I love Dave Ramsey’s perspective on this subject!

 

3.  Am I setting my child up for success with their chores?  Explain what the chore is, then demonstrate it, then let them do it themselves.  I did this with our children for the first several weeks of a new job.  It took more of my time at that point, but the payoff is worth it!  Think about how long you want their chores to take.  Are you assigning them two chores that should take them ten minutes to accomplish?  Is that something they can easily handle at their age level or could they take on more jobs? Then remember there are also times for grace – maybe they’re having a hard time one week, so pitch into help them finish, and still pay them.  Also consider whether or not you want to change up the chores occasionally. Maybe one task can be passed down to a younger brother or sister after a period of time, or you can change every one’s chores around every few months.

4.  How will I track his/her completion of their chores?  Some people really like chore charts.  I do like the idea of using these with young children when you can post pictures of the few chores they have and they can refer to that to stay on task.  (Ruth has links to cute free printable chore charts.)  We personally haven’t done that on a regular basis.  When they were younger, our girls would just let me know when they were finished, and I’d do a quick perusal to make sure that everything passed inspection.  You also should decide what is an acceptable level of “completion” and when a chore needs to be re-done.  They probably won’t be excited about having to do a task over, but it’s part of the learning process.  Yes, we’re building character, too, and teaching them to be proud of a job well done.

5.  What are the rewards and/or consequences of my child doing/not doing their chores?   We simply used monetary rewards for chores.  For the most part, doing chores has not been an option.  What we have done at times – especially with a child who tends to procrastinate – is to give her a deadline for having those chores done.  For example, Saturday is our “chore day.”  When our girls were younger, they had a deadline (maybe noon) for getting their chores done if they were going to get paid for them.  If they weren’t finished by the deadline, they still had to do the chores, but they didn’t get paid for them.  (Sometimes the money wasn’t enough motivation to get them to put down the book they were reading and get busy – but I still needed the bathroom cleaned or their bedroom vacuumed.)  They’ve rarely been given the opportunity to just not do their chores and not get paid.  I’ve heard of other parents who have the kids pay them if their chores aren’t done in a timely manner.

Many lessons can be taught through chores. Responsibility, diligence, stewardship, and orderliness are all life skills that their college roommate – and future spouse – will be grateful that they developed!

Let me know if you have other tips and tricks related to your children and getting chores done!

Related posts:
13 Chores for a Five-Year-Old
Work:  It’s a Good Thing
5 Tips for Teaching Our Children How to Clean House

Teenagers.

I have two of them.  I’ve found that they’re everything I’d expected, yet more and less at the same time.  We’re all learning and growing together these days.  I’ve recognized that they’re wanna-be adults with enough kid in them to still need plenty of attention, heaps of patience, and lots of love.

My teenagers are growing up in a time so far removed from my teenage years.  Computers, cell phones, social media, the world wide web – yes, I know I’m old and sound like it! – but none of that was around in our home when I was growing up.

The challenges our young people face are real, yet God’s Word is timeless in how it applies to their lives – as much as it did when I graced the ’80’s with my Farrah Fawcett hair and jelly shoes and leg warmers (just hopefully not all on the same day! 🙂

As I thought about issues that I know my girls are dealing with on a regular basis, I came up with this list of Scripture verses that can encourage and challenge them.  Hope you’ll find the list helpful, too!

Source

 
1.  “I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.” ~Psalm 101:3  Surely the teen years hold countless opportunities for our children to be tempted to view things that are wicked.  Sometimes it’s just natural curiosity that leads them down a wrong path, so we need to be wise in training our children about situations to avoid.  We want them to learn to hate that which taints their mind with images that can never be totally erased.

2.  “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” ~Proverbs 16:32  Let’s agree that the teen years are full of all kinds of emotions!  Learning to control those emotions is a big part of their maturing process.  This verse encourages them to be slow to get angry and to value self control.

3.  “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” ~Proverbs 18:24  Girls (who grow up to be women who may still struggle in this area) often have friend issues at some point during their teen years.  I encourage my daughters to look for someone who is lonely that they can befriend.  Getting their focus off of themselves and reaching out to others is vital.  If they can first see themselves as loved and valued by God and understand that He is able to meet all their needs, they’ll more easily navigate this particular struggle.

4. “Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” ~Joshua 1:9  Our children are going to need courage in these days – to say yes to right and no to wrong.  Feelings of fear and even dismay can tempt them to be discouraged, but God has promised to be with them through every trial.

5.  “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” ~Philippians 4:8  This is a longer verse to memorize, but if our children can let these truths guide their thinking, they’ll be set up for success now and in the future.

6.  “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” ~Proverbs 3:5, 6  The older our teens get, the more life-impacting their decisions become.  Whether it’s for guidance in class choices, extracurricular activities, what college to attend, or what major they’ll pursue, trusting God and acknowledging Him along the way will lead to His direction in these decisions.

7.  “The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe.” ~Proverbs 29:25  It’s natural to focus on what other people think (no matter what our age and stage of life), but this verse warns our teen as well as us that worrying about what other people think of us can trap us into going against what we know is right.

8.  “While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.” ~2 Corinthians 4:18  Young people often feel invincible, like nothing bad could ever happen to them.  This verse reminds us all that living for eternity and valuing things that will last forever keeps us on the right track.

9.  “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;” ~Colossians 3:23  In other words, work hard!  Do your best.  Even when studying is hard and sports practice requires a lot of effort, don’t slack off. Use the challenge as a way to honor the Lord.

10. “Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you.” ~I Peter 5:7  God loves and cares about you.  Sometimes our teens can feel lost, overlooked, unimportant, or just plain overwhelmed with all that life is throwing at them.  God cares and He will carry those burdens for them.

What other verses might be helpful for teens to memorize?  Have any of these verses helped you through a hard time or transition?

Related posts:
7 Ways to Help Your Teenage Daughter
Three “L’s” for Parenting Teens
13 Things I Want My 13-Year-Old Daughter to Know

Remember my recent post on the lack of perfect parents?  We all recognize, no matter how much we want to do everything right, that we make mistakes.

Yet none of us get up in the morning hoping we can add to the list of mistakes we’ve already made!  We still strive to be the best mom we can be.

And if nothing else, we at least want to be “good enough.”

What exactly does “good enough” mean?  As good a parent as your mom was?  As good as the mom whose children arrive early at the church nursery, clean and neatly dressed, while you straggle in at the last minute with things falling out of the diaper bag and your kid wearing a wrinkled shirt?

Or does good enough mean that you hosted the most awesome birthday party ever or took the coolest vacation or have kids who always win an award for memorizing the most Bible verses?

God has given you the job of mothering your kids.  He has entrusted to you those precious souls – whether they are aged 3 or 13 (and whether you have 3 or 13 of them!) – that He wants you to guide into loving Him.

As a mom, I have come to realize that I am never enough.  Not good enough or consistent enough or wise enough or loving enough.  But God, He is enough.

When I parent in His power and strength, I can be just what He wants me to be as a mom.

Since I have children, I can know that I’m called to be a mom!  Therefore, I can claim I Thessalonians 5:24, “Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.”  He has called me; HE will do it.  Through me, as I yield to Him, He will fulfill my calling to love and train these children.

And He’s faithful to do it.  Not like me – sometimes faithful to parent well, sometimes not.  He is faithful, He’s called me, He will do it.

So when the struggle is real and you don’t know how to handle it and you just want five minutes of peace in the house…remember that God is faithful, and He can equip you to be more than a “good-enough” mom to those kids.

Related posts:
7 Bible Verses to Remember When You Feel Discouraged as a Parent
3 Parenting Truths for Those Tough Days
10 Ways You Can Tell She’s a Mom

Source

Dear Daughter,

You have been given a very precious gift.

In the beginning, it belonged exclusively to your dad and I.  Your world was totally intertwined with ours; you needed nearly nothing we couldn’t provide.  Your heart rested safely in our hands.

As the years passed, your world expanded.  You now have sweet relationships with peers and other adults, people who have earned your friendship and your trust.

Yet your heart and the special love inside it – that love for another that will bring you one day, if it’s God’s will, to a marriage altar – remains your own.

This love we talk of, this forever love, is a unique treasure.  Don’t give it away lightly.

It’s tempting to want to loan your heart out on a regular basis.  It’s often the way of the teenage culture – a relationship with this one and then that one, a few dates followed by a cheap “I love you.”

And while I know it’s not easy to see other friends pairing up and coupling off, remember to take a long-term view, recognize what a gift it will be to save your whole heart for the one God has for you forever.

I know you’ll notice guys…actually, I’m sure you already do.  By all means, be friends with them.  Get to know them in group settings.  Figure out what’s important to you in a future husband.

You’ll want to know more about those who cross your path who are kind and good and trustworthy.  Study a young man’s character rather than just listen to his words.

And just like teenage girls, teenage boys still have a lot of growing up to do.  So don’t look for perfection, but for a heart that sincerely seeks to do right.  And while you’re looking, remember to be developing into that Godly young woman that a worthy man would desire.

In the midst of all this growing and changing, hold onto your heart.  I don’t want you to look back one day and remember all those guys in whom you invested time and emotional energy, only to yield hurt feelings and lost friendships.

Keep your heart whole for him, the one who will be your life partner.  Let it not be divided or left behind you in little pieces along the way.  Save him all your love for a lifetime and, when the time comes, give it all wholeheartedly

But for now, keep it close.  Learn what marks true love.  Observe those older couples who still hold hands, still sit close in church, and find out what they know.  Understand that love is not about you, it’s about unselfishly loving another person.

One day, in God’s will and in His time, that young man will come along who will see the treasure that you are and you’ll want to have a whole heart to give him, one that can love him fully and fiercely.  So until that day, when love comes for a lifetime, hold onto your heart.

Love,

Mom

No parent is perfect.

When we first cradle that newborn in our arms, we have high hopes and great expectations.  We want to do everything just right, from swaddling to feeding, bonding to sleeping

Yet it’s not long until we make our first mistake.  What we wanted to do so perfectly doesn’t quite work out as we had imagined it would.

How do I know this?  Because that was – and is – me.

When it comes to the five mistakes listed below, I’ve made very single one of them.  I’m judging no one here – perhaps you’ve only committed one on the list!

But this post isn’t about making us feel badly about ourselves.  Rather, when we recognize that we’ve made a mistake, we can correct it.  And the best news about making mistakes is that God’s grace is sufficient.  Whether it’s for us and our guilt over the mistakes we’ve made, or for our children and how they can turn out so well in spite of us, God’s grace is key to this parenting journey.

So let’s take a minute to see what we might have done – or still be doing – wrong.

 

1.  Taking the short-term view instead of the long-term view.  This most often happens to me when I react (or overreact) out of embarrassment.  I correct my child because I’m afraid of what other people are thinking. I’m not necessarily even correcting for my child’s benefit, but because I think that’s what’s expected from the other parents or people around me. I’ve fallen into this trap many times and can even see how it could happen in parenting my teenagers.  When all I’m thinking about is getting myself and my child out of the current situation, I’m not disciplining them out of love nor am I concerned about reaching their heart and changing their behavior for the future.  I’ve heard it said that our goal shouldn’t be to raise a great child, but rather to raise a great adult.  I have to make sure I’m not valuing outward performance over building character.

2.  Protecting our children from the consequences of their actions.  None of us want our children to have to suffer at any level, but sometimes living with the consequences of their actions is the best way for them to learn a lesson.  Do I really need to drive all the way back to school to pick up that book so that my child can finish her homework and not get a bad grade?  There may be times when extenuating circumstances dictate that, but there are also times when facing a teacher with work undone may be just what she needs to help her remember that book – and other important things – in the future.

3.  Not asking for their forgiveness when we’ve sinned against our children.  When our girls were small, I sadly remember several times when I lost my temper and was angry with them – sometimes just for childish behavior.  I wish I could say it never happens anymore, but sadly it still does.  Just as we sin against our spouse and friends by doing and/or saying things we shouldn’t, the same thing will happen with our children.  What a great way to show them how relationships should work when we go to them and apologize.  If we want them to know how to ask for and how to grant forgiveness, we should model it for them.

4.  Doing too much for our children.  Our children need to know how to take care of themselves. I know my tendency as a mom is to do too much for my girls.  Especially when they’re little, it’s SO much easier to do it yourself – and so much less messy!  Even now that mine are older, I still find myself taking care of tasks that they are capable of doing.  Yet the more we teach them to do, the more their self-confidence grows.  Having them work to earn money for things they want rather than just handing it to them is another valuable life principle, as is owning their own mistakes and handling how those mistakes are resolved. All of this is part of the growing-up process and will help them mature into capable adults.

5.  Selfishness.  When I don’t step up to the parenting plate and let disobedience pass by because I’m too tired to deal with it, I’m putting myself ahead of what’s in the best interest of my child.  I sense my daughter needs to talk, but I’d rather get my dishes washed, so I don’t engage her.  Selfishness can even reveal itself if I try to live the life I wanted through my child, pushing her to do things I wish I could have done when it’s really not something she’s interested in.  Often we’re willing to make many “big” sacrifices for our children, but I find that I have to be careful in living unselfishly in the day-to-day situations.

I wish I’d only made five mistakes as a mom, but I’m afraid that’s not the case!  How thankful I am for the grace of God, the forgiveness we can receive from our children, and the love that makes us want to keep on doing our best as parents, even when it’s hard.

So let’s make it your turn. Is there another parenting mistake that you think is pretty common?

Related posts:
7 Bible Verses to Remember When You’re Discouraged as a Parent
Labor:  It’s Just the Beginning
A Blind Spot

This past weekend, our older daughter was away at a volleyball tournament.  (She doesn’t play, but is the manager for the JV and Varsity girls’ teams.)  Things are a lot different around the house when one of the girls isn’t at home…

 

When the house is quiet, I can actually hear myself think and can write a complete sentence…but instead of working on a blog post, I sit and wonder what you’re doing.

When the house is quiet, I can straighten up your room and it stays that way all day…but then it looks way too neat and un-lived-in and I don’t know that I like it that way.

When the house is quiet, I can listen to whatever podcast or music I want to without earbuds…but I don’t get to hear you playing away on the piano.

When the house is quiet, I can sit down and eat my lunch in peace…but I can’t laugh with you over a story from your school day.

When the house is quiet, I can bake cookies and eat them warm out of the oven…but then I end up eating too many because you’re not here to share them with me.

When the house is quiet, I can take time to exercise…but I can’t get an unexpected hug from you when you pass through the kitchen.

When the house is quiet, I can actually lay down and take an afternoon nap…but I don’t rest for long, because I need to make sure I haven’t missed your text or call.

When the house is quiet, I can choose what to watch on television…but I can’t hear you laughing along with me at Barney Fife’s antics.

When the house is quiet, I can go to bed on time…but I can’t turn my phone off in case you need me in the middle of the night.

When the house is quiet, I have lots of time to think about how happy I’ll be to have you home again.

So mamas of littles, those brief moments of peace you have from time to time – savor them!  Embrace them because they rest your soul for when all the noise and chaos descend on the house again.

But remember that those moments of peace get more and more frequent the older your kids get.  And while both a noisy house and a quiet one are good and right in their season, I think it’s the noisy moments we’ll remember most.

About eighteen months ago, I began creating monthly prayer lists for my family.  It has been such a blessing to go to God with specific requests for my husband and daughters and then see how He has worked in all of our lives.  Today I wanted to share with you how I generate this prayer list each month.

While there are certain things I want to pray about every day – physical safety, spiritual growth, protection from temptation, future plans/spouses for our daughters – I realized that I was sometimes missing the basic, day-to-day issues they were facing.  To remedy that, I decided to make a monthly prayer list for each family member.

 
On the first day of each month, usually during my morning devotional time, I sit down and write out my list.  I limit it to five items per person – otherwise it could get very long!  If I can’t think of five requests on that first day, I may leave one or two spots empty, but I make sure they’re all filled in within the first three to four days of the month.

I write the list in my basic notebook, which is also where I keep my gratitude list and jot down any Bible verses I want to meditate on.  However, my current notebook is almost full, so I’ve thought of ordering something like this pretty journal to use next.  I think it would make me happy to open that every morning!

As I sit down to make my prayer list, I go through the following steps.  I try to be very specific when I come up with each request.

1.  Break the prayer requests down into categories.  Most months I try to balance my list with one request in each of the following areas:  spiritual, mental, physical, emotional, and social.  This allows me to cover almost every aspect of their life in prayer.  However, some months I may know of more needs in one particular area than another, so I don’t stress about having to include all of the areas every month.

2.  Look at the calendar.  I keep my calendar on my phone, so I quickly scroll through the month to see what’s scheduled.  I’ll notice if my husband has a business trip, if one of the girls is traveling for a ballgame or a fine arts performance, if we have a doctor’s appointment or family event planned, etc.

3.  Think about issues your family may be facing in the next thirty days.  There may be things that aren’t on my calendar, but that I know we have coming up in the month ahead.  Maybe someone in the family needs wisdom for a decision, or perhaps a transition is coming up in a particular area, or a relationship needs some help, or discernment is required in a certain situation.

4.  Focus on goals a family member wants to achieve.  Whether it’s making it onto a sports team or auditioning for a choir or choosing healthier foods to eat, I consider what each person hopes to accomplish.  I also may choose to pray for opportunities for them to serve (i.e. playing the piano or helping in a children’s ministry) or for them to be able to use their gifts and talents to bless others.

5.  Include a character trait or habit that your spouse or children need to develop.  From reading their Bible to being patient with a sibling to exercising self-discipline, contentment, or gratitude, I can usually think of a quality that would be helpful for them to continue to grow in on a daily basis.

Without sharing too much personal info, here’s an example of what a typical list might look like for one of my daughters.

– Safe bus travel to ballgames this month
– A clear mind so she can retain the material she’s studying for her exams
– An opportunity to use her piano playing in ministry at church or school
– A sweet relationship with her sister
– Faithfulness in her Bible reading

One of the many blessings about making these monthly prayer lists has been seeing direct answers to prayer.  This monthly prayer list is just one way we can continue to pray for our families.  If you have another method that you use, I’d enjoy hearing about it.  You never know when I might want to switch things up!

(By the way, I created a printable template you can use to make your own monthly prayer list for your family.  Get it for free when you sign up to receive new blog posts from Girls to Grow by e-mail.  Just enter your e-mail address here!)

Related posts:
Praying God’s Blessings On My Family
6 Prayers to Pray for Our Children
A Prayer for Wisdom in Parenting My Children

If I ever thought I had this parenting thing down, having two teenagers in the house would have burst that bubble!

Don’t get me wrong – we have good girls.  I believe they want to make right choices and please God and their parents.

But they’re human, like the rest of us.  Some days are harder than others.

As a mom, I know that there’s so much to teach them, especially in these years – so many discussions I want to have, so many lessons for them to learn, so many practical aspects of life for them to master.

Let’s just say that I often feel very inadequate.

Whether your kids are toddlers or teens, we can all feel inadequate as parents.  Even with wonderful parents of my own as role models, there’s no way I feel equipped to handle every situation that comes along.  We have to say “I’m sorry,” too often, or we don’t know how to respond to the questions they ask, or how to discipline when they’ve disobeyed for the 112th time in a day, or even how to get them to sleep through the night or stop fighting with their sister!

When I recently needed encouragement in this very important role of mothering, I looked to the Bible for verses that could help me.  While these Scriptures may not be directly related to parenting, they all certainly apply and I know I’ll be referring back to them often!

 
1.  “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” ~James 1:5  There’s a reason this verse is first on the list!  In every stage and season of parenting, we need to recognize how much we need God’s wisdom.  This verse is a promise – “it shall be given him” – so we know that if we ask for wisdom, we will get it.  Godly wisdom will always be consistent with what He tells us in His Word and will give us insight into how best to guide our children.

2.  “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” ~Isaiah 41:10  It can feel lonely, this parenting thing.  We don’t always want to share our current struggle with other people.  Maybe we’re afraid of being judged for not “having it all together” like a “good” parent should.  What a comfort to know that I don’t have to do my parenting alone.  Even through the parts of parenting that might seem fearful or difficult, God is always with us.

3.  “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” ~2 Corinthians 12:9  His grace is sufficient for all my inadequacies.  When I make a poor decision or fail in following through with discipline or miss a teaching opportunity, God’s grace is sufficient to fill in my shortcomings as a mom.  When He works in my child’s life in spite of me, He gets the glory.  Any good that I or our children do and any things we accomplish for God are only by His grace.  I need this reminder daily!

4.  “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” ~Psalm 127:3 These children are a gift from God.  He owns them.  They are a blessing and God chose me to be their parent.  Whatever He may be preparing them for, He wanted me to have a hand in it.  Not only that, but He wants me to learn from them and to grow in my own walk with Him as I parent.

5.  “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:6-7  No matter what time of year it is, I can find something to worry about when it relates to my children! Yet God says to be careful (or anxious) for nothing.  I like this quote from June Hunt, ““Worry is most often a prideful way of thinking that you have more control over life and its circumstances than you actually do.”   Let’s leave all of our worries in God’s hands.  After all, He is much better equipped to handle things than we are!

6.  “It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.” ~Lamentations 3:22-23  Every day I get a fresh start.  While yesterday I may have failed as a mom in every way imaginable, His mercy is still there for today and He is faithful to help me be the best mom for my children.

7.  “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” ~Hebrews 4:26  Am I taking my needs to the Lord in prayer?  Do I struggle through each parenting challenge on my own or do I go to God and ask for His help and direction?  God has mercy and grace available to me if I will just come to Him and ask.

We all have days as parents when we’re discouraged.  I hope that these verses will give each of us a fresh perspective and renewed hope when it comes to reaching the hearts of our children and training them to love God!

Related posts:
Using Bible Verses to Fight My Fears
Having Faith in the Promises of God
Four Helps for Our Children from Psalm 119

My daughters start a new school year two weeks from today.

I’m trying to live in denial.

We don’t have little kid summers anymore, where you stay home all day and splash around in the plastic kiddie pool in the backyard or blow bubbles and draw with sidewalk chalk or have backyard picnics and afternoon tea parties.  Now there are week-long camps or meeting friends at a trampoline park or shopping followed by Starbucks.

And while I’m happy and content in the season we’re in, it just seems to make the summer fly by even faster!

While we’re hitting the back to school sales and looking over the school supply lists, there’s something more I’d like to do to prepare my girls for that first day of school.

This is a new practice for me.  I’ve never really thought about advice I want to give my children at the beginning of a particular school year.

A few weeks ago, however, I was listening to Jen Hatmaker on a Focus on the Family podcast and she talked about the three things she and her husband hoped that their kids would learn before they leave home.  I thought about what great advice this would be to share with my girls as they head back to the classroom.

 
1.  Be kind.  This is applicable at any age, but certainly pertains to girls in middle school and high school. If my girls learn to treat others with respect and to reach out to someone who seems lonely, it will take them a long way in life.  Looking to meet the needs of others and being selfless doesn’t often come naturally, so this could be a little encouragement I scribble on their napkins and tuck into their lunch box throughout the school year.

2.  Be you.  Don’t try to change who you are to fit in with a certain crowd.  Accept the way that God made you as original and lovely.  If you don’t like sports or reading science fiction, don’t pretend you do.  On the other hand, if you like to sew or work on 1,000-piece puzzles, that’s okay, too.  I have one daughter who is realizing that friendships change as interests change, and that having something in common with a friend makes for a deeper relationship than just wanting to be with someone who’s popular.

3.  Love Jesus.  As my 15-year-old said, “Shouldn’t this be first?”  I explained that these weren’t listed in order of importance. 🙂  How I want my girls to learn to love Jesus!  If they are loving Him, I can rest in knowing that everything else will be okay.  Spending time daily in prayer and in God’s Word is key.  I also want to make sure they have music available to them that will encourage them in their walk with Him.

These three bits of advice are not only good reminders for my daughters as we gear up for a new school year, but it’s good for me to remember them, too!

Source

As I write these words on Monday evening, my house is extremely quiet.

Our two teenage daughters left for camp this morning, and it’s been rather eerie to be home in the silence after six weeks of one or the other or both of them being home all day every day.

About four hundred miles away sit my brother and his wife, parents of a four-year-old, a three-year-old, and five-day-old twins.  I’m guessing their house is a bit noisier than mine at this point.

No matter where you fall on the parenting spectrum, God is using where we are to teach and refine us, wanting us to seek Him more, rely on His grace, trust in His care.

For me, that looks like praising God that our girls arrived safely at camp this afternoon.  It means trusting that He’s going to keep them safe when they hike and swim and jump off high places.  It’s praying that God will speak to their hearts through the daily teaching and preaching of His Word, that they’ll make good decisions, have nice girls in their cabins, and interact with a counselor who can guide them through any difficulties.

I’m guessing my brother’s situation may look more like praising God for healthy babies, trusting Him for strength to get everyone fed and cared for, and praying for a little sleep!!

Most likely, your situation this week looks different than either of ours.  But whatever the age of your children, the struggles you’re facing, the milestones you’re embracing, God meets us where we are and wants to guide us down the path of loving our children and helping them to know Him.

So today, let’s praise and trust and pray for our children as we parent them for His glory.