Girls To Grow

Nurturing moms in their walk with God

  • Home
  • About
  • Parenting
  • Resources
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
  • Email Sign Up

3 Things We Can Learn from Abigail to Help Us Successfully Handle Conflict

January 23, 2019 by Tracey 4 Comments

Do you consider yourself a conflict-avoider? Or are you someone who’s ready to address conflict head on?

I am squarely in the “avoid conflict at all cost” camp! However, even I know that sometimes we have to address conflict in our lives. If we have any relationships with other people, there’s going to be a disagreement at some point.

Even for those who don’t mind stepping into conflict, there’s usually a better way to handle it than just blindly going at it full force!

In 1 Samuel 25, we see a woman who wisely handles conflict. Even though her husband is the source of the conflict, she steps in and manages the situation well.

You likely know the story. Abigail’s husband, Nabal, has refused to give any supplies to David and his men despite their good treatment and protection of Nabal’s shepherds while they were in David’s area. David tells his men to arm themselves, and they set off to attack Nabal.

In the meantime, one of Nabal’s men goes to Abigail and tells her what’s going on. She immediately goes into action, gathers a large group of supplies, and sends servants ahead of her with the supplies to meet David. She follows.

Then comes the scene of her meeting face-to-face with David. Here’s where I find these three simple truths that can help us when we are involved in a conflict. (Let me say up front that these apply when dealing with typical conflict in an otherwise healthy relationship. If abuse or other harmful behavior is involved, this wouldn’t be the recommended solution.)

Enter the situation with an attitude of humility.

Verses 23 and 24 say, “And when Abigail saw David, she hasted, and lighted off the ass, and fell before David on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, And fell at his feet, and said, Upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be: and let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak in thine audience, and hear the words of thine handmaid.”

Abigail didn’t march up to David and accuse him of being on the warpath to attack her husband. She didn’t begin with a list of David’s faults and vent about how offended she was by him. No, she approached him in a humble manner.

She also didn’t blame anyone else. Certainly this conflict was all of Nabal’s making, but Abigail was willing to take the blame for what had happened.

Since I naturally struggle with pride, I need the reminder of Proverbs 13:10. “Only by pride cometh contention…” It’s going to be very hard to resolve a conflict if neither person is willing to set aside their pride. Let’s be the ones willing to humble ourselves and take the first step toward reconciliation.

Think through the best way to approach the situation before you start.

Abigail speaks to David in verses 30-31.

“And it shall come to pass, when the Lord shall have done to my lord according to all the good that he hath spoken concerning thee, and shall have appointed thee ruler over Israel; That this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself: but when the Lord shall have dealt well with my lord, then remember thine handmaid.”

Here Abigail points out to David what this rash act against Nabal could do to his reputation when he becomes king. Rather than allowing herself an emotional outburst, she speaks to him calmly and reasonably. She makes a logical appeal to David.

Sometimes an argument erupts quickly, but often conflict builds up over time. There’s an issue we need to address, but we keep putting it off. When the time is right to bring it up (which we’ll look at next), start by praying about and deciding on the best way to approach it. You likely know the personality and tendencies of the other individual. Use that to your advantage by planning a strategy to help them see ways the conflict could be resolved.

Timing is important.

Abigail went to meet David immediately because he was already on the way to attack Nabal. This was a matter of urgency, so she had to address the conflict right away.

However, when it came to dealing with Nabal, she decided to wait.

“And Abigail came to Nabal; and, behold, he held a feast in his house, like the feast of a king; and Nabal’s heart was merry within him, for he was very drunken: wherefore she told him nothing, less or more, until the morning light.“ (verse 36)

If I need to work through an issue with my husband, the best time is NOT when he first walks in the door after work. I’ll get a much better response if I wait until he’s had a chance to eat supper and wind down a bit from his day. And I think he knows that trying to resolve something with me is not best done at 6:30am when I’m making breakfast and packing lunches!

Here’s where we need the Holy Spirit to help us exercise some self-control. It can be natural to jump into a conversation, thinking that we’ll feel better if we can just get this problem off our chest. But the response will likely be better if we consider the best time to address the issue.

I admire how Abigail handled a conflict that wasn’t even of her own making. I hope that all of us, conflict avoiders or not, can learn from her wisdom!

Related posts:

  • What Ruth Teaches Me About Trusting God
  • Don’t Be a Fool: 5 Things to Avoid if You Want to Be Wise
  • What Hannah Teaches Me About Prayer

Filed Under: Live

10 Things God Might Use To Change Us This Year

January 9, 2019 by Tracey 8 Comments

We’re just over a week into the new year. How are you doing so far? Working toward some goals or getting on track with your word for the year?

On a very superficial note, I’ll say that we’ve had several days of beautiful weather here (after lots of cloudy, rainy days), so I feel like 2019 is going well!

While I didn’t choose change as my word for the year, I definitely want to experience some change in my life this year, especially spiritually speaking. I don’t want to be the same person on December 31, 2019 as I am today.

For example, one way I need to change is in not being critical in my thoughts and words. We had some of that beautiful weather on Sunday afternoon, and my husband and I were out walking in the neighborhood. I caught myself starting to say something critical about someone, but thankfully I backed off and didn’t take the conversation any further. I’m not always that quick to control my tongue, but I’m thankful that I listened to the prompting of the Holy Spirit that time!

I’m guessing we all want to change in some way. It’s not just change for the sake of change, but rather so that we can become more like Christ. That’s our ultimate goal.

So how might God change us this year? Here are ten things He might use to make us different as we walk with Him in 2019.

1. His Word

As we read and study the Bible, the Holy Spirit uses it to convict us about sin. Or, He may encourage us to step up to the plate and do something for Him that we’re not currently doing.

2. Meditation.

I’m not so good at this one. I’ve done the method of write a verse on a 3×5 card and put it in a prominent place in the kitchen or put a sticky note on the bathroom mirror, but after a couple of days, it’s like I don’t even see it anymore.

But I know meditation will help me – for example, with my critical spirit, like I mentioned above. Something as simple as “Let your speech be always seasoned with grace…” [Colossians 4:6] could go a long way toward helping me fight that spiritual battle.

3. Prayer

We might think more of prayer as a way God might change others, but the act of praying can change us, too. God can increase our faith as we see prayers answered. Including praise and thanksgiving in our prayer time focuses our thoughts on the greatness and goodness of our God.

4. Preaching

Being under the teaching of God’s Word, whether in a church service on Sunday or watching an online Bible study video during the week, can cause us to grow spiritually. The Holy Spirit can use a sound Bible teacher to show us truths and principles from God’s Word.

5. Music

Every time I’ve had a major trial in my life, God has given me a song to encourage my heart and draw me to Him. Sometimes I’ve heard it randomly on the radio or in church. At other times, a family member or friend has shared it with me.

6. Trials

So this one scares me. Yet I know if I’m going to change, I will likely face some hard moments in 2019. How you and I respond to these trials will determine whether or not growth and change happen.

7. Service

God can use our service for others to change us. I would guess we can all relate to a time when we went to be a blessing to someone else, and ended up getting a huge blessing ourselves!

8. People

I feel like this could go one of two ways. We may develop a new friendship with someone who edifies and encourages us in our Christian life. Or, God may place a difficult person in our lives who makes us see how unloving we really are. Learning to deal with him/her could bring about some very positive changes in ourselves, whether it effects that person or not.

9. Circumstances

This wouldn’t necessarily be a trial, but just something that comes along, perhaps that’s unexpected. In God’s providence, He may start us moving in a different direction than we had planned.

10. Books

How important is it to read good books! A couple of books that I think are worth reading every year are Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss and Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot. I’m currently reading Abide in Christ by Andrew Murray. While it’s written in an Old English style, I’m pulling some great truths from it.

As we continue through January, I hope we’ll keep our hearts open to areas in which God wants to change us. We can trust our loving heavenly Father to do what’s best in each of lives as we go through this year.

Related posts:

  • 3 Things to Pray for in the New Year
  • 5 Bible Promises to Pray Over Your Life Today
  • 7 Truths About Finding Joy in God’s Word

Filed Under: Live, Worship

Turning Change Into Opportunity

January 1, 2019 by Tracey 7 Comments

Happy 2019!! I hope each one of you is enjoying a good start to the new year.

It’s a time of fresh beginnings and renewed purpose. Everywhere I look people are posting their goals, resolutions, and words for the year.

I’m honestly not feeling a lot of motivation for setting goals. And while I’ve occasionally chosen a word for the year, it’s not something I’ve done recently.

But this year, I’m going back to the word idea. I want a focus for this year, a way to make sure I’m accomplishing something worthwhile.

At first I thought choosing a word would be easy. With a daughter graduating high school and heading off to college in 2019, my word would be change.

Her life will change, but our lives here at home will change just as much. Beyond the bittersweet nature of her leaving, and knowing we will miss her, is how the change will effect our everyday lives.

As I thought about it, though, I realized that change is kind of a word that’s been chosen for me for 2019. I decided to actually choose a word on my own.

And that word is opportunity.

It's not the word that was chosen FOR me, but one I chose for myself.

I wanted to twist the change that’s coming into an opportunity. Hopefully I’ll be encouraged to approach it in as positive a light as possible!

There are six areas in which I’d like to apply this word. In 2019, I’ll look for opportunities to…

~ grow in my walk with God. I’m recommitting to memorizing Bible verses, which I’d slacked off of in the last couple of years. I expect my trust and faith to be stretched with a daughter hundreds of miles away, so I need to always have God’s Word fresh in my mind!

~ serve others. This doesn’t come naturally for me, so I want to keep this idea in the forefront of my mind. It doesn’t have to be big or noteworthy; in fact, the little ways in which I can serve others can be the most meaningful.

~ share my faith. Another spiritual area where I desperately need to grow, especially in my boldness. I need to remember to pray for opportunities to tell others about Christ. He wants the gospel shared, so I believe He will open doors for me to do just that.

~ strengthen relationships. This starts with my immediate family. I want to intentionally do things with and for my husband. In the second half of the year, I’ll get to develop a new “long-distance” relationship when my older daughter goes off to college. Then I’ll also have lots of one-on-one time with our younger daughter!

Over the last few years, I’ve realized the value of friendships. Near the end of 2017, a lady invited me over to her house for coffee. We’d known each other for a long time, and saw each other occasionally, but weren’t close. We had such a good time that day just talking and catching up, that we decided to schedule another coffee date. Ever since then, we’ve gotten together once a month. It’s been such a blessing, and all because she took the time to reach out to me. I want to be that friend for someone else.

~ try new things. Okay, I really like staying in my comfort zone, but I want to get better at stepping outside of it. One of my husband’s Christmas gifts is helping me out here! He gave me a gift certificate so we could have a private lesson in ballroom dancing at a studio here in Charleston. This is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. We’d talked about taking lessons once the kids were grown and gone, but now we’ve moved that schedule up! He may be sorry since coordination isn’t a natural gift of mine, but I’m really looking forward to it!

~ use this blog to encourage others. I want to be more consistent in writing and putting out helpful content. I know I need to set some goals in this area to motivate me to do better.

Finally, I want to claim these verses for 2019, to meditate on them as I go throughout the year.

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee; because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength.” ~Isaiah 26:3,4

To live in peace as I trust in God, and to rely on His everlasting strength will make 2019 a great year!!

So that’s a lot about me in one post, but I hope you’ll find some encouragement here as you plan for the year ahead.

Let me know if you’ve chosen a word for 2019. Is there something specific you want to accomplish? I’d love to know what you’re planning for the upcoming year!

Filed Under: Live

Merry Christmas 2018

December 25, 2018 by Tracey 2 Comments

From our family to yours, Merry Christmas!!

May the love, joy, and peace that only Jesus can give be yours today, and the whole year through!

Filed Under: Live

Don’t Let the Kids Be the Only Ones Anticipating Christmas

December 19, 2018 by Tracey 5 Comments

Anticipation.

If you want a picture to go along with that word, I can’t think of one that’s more appropriate than that of kids waiting for Christmas to arrive.  

As a child, I remember my two younger brothers getting up VERY early on Christmas morning.  At some point they’d come into my room, so excited to go downstairs and wake up my parents so we could open gifts (and eat candy from our stockings for a little pre-breakfast sugar high!)

Take time to anticipate the wonder of Christ's birth this Christmas season.

As adults, I think we generally anticipate Christmas a little (or a lot?) less.  We face more responsibilities.  There are presents to buy, food to make, holiday events to attend, and Christmas parties to fit into an already busy schedule.

And while we’re never too old to get excited about gifts, Christmas becomes about a whole lot more.  We treasure the joy others get when they open presents we’ve chosen just for them.  Getting together and spending time with family becomes much more of a focus…though there’s still a lot of excitement about the candy and other good food!

All that to say that our anticipation level for Christmas can be fairly low at times.  But in these last few days before Christmas, I hope we can slow down and really anticipate what’s to come.  Let our whole focus not be the gifts or the food or the family celebrations as much as marking the significance of Christ’s birth.

I love the definition of anticipate from the Cambridge Dictionary.  It defines it as “to imagine or expect that something will happen, sometimes taking action in preparation for it.”

Thinking all the way back to the first Christmas, Joseph and Mary must have experienced incredible anticipation.  Many of us can identify with anticipating a child’s birth.  But what about a child that has been said to be the Messiah?  One whose birth was foretold to both Joseph and Mary by angels!  How exciting!!

Since long before then, though, God’s people had been waiting for a Savior.  God told Adam and Eve in Genesis 3:15 that the seed of the woman would bruise Satan’s heal.  From then on, the anticipation of God fulfilling His promise was a hope for all mankind.

And just as our God is always faithful, so He provided His Son as that seed.  The anticipation from the centuries before was brought to pass on a quiet night in Bethlehem.

In this last week before Christmas, let’s try to find a bit of the wonder and anticipation of the season.  This message is for me.  Me, with a few presents still to buy and wrap, a couple more parties to bake for, and a Christmas dinner to cook.  Let me not get so caught up in the last minute details and preparations that I forget to marvel in the glory of the greatest gift ever given.

“And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord….And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.” ~Luke 2:10, 11, 13, 14

Thank you, Jesus, for coming to earth.  This was the initiation of God’s plan for my redemption, the redemption of the whole world.  Thank you, God, for the gift that was perfect and that only You could give.  

Filed Under: Live, Worship

7 Ways to Prepare Your Heart for Christmas (Especially If You’re Not Feeling It Yet)

November 28, 2018 by Tracey 6 Comments

I am solidly on the side of not starting Christmas preparations until Thanksgiving is over.  My girls did manage to sneak in a little Christmas music on the car radio prior to Thanksgiving Day, but I did mildly protest!

Now you may be like my daughters, ready to start celebrating the Christmas season at the beginning of November, and that’s fine.

Regardless, Christmas preparations are now in full swing.  This past weekend we got our live tree, decorated it, and are now asking Alexa to play us Christmas songs every morning.  The wreath is on the door, and the advent calendar is hanging on the wall.

But I’m just not feeling it yet.  I love the tree, and how cozy it makes our house feel.  I’m happy that the stockings are hung.  And I’m not in the throes of gift-buying madness or cookie-baking panic, either.  I just don’t have that Christmas spirit.

If you don't feel that Christmas spirit yet, try one or more of these seven ways to celebrate the season.

We still have a while to get there, but if you’re like me, maybe one of the ways I’ve listed below will help us get our hearts ready for this Christmas season.

1. Read an advent devotional or follow a Christmas-themed Bible reading plan.

I just started Ann Voskamp’s The Greatest Gift: Unwrapping the Full Love Story.  Technically the book starts on December 1st.  However, I know I’ll miss a couple of days somewhere in the month, so I started a few days early.  Other activities like lighting advent candles or decorating a Jesse Tree can help get you in a Christmas frame of mind.

2. Play Christmas music.

I shocked my girls earlier this week when I confessed that I’m not a big fan of Christmas hymns.  They made me feel like I’ve been living a lie all these years, complimenting them on the Christmas piano pieces they’ve played in church or at recitals when I’m not a big fan of the songs, lol!

There are a few traditional hymns that I like, but I also really enjoy songs from Christmas cantatas that I’ve heard performed (an all-time favorite being Ten Thousand Hallelujahs.  Here’s one of the songs.)  The point is, find seasonal music that causes you to think about Jesus’ birth.  (Christmas Grace is a new favorite of mine this year.)  Add in a few fun Christmas tunes, too!

3. Start planning your giving.

Yes, my like-to-be-organized self makes a list of who we’re buying gifts for, how much we plan to spend, and all that good stuff.  But let’s go beyond that.  Who can we bless this Christmas season?  Is there a person you could help that can likely never return the favor?  What about anonymous giving?

Whether we bake cookies, deliver a meal, or find a great deal on a gift we know someone will love, let’s get the focus off of ourselves. We truly receive a bigger blessing when we give rather than when we’re on the receiving end.

4. Find good Christmas entertainment.

Watch A Charlie Brown Christmas, with the kids or by yourself.  Maybe a Hallmark Christmas movie will inspire you.  As a family, listen to a Christmas-related audiobook or read one aloud yourself.

I like The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry and Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.  This Family Read-Aloud Christmas Treasury looks good, as does Home for Christmas: Stories for Old and Young.  (I think Nikki recommended the second one.)

5. Read the Christmas story in Luke 2 every day between now and December 25th.

Go back to Luke 1 and read the history of Elisabeth and Mary.  Go over to Matthew 1 to read about Joseph, and Matthew 2 for the story of the wise men.  Meditate on the people and events that surrounded the birth of baby Jesus.

6. Write down a list of ten reasons why Jesus being born at Christmas is important to you.

Want help getting started?  Jesus came to earth to be born as a baby because of God’s great love for us.  Because Jesus came to earth and submitted to God’s plan, our sins can be forgiven.  You get the idea.

Once you have your list finished, read through it once a day.

7.  Attend a Christmas-themed event.

Go to a play, a musical, a tree lighting, a parade, a big Christmas lights display, or a concert.  There are likely all kinds of community events in your area centered around Christmas.  See if the Christmas spirit is contagious!

The Christmas season is just getting underway, and I hope you’ll enjoy these next few weeks as we prepare to celebrate Jesus’ birth.

[If you have children, check out these 5 Christmas Bible Verses to Teach Your Children and 10 Gifts from Jesus to Unwrap This Year:  An Object Lesson for Our Children.]

Filed Under: Live

There’s No Time Like the Present to Be Thankful

November 21, 2018 by Tracey 4 Comments

Thanksgiving.

For those of us who try to make gratefulness a priority all year long, this is a welcome season!  It helps us focus on gratitude on a daily basis.  It’s a time when even our culture encourages us to be thankful.

Psalm 103 gives us many reasons to be thankful to God, so start expressing your gratitude to Him today.

I recently read Psalm 103, and it’s a wonderful thanksgiving passage.  Let’s look at the first six verses.

Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.  

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:  Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;  Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;  Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Wow, what a list of benefits from our Lord!  Forgiveness, healing, redemption, lovingkindness (so often undeserved, might I add), and good things to satisfy our mouth.  (And won’t we have an abundance of those on Thanksgiving day!!)  Verse two tells us not to forget all these benefits; remembering what God has done for us is important!

My mind has been drawn to God’s healing this week.  My sister’s husband just lost his mother to cancer at a relatively young age.  Our family and many others prayed for her for a long time, asking God to take away the cancer and heal her body.

God answered our prayer for healing, but not in the way we would have prescribed.  A few days ago, He gave her a permanent healing, an everlasting relief from her pain.  It’s another life circumstance that can make us want to doubt His goodness and providence.  Yet we know that giving thanks in all things is part of His will for us. [I Thessalonians 5:18]  And we trust in His plan to always do what is for our good and His glory.

In verses 10-12, we find a benefit that only God can give us, forgiveness of sins.

He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.  For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.  As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

Mercy.  That’s God’s compassion and forbearance raining down on us.  It can’t even be measured.  We could never in a million lifetimes have paid for our sin.  Yet Jesus Christ took it all on Himself, and paid our penalty.

Verses 15-16 remind us of just how fast our lives go by.

As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth. For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more.

Let’s be thankful for the time we have.  We each get a certain number of years to flourish and prosper.  But they’re short.  And then, just like when a flower dies, we won’t be remembered long here.  But each day we’re given, we can be doing what will matter when we’re gone as we love others, share our faith, and seek to bring glory to God.

Then verse 19 brings hope for our souls.

The Lord hath prepared his throne in the heavens; and his kingdom ruleth over all.

I might be a little depressed these days if I thought all I had was this life here on earth.  There’s lots of injustice, dishonesty, corruption, and plain ol’ evil.  But we just read that God’s got a throne in heaven and that one day, He will reign over all.  So whether or not politics goes our way or justice seems to be served, we can be thankful that all will one day be made right by the King of Kings.

The last verse of Psalm 103 brings us full circle.

Bless the Lord, all his works in all places of his dominion: bless the Lord, O my soul.

Bless the Lord with me in this Thanksgiving season!!

On a personal note, I hope you and those you’re celebrating with have a wonderful Thanksgiving!  We’re spending the week, just the four of us, in a cabin in the mountains near Pigeon Forge, TN.  Our Thanksgiving meal will be courtesy of Cracker Barrel.  (Not a first for us, for sure, even though some kids in one of my daughter’s classes told her that eating at Cracker Barrel doesn’t count as a real Thanksgiving meal, ha!!  Don’t worry – one day soon, I’ll make all our Thanksgiving favorites at home!)

I’m very thankful for each one of you who takes the time to read this blog.  May you recognize God’s goodness in your life, not only at Thanksgiving, but every day of the year!

Related posts:
When You Don’t Feel Like Giving Thanks
10 Simple Ways to Show Thanks
5 Tips for Surviving a Busy Season

Filed Under: Live, Worship

Don’t Be a Fool: 5 Things to Avoid if You Want to Be Wise

October 11, 2018 by Tracey 3 Comments

During my morning Bible time, I usually read a chapter from Proverbs.  A couple of months ago, I decided to be more focused in my reading.  Every time I came to a verse that talked about a fool, I wrote it down in my journal.  I wanted to see what it said a fool did – or didn’t do – so that I could hopefully avoid being one!

While I knew that Proverbs talked a lot about fools, I didn’t actually realize how much until I did this exercise.  I found it helpful, and thought I would share some of what I found with you – since I’m sure you don’t want to be a fool either!

So here are five things to avoid if you want to be not foolish, but wise.

Doing what's on this list will make you foolish, so avoid doing these five things.

1. Take advice or correction from no one.

We get this first one right out of the gate, in Proverbs 1:7.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

This makes perfect sense.  How can you avoid foolishness if you won’t listen to wisdom?  Proverbs 1:22 says something similar.

“How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity? and the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge?”

Wise people recognize that there are many situations in life that they don’t know how to handle.  God’s Word is our first resource in those cases.  Beyond that, look for wise advice from other people.  Hopefully your pastor could be a help here.  In marriage or parenting, ask counsel from someone who’s ahead of you in the journey, and seems to be living in a Christ-like way.

It’s only the foolish who think they’ve got it all under control, and don’t want to glean wisdom from anyone else.

2. Talk a lot about anything and everything.

Later on, I’d like to write a post on the verses in Proverbs that talk about the fool’s mouth.  But for now, here are a few examples.

“The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.”  Proverbs 15:2

I like the use of the word “poureth.”  A fool’s mouth doesn’t just trickle out foolishness; it comes gushing out.  And we know from Proverbs 18:7 that it’s not helpful words we’re talking about.

“A fool’s mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul.”

We all know that our tongue can get us in a world of trouble.  Sometimes we can be wise just by keeping our mouth closed.

“A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.”  Proverbs 29:11

Don’t say everything you know.  Before they speak, a wise person will ask themselves those famous questions, “Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?”

3. Enjoy your pet sins.

A fool wants to hang on to his sin.

“The desire accomplished is sweet to the soul: but it is abomination to fools to depart from evil.”  Proverbs 13:19

The foolish man hates to walk away from evil.  He’s not willing to deny himself in order to overcome his sin.  Proverbs 1:23 goes even further when it says,

 “It is as sport to a fool to do mischief: but a man of understanding hath wisdom.”

He sins without regret or remorse, even finds pleasure in it.  If we want to be wise, how tender our hearts need to be in asking the Holy Spirit to reveal sin in our lives.  Then we can ask forgiveness, and seek God’s strength to overcome it.

4. Have a short fuse.

In other words, get angry quickly.

“He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly…”  Proverbs 14:17 

Haven’t we all fallen into this trap?  We lose our temper, and then we say or do something really stupid.  It can be with a co-worker, our spouse, or one of our children.  Proverbs 12:16 addresses this, too.

“A fool’s wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covereth shame.”

If everybody around you knows when you’re angry, it might be time to work on some self-control.  (Preaching to myself here for sure!)  We need the Holy Spirit’s help to have self-control, which I think we’d all agree is the mark of a wise person.

5. Be proud.

This kind of goes along with number one.  If you refuse to accept instruction from others, you qualify as proud.  But look what it says in Proverbs 14:16.

“A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil: but the fool rageth, and is confident.”

Wise people discern that there’s trouble ahead, and avoid it at all costs.  But the fool thinks, “I’ve got this!”  He’s arrogant and self-confident.  His way is the best way.  Proverbs 12:15 says,

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.”

I love that we read in James 4:6 that God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.  A wise man knows he is weak, but goes to God for discernment and strength to overcome his weakness.

Maybe we can all take what I learned about a fool from Proverbs, and make decisions in our lives that will cause us to be wise!

Related posts:
10 Traits of a Wise Woman
A Prayer for Wisdom in Parenting My Children
7 Steps to Becoming a Wise Woman:  Fear the Lord

Filed Under: Live, Worship

7 Tips for Making Each Day Your Masterpiece

September 26, 2018 by Tracey 3 Comments

A common conversation I find myself having with family and friends is about how quickly time is passing.

With the threat of Hurricane Florence recently, my husband and daughters were off of work and school for almost a week.  Looking back at that week when it was over, my husband and I talked about what we did (and didn’t do!) with that unexpected “free” time.  He shared with me this quote from legendary basketball coach John Wooden.

“Make each day your masterpiece.” 

I’ve been thinking about that ever since.  It’s so easy to just let a day go by without being intentional about how you spend it.  We can purposely fill our hours with what’s important to us, or we can just let the day drift by with no purpose.

Obviously there are certain tasks that must be done.  But even in those daily must-do’s, we can choose to focus on making the hours meaningful.

Here are seven ways we can work to create a masterpiece each day.

John Wooden's quote inspired me to be more intentional about what I do every day.

1. Remember that a masterpiece is made up of many small strokes.  Here and there we have days with big, bold wins.  You get a promotion at work, receive a random, heartfelt note of love and appreciation from your teenager, or finally meet a longstanding personal goal.

But most days are full of lots of little strokes.  Things like rocking a baby to sleep, slipping a love note into your husband’s pocket, or lighting a candle while you clean up the kitchen after supper.  Maybe you listened to a play-by-play account of your son’s school day, played Candy Land for half an hour, or wrote out a Bible verse to post on the refrigerator door.

None of these tasks seems like a big deal.  But put them all together, and those little moments become the building blocks of a life well-lived.

2. Do your best at every task you undertake.  Whether it’s making the bed, packing lunches, or washing the car, do the best you can at every thing you try.  Colossians 3:23 says, “ And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men…”

I’m not a five-star chef nor the most efficient housekeeper, but I can get a healthy meal on the table and run that vacuum cleaner with the best of ’em!

3. Realize that God’s given you the skill to produce something beautiful.  He gave you a spouse to encourage and made you the parent of your children.  You are His creation and lovely in His sight.  Yes, you will sin and fail, but He will forgive and restore.

You were created for a purpose.  As long as you’re here on the earth, there is something meaningful God wants you to do.

4. Be kind.  A masterpiece can be marred by ugly strokes.  One day last week, I got angry when another car cut me off in traffic.  I was frustrated and blew my horn – then hoped no one I knew was around because I was so embarrassed!  I’m not saying there’s never a time to blow your horn, but I just let my frustration get the best of me.

We teach our children Ephesians 4: 28, and it sounds so simple.  “And be ye kind one to another…”  But I definitely need the Holy Spirit’s help to live that out every day.

5. Take time for God.  It sounds so basic, but isn’t getting to know God better about the most important thing we can do today?  Carve some time out of your day to find a truth about God to meditate on.

I’ve started using a daily audio Bible app on my phone so that I can hear the Bible read out loud.  Since I’m already in the habit of listening to podcasts, this fits right in to my day.  It’s just another way to take in God’s Word.

6. Use your time wisely.  I don’t think this means every moment has to be full of stuff to do.  It can be extremely life-giving to sit on the porch and watch the sunset.  But surfing the Internet mindlessly or sitting in front of a television for hours can leave you feeling empty, knowing that you wasted time.

Just be intentional with the time you’ve been given.  Ephesians 5:15-16 reminds us, “See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.“

7. Focus on right now.  You can’t change the past.  You can’t foretell the future.  Set goals and make plans, but do what you need to do today to grow in your walk with God and show love to others.

God gives us a blank canvas each morning.  Let’s fill it today with beautiful brush strokes, for His honor and glory.

Related posts:
Of Bands, Birthday, Tears, and the Value of Time
A Time and a Season for Everything
Asking God to Orchestrate Our Days

Filed Under: Live

When an Introvert Went to a Wedding Reception Alone

September 6, 2018 by Tracey 8 Comments

Have you ever taken a personality test?

I hear a lot about them these days.  Frequently, on podcasts I listen to, the host or guests will proudly proclaim that they’re an Enneagram 7 or an ENFP.  And I’m certainly a fan of learning not only what personality type you are, but also the personality styles of those around you.

Better understanding our children’s personalities has guided my husband and I as we instruct and discipline them.  We know that one daughter responds best to clear, direct communication.  She doesn’t care about a gentle approach, nor does she have time for long-winded explanations.

While I’ve taken a personality test before, I didn’t need one to tell me that I’m an introvert.  I enjoy being around people, but I recharge by having alone time.  And when it comes to entering new social situations, I have to force myself out of my comfort zone.

Now, if you’re an extrovert, you may not relate to anything in this post, but perhaps it will give you insight into how the rest of us feel!

If we’re going to a social event, most of us realize that it will be more enjoyable if someone we know is going to be there.  There’ll be someone to talk to, and we won’t awkwardly stand around looking lonely.  And that’s all fine and good.

But sometimes good things happen when I’m a little uncomfortable.

Or from self-focused to others-focused, and the blessing of making a new friend.

Several months ago, I attended a wedding with my daughters.  There was a fairly large crowd, and we knew some of the guests.  When it came time for the sit-down dinner reception, my girls split off with friends, and I was on my own.

By the time I got my food from the buffet line, many of the tables were full.  In the large room, I didn’t want to wander around looking for someone I knew in hopes that there was an empty seat at their table.

I spotted a table with a few empty chairs, and just sat down by myself.  On impulse, I introduced myself to the lady on my left.  She was a friend of the groom, was from out-of-state, and we ended up having the most interesting conversation!

This woman was an elementary school teacher (which I used to be).  She also happened to be from the area where I attended college.  We talked and talked about all kinds of things, and didn’t leave the table until it was time to say farewell to the newly married couple!

That whole experience was a blessing!  It reminded me that I need to be more intentional about stepping out of my comfort zone.  (By the way, this post is not at all intended to brag on myself!  Most of the time I get so self-focused that I forget about trying to bless anyone else.)

Sometimes, if I know I’m going into a situation like that, I try to remember to pray and ask God to lead me to just the right person He would have me interact with.  It might seem like a small request.  However, I believe that God will put me in the path of someone I can fellowship with.  Even when people I know are around, it can be a blessing to reach out and make a new friend.

So the next time we introverts head into a new social situation, let’s ask God to lead us in where to sit or who to talk to.  This incident made me want to be more mindful of noticing someone who doesn’t seem to have anyone to talk to.  Rather than focusing on my own pleasure, I can see if there’s a person nearby who could use some conversation.

You never know when you might make a new friend ~ and get a blessing for yourself in the process.

Related posts:
Lessons from a Cooking Class…That Have Nothing to Do with Food
3 Truths About Personalities and Marriage
8 Ways for Mom to Refresh

Filed Under: Live

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • …
  • 25
  • Next Page »

Welcome! I'm Tracey, wife and mom to two teenage girls. I seek to help Christian moms raise children who know, love, and serve God by sharing Biblical wisdom, helpful tips, and practical advice. Read More…

Let’s Connect!

As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Top Posts

  • 10 "Don'ts" for Moms of Teenage Girls
  • A Letter to My Teenage Daughter: I Think One Day You'll Understand
  • 10 Traits of a Wise Woman
  • 13 Things I Want My 13 Year-Old Daughter to Know
  • 10 Things We Can Know About God's Goodness

Copyright © 2021 · Lifestyle Pro Child Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in